## Inspired by Hpmor

* Author: u/zajinn *
* URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/1wspib/inspired_by_hpmor/
* Score: 7

* Created: 2014-02-02T09:29:25

### Post:

I recently started writing my own story for fun and wanted opinions from similar readers. But instead of posting this in the Hpmor subreddit and going off topic, I thought it might fit in better here.

[Harry Potter Jedi](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9824728/1/Harry-Potter-Jedi)

The tale of Harry Potter, if he grew up watching a little too much Star Wars. 

I'm not sure if this precisely qualifies as rationalist fiction, but I would appreciate any input people have. Although I know the writing is still rough, I'm trying to refine and touch up past chapters when I have time.

I also created /r/hpj/ for fun as well if anyone cares to go into more detail about the story.

Thanks

### Comments:

> **u/flame7926** [+2]  *The Lone Power* (12 hours later)
> 
> The first time I tried I dropped it because I couldn't handle Harry's strange dialogue, but I'll try again.

>> **u/zajinn** [+1]  (18 hours later)
>> 
>> If you don't mind explaining, what did you find strange about it?

>>> **u/flame7926** [+2]  *The Lone Power* (20 hours later)
>>> 
>>> I don't remember. I'm on chapter 7 and mostly it seems to be moving slowly. Hermione seemed weirdly younger than him. There's not enough new happening, and Harrys thought process isn't different enough, or more like unique enough to make it too interesting. Like he went to Diagon Alley which was filled with way too much description, especially given that we've all read about it before. Then he had classes. I really can't understand his pursuit of mediocrity in the eyes of others. He also mentions bad bullying, but its never shown, not even with Draco. Mostly its try not enough unique stuff happens.

>>>> **u/zajinn** [+1]  (a day later)
>>>> 
>>>> Thanks for the update. I wanted to really explore the magical world from a different perspective at first to have fun with it, rather than change everything to make it unique. So I admit, it's not fast paced or extremely creative yet. Merely building up the world and characters to have it come crashing down with future conflict.
>>>> 
>>>> I probably should trim out a lot of the unneeded/wordy details and add more action instead of mentioning it, but I wanted to keep it light so far.
>>>> 
>>>> As for Harry, he's still unsure what's possible and the intentions of the people around him, but he's all for power and greatness, just so long as he doesn't draw too much attention achieving it. Living with his relatives and hiding his powers out of fear made him that way, although things are slowly changing.
>>>> 
>>>> Anyway, thanks for the input and if you keep reading I could always use more.

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