## Looking for a Rational Consultant for my story: The Hills of Inaba

* Author: u/XxChronOblivionxX *
* URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/2y855e/looking_for_a_rational_consultant_for_my_story/
* Score: 9

* Created: 2015-03-07T08:33:10

### Post:

My story is intended to be a rational re-telling (with a few other changes) of my alltime favorite game, Persona 4.  [It is known as The Hills of Inaba, and it features the most logically minded character of the main cast, Naoto, being put into the place of the protagonist, without his major advantages.](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10286391/1/The-Hills-of-Inaba)  It is almost certainly my best writing, and I am determined to make it as good as it is in my head.

I already have one Beta, but I would like to grab someone from this subreddit to help me ensure that the Idiot Ball doesn't stick its nose where it doesn't belong, and maybe with some of the more major plot decision I've been agonizing over for weeks.  Re-reading HPMOR for the third time recently has really left me with a desire to shake up my own canon and create something awesome and, ultimately, rational.  Unfortunately, my characters keep trying to make sensible decisions that are seriously screwing with my plans, and its a lot harder than I thought to have actually competent characters without everything resolving itself quickly, one way or the other.  This is also my first ever extended series, so I'm new at actually coming up with these kind of long plots and complicated characters.

Ideally, the person helping me with this would: have read other rational fiction, be able to notice when someone does something stupid or really out-of-character, and be familiar with Persona 4 and the game universe (though this is ultimately optional).  Knowing stuff about plot composition would also help very much.

I'm not a terribly fast updater, so there isn't a fast-paced production shedule or anything.  Having discussions over chat and looking over my plans would be the main thing, and this probably won't happen that often.  You'll obviously be credited as a Beta.

Anyone willing to jump in?

### Comments:

> **u/musicalferdy** [+5]  *Dragon Army* (an hour later)
> 
> Sure, I'd love to give it a try! I'm a big fan of both Persona 4 and rational fiction and have a good eye for smooth plot flow and characterization. I'll go take a look at the story in question now, since I wasn't aware of its existence yet!
> 
> Update: I've finished reading the existing chapters and want to confirm my availability as a rational consultant (I have trope knowledge, if it helps!). I found your story quite intriguing and am ready to be as helpful as I can for contributing to realize its potential. I'll leave you a more detailed review on FF.net later on today regardless. Also, yes, this is my first post on reddit ever.

>> **u/XxChronOblivionxX** [+1]  (19 hours later)
>> 
>> Excellent! I will send you a PM soon.

> **u/Cariyaga** [+3]  *Kyubey did nothing wrong* (3 hours later)
> 
> 'Fraid I wouldn't be much use as any sort of editor, as while I spend a crap ton of time reading, I don't have any experience as one. However, I just wanted to say here that I am quite looking forward to your story's continued updates. Keep it up! :D

> **u/Transfuturist** [+1]  *Carthago delenda est.* (10 hours later)
> 
> When you say your characters make sensible decisions, do you mean that they're sensible to themselves as individuals with a certain amount of distrust towards others, or that they're sensible to the group as a whole, approaching the problem you don't want resolved quickly as though they were a unified intelligence?

> **u/AlmightyWibble** [+1]  (17 hours later)
> 
> Is the fic understandable by someone with no experience with the Persona series?

>> **u/XxChronOblivionxX** [+1]  (20 hours later)
>> 
>> It would help, and you would understand the significance of certain events if you were familiar with canon, but you don't need it.

>>> **u/AlmightyWibble** [+1]  (a day later)
>>> 
>>> Cheers :)

> **u/ahornypoptart** [+1]  (2 days later)
> 
> I'd be more than happy to help you: I actually started reading the fic, and have an intimate knowledge of the source material and a solid understanding of at least the Less Wrong approach to rationality. I think I could be a help, if you're still interested.
> 
> I've also had some experience writing rational fiction, though nothing published or completed, so take that as you will.

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