## [RT] [WIP] [HSF] Set In Stone Chapter 23 |

* Author: u/josephwdye  *I love you**
* URL: https://setinstonestory.wordpress.com/2015/07/28/chapter-23/
* Score: 12

* Created: 2015-07-28T21:40:00

### Post:

[Link to content](https://setinstonestory.wordpress.com/2015/07/28/chapter-23/)

### Comments:

> **u/Farmerbob1** [+1]  *Level 1 author* (9 minutes later)
> 
> I would like people's assessment of what is happening around Allen.  Specifically, are the reactions of the officers and Riko making sense?
> 
> EDIT: josephwdye beat me to posting a link to my own chapter.  *really* confused me for a minute :)

>> **u/clawclawbite** [+2]  (58 minutes later)
>> 
>> Albert confuses all issues. No one else should have a clear or easy reaction.
>> 
>> The one hole I see is not asking after what he said and for speculation on how he might similarly take action to limit the opposing forces.
>> 
>> Also, the not going over his story in fine detail is off. The officer got off topic and did not get back on, but knew it was important.

>>> **u/Farmerbob1** [+1]  *Level 1 author* (an hour later)
>>> 
>>> The next chapter will start with Riko picking at Allen's arguments, if Allen doesn't immediately fold.
>>> 
>>> The officers know that Allen has a temper.  They also know that Allen will listen to Riko, and if there's any way to push past Albert's influence, Riko will probably find it.
>>> 
>>> Does that help, since you can't read forward yet?  Do you believe I should seed something else in this chapter to clarify these things?
>>> 
>>> With the story being solely from Allen's viewpoint, I'm limited in how much I can narrate outside of his knowledge, and I don't want him to be too intelligent and calculating, even if I am trying to show that he is getting better at it.

>>>> **u/clawclawbite** [+2]  (an hour later)
>>>> 
>>>> It was more that I was expecting them to try to push around the edges and not try to fight it head on.
>>>> 
>>>> Albert seems like people who know enough should find his attention scary, and focused on avoiding it.
>>>> 
>>>> The actual pushing works well.

>> **u/Empiricist_or_not** [+2]  *Aspiring polite Hegemonizing swarm* (an hour later)
>> 
>> It seems crystal clear to me: 
>> 
>> What Allen knows:
>> 
>> * Allen figured out you can guns without metal.
>> * Albert bribed Allen not to tell how to make guns without metal
>> * Albert will put humanity through a pre-literature stone age if guns are re-invented.
>> * Allen knows the best thing to do for him country and himself is not disclose how to make guns.
>> 
>> What the army Knows:
>> 
>> * Allen is a useful violence consultant for people constitutionally ill disposed for it.
>> * Allen doesn't want to be a violence consultant
>> * Allen claims Albert said he can't be a violence consultant
>> * If Allen isn't lying then there is something he thought up that could be *significantly* violent and therefore useful in the war.
>> => The army knows they should try to get Allen to tell him what he came up with.
>> 
>> This is because the army doesn't know Allen talking would be much much worse than their own nation being wiped out.
>> 
>> Edit formatting

>>> **u/clawclawbite** [+3]  (an hour later)
>>> 
>>> Allen really needs to express that it would be better in the long run for a volcano to erupt where he is standing right now than for him to break the deal.

>>>> **u/Empiricist_or_not** [+2]  *Aspiring polite Hegemonizing swarm* (3 hours later)
>>>> 
>>>> The problem is it is very hard to get past family or tribe loyalty hardwiring.

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