## Sampling Bias (short story) * Author: u/VanPeer *The shard made me do it** * URL: https://vanpeerblog.wordpress.com/sampling-bias/ * Score: 22 * Created: 2016-11-25T03:04:06 ### Post: [Link to content](https://vanpeerblog.wordpress.com/sampling-bias/) ### Comments: > **u/CouteauBleu** [+6] *We are the Empire.* (a day later) > > Meh. I feel the story takes way too much time to get to its central point, and the universe feels... I don't know, warped around it? Like someone writing Little Red Riding Hood with 30+ pages, and every one of the 28 first pages is setting up the Important Lesson that you learn when Red is eaten by the wolf at the end. >> **u/VanPeer** [+2] *The shard made me do it* (a day later) >> >> I agree, unfortunately. I did not intend for it be so long winded, since I prefer to get the point across in 2000 words. But stories tend to run away from me when I write them, and when I went back to review it I couldn't figure out how to shorten it without seeming too direct and preachy, despite getting the same feeling as you did. >>> **u/CouteauBleu** [+3] *We are the Empire.* (a day later) >>> >>> I guess my main problem with it is, most of the story and dialogues sort of build a coherent world? But then the climax seems extremely contrived and unlikely. >>> >>> As in, the protagonist meets a legendary dragon whose race is supposed to be almost extinct, far from the place these dragons are supposed to be, right after getting the sort-of-life-changing advice from the wizard AND right after talking about this specific kind of dragon? >>> >>> That aside, I'm also not much of a fan of the "protagonist learns an Important Piece of Wisdom, then immediately gets an occasion to use it / see its value in real life" trope. In real life, transforming epistemology into visible results is hard and progress is usually indistinguishable from confirmation bias. >>>> **u/VanPeer** [+2] *The shard made me do it* (a day later) >>>> >>>> It is contrived, no doubt about that. The reason I thought I could pull it off was because the MC gets information from the future in the form a Seer's vision which sort of clues him to the Important Piece of Wisdom. If it still seems contrived, then the failure is mine. >>>> Thanks for confirming some of my misgivings. I'll try to avoid this particular failure mode in the future. > **u/Lugnut1206** [+3] (13 hours later) > > Ugh, I love all of these. >> **u/VanPeer** [+3] *The shard made me do it* (15 hours later) >> >> Glad you liked it (I think. I am unsure if 'Ugh' represents positive or negative feedback! ) > **u/Ristridin1** [+3] (16 hours later) > > > “Then what do you have to loose?” Forwin shouted. Bestla stared at him. > > The word 'loose' should be 'lose'. Unless this was supposed to be a very subtle pun on 'loosing an arrow' that I didn't get. >> **u/VanPeer** [+2] *The shard made me do it* (16 hours later) >> >> Fixed, thanks ! >> This is embarrassing since I keep making this error despite my brother pointing this out once before. ---