## [RT][WIP] Delphic 2.3: Malpractice

* Author: u/None *
* URL: https://delphicserial.com/2018/05/27/chapter-3-malpractice/
* Score: 20

* Created: 2018-05-28T04:04:06

### Post:

[Link to content](https://delphicserial.com/2018/05/27/chapter-3-malpractice/)

### Comments:

> **u/None** [+3]  (40 seconds later)
> 
> Delphic is a superhero story about Hector, a young man in Detroit with the ability to see the past and the present. It follows his attempts to leverage this unusual ability to do good in the world while remaining behind the scenes, keeping both his identity and the truth of his powers secret from those who would see him as a threat.
> 
> Story threads will focus on several characters as Hector encounters them:
> 
> * Hector's sister, Paris, a homicide detective hiding her own power,
> * Doc Stevens, a disgraced scientist at the forefront of research on the source of super powers, and
> * The exploits of various "Super Teams": government-run groups of supers whose scope of operations have been steadily growing.
> 
> You can start reading [here](http://delphicserial.com/2017/10/21/ch01/).
> 
> If you are enjoying the story, please consider voting for it on [Top Web Fiction](http://topwebfiction.com/vote.php?for=delphic)
> 
> If you would like to support my writing, you can subscribe to my [Patreon](http://www.patreon.com/Delphic).

> **u/JanusTheDoorman** [+3]  (11 hours later)
> 
> I'm confused. End of last chapter, Whisper was in custody pending a debrief about the bank robbery, yeah? Is the implication that there was a coordinated conspiracy which somehow abducted her out of custody, drugged her and kept her in a private hospital for undiscussed reasons? Who are the other four targets the other teams went to take into custody?

>> **u/sparr** [+3]  (14 hours later)
>> 
>> I feel like there's a whole missing chapter?!?

>>> **u/None** [+1]  (15 hours later)
>>> 
>>> Well crap. Let me think about how to fix that.

>> **u/None** [+2]  (14 hours later)
>> 
>> End of the last chapter, Whisper's cell was empty and it was assumed she had escaped.
>> 
>> I'm thinking I need to smooth over the skip more.

>> **u/None** [+2]  (14 hours later)
>> 
>> I added two transition paragraphs at the beginning of the chapter. Let me know if you think it helps.

>>> **u/JanusTheDoorman** [+5]  (15 hours later)
>>> 
>>> It helps, but it definitely feels like there's a whole missing chapter's worth of events that went on there. As readers, we're now strongly disconnected from Hector's insight into the situation. Who are these four? What were their methods and motives? Did anything in Hector's Viewing of the abduction possibly expose him to scrutiny from Liberty or other parties who might doubt his cover story based on being able to gather this sort of intel?
>>> 
>>> The end of chapter introduction into a new plot regarding Hector's genetics seems to pile on a whole lot of new possibilities and questions while the ones regarding Whisper's abduction have just been opened without even a hint of closure or pointing in the direction of closure.

>>> **u/sparr** [+4]  (16 hours later)
>>> 
>>> They help some, but I am still missing a lot of info that the previous chapters have taught me to expect. Every previous time Hector viewed a crime to track down suspects, we got all the details in realtime. Now it's all being skipped over.
>>> 
>>> I suspect that if the next chapter was to provide a lot of info about the crime and the perpetrators, that would retroactively fill in the gaps, but it feels weird to not have that info in this serial format given the way the story has been told up til now.

>>>> **u/None** [+2]  (16 hours later)
>>>> 
>>>> That's a fair concern. 
>>>> 
>>>> I'll have to think about this. I don't intend to always give full details of the crimes. I provided a similar summary for the second murder that Hector solved for Paris in Book 1, and my intent was to do the same... start cutting out details for stuff that didn't involve much out of the ordinary. 
>>>> 
>>>> But this is exactly the sort of feedback I'm looking for. If readers enjoy the detailed Views and the deep dives into Hector's investigations, I certainly find them fun and easy for me to write.
>>>> 
>>>> I'll keep tweaking things, so reader feedback is very valuable.

>>>>> **u/sparr** [+5]  (17 hours later)
>>>>> 
>>>>> > start cutting out details 
>>>>> 
>>>>> I think that's a great idea, and the crux of the concern here. I had forgotten about that other example in Book 1. Along with that, maybe a more gradual decrease in details would be more comfortable for me as a reader? It felt like we went from 100% to 0% in one go; making it two didn't even register, but if it tapered off over half a dozen, that might feel more natural.

>>>>>> **u/None** [+2]  (17 hours later)
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Thanks. I have much to think on.

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