4.3 KiB
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 Chapter 58 SD 04: Dragon in a Half-Shell
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Author: u/Zephyr1011 Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8096183/58/Harry-Potter-and-the-Natural-20
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Score: 18
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Created: 2014-08-09T14:37:37
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+6] (3 hours later)
I hope Milo gets back to the HP world soon, the fun of HPN20 was in the crossover. This is entertaining but a bit slow.
u/Prankster42 [+4] (9 hours later)
Presumably we'll see some interaction with Bellatrix soon. That could just be more of the same though, depending on how it plays out.
u/IX-103 [+3] (11 hours later)
I for one expect things to speed up again in the next chapter or two. With Milo and his party meeting Bellatrix, He-who-shall-not-be-named using Milo's body and powers (which already look like they will make Imperius look like a toy). With Snape as headmaster playing both sides; Hannah's inevitable clash with Hermione, Harry, and Ron over whether Milo is good or bad (complicated by the evil twin); and the entire thing degenerating to all out war where Hannah and co. are chased from safehouse to safehouse waiting for Milo's return to save the day; there is a lot of potential in the next few chapters.
That said, this chapter was particularly slow. I think it tried to tell too many different (too-short) stories. If the author feels like revising, I think all of these stories should be placed closer to their respective context. With two entirely different worlds, I not sure it makes sense dramatically to interleave their events to this degree. I spent most of each just trying to place it into the right context. Just pick a world and write a chapter just on what's happening there.
Also I'm a bit confused on how Harry & co. started thinking of Milo as a bad guy. Also, what happened to the rest of the year? Was there no interaction between them and Hannah (and why does Hermione have the rat instead of Hannah)? It feels like there is some missing exposition there.
u/Prankster42 [+2] (20 hours later)
I sort of assumed that the rat thing is supposed to be a sign that Hermione also sort of hangs on to the Milo they knew in some way, but you're right that it makes little sense.
As for why they suddenly think that Milo is a bad guy, it might have something to do with behind the scenes stuff Voldemort has done in Milos body, which wouldn't count as missing exposition.
u/MoralRelativity [+3] (5 days later)
I'm confused by
stuff Voldemort has done in Milos body
My reading was that Voldemort was already back in corporeal form (as his young self) when he tortured and then murdered Milo. So Milo's body isn't doing anything apart from decaying in the Chamber of Secrets.
Did I miss something? Do I need to go and re-read it?
u/Prankster42 [+2] (5 days later)
You don't need to reread anything. I'm thinking that Voldemort affected Milo subtly as in the case of him letting the deatheaters go. When putting the actions that may or may not be affected by Voldemort together you could end up with an evil Milo.
u/MoralRelativity [+2] (5 days later)
Oh, yes. I see that as pretty much definite. The way I read the original point was more along the lines of Voldie continuing to use Milo's body.
u/IX-103 [+2] (a day later)
Except that if Voldemort had done stuff in Milo's body they wouldn't have said that he just disappeared after the basilisk was killed. They would have at the very least mentioned "the weird stuff" he was doing since then.
u/Prankster42 [+2] (a day later)
I was thinking he did some stuff before then. He was obviously affected by it in several instances, even to the point of making defect magical items. I'm thinking he did stuff that was seemingly inconspicuous at the time but seems obviously stupid or evil in hindsight, thus leading to Hermiones conclusion and the debate about him. If he did overtly evil stuff they would have called him on it, but this way it would only be apparent in hindsight, and maybe somewhat shaky.