24 KiB
The Two Year Emperor, Chapter 57: "Deal with the Devil, This Time For Real!" is up
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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Score: 15
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Created: 2014-08-16T09:14:54
Post:
Comments:
u/Kodix [+3] (57 minutes later)
Using mindscrape to instantly fix our protagonist's little trauma felt like a bit of a copout, but eh. Just a tiny bit. It was getting annoying.
I wonder what the Ice Assafins were trying to do with the ritual, given that they're on the side of the fleshbags. Why would they need power over Herun, what would/will they do with it that fleshies wouldn't?
Anyway, neat chapter.
u/eaglejarl [+6] (2 hours later)
Using mindscrape to instantly fix our protagonist's little trauma felt like a bit of a copout, but eh. Just a tiny bit. It was getting annoying.
Wait for it....
u/MadScientist14159 [+2] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (12 hours later)
Yeah, I don't think anyone was fooled into thinking that Ice Afi didn't cause mental damage of some kind.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (15 hours later)
Heh. Would I do such a thing?
u/VorpalAuroch [+1] Life before Death (an hour later)
Not all the Ice Assassins are hiding from Afi. It's possible there are two groups of Assassins nearby.
u/Kodix [+2] (2 hours later)
The lich Loki brought with him was the leader of recently annihilated group, so the sacrificing assassins are clearly the "allies".
u/eaglejarl [+2] (19 seconds later)
Chapter's up. Enjoy.
u/Chronophilia [+2] sci-fi ≠ futurology (3 hours later)
Yay, I called part of it!
I was expecting them to take a bit longer to learn that Loki was working with Afi, but dramatic irony on that scale is hard to get right.
They have to apply the permanency before the bond wears off, right? It lasts 10 minutes per caster level, so... yeah it's probably gonna be up for a few days or something ridiculous like that. Still, the Gods will know about the Bond if they see Jake permanencing it, won't they?
The only workaround I can see is to try and slip the trigger words naturally into conversation. "We really need un-eavesdroppable communication with our soldiers in the field. How many Permanencio Telepathic Bonds can we rustle up?" Or just say it really quietly; if the scrying port is far away from Jake's mouth, they won't hear him if he whispers, right?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (17 hours later)
Yep, Permanency only works on spells that are active. That's a few hours in this case.
Both of your methods for doing the Permanency discreetly would work. Also, Loki gave them a couple suggestions for other methods.
u/TimeLoopedPowerGamer [+1] Utopian Smut Peddler (2 hours later)
Bad link for me, extra trailing "/"
u/eaglejarl [+1] (9 hours later)
Huh. What browser are you in? Worked fine for me in Firefox.
u/TimeLoopedPowerGamer [+1] Utopian Smut Peddler (10 hours later)
Chrome on Linux Mint. Looks like it is some combination of funky OS/browser choice and maybe NoScript. Silly, paranoid user strikes again.
If you want the ugly details, it seems the redirect wasn't firing off. So I am technically correct -- the best kind. Fine on Android. Just thought you should know ASAP, though it doesn't look like something to worry about overall if you haven't covered your browser in tinfoil.
Navigating around the site, I get:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9669819/57/The-Two-Year-Emperor
for that page. Which is yet another URI. With no trailing slash. And the story name tagged on. FFN is an odd bird.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (17 hours later)
Is there a way for me to edit the link on this item? I don't see one, but if there is I'll happily fix it.
u/TimeLoopedPowerGamer [+1] Utopian Smut Peddler (18 hours later)
Don't think so. Doesn't seem like a big deal, though. Most sane browsers seem to use the standard redirect. Wouldn't stress over it at all.
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (3 hours later)
Would the hourglass of permanency work on telepathic bonds?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (4 hours later)
Yup. :)
u/lsparrish [+1] (a day later)
Given the prospect of an unbreakable telepathic bond with this creature, I'd be trying to flip his alignment with a certain cursed piece of headgear ASAP. My guess is Thomas would at least want to try this. Could win him points with Shailos if it works. Especially if the rest of the remaining Ice Assassins (whose interests Herrún would be inclined towards) could be flipped as well.
I wonder how the commands to serve Original Afi's interests, etc. would interact with the alignment change? Would they be reinterpreted to be as Good as possible, or are they part of the alignment, such that they would be inverted?
Can Programmed Amnesia be used to alter Bone-Clone directives, as a headache cure etc? Seems a little too easy (I'd think Afi would have tried, using mindscrape to get rid of the kill-Afi bit if he could), but worth a thought.
Can promises not to kill Original Afi (subject to reasonable conditions) and help free him from avatar-ism, etc. be used to manipulate the Icefi's into highly advantageous things they wouldn't otherwise go for, like volunteering for an alignment flip? (Even with Afi being Evil himself, a Neutral Herrún sounds more in his interests to serve than Nekos, and Afissassins seem like they would be willing to put up with a lot to try and achieve that.)
Since opposite alignment is technically a curse, would Herrún's gratitude make her want to free the originally-Evil victims, or would she see it as good-for-them (as they see it, afterward)?
I'm also curious how Jake would be affected by Helm of Opposite Alignment... Evil deontologist? :-)
The Unreadable Library is so obviously up Herrún's alley that I could see it becoming her temple -- I figured chessmaster Loki did this on purpose, all the more to get on her good side (and serve his own amusement at the same time). The books are basically holy items for her right off the bat, being packed with secret information like that. On the other hand, the library also might be a good living space for the people, albeit a little cramped. Could work as both, especially if we decide to have millions of clerics. (There's no limit, right?) And Herrún should be able to manifest and do miracles there since it is her temple.
The book shelves are conveniently big enough for bunk beds. There is electricity. Since it's a library, I'm thinking there is air conditioning / humidity control as well. Tricks like the commoner railgun and the shops aren't magic, so they probably work inside. Can shops work for waste disposal?
I'm curious as to whether Improved Shrink Item would work on the altars without disrupting the ritual. Maybe connect them with beams and shrink as one object if the proportional distance is what matters.
Do shrunk items expand the moment they enter a magic-free zone? If so, the anti-magic spell might be kind of hazardous around shrunk items. If not, I wonder if the shrink spell can be canceled inside such a zone / undoing magic still works.
Compressed gas can certainly exist without magic, and can be created by magic easily, so if an air supply is needed in the library, it can be done. Hopefully, intelligent!Jake is up to the engineering needed for safety. Probably the hardest thing in the long run is security against accidental and deliberate bombs and other nonmagical threats that can wipe out a city. Divine protection from Herrún might help, since miracle (I guess, as long as it isn't "divine magic") isn't magical. Also, skills and stats can work without magic, so maybe we can have ultra-lucky/wise/prescient guards or something.
Can these books become magic items when a deity blesses them? Just being immune to magic doesn't mean they can't themselves be magical, right? So if Herrún wants the books to become holy armor or something (when used outside templebrarytown where magic is okay), she could change their nature to a magic one (assuming Loki isn't too insistent to the contrary -- I'm betting he won't want to let them be made stretchy/big/readable). An item that makes you insanely good at guessing knowledge or concealing information would be a good thing to try and get Herrún to create, domain-wise. (Maybe a concealment effect could get double bonus from Loki and Herrún, him being a deceiver.) Tome of Secrecy?
Oh, just thought of something kind of important. Isaac the wizard knows how to make antimatter. That should be wiped for safety ASAP. Hopefully the dark gods didn't read it off him.
Can we use PAO to make a condensed summary or larger print copy of the Loki books? Seems like that avoids using magic on the books, without making the PAO refer to arbitrarily generated information. (I'm guessing this is still in "paper containing the phylactery location" territory -- PAO cannot generate secret information. Or maybe it's an indirect use of magic on the books?)
Oh hey, what about using PAO to make a planet to teleport people to? For safety and Herrún favor points, put it on the opposite side of the sun so no one knows about it. Since e.g cities can't work with PAO, it could be a featureless world (big rock) at first, but magic could terraform it pretty fast.
Maybe consecrate the whole thing as a holy site to a Good deity, say Arros, and fill the oceans with holy water and such (cover it with holy symbols maybe) to prevent the undead from ever colonizing... Then get to work on universal resurrection, with opposite alignment curses ready for any evil people...
As always, thanks for a great story and endless munchkinly amusement :)
u/eaglejarl [+1] (6 days later)
Wow. It's really cool to see people putting this much thought in about something I wrote. Thank you..
Given the prospect of an unbreakable telepathic bond with this creature, I'd be trying to flip his alignment with a certain cursed piece of headgear ASAP. My guess is Thomas would at least want to try this. Could win him points with Shailos if it works. Especially if the rest of the remaining Ice Assassins (whose interests Herrún would be inclined towards) could be flipped as well.
Challenging, but it would certainly be nice if it could get done. Afi (and, by extension, Icefi) isn't as stupid and overconfident as Colborn, though -- trying to punch HIM out and put a helmet on him would be...unwise.
Can Programmed Amnesia be used to alter Bone-Clone directives, as a headache cure etc? Seems a little too easy (I'd think Afi would have tried, using mindscrape to get rid of the kill-Afi bit if he could), but worth a thought.
He would have, yes. Given that he's using it on himself, he would certainly have had no compunctions about using it on his minions.
Can promises not to kill Original Afi (subject to reasonable conditions) and help free him from avatar-ism, etc. be used to manipulate the Icefi's into highly advantageous things they wouldn't otherwise go for, like volunteering for an alignment flip? (Even with Afi being Evil himself, a Neutral Herrún sounds more in his interests to serve than Neklos, and Afissassins seem like they would be willing to put up with a lot to try and achieve that.)
In order for that to be a worthwhile bargaining chip, there would have to be a plausible scenario whereby Our Heroes could kill Afi. There currently isn't; the only one that might even possibly have worked (Jake's 'Take off and nuke em from orbit' plan) got sacrificed to Herrún so he can't think of it.
I'm also curious how Jake would be affected by Helm of Opposite Alignment... Evil deontologist? :-)
Heh. That would be a sight to see, wouldn't it?
No, Jake stands outside the alignment and XP system. He has no alignment, cannot earn XP, etc. This is why he can't be resurrected by normal means, and why he will never gain a character level.
The Unreadable Library is so obviously up Herrún's alley that I could see it becoming her temple -- I figured chessmaster Loki did this on purpose, all the more to get on her good side (and serve his own amusement at the same time). The books are basically holy items for her right off the bat, being packed with secret information like that. On the other hand, the library also might be a good living space for the people, albeit a little cramped. Could work as both, especially if we decide to have millions of clerics. (There's no limit, right?) And Herrún should be able to manifest and do miracles there since it is her temple.
The book shelves are conveniently big enough for bunk beds. There is electricity. Since it's a library, I'm thinking there is air conditioning / humidity control as well. Tricks like the commoner railgun and the shops aren't magic, so they probably work inside. Can shops work for waste disposal?
Huh, interesting thought about the bunk beds. I hadn't thought of that one -- thanks for the idea.
I'm curious as to whether Improved Shrink Item would work on the altars without disrupting the ritual. Maybe connect them with beams and shrink as one object if the proportional distance is what matters.
They don't know if it's literal or proportional distance, and they don't want to take a chance.
Do shrunk items expand the moment they enter a magic-free zone? If so, the anti-magic spell might be kind of hazardous around shrunk items. If not, I wonder if the shrink spell can be canceled inside such a zone / undoing magic still works.
Hm. Well, I will point out that Jake had a Shrink Item'd cannon sewed into his trenchcoat when they were fighting their way through the sea of undead. Shortly after he threw it, the Landguard put up antimagic. If Jake had had any other Shrink Item'd stuff in his coat, it didn't grow. Of course, it wasn't stated that he did have any other shrunken stuff....
Compressed gas can certainly exist without magic, and can be created by magic easily, so if an air supply is needed in the library, it can be done. Hopefully, intelligent!Jake is up to the engineering needed for safety. Probably the hardest thing in the long run is security against accidental and deliberate bombs and other nonmagical threats that can wipe out a city. Divine protection from Herrún might help, since miracle (I guess, as long as it isn't "divine magic") isn't magical. Also, skills and stats can work without magic, so maybe we can have ultra-lucky/wise/prescient guards or something.
The engineering for a self-contained airsupply for millions of people, plus the air scrubbers and recirculators that would be needed, is definitely beyond Jake's knowledgebase. That's some seriously hard-core engineering there.
Can these books become magic items when a deity blesses them?
Anything can become a magic item, or a fish or a poodle, if a god wants it to.
Just being immune to magic doesn't mean they can't themselves be magical, right?
True.
So if Herrún wants the books to become holy armor or something (when used outside templebrarytown where magic is okay), she could change their nature to a magic one (assuming Loki isn't too insistent to the contrary -- I'm betting he won't want to let them be made stretchy/big/readable). An item that makes you insanely good at guessing knowledge or concealing information would be a good thing to try and get Herrún to create, domain-wise. (Maybe a concealment effect could get double bonus from Loki and Herrún, him being a deceiver.) Tome of Secrecy?
Huh. Eeeeenteresting.
Oh, just thought of something kind of important. Isaac the wizard knows how to make antimatter. That should be wiped for safety ASAP. Hopefully the dark gods didn't read it off him.
Mwahaha. Things are SO much worse than that.... evil grin
Can we use PAO to make a condensed summary or larger print copy of the Loki books? Seems like that avoids using magic on the books, without making the PAO refer to arbitrarily generated information. (I'm guessing this is still in "paper containing the phylactery location" territory -- PAO cannot generate secret information. Or maybe it's an indirect use of magic on the books?)
Even if it could work (which I'm not addressing), Loki wouldn't allow it.
Oh hey, what about using PAO to make a planet to teleport people to? For safety and Herrún favor points, put it on the opposite side of the sun so no one knows about it. Since e.g cities can't work with PAO, it could be a featureless world (big rock) at first, but magic could terraform it pretty fast.
Heh, I can see it now: "Polymorph Any Object: Rotten banana to planet!"
Maybe consecrate the whole thing as a holy site to a Good deity, say Arros, and fill the oceans with holy water and such (cover it with holy symbols maybe) to prevent the undead from ever colonizing... Then get to work on universal resurrection, with opposite alignment curses ready for any evil people...
As always, thanks for a great story and endless munchkinly amusement :)
That's hilarious. I might just do an omake about that if my Muse will get her butt in gear. I'm traveling, it's been a long week, and she's been being really frickin' lazy these last few days. I keep saying "Hey, hey, wake up! We've got a chapter to drop tomorrow!" She keeps pulling the covers over her head and mumbling "Go 'way. Sleeping."
I'm setting up the espresso drip now.
u/Zungentod [+1] (5 days later)
Hullo,
I just read through the complete fanfic and took the subsequent liberty of adding a TVTropes page and some tropes. If you feel like it, adding tropes I didn't mention would be nice.
Cheerio!
u/eaglejarl [+2] (5 days later)
Woot! I've been hoping someone would add a TvTropes page! Makes me feel like I've hit the big time. :)
Thanks very much, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
EDIT: Ok, added some items.
u/Zungentod [+1] (6 days later)
1st rule of writers (and general culture producers) aware of TVT: do not enter your own works.
;)
u/eaglejarl [+1] (6 days later)
Yep, exactly why I didn't. (Also, don't ask someone else to do it for you.) Since I was explicitly asked though, I added a few tropes onto the page that someone else created.
u/Zungentod [+1] (6 days later)
I wasn't trying to deny that to you, just pointing out the good manners you showed.
Also, your addendum to the rule is valid, though common sense should theoretically prevent this, but since the story is essentially Loophole Abuse writ large… yeah :D
u/eaglejarl [+1] (6 days later)
laugh
Glad you agree. :)
EDIT: Oh, also, as regards the "don't ask someone else to do it for you" / "common sense should prevent that"...common sense is remarkably lacking in actually being common. :/
u/Zungentod [+1] (6 days later)
I've been wondering…
In the opening chapters you described that in Flobovia (still a stupid name) there are quite a many different sentient races.
People of what seemed like a hundred races went past, just going about their business. Many of them were races I was familiar with—elves, dwarves, halflings, some half-breeds—but many were completely unfamiliar; eight-foot bipedal scaly types with huge yellow snake eyes and four-inch talons on hands and feet, furry five-foot-high starfish creatures who were so shaggy it was hard to make out any details, two-torsoed centauroids, the torsoes facing in opposite directions but each with an excessively long, flexible neck that would allow them to turn to face each other, and dozens of other species.
But that was the first and last time, I think, you mentioned the diversity of population. Since they didn't seem to be on each other's throats all the time I assume the different kinds of people live intermingled or next door to each, with a fair bit of tolerance and respect for each other.
But your narration makes it seem as if Flobovia is a human saturated state, not a mention of other kinds of people in any position of power or public life whatsoever. That may be a case of Jake being an unreliable narrator, but, well… it seems odd. It could also be the case that positions of power are only for humans and all the other people are there for flavouring the Stupidworld.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
Yeah, this is something I haven't really gotten into -- too focused on other parts of the plot. Suffice to say, race relations in Flobovia are complicated. There's a bunch of history behind it but it hasn't been relevant to what was happening onscreen.
Part of the problem is that Jake has interacted with very few people, honestly, and most of them high officials. Flobovia still runs on a feudal structure, meaning there's relatively little turnover among the ruling families, and it's hard for newcomers to break into the upper ranks. Flobovia was originally founded by refugees from one part of southern Ainaalacar when it splintered apart during the last Zombocalypse. The refugees were led by a human; she needed to build a government quickly, and she needed people she trusted to fill the government slots. Predictably, she mostly chose family and close friends. As in the real world, most peoples' closest friends are members of their own race, meaning that the initial government of the fledging nation was primarily human.
Over the next few decades / centuries, plenty of other refugees showed up, of all races. They slotted into the society with greater or lesser degrees of comfort and many of them became significant members of society...but the top ranks were still almost entirely human.
And it's not just the officials themselves -- even many of their servants are hereditary positions that can trace their origins back to the founding of the nation. Remember that Suze grew up in the castle; she's actually related to most of the people who live there, including many of the nobles. (Making the whole "call the servant to your room" thing even squickier.)
There is no law against other races holding high office, but it just doesn't happen that much. It's something of a glass ceiling -- no one necessarily intends to do it, it just happens as a result of nearly invisible social conditioning and expectations.
I never said that Flobovia was perfect...or even a nice place.
u/gumballhassassin [+1] (7 days later)
I'm still waiting to find out what it was that Jake figured out back in Ch. 36
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
Albrecht made it look like he was using a Wish to transport them all home. Wish is the most powerful arcane spell there is, and it costs 5000 XP to cast. With such a high cost, using it for mere transportation is utterly wasteful -- it would be like take an Apache helicopter to travel a few blocks. The only reason you would do that would be if the cost was so small compared to your resources that you couldn't be bothered using something more efficient. In other words, it was a subtle demonstration of enormous power.
It was also a complete scam. He didn't actually use a Wish -- they had a Teleportation Circle prepared and, when he pretended to cast the Wish, everyone simply stepped backwards into the Circle, thereby being transported back to base. Teleportation Circle is a dismissible spell so, once they were at their destination, the wizard who created the Circle turned it off so that no Flobovians would accidentally wander into it and give the game away. What Jake found in the cobblestones was the powdered amber that is the material component of the spell.
Apparently that was not as clear as I had thought. Sorry about that.
u/gumballhassassin [+1] (7 days later)
Ah right. I'm still new to dnd so maybe it's clear and I just didn't pick up on it. GREAT story by the way!
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
Well, not all of my readers are D&D players, so if it wasn't clear to you then it wasn't clear to other people. Let me see if there's a clean way to work it into the story; if not, I'll post an author's note about it.