25 KiB
The Two Year Emperor, Ch64 - Scheduling an Audience
-
Author: u/eaglejarl *
-
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9669819/64/The-Two-Year-Emperor
-
Score: 22
-
Created: 2014-10-05T03:54:33
Post:
Comments:
u/alexanderwales [+6] Time flies like an arrow (an hour later)
The teleport marbles have a pretty terrible flaw, even if they work exactly how they're described - a single untrustworthy member of your group could teleport everyone away. Hell, a single untrustworthy enemy with access to a marble could teleport everyone away. I am fairly certain that you wouldn't even get a saving throw, depending on how the wording of Teleport is applied to the magic item.
I don't know whether this flaw is intentional, but I suspect that it is.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 hours later)
It's true, that could be an issue. Mostly though, it's a question of priorities. Suze was optimizing for "will let everyone escape very quickly as long as anyone can still act" and not so much for "secure".
Also, note that she oversimplified the functionality slightly -- when you drop a marble, you are included in the teleport even though you aren't personally touching it anymore. I wondered if I should call that out, but decided it was too fussy to spend screen time on.
u/ignirtoq [+1] (14 hours later)
I was wondering about that, but a simple, if expensive, solution is just to give everyone two marbles.
u/failed_novelty [+6] (14 hours later)
Jake's smart, but he has had a massive failure here.
"I am imagining a magical item called the Block of Power. A Block of Power is a three foot by two foot by two foot block of magically invulnerable adamantine that magically weighs no more than fifteen pounds. Along one of the thin ends of the Block of Power there is an adamantine handle to facilitate the carrying of the Block. Upon the speaking of a command word, the block will magically adhere to a single flat, continuous, nonliving, hard surface against which it is placed firmly. It will remain magically stuck to this surface as if held there by sovereign glue. Another command word will release this hold. Neither the affix nor release command word will function unless the handle is firmly held by the one who speaks it. Another command word will activate the Block of Power, causing it to begin producing electrical current that meets the following criteria: [insert appropriate wattage, amperage, and direct/alternating current type]. This power is not transmitted to the surface of the Block of Power, which always remains magically at 71 degrees Fahrenheit. When the command word for power generation is spoken, an otherwise inaccessible compartment opens on the face of the Block opposite the adhered face. When a humanoid reaches a hand into this opening, which is always 1.5' diameter they are able to safely retrieve the female end of a well-insulated power cable of up to 200' that terminates in a standard female outlet socket that is insulated properly to prevent someone touching it from being shocked."
Seriously, with Jake's intellect he should be able to create a magical power generator that could power a completely nonmagical device that can read those books. If he phrases it correctly, he could have that device send the output out of the antimagic field. Then shennanigans can happen.
Off of the top of my head, a magical device that 'reads' the output of one or more microscopes and writes that output into nonmagical books (or even a single magical book). Even better, it reads them into a single magical book that has an improved version of Scholar's Touch that'll transmit the contents safely to the brain of someone touching it and speaking a command word.
Jake. Has. Free. Wishes. He also has a template for creating items with arbitrary spells, or that can cast arbitrary spells, EVEN IF THOSE SPELLS DON'T EXIST. I really don't get why he looked at the room full of all the information he needs and gave up. He hasn't even tried.
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (15 hours later)
I thought that part of the issue with the books was that there was far too much text to read. This wouldn't solve that. Although I am unsure if this is because there is not much text per book or Loki is just being incredibly loquacious.
u/failed_novelty [+3] (15 hours later)
The room is permanantly antimagic, and the books can't have magic done.
That's not a major impediment to using magic to acquire the knowledge within, it just makes it harder. "I'm envisioning a robot with eyes that function as electron microscopes capable of reading the text within the books Loki gave me, contained within that library. This robot moves fast enough to read an entire one of those books within one minute and has enough storage capacity to retain the text of one hundred of those books. It can transmit the data using..."
Wish can create nonmagical items too, and there's a hell of a lot of ways to scan text quickly.
All Jake needs is some easily-describable near-future tech (which he can get via Wish) and a fast, high-capacity printer/binder. Once you have the text taken from the books, it can be interacted with using magic...and then everything is broken and Jake can have all that delicious knowledge.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
There's a spell, Scholar's Touch, which lets you read a book in one round, just by touch it. Best of all, it lasts for faster level rounds, so you can read a whole bunch of books.
u/GeneralSCPatton [+5] (54 minutes later)
He was drinking Pinot, but he's got that whole anti-alcohol thing. Also, I've got this weird feeling that Suze is more than she appears and the free pass on magic items has been used for some other purpose. Maybe she's that destroyed lich we just learned about. Her precautions went a little further than Afi could deal with, and now she's laying low with the resistance, waiting for the right opportunity.
u/iamzeph [+3] (12 hours later)
Re. Suze, there was a clue early on in the story where someone commented on her having an accent they couldn't quite place. Ever since then, I've been paying attention to what she's doing, though tbh I can't think of more than a handful of ideas (like yours) for who or what she really is. If you use meta-knowledge, major characters in a story tend to serve a purpose to drive the plot, and we have yet to find out what hers is other than super-secretary.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (13 hours later)
Olivia was the one who had the unusual accent. She was one of the Landguard brought in to protect Jake after Alpha Squad were all killed; she got turned into a wraith back in chapter 38.
u/iamzeph [+1] (14 hours later)
Ahh you're right. It must have been something else - and something much earlier - to tip me off.
u/failed_novelty [+3] (13 hours later)
I don't think that's hugely likely.
As Allison explained to Jake, servants in Flobovia were (de facto, if not de jure) at their master's beck and call for any number of 'services'. Sure, "Suze-As-Lich-Queen" could be a possibility. But that would imply that a Lich Queen would be able to bury her own ego and live as a mortal human girl, serving others, for a long period.
Instead, "Not-Quite-Dead-Lich-Queen" could easily have lived as a commoner - or even a skilled craftsman or displaced foreign noble. If access to the leadership was desired, I'm sure there's a dozen ways to do it that wouldn't require NQDLQ to pose as a servant.
Sure, "Suze-As-Lich-Queen" wouldn't have to actually submit to serving a master in any unpleasant ways (she could always Mindscrape the desire away or false memories of it in) but she would have to live with the fact that everyone she meets expects her to do so.
For a typical medieval commoner, raised to believe that this is just how the world works? It's absolutely survivable and most likely prefereable to a life of hardscrabble farming or working as a common laborer. For a Lich Queen used to commanding, and able to rewrite parts of reality with a tiny bit of effort and a few carefully-chosen words? It would be intolerable.
This isn't absolute evidence that Suze can't be a Lich Queen, but it's pretty strong evidence against that possibility. Any conceivable goal that could be accomplished by a Lich Queen being Suze (whether that's by replacing an existing Suze or - more likely - by always having been Suze) could be better achieved by another hypothetical person that wouldn't have the socio-economic issues that a Lich Queen would find so grating.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (a day later)
Geez. I go to all this trouble to set up foreshadowed-yet-unexpected twists, and then people start throwing out all these crazy theories which might or might not be true. It makes an author want to write cryptic and ambiguous posts that confuse the issue even more. ;)
u/eaglejarl [+2] (an hour later)
He was drinking Pinot, but he's got that whole anti-alcohol thing.
Malbec, actually. ;)
Yeah, that was a complete brain cramp on my part. It's fixed.
As to Suze...mwahahaha.
u/failed_novelty [+1] (13 hours later)
Darn, I'd been assuming this was more evidence towards others using Jake's head as their personal playground.
u/Prezombie [+5] (11 hours later)
Is it really a good idea to put the books in the ritual fires?
Even assuming they'll be forever useless, i think that there's a reasonable chance that burning the books will have a negative result.
Because burning a million books full of secrets given to you by Loki in fires feeding a nascent goddess just seems like you're not only holding an idiot ball, you're standing on it while trying to juggle chainsaws.
Those books are pretty good artifacts. Why not have some bookbinders unbind the pages, and have tailors sew the paper into anti-magic armor for the army?
u/failed_novelty [+1] (13 hours later)
Burning the books does not destroy the knowledge, instead it makes that knowledge an irrevocable part of the goddess.
If destroying your knowledge of a secret (or of knowledge) was an affront to her, nothing in the ritual would work.
u/Bowbreaker [+2] Solitary Locust (21 hours later)
According to Loki whoever burns a piece of knowledge also irrevocably loses it. Whoever says the actual prayer and throws in the books may well become a mindless being.
u/iaido22 [+1] (3 days later)
Then use an Ice Assassin?
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (14 hours later)
It's knowledge Loki, a god, already has, so I doubt Herrun getting it will matter much. Nice about anti-magic armor, but surely they can mass produce that with Gnomes
u/Chronophilia [+1] sci-fi ≠ futurology (2 days later)
Gods make the best gear, though.
u/Chronophilia [+1] sci-fi ≠ futurology (2 days later)
Sure, but it's that or live with Herrun being Evil and probably on Neklos' side in the great war. If they had another way to solve that issue, the books could be put to a different use.
As it is, when you need a massive number of secrets in a hurry, there's really no better candidate than Loki's Library.
u/JackStargazer [+3] Primordial Apologist (26 minutes later)
I can't believe I forgot about Chekov's Library.
Well, that's certainly a thing.
u/randallsquared [+3] (an hour later)
more charasmatic that JFK
Not sure if this is an appropriate place for mere spellcheck. :)
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 hours later)
Thanks, fixed!
And yes, this is a great place for spellcheck. No matter how many times I edit, when I go back a few days / weeks later, I always find more errors. :/ The chapters which have to be finalized on Saturday (such as this week's and last week's) tend to be a bit worse about that, obviously.
u/Zephyr1011 [+3] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (9 hours later)
So, Jake is giving up on getting the information out of those books? Also, who is going to be at the end of the railgun? They could end up forgetting a lot, depending on what information is in those books. Given that Jake's sacrifice meant he forgot about the idea of scrying other planets altogether, they may not even be able to function after. Getting an Ice Assassin to do it seems a good idea.
Wait, would it even work to get someone to sacrifice the books when they don't know what's in them? All other sacrifices we've seen had the person write the thing down and sacrifice it, not sacrifice something someone else wrote down. Actually, might the person who wrote it down lose the knowledge lose it in that case? I can see this annoying Loki significantly.
Why is Jake concerned about the others discovering that he enhanced his intelligence? I can't see any reason that they'd care. He's already told them about him having jewels which can cast Wish.
Loki's mention of Expeditious Retreat seems significant, by the Law of Conservation of Detail, but I can't really see why. Neklos' land speed increasing by 30 doesn't seem particularly useful, unless he can stack it or something. And it doesn't do anything about dying.
Jake's plan remains mysterious. It clearly involves doing something to Neklos, rather than just talking, since he needs reinforcements and is worried by Neklos getting an action. But you almost explicitly said in last week's thread that Jake does not plan on killing him, and there was the issue raised about Neklos being able to foresee death. Could Jake Mindscrape Neklos? Does Mindscrape even work on a god? And since they have promised not to harm Melvin, and Neklos will be manifesting through Melvin, I don't think they can attack Neklos. The only use I can think of for the reinforcements would be to cast millions of spells at Neklos until he fails to save on at least one of them, but what spell would be useful?
Icefi's trust in Thomas' word seems strangely not paranoid. He knows that Mindscrape exists, the Landguard has access to it and the Landguard are extremely pragmatic. They would definitely use it on their leader if it let them kill Melvin, let alone Neklos.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (13 hours later)
Why is Jake concerned about the others discovering that he enhanced his intelligence?
He originally concealed from them the fact that he Wished his intelligence higher. Now that he's no longer psycho he doesn't feel that he needs to have an edge to help him with his plan to kill everyone, but he isn't comfortable admitting to having hidden it from them. This gives him a simple out.
As to the rest -- these are great questions, but I can't answer them without spoilers so I will leave the answers to your fertile imagination.
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (14 hours later)
If a question wasn't plot relevant, would you answer it? Like, if a plan wouldn't work and I asked if it would work, would you say so?
u/Jello_Raptor [+1] The Last Tool User (18 hours later)
Answering that would make many more of his future answers plot-relevant, so ...
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (a day later)
It was worth a try
u/philip1201 [+2] (15 hours later)
Does Mindscrape even work on a god?
Does polymorph yadda yadda work on a god? If so, that ain't a problem anymore, per Icefi's demonstrated ability to circumvent type limitations.
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (15 hours later)
The PAO trick only works because undead are immune to mind-affecting spells, but cease to be when Polymorphed. If a God is immune to that kind of spell, I think that they may retain that when Polymorphed, if it is a result of being a god rather than their form. What form does a god even have, anyway?
u/failed_novelty [+1] (15 hours later)
They typically just appear in somewhat less divine avatars. These are essentially minor godlings with a massive amount of power. I'd venture to guess that they're similar to Fragment.
u/aeschenkarnos [+2] (6 hours later)
Has Suze been through the FLEA and the POPE?
u/drageuth2 [+2] (7 hours later)
I -really- like the way you handled Jake finally getting his wis and cha upgrades. It hasn't really changed him directly, it's just made him pass all his saves. Now people are kinda forced to go along with even his stupid ideas, and have a reduced ability to debate and improve them.
If anything, that's gonna get him in more trouble! Wonderful :)
u/eaglejarl [+2] (13 hours later)
Thank you. :)
I wrote that section very carefully; I'm glad you enjoyed it.
u/Zephyr1011 [+2] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (14 hours later)
If Jake had gotten his INT enhancement from POPEs, would it have had the same effect as when he got it from the Ring of Game Breaking?
u/drageuth2 [+1] (17 hours later)
I'd guess not, since POPEs explicitely don't effect personality. He'd just have more wonderful ideas and answers to questions popping in his head seemingly out of nowhere. Likewise, if he wished up a codpiece of wisdom +5, it'd probably make him talk like a kung-fu master in a 90's karate movie or something.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
To be precise, they do affect your personality, it's just that there's no specific sensation associated with getting the enhancement. You don't feel a rush of strength or whatever.
u/drageuth2 [+1] (a day later)
So the POPE would figure out the optimal thought-arrangement process and he'd just end up like he is now without the headbanging? Or would he just have a magic 'get ideas' button in his head that worked without him noticing?
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
There would be no explicit feeling of the enhancement. Other effects would remain he same so, yes, headbanging.
u/drageuth2 [+1] (a day later)
Huh. I guess it's just his luck that INT is the only one that gives a blowback that strong for him, and he isn't forced to talk like Mr. Miagi.
...
Yet.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
Mwahaha. ;)
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a minute later)
Another late drop, as I've been traveling all week. Still up on Saturday, though. And there's no more traveling in the immediate future, so future chapters should start coming earlier in the day.
u/Sceptically [+1] (2 hours later)
Hmm. I was under the impression that the books couldn't be removed from the library.
Which, upon re-reading the appropriate section of chapter fifty-five seems to have been an unwarranted assumption on my part.
u/Bowbreaker [+1] Solitary Locust (20 hours later)
Loki said that one can destroy known knowledge and what it would do is that you won't just forget it, but also be unable to understand any of it at any time in the future. This was proven to be true when Loki talked about his double agent stuff after the Emperor burnt that knowledge away. He only saw gibberish. Wouldn't that mean that whoever is the one to say the prayer and throw the books into the fire will be forever barred from knowing whatever knowledge, mystical or mundane, is in all these text books? From things like all the useful secrets about gods that they figured out on their own afterwards to whatever else Loki filled the library with. Who knows, maybe in there there is a dissertation on basic magic or the mechanics of putting food in to your mouth. Honestly, burning it sounds like the most stupid idea ever.
u/JosephLeee [+1] (21 hours later)
They could probably get an NPC to do it. Also, if they don't know what exactly they are destroying, does it even count?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (22 hours later)
Loki did briefly mention that Herrún could give the knowledge back to you, so that goes some ways to defanging the issue.
u/failed_novelty [+2] (22 hours later)
Wait...so whomever sacrafices the books will never be able to understand the secrets they contained.
So if you take a person X and have him perform the sacrifice, can't you then regain the knowledge by simply writing down a list of things you suspect it said and having him identify the lines he can't read?
It seems like a (really destructive, potentially lossy) way to test the books for known unknowns, but also like a really great way to lose the opportunity to learn things you don't know you don't know. Sorta like Indiana Jones destroying a priceless archaeological site, full of complex engineering of amazing resilience, to steal a tacky paperweight.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Correct. Whomever's secrets are sacrificed can't understand them in the future. (Well, unless Herrún is nice enough to give them the knowledge back, but she is the goddess of secrets and wouldn't usually do that.)
So, yes, you could do the "what can't you read?" test and it would work.
Sorta like Indiana Jones destroying a priceless archaeological site, full of complex engineering of amazing resilience, to steal a tacky paperweight.
snicker Excellent point.
u/Bowbreaker [+1] Solitary Locust (a day later)
Only makes sense if it costs her the appropriate amount of power for going against her nature. Else one could just sacrifice all ones knowledge and secrets and she'd reward it right back for the good service.
u/Zephyr1011 [+1] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (3 days later)
Make an Ice Assassin, have them do it
u/nerdguy1138 [+1] GNU Terry Pratchett (a day later)
Can't believe I just thought of this. Are people aware of their own stats? Like, numerically?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
They haven't told me one way or the other. I know they know their level, but I don't know about the rest of it. I don't think so.
u/alexanderwales [+1] Time flies like an arrow (2 days later)
For spellcasters at least, it would be pretty easy to test based on spells per day so long as they know their own level. In theory, they can also take 10 on a variety of skill checks (since they do know their own skill ranks and could calculate from there), but maybe that only applies to PCs.
u/failed_novelty [+1] (5 days later)
Everyone, even commoners, has skill ranks. It's just that the average commoner, until they interact with a PC is so completely uninteresting that their skill ranks are in a quantum state of bonus.
And some things, like strength, would be really easy to test. Strength determines carrying capacity, so if you know the moment you move from a light to a medium load you can determine your exact strength.
If TYE-verse works like some campaigns I've seen, where everyone gets max HP at first level, it would be easy (albeit painful) to calculate your CON - simply allow yourself to be struck by a shruiken (flat 1 damage, plus STR bonus) until you reach 0 hp. This can calculate your CON bonus, getting you within 1 point of your true CON.
WIS can be determined (roughly) almost as easily: tell someone how you're going to test their CON. If they agree to be tested, their WIS is below-average.
u/historymaking101 [+1] (a day later)
Dumping the library seems really really, ridiculously stupid. It contains all of the knowledge he seeks on everything he has deemed important in that conversation, it includes things he has figured out later. If he dumps it in the sacrifice pile, he'll lose gained knowledge,and he WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEARN ANY OF IT.
This seems by far, his stupidest idea ever.
u/ulyssessword [+1] (2 days later)
It contains all of the knowledge he seeks on everything he has deemed important in that conversation, it includes things he has figured out later.
So does Pi. Information is only useful if it is separated from useless text.
He can get a minion to dump the books to avoid any possible backlash.
u/TimTravel [+1] (3 days later)
That's an unproven claim about tau/2.
u/historymaking101 [+1] (3 days later)
sure, if you read it that it is the person dumping the knowledge and not the person actually sacrificing it that loses the knowledge.