scrape_r_rational/data/cache2/2moje0.md

[RT] Chapter 14 of Lighting Up the Dark, a rational Naruto fanfic

• Author: u/Velorien *

• URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9311012/15/Lighting-Up-the-Dark

• Score: 28

• Created: 2014-11-18T17:26:52

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u/Traiden04 [+12] (an hour later)

I really like how this chapter shows how far Naruto still has to go compared to the adult ninjas.

u/None [+8] (5 hours later)

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u/None [+2] (a day later)

It's the whole "Frodo + lightsaber = Sauron + Death Star" deal. Otherwise it isn't any fun.

u/AmeteurOpinions [+3] Finally, everyone was working together. (a day later)

You know what? HPMOR spawned a lot of spin-offs, but this is the only one which actually rivals it.

u/Tholo [+8] (2 hours later)

Huyga makes a great Dread Pirate Roberts. "Good work Naruto. You can date my daughter. I'll probably kill you next time."

u/Pencil-Monkey [+9] (6 days later)

Rational!Naruto/Princess Bride:

• Chouji Akimichi (heck, any of the Akimichis) dressed up in a fire-retardant cloak and doused with burning oil, hurtling through the Hyuga compound on a trolley, screaming "I AM THE DREAD JONIN ROBURETSU!" to provide a diversion while Naruto is busy sneaking into Hinata's room.

• "You see, there's two kinds of dead," said Tsunade, poking at Sasuke's limp body with an accusing digit; the supine genin was covered in the intricate whorls and marking of Orochimaru's Curse Seal, and still as a corpse. "This guy here? He's only mostly dead."

"I learned this jutsu from Pervert-Sensei", Naruto said and slapped the ground with the flat of his palm.

"Katon: Fire Swamp of the Underworld!" Spreading around his hand like ripples in water, the wave of chakra mutated the surroundings as it passed, turning the training ground into marshland, with gouts of flame intermittently bursting from the mire.

"Just watch out for the T.O.U.S."

"T-T.O.U.S.?" stammered Hinata. She almost jumped out of her skin when the towering form of Gamabunta leaned down from behind and whispered in her ear (although his voice was still loud and booming enough to carry halfway across Konoha).

"TOADS OF UNUSUAL SIZE."

u/None [+2] (6 days later)

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u/Pencil-Monkey [+6] (6 days later)

Maybe because the subreddit is waiting with baited breath for you to become inspired by this silly notion, and start a new rationalist fanfic, this time with miso ramen crossover flavor? :-)

• "Hn. My name is Sasuke Uchiha. You killed my father. And my mother. And my aunts. And my cousins, twice removed. And my... Well, everyone, really. Hn. Prepare to die."

PS: Remember how Peter Falk seemed like a natural, playing the snarky granddad who's reading the Princess Bride story to the little kid in the movie? The same Peter Falk who played Columbo? The same Peter Falk who had a glass eye, i.e. only one regular eye?

Can't you just imagine Kakashi as the laconic granddad, reading the story of the Kunoichi Bride to an excitable Konohamaru?

u/None [+2] (6 days later)

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u/Pencil-Monkey [+1] (7 days later)

Inconceivable!

u/Tholo [+2] (6 days later)

• My name is Uchiha Sasuke. You killed our family. Prepare to die.

• You committed the classic blunder! The most famous of which is never come between an Akimichi and a Donut, but only slightly less well known is never go in against Orochimaru when death is on the line! [Dies... Instantly Regenerates]

u/AmeteurOpinions [+7] Finally, everyone was working together. (50 minutes later)

IT'S BACK

u/gabbalis [+5] (5 hours later)

I am expiriencing an overwhelming update euphoria.

u/Magish511 [+7] (an hour later)

You know, when I originally heard that someone was making this based off of that omake, I was pretty skeptical of the quality... and then I got to reading it, and it immediately went on my watch list.

And now you release another chapter, and you're making me wish I could add it again, harder. Loving how it's turning out, can't wait for more!

u/Sophronius [+7] The Need to Become Stronger (a day later)

Great to see another chapter!

I hate to be the guy who gives only negative feedback, but I have to quibble about rational!naruto's rationality. Why on earth does he go to the Hyuga compound in person if he genuinely thinks that Hiashi might kill him? There is literally no advantage to showing up as a clone and then being there in person anyway, unless Naruto is oath bound to obey Hiashi's demands somehow. Remember Yudkowsky's advice on how to write intelligent characters. Ask yourself what you would do in Naruto's situation: Would you show up in person if you could send a clone? Of course not.

I will also add in some of my own rules on writing rationalist fiction:

1. The greatest power of rationality is not to achieve a desired result in a clever manner, but to decide what should be done in the first place.
2. If a character gets in a "I almost died there" situation without massively rethinking everything they did to get to that point, they are not acting rationally.

I get that you are aiming more for humour than realism here, but it makes it difficult for me to think of Naruto as rational when his actions are so plainly driven by the needs of the plot. If you want to fix this it is easy to just say that Naruto HAD to show up in person because his shadow clones have a maximum range, or something.

BTW: If Hiashi could identify the original with his byakugan (otherwise the shell game wouldn't be necessary), how come he doesn't see right away that the first naruto was a clone?

u/None [+3] (a day later)

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u/Sophronius [+6] The Need to Become Stronger (a day later)

Thanks for the answer. My point was that Naruto has 3 options:

1. Show up in person
2. Show up as a clone
3. Show up as a wristband attached to a clone

Naruto has two concerns here: Not alienating the Hyuga, and surviving. Surviving is better accomplished by being a clone. The Hyuga are alienated if they find out that Naruto is a clone, but the only way they can notice that is if they attack Naruto, in which case it is still preferable to be a clone since he prefers surviving over playing by the rules (I assume). Therefore, option 3 may well be better than option 1, but option 3 is pareto-dominated by option 2. Rational!Naruto should realize this, or at least facepalm about it afterwards. It is especially noticeable to me because I just finished writing about Naruto almost making this exact mistake in my own rational!Naruto fanfic.

Btw, the sharingan only had the ability to identify clones in the anime filler (valley of the end fight), except madara who says he could identify wood clones with his eternal mangekyo I think. It was stated during the chunin exams that the Byakugan has better insight than the sharingan in every way, so it only makes sense that the sharingan would not be able to identify clones either.

u/JosephLeee [+1] (3 days later)

Or maybe the "real" Naruto isn't actually Naruto at all, just another clone, and the real Naruto is actually back at his apartment, sleeping. The real Naruto probably gave the "real" Naruto clone half of the Chakra or something, so that he could still fight.

u/MadScientist14159 [+3] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (7 hours later)

So wait why did Naruto think Hiashi was made of marble?

Flesh and marble look really different.

u/None [+4] (17 hours later)

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u/MadScientist14159 [+2] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (20 hours later)

Okay, but what about his hair? Hiashi's hair is dark brown, not white.

u/Traiden04 [+1] (21 hours later)

It could be he was wearing a hat that hid his hair, as part of the outfit for a tea ceremony.

u/None [+1] (a day later)

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u/Pencil-Monkey [+1] (6 days later)

Konoha might have a tradition of painting their expensive marble statues for decorative purposes (hey, scientists discovered that the ancient Greeks and Roman did it, so why not the faux-Japanese?), or perhaps he thought the statue's hair was made of obsidian, or jet, or some other inlay of dark precious material.

u/abcd_z [+3] (11 hours later)

Just FYI, the link on FF.net doesn't work; you can't copy text from any story on ff.net. At least, not easily.

Your best best would be to either say, "it's on /r/rational" or "the link is in my profile", since author profiles allow outgoing URLs.

u/None [+2] (6 days later)

[removed]

u/None [+1] (2 months later)

The upvote/downvote counts actually lie to you. It's a bit of a thing put in place by the website code to make people who are shadow banned think they are still being voted on, to make as much time as possible pass before they just make a new account. The only part of the post/comment voting system that doesn't lie is karma count.

By the way, loved the story. Excited to see more.

u/Subrosian_Smithy [+1] Nudist Beach (2 months later)

Shit, Rational!Danzo is terrifying. I don't even want to think about Canon Naruto Spoiler

u/masterax2000 [+1] Chaos Legion (3 months later)

So... Care to give us another update on the status of the next chapter?

u/None [+1] (3 months later)

[removed]

u/masterax2000 [+1] Chaos Legion (3 months later)

Alright, thank you for responding.

u/herrDoktorat [+1] (4 months later)

Your work is amazing and I am fervently looking forward for more. Please remember even as you hone your skills that you simply can't best the power of a collective intelligence, especially one looking for solutions to events that you have already written, with the added benefit of hindsight. That being said, I wish you the best of luck.

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