15 KiB
[FF][RST] The Waves Arisen [Ch.11]
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Author: u/Wertifloke *
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URL: https://wertifloke.wordpress.com/2015/02/04/the-waves-arisen-chapter-11/
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Score: 26
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Created: 2015-02-05T01:03:59
Post:
Comments:
u/scruiser [+10] CYOA (29 minutes later)
I am getting that feeling I had when I read A Song of Ice and Fire, where I literally wonder every chapter who is going to die off next. Naruto left Hinata alone with Sai... Lee still back at Leaf...
Great job playing up Pein as a dark Naruto. You chose the perfect time to introduce him and his basic motivations as similar to Naruto's.
Danzo seems like a obvious culprit for the assassination, from canon we know he has the motives and means. We also know about Orochimaru from canon. Perhaps they colluded directly or indirectly.
Congratulations, you've gotten me to the point where I genuinely believe any character might die at any time. I would remind you to be careful of darkness induced audience apathy (to use the TvTropes terminology), but you've already written the draft and are just editing as you post apparently so I will just hope for the best.
u/kaukamieli [+4] (44 minutes later)
Naruto left Hinata alone with Sai...
NOOOOO!
u/scruiser [+2] CYOA (51 minutes later)
Hey, its not guaranteed that Sai will take it as his opportunity to strike. Sure Hinata is alone and he thinks Naruto and Sasuke are tired from sparing each other, but maybe he will wait for another opportunity. And killing Hinata, she is a fan favorite, the author can't just kill her after giving her so much character development. /s
Oh crap, I wasn't sure it was going to happen before, but now I've convinced myself. My only hope is that Hinata figured out something was wrong and manages to take out the ANBU guy herself.
u/kaukamieli [+2] (56 minutes later)
Let's hope that Danzo is actually a good guy and everything was done by someone else!
Naruto is obviously going to communicate stuff with Sasuke. Sparring also gives him opportunity to use Byakugan to see what's happening, so he can keep an eye on Hinata too.
u/scruiser [+1] CYOA (2 hours later)
Naruto is obviously going to communicate stuff with Sasuke.
Sai can sense through his chakra bugs, if he can hear through them too (and Naruto has no way of know he can't), then Naruto is going to need to come up with some hidden communication with Sasuke.
How is he ever going to think of something in time? Oh wait, shadow clones.
u/FeepingCreature [+2] GCV Literally The Entire Culture (10 hours later)
"Accidentally" hit the bug with a technique.
u/scruiser [+3] CYOA (15 hours later)
If one of us thought about it, thinking about it casually, then maybe one of Naruto's dozens of clones can think of it. The second the bug is down, Naruto can tell Sasuke and then they can immediately come up with a plan to draw Sai or test if he really is sent to kill them.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (18 hours later)
Isn't it just smarter to "fight" with barriers cuz they block sound and vision when stacked?
u/kaukamieli [+1] (11 hours later)
Duh. Multiple barriers.
u/Izeinwinter [+1] (7 hours later)
.. So Sai is going to rest in pieces? Because the two of them coming back and discovering that Sai made a move only to discover Hinata turned that water technique into a water knife would be funny. And in theme. And as an extra bonus, land them in trouble.
u/kaukamieli [+3] (8 hours later)
Well, I'm totally seeing the trio get disillusioned with their village and go full traitor, maybe go talk to couple of sannins about the situation too.
u/Stop_Sign [+1] (3 hours later)
Naruto wouldn't be far enough away that his byakugan couldn't cover her /Sai
u/kaukamieli [+4] (29 minutes later)
I've just read half of the chapter and I'm not believing what I'm reading. Dude. I'm upset.
u/smilesbot [+5] (30 minutes later)
Aww, cheer up! I hope you feel better. :)
u/kaukamieli [+3] (53 minutes later)
Nope. It got so dark... :(
u/Jello_Raptor [+2] The Last Tool User (an hour later)
bahaha, this is wonderfully inappropriate.
u/4t0m [+3] Chaos Legion (27 minutes later)
I'm really enjoying this story.
affect a change
effect (I promise)
you haven’t got a change against your brother.
chance
u/Wertifloke [+1] (31 minutes later)
Thanks.
u/VorpalAuroch [+2] Life before Death (2 hours later)
This is really interesting.
u/okaycat [+2] (3 hours later)
Wow you basically destroyed the canon plot. Talking about going off the roles. This Danzo seems to much more competent then his canon equivalent, he doesn't sound like a fascist sociopathic warmonger.
By the way, I don't think that Kakashi is dead yet. Maybe he's being tortured by Danzo in some dungoen somewhere but not dead.
Sai is definetly planning on killing Hinata. Hope she lives.
u/Nevereatcars [+4] The Greatest Is Behind (4 hours later)
I felt the same way about Kakashi at first. Protagonists can't die offscreen, dying of food poisoning is pretty anticlimactic, he'll probably come back later and be all "Nah. I was just testing you."
But then I remembered that 2 chapters ago Hinata CRUSHED NEJI TO DEATH, and I decided he was probably gone.
u/okaycat [+2] (4 hours later)
That's true. I keep forgetting that the auther is writing a rationalist fanfic, one without any plot armor. Sort of like a more a more rational ASOIF. It would be funny if Naruto ended up dying and his cause was taken up by Lee who was the true protagonist all along.
I can't wait for more.
u/kaukamieli [+3] (7 hours later)
I've been thinking of writing a story with this kind of element. The prophecied hero dies, everything gets fucked and some people has to actually do something smart instead of rushing forward thinking the prophecy protects them.
u/Nevereatcars [+2] The Greatest Is Behind (22 hours later)
Immediately rushed to my mental index to give you a pithy "You mean like in X?" and came up blank. Currently lacking access to my physical bookshelves, can anybody help me crush a man's feeling of originality?
Wow, no, now I feel terrible.
u/PresN [+2] (a day later)
Closest I got is the original backstory to Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, where the prophesied hero died right at the end of his quest so the evil empire wins, books set 1000 years later, but spoilers
u/kaukamieli [+1] (a day later)
I was thinking more like having the story follow the heroguy for a while and show him making bad choices.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (11 hours later)
Well that was gratuitous.
I understand why you killed Kakashi -- Danzo is evil, you needed a way to demonstrate that that had emotional impact. Ok fine. Killing Gai offstage as well doesn't serve any visible purpose other than to remove an interesting character and a good source of comic relief. At this point I'm pretty much assuming that a major canon character is going to die every chapter, just to show that it's a crapsack of world.
u/kaukamieli [+3] (14 hours later)
Killing Kakashi also makes the trio not be able to rely on adult help, so they have to do stuff alone. Gai would most probably be their next jounin of choice. I'm betting he is planning to make them get out of the village for good and turn traitor, which might be much easier to do when you don't have friends fighting against you.
edit: I never liked Gai and his eternal springtime of youth crap. :D
u/eaglejarl [+1] (16 hours later)
He's definitely someone you want to use in small doses, yes. :>
Actually, if you want to read a very good story that prominently features Gai, check out Cleaning No Jutsu. It's very different from most Naruto FFN -- it focuses on a civilian.
u/xamueljones [+1] My arch-enemy is entropy (16 hours later)
It would be hilarious in a dark way if it turns out that Sai never had any plans to kill them and the team is forced to run from their village due to Naruto's paranoia. But while it fits with the darkness of the story, it doesn't fit with the rationalist theme where the protagonist needs to have a good reason for most things and never turns out to be wrong.
I fully expect Hinata to die, and Naruto and Sasuke kill Sai before joining up with Pein (or Orochimaru if he's working separately from Pein). Less likely scenarios are ones where Sasuke dies instead of Hinata or only Naruto survives.
In addition, it would be an awesome ending if Naruto figures out a way to abuse the Rinnegan to revive everyone who has die in the story, but that has a really low chance.
Does anyone else think Madara is dead or did he fake Pein out?
u/scruiser [+2] CYOA (17 hours later)
It would be hilarious in a dark way if it turns out that Sai never had any plans to kill them and the team is forced to run from their village due to Naruto's paranoia.
Everything else is weak circumstantial evidence, however Sai asking Naruto to turn off his Byakugan, right as the get close to enemy territory, only really makes sense if Sai is plotting something he doesn't want Naruto to see.
In addition, it would be an awesome ending if Naruto figures out a way to abuse the Rinnegan to revive everyone who has die in the story, but that has a really low chance.
Ah yes... I almost forgot we were reading a rationalist story and not a dark fic. I can definitely see at least a distant epilogue where the manage to use all their OP ninja to actually do some lasting good.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (18 hours later)
It does make complete sense if Sai doesn't know Naruto has huge reserves. And I totally called naruto getting rinnegan earlier.
u/scruiser [+2] CYOA (18 hours later)
Yeah but if that was true, Sai would have said something about conserving chakra earlier. It is the way he waited till the were right outside enemy territory, when keeping vigilant watch would be most important, and he decided to both bring it up and press the point until Naruto turned off the Byakugan.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (18 hours later)
He apparently has cheaper ways to scout. They are on a same team there.
u/Anderkent [+1] (17 hours later)
But while it fits with the darkness of the story, it doesn't fit with the rationalist theme where the protagonist needs to have a good reason for most things and never turns out to be wrong.
Ouch. Kinda true tho :(
u/scruiser [+4] CYOA (17 hours later)
Kinda true tho :(
Not really. HJPEV is completely wrong about Quirrel. Lex Luthor from alexanderwales rational fic was wrong in his assessment of superman for much of the story and was probably wrong to kill him. Hana (the person who designed CelestiAI) from Friendship is Optimal should have just programmed CelestiAI to satisfy human values and left out the friendship and ponies part.
I would say in rationalistfics the protagonist doesn't make casual, stupid mistakes (i.e. plot driven idiot ball, failure to communicate, forgetting to use their powers, etc.), not that they don't make any mistakes.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (17 hours later)
Never turns out to be wrong? That should not be a thing I feel. Ofc protagonists protagon...
u/E-o_o-3 [+1] (a day later)
I'm missing so many fanfics for not having watched Naruto, and I'm noticing everyone else has seen it.
Is it worth an adult watching on its own merits?
u/AmeteurOpinions [+1] Finally, everyone was working together. (a day later)
Not really. It has a horrendous content to filler ratio, and everyone I've ever seen only watched it because it was something they had always done since they were much younger.
You don't even need to see it. Lighting Up The Dark is another rational and very approachable take on it.
u/E-o_o-3 [+1] (a day later)
That's what I thought when I saw little snips of the show...it was much too shonen for me to enjoy today. I thought maybe there's something not easily seen at first. (Like Fullmetal or Madoka Magika - you can't immediately tell that they're good)
I'd wonder why it's inspired so many fanfics, but then again I still have a fondness for the pokemon-verse and I don't think I'd have the patience for such a grind-heavy game today either! (Seriously they could be raking in so much cash if they made a more sophisticated game along the same lines, for the kids who grew up, in addition to just repeatedly replicating the same game with more pokemon...)
...although I can't say I liked the pokemon anime, at any age :P
u/PresN [+1] (a day later)
Naruto is shonen's shonen- not only does hit have DBZ-level of slow pacing (5-episode fight scenes, extensive monologues to give important plot details), but the anime continually outpaced the manga as it was being written, so there are entire filler arcs, where nothing of consequence happens to the main characters. Many of them.
Also, the longer it went on (and it went on for years and years and years) the less sense any of it made- it very clearly wasn't plotted out before it started in any level of detail, so by the end there's like 7 levels of villains manipulating each other down the line, and of course you only find out about the newest one once the last one is defeated.
u/E-o_o-3 [+1] (a day later)
Haha back in my shonen-age days some of my friends watched DBZ. All I remember is a blur of Bu, a green person, Saiyans with tails and changing hair colors, a whole lot of screaming and people holding energy balls for the entire episode. I don't think I could give a coherent summary of what it was all about, and I kind of suspect it wasn't actually about anything in particular.
It's interesting that animation (which is hard to create) could ever outpace a manga (which is fairly easy to create), especially a manga without a particularly tight plot.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (a day later)
I got bored of the crap after somewhere after shippuuden and started reading manga instead. Now I read mostly manga. So much faster and often better.