42 KiB
[MK] The Two Year Emperor Ch86: A Graceful Exit
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9669819/86/The-Two-Year-Emperor
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Score: 24
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Created: 2015-02-14T15:24:51
Post:
Comments:
u/bulls55 [+11] (6 hours later)
I loved reading this series and think your writing stlye is great but this just doesn't feel like a satifying ending. This story is about a random guy transported to a DND world to rule an empire, though I enjoyed reading Suze's story arc it just doesn't feel like an apropriate ending. I also wonder about the wisdom about killing Flobovian rulers seeing as
they could just mindscrape them to make them forget everything about Flobovia and maybe send them back to right after maybe even minutes after they were taken(though I assume there are ways for time travel in DND).
They may not have the means to even find their way back let alone lead an army with them. Jake is from a world where magic doesn't even exist or at least completely unuseable by anyone there and may not have been that unique among the rulers. Hell they could just mindscrape them to see if they have anyway of travelling back after being sent home and not kill them if they dont.
If they weren't planning on revenge they most likely will after they find out whats going to happen to them. They may even get allies by resurrecting the formers rulers that were killed(yeah I know what the languard said but after the revelations I think their being less than honest or are holding something back)
While we are on the subject of the languards deceit I wonder if the reason that Jake couln't level up, gain classes or be resurrected(or so they say) is because they did something when they summoned him there like when they filled his mind with Flobovian knowledge or altered his personality. Overall I feel that the ending of the 2YE should be about the end of emperor Jake's reign as I feel since it began with his rule it should end with it.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (19 hours later)
I'm glad you liked it; sorry you didn't like the ending, though.
Mindscrape is technically outlawed in Flobovia, but otherwise your points are all granted.
As to the Landguard...nope, they were being straight up. Jake stands outside a lot of the rules of the world -- he has no alignment, no ability to gain levels, and can't be resurrected. I don't think he has a soul, actually.
u/bulls55 [+3] (a day later)
So if Jake doesn't have a soul then that must mean he isn't tecnically alive by the DND sense which explains why he cant be ressurected. Though that means he just can't be ressurected by conventional means and since from a scientific view humans are just biological machines one could just make a wish to restore that machine to a living or 'working' condition. You know I just came up with a way for Jake to escape and am going to write about it in the comments please tell me what you think.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
You know I just came up with a way for Jake to escape and going to write about it in the comments please tell me what you think.
Did you write this? Or did you mean the Wish thing?
u/bulls55 [+2] (a day later)
It was a foggy night when we finally returned to the castle. It had been a long and exhausting day full of meetings, politics and dealing with the usual assasination attempt. The assasins were actually the least stressful part of the day, when your bodyguards are an elite group of highly trained and experienced paladins who are also level 101 wizards, sorcerors, clerics and archivists some inexperieced punk who just gone through a FLEA days before just becomes a minor inconvenience or entertainment depending on the assasin and my mood, no it was the nobles that made my life difficult. Ever since I made the FLEA available to all peasants the nobles became even more difficult then before, according to Thomas and Suze since just about most of the population has gone through the FLEA the nobles have been feeling they aren't as important as they used to be what with just about everyone else being rich and powerful. Unfortunately for the ruler AKA me they decided they could feel more important by being involved in the politics of Flobovia which again unfortunately for me meant having to constantly deal with self entitled and spoiled poiticians. Whats worse is after the FLEAs and POPEs became widespread more and more people wanted to become nobles and royals themselves, apparently just being an all powerful mage or adventurer loses it's appeal rather quickly when everyone else is doing it too while to the common man nobility and royalty still seemed appealing.
"Uhhhh" I grunted while I dragged myself to the castle after another exausting day of work. "I just dont understand the appeal of nobilty, all it is politics and dealing with stuck up self entitled jerks while dealing with everyones elses problems" I said in a tired tone while we reached the gates. I've taken to going on walks when I had a tough day since it made the nobles more difficult to find me whenever they demanded to talk to me or make an appoinment, sure they would just send messengers but they were way easier to deal with then the nobles themselves.
"You know it how it is the peasants have this romantacized view on nobility and royalty" Thomas stated as he walked beside me keeping looking around for any sign of trouble "Since the FLEAs everyone wants to be special they want to be something no one else can be, these days many people want to be remembered and have stories written about them like the famous adventurers of the past so they do things like become adventurerers themselves. When they go Through the FLEA and realize they have become one the most powerful beings on the planet for one brief moment they feel like they are the most special person on the planet, then they look around the end of the line and realize they aren't as special as they thought they would be. So they go on to try to become nobles and royals either through finding their own lands, trying to conquer our lands or trying to overthrow the current nobility thinking they can do a better job"
I looked at Thomas accusingly "You know it seems you understand these peole an awful lot for a paladin."
"What I couldn't have considered being an adventurer before becoming one of the landguard?" He shot me back his own accusing look "In fact Many paladins that join the landguard were adventurers before joining up, some looking for adventure while others to fight evil and injustice. Though I am somewhat embarressed to admit during my younger years I used fantasize about becoming a king of my own lands with stories of my reign being sung through the ages." He said the last line with a look of somewhat embarrasment.
"Ah when everyones special no one is." The landguard just gave me their usual look whenever I make one of my movie refferences. I guess I could sympathise with them, I mean I can imagine what it must be like to be a high level mage, have genius intellect and be able to alter reality while still being a one in a million person.
"Well they sort of have a point when they say they could do a beter job then some the nobles what with most of them only having their jobs due to nepotism and most of them definitely have the qualifications what with the POPE boosting their intelligence and wisdom while most of the nobles haven't even gone through the FLEA yet" Thomas gave me an accusing look. "Hey it's not my fault the nobles were suspicious of the FLEAs and took so long to sign up! I still can't believe their still upset about that."
"Actually I am pretty sure their upset about the fact that you told them they had to wait like everyone else to go through when they finally changed their minds." one of the other younger and less experinced landguards stated. I couldn't really blame the nobles being so skeptical and cautios considering that the FLEAs were one those things that seemed too good to be true. I still remember how hard it was to convince the average citizen that it wasn't some trick or sinister trap, which I found quite insulting since if I was going to do something sinister I would have been more clever about it.
"As I already said as long I am emperor everyone will be treated equally and if you stuck up jerks dont like it tough luck, so says emperor Jake!" *I said in a loud and authoritive tone with my chest puffed out and my fists on my hips while the landuards smiled. "Besides I don't get what they have to complain about at least their gonna get awesome all powerful physics breaking power eventually while I won't ever be able to even cast the simplist spell." I sulked as I realized that my dream of becoming an all powerful archmage will never become a reality. "Well at least I only have to put up with this for another three weeks and then my reign and my constant headaches are over" I stated in a happy tone with a touch of bitterness remembering my time here was almost up but pushed the thoughts out of my mind.
"Enough talk about work lets talk about finishing my to do list before I have to go back home" I said gleefully as I took out said list and handed it to Thomas.
"Lets see here." Thomas said as he scanned the list. "We still havent found an unexplored dungeon that we can privately explore"
"Oh come on still? This world is filled with the brim with dungeons how hard is it to find one that I can privately explore with my guards." I said exasperated.
"Well it's kind of hard to find a dungeon thats unexplored since the FLEAs became more widespread and dungeon crawling has become a hobby for the average citizen. Ive even heard that people are creating 'super' dungeons for adventurers who have gone through the FLEA that actually want a challenge." Thomas turned to see a hopeful look on my face. "No it's too dangerous, people that havent gone through the FLEA dont have slightest chance of even surviving a super dungeon but we managed to get into contact with people that make normal dungeons for casual dungeon crawlers and have managed to convince them to let us travel through one that should be finished in a week. Now onto the next item on the list... you want to visit a huge vault filled with gold coins and jewels so you may swim through the treasure like Scrooge Mcduck." Thomas raised an eyebrow while reading this.
"What?" I asked in a casual tone.
"Nothing its just that is actually quite simple compared to most of the remaining items on this list including half the ones we already went through." Thomas stated quite casually. I know that the list was quite over the top but honestly what are the odds that an opportunity like this will ever show up for me again? Besides I only have less than a month till my term is up so I might as well use that time to accomplish my fantastic fantasies that could never come true in the real world. I spent the rest of the night arguing with Thomas about which things on the list had to be taken out for being to dangerous or just to flat out crazy to even consider...
Later that night after falling asleep I was having an unsual dream in a scifi world probably influenced by a movie or series I don't consciously remember when all of a sudden the landscape changed into my room then went black for a moment. I woke up to see a man dressed in clothe that would be worn by the average person from this world. "You will die soon" The man simply stated in a monotone voice.
I just looked at him for few seconds before I casually responded. "Look no offence to you but I literally heard that line hundreds of times already and it stopped being intimadating after the ninth time" Honestly I can say that I wasn't afraid since I had my highly capable and crazy prepared guards in the same room with me, that is to say they were supposed to be. I looked around and realized that it was just me and this average looking man in the room before "This is not the material world, I am a telepath from another world and we are in your mind."* And just like that I was absolutely scared out of my mind. I remember reading about psions before and what came to mind were their ability to destoy your mind, turn you into a vegetable and mind rape.
So here I was with an assasin who was already in my head and as far I knew the landguard had no defense for. Just as I was about to scream for help knowing it wouldn't help but being the only thing I can do he spoke"Relax for I am not here to kill you but to give you a message"* I relaxed seeing that if he wanted to harm me he would have already*"You know you really need to work on how you deliver your messages if you want to be any good at your job"I said as I tried to get my heart to stop trying to burst out of my chest"So what's so important that you coudn't just come to me like a normal person and give me a heart attack"
He just stood there for a moment before answering"I'll get straight to the point I am a partial copy of one of the former rulers of this land and I come to warn you that as the current ruler that you will be slain at the hands of your own guards if you cannot escape"
u/bulls55 [+2] (a day later)
I stood there for a moment before I looked around and began piching myself, everything looked and felt real so this couldn't just be a dream* "I assure you this is no dream so please listen to what I have to say"* I nodded for him to continue " You see when a Ruler is taken from his world to rule this kingdom it is by this lands law that they rule for two years and are killed when their reign is over no exceptions. This is done out of fear that the former rulers will come back with an army for revenge for taking them from their homes. So under the justification it is to protect the land the landguard have it in their oath to kill all rulers once their two year reign comes to an end. I was or the person whose mind and memories I come from was one these rulers, the moment I was brought here I scanned their minds and found the truth. Luckily for me they did not know I was a telepath so I hid it from them and for the two years I was here I tried to find an opportunity to escape but was unable to so I mind wiped a homunculus to have my memories and part of my mind then polymorthed it into a stone that I hid in the ground so I can leave a message to someone like you my name is Orm by the way."
I stood there analyzing everything he said wondering if he is telling the truth. Obviously having read my mind he showed me his memories about his discovery, his reign as the then ruler and his death at the hands of the landguard. I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to so I asked him questions hoping to catch him in a lie.*"Wait a minute instead of killing the rulers coudn't they just delete our memories of our time here or make sure we actually have a way to come back. I was brought here with magic which doesn't even exist in my world and my people weren't anywhere close to discovering interdimensional travel"
"It doesn't matter, when the law was made most of the landguard at the time were worshipping a god that aproved of those kind of things if it was in the name of the land and offered the slain rulers as sacrifices. Though the landguard have changed their views since then the law was in effect for so long it became a part of the kingdom and a holy tradition for the landguard who as you know are fanatical when it comes to the law and protecting the land. Even though the landguard of today would probably disaprove of even considering such a law like they have made an oath that they will follow even if it means their death, they will not escitate to kill you when the time comes."He looked at me and probably saw the depressed look of betrayal on my face"If it makes you feel any better they feel pretty terrible about having to kill you"
I was desvastated at the revelation though not that suprised considering how fanatical they are to the point that they would kill themselves if ordered and Thomas outright stating he would kill me for the good of the land.* "Wait a minute you knew that these guys a bunch of high level highly trained paladins who number in the thousands and were basically superhumans would eventually kill me but didn't tell me after I made them all literally dozens of times deadlier and more powerful." I said this with a 'are you serious face' which didn't go unoticed*"For your information my range is as far as the castle and you came up with then implemented that idead when you were in another land."He stated in a matter of fact tone before continuing "Besides I needed to make sure you met my standards and made sure you could actually help me before I took a risk in revealing myself to you."He then cocked his head to the side"What did you think I would just help you without asking for anything in return?"
I looked at the telepath wondering what he could possibly want I mean he is already dead what could he possibly..."Let me guess you want me to bring you back to life"I simply stated which brought a smile to his face"Yes but the thing is a normal resurection just wont work since like you I am not from this world, they make sure of that whenever they summon a new ruler." Of course it makes sense, if their gonna kill a ruler just because they think they will seek revenge their are gonna go the extra mile and make sure they can't be brought back to life.*"Before you even think of refusing I believe I should let know now that first off I am the only person outside the archmages who knows the ritual to take you home and second if you refuse or are caught I made it so you will forget this ever happened." Orm stated in finality
Obviously I have no choice but to help Orm if I want to make it of here alive and make it back home, something that he is perfectly aware of. "Hold on if you are telepath couldn't you just use your powers to force me to do what you wanted?" I asked "I had the ability to yes but in my world learning those skills was highly illegal and would lead to the execution of anyone caught learning it so I never took the risk of learning them. One of the reasons I picked you is because I could erase your short term memory without any visible damge the second is because you seem smart enough to actually pull this off but you are on your own until I am alive again." I opened my mouth to speak. "And no a wish spell is not enough to get you home or resurrect me, the archmages went to extreme care to make it so we coudn't use any of this worlds magic to go home only the ritual will work and since we dont have souls normal resurrections dont work. I should warn you now that the landguard will be more careful now that your reign is coming to an end and will scan your mind when you go to sleep like they have been doing these last two years so I will erase your memories right after you go to sleep tomorrow so you have one day to come up with a plan."
Damn it, I knew it wouldn't be that easy but just one day to come up with a plan is not enough time especially against physically and mentally enhanced supersoldiers multiple class levels, I am seriously regretting coming up with that damned FLEA. "Okay I seeing as I have no choice I'll do my best to get raised, so do you have any idea why people like us cant be resurrected or at least not easily" Orm closed his eyes as he went through his creators memories. "It appears that is because we lack what you and the people of these lands call souls. You see the people of this have two forms their physical form that connects them to this world and their spirit form or soul which is the core of who they are. When they die their soul enters an afterlife leaving their body behind, but we are different we have only one form our physical bodies which house our core being meaning their are no souls to bring back from the afterlife hence we are not technically alive by this worlds definition." Orm stated while I listened intently.
So not only do I have to escape the landguard but I also need to bring Orm back to life with a method I must come up with in just one day. I spend the next two hours going over everything Orm said and the resources that were available to me trying to come with anything that has even the smallest chance of succeding. Then I focused on something Orm said about us not having souls and technically not being alive and just like that I came up with a plan that may be able to work. So me and Orm spent all our time going over every single detail of the plan making sure we didn't miss anything realizing this was our only shot.
u/eaglejarl [+4] (a day later)
To quote a large number of my reviews: "Great chapter! Looking forward to the next one!"
Is Orm an Aquaman reference?
Two minor nits:
The Landguard are actually level 101, not 60. Being as they were the ones running the FLEA, the Landguard took a slightly larger share for themselves. They are all paladin/wizard/sorceror/cleric of the True God/archivists now -- 21 in paladin and 20 in everything else.
There's actually no psionics in Stupidworld (because I loathe psionics) so psions wouldn't be a known thing, but I don't see why we couldn't just assume that this is a mutant-powered Charles Xavier expy.
You should take this, brush it out a bit, and post it as a metafic of 2YE. I'd read the rest of it.
u/bulls55 [+2] (2 days later)
Thanks for the praise and feedback I apreciate it.
Truth be told the name Orm just came to me and I couldn't really remember where I heard it from it may have come from that character.
As for your second nit Orm like Jake is from a different world where telepathy is normal and like Jake is living a completely normal life. I actually considered having Orm be from another DND world where psions were hated by the majority the same way the DND fans did though never having played psion I was afraid I couldn't do it justice.
Anyway I already finshed posting Jake's escape from the landguard in the comments please tell me what you think if you get the chance to read it.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 days later)
Anyway I already finshed posting Jake's escape from the landguard in the comments please tell me what you think if you get the chance to read it.
Done!
u/bulls55 [+2] (a day later)
It was past noon when me and my bodyguards/future muderers were going down a not too crowded street heading to the destination of my choosing. I had spent the whole morning writing some very, very and my mean very bad plays, the kind that you would die of embarrasment if you were just caught reading the script let alone attend the actual play. I had made sure to have the landguards read the whole thing at first and then just the ones who dared looked at what I was writing asking for their opinions. Looking at their faces when they read at was just priceless especially as they were looking around to make sure no one saw them read the scripts. It got to the point that they would avoid looking at what I was writing altogher which is exactly what I was hoping for.
We finally reached the destination that I needed to get to to set my plans in motion. It was on a corner on a street that happened to be close to a plaza, on the corner was literally a pile of wish scrolls. It was just what I needed so I walked up to the pile and reached for a scroll with my pen the hand I was reaching with then 'accidently' dropping my pencil in the pile and taking out a scroll. I walk back to my guards and hand the scroll to Thomas for later use then try to write more plays only to realize I 'dropped' my pencil in the pile so I run up to it and put my hand inside. At which point I lightly grab a scroll and as quietly as possible say "I wish I could write down my wishes" hoping that it works(truth be told I could have just skipped this part but if I was heard I had an easier time explaining my actions in a non incrimenating way). I then 'trip into the huge pile hoping it looks convincing and as stealthily as possible sneak a scroll into my coat before the landguard pull me out of the huge pile.
As me and the languard walk back to the castle I once again begin writing down my terrible plays and again the landguard began purposelly ignoring looking at my writings. That was when I set things in motion, I carefully took out the wish scroll and put it between the papers I was holding at which point I write down on a blank piece of paper "I wish to be put in a looping time stop spell only I can cancel" and just like that everything around me stopped. I look around and make sure the time stop spell worked, I look to see everything even the landguard frozen in time Iand make sure the spell really affected them. I ran back to the pile of wish scrolls and go over the plan and to make sure I didn't miss anything crucial. When we had the scrolls made we put in measures so they couldn't be used to be used for evil purposes and we made absolutely sure they couldn't be used to cause harm to the landguard. Acording to Orm the landguard took measures so that I couldn't escape using the scroll and covered every scenerio so I was limited to what I could do. Still I was preparing for this very moment for hours and had planned out exactly how I would get around them, so I took a deep breath and started the most crucial part of the plan "I wish..."
I woke up to find myself in a cave in a deep crater wondering how I got here then the memories came to me. It was my last day as leader of Flobovia and I was lead to outside the castle when suddenly everything went black... well at least they made it quick and painless. I looked around to see where I was, it was just a dimly lit cave at the bottom of a crater that used to be Herrun's old temple that I destroyed. So looking around I see a chest appear out of nowhere which I immediately rush to, I open it to find one hundred wish scrolls. I take one out and make my first wish "I wish for the body of the former ruler Orm to be brought before me" a humanoid body then appears before, though skeleton would be a more acurate description. I then make my second wish "I wish for this body to be in the condition it was right before the ruler Orm reign came to an end" the skeleton before my eyes is restored to life.
Orm slowly stands up looks at me for a few seconds then delved into my mind, after a few moments he asks me for boots of teleportation which I wish up. He puts them on then teleports, I spend the next few minutes waiting the minutes feeling like days until he finally returns. "I was able to keep my distance by connecting to the hommunculus and got what I needed without being dicovered"He paused and I held my breath "The plan worked they think your still dead and don't have the slightest idea what our plans were"* I nearly drop to the floor in relief at the news not believing that the plan actually worked.*
- The plan was actually quite simple rather than trying to escape from ridiculousy overpowered paladins/archivists/archmages supersoldiers I simply let them kill me while I made so that I could come back to life afterwards. It all began with the idea that since I didn't have a soul I wasn't technically 'alive' by the rules of this world and couldn't be resurrected with a resurrection spell. That meant two things one if I died the landguard would never assume that I could be brought back to life with a resurrection spell and would assume I was dead for good and two I might as well be no different than a golem and there was no rule saying you couldn't wish a broken golem repaired neither did the rule apply to me. So all I needed to do was make it so that my body would be teleported to a specific location no one would have any reason to go to after a period after being buried then use another wish to 'repair' my body after it's teleported and tada you have the perfect disappearing act. Of course I can't forget the hundred wish scrolls that nobody will miss, I turn to Orm waiting for him to speak*
"well?"* I look at him with a face that says get on with it*"Do not worry with these scrolls we almost have everything we need, now we just need a few archmages to do the ritual"
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 days later)
I have to say, it gives me a smile to see a metafic of 2YE -- thanks for doing this. :>
You asked for feedback, so here you go. Let me preface this by saying that this feedback is offered as though this were an actual story that you might post on FFN. If that's what you intended, then the following advice applies. If what you intended was a quick omake just to provide closure without worrying too much, then you can ignore all of this.
- Spelling and grammar needs work -- do a copyedit pass. The use of italics is odd too; I think you may have gotten some asterisks in the wrong place.
- 2YE works off of strict RAW (Rules As Written), and Wish does not work this way according to RAW. (See below.)
- The resolution is rushed -- basically, you didn't earn your finale.
- The character of Orm is never developed at all; even in his dialogue he feels a bit flat, with no particular distinguishing characteristics to hang a mental picture on. A few ways you could improve on this would be to provide some physical description (brown hair, tall, etc), talk about his physical expressions/body language (slumped, shrugged, frowned, sighed, looked away, etc), or give him some sort of verbal trait -- sarcasm, humor, a particular choice of phrasing, etc.
Re: Wishes. There's a defined list of things that Wish can do, and 'make it so that I can write my Wishes' and 'move my body somewhere after I die sometime in the future' are not among them. Wish does have a clause saying "You may try to use a wish to produce greater effects than these, but doing so is dangerous. (The wish may pervert your intent into a literal but undesirable fulfillment or only a partial fulfillment.)" which is probably what you are basing these wishes off of. Since this is your story you can certainly do that, but I would suggest against it for two reasons: first, the elastic clause on Wish requires DM judgement, which automatically takes you out of RAW and into RAI. It's your story so it's certainly fine to do it that way, but be aware that you are leaving the RAW of 2YE behind. Second, if Wish can do anything then there's no way to have tension in the story and it's not engaging for the reader.
If you go back and rework the above items and post it on FFN I'll be happy to read and review. In the meantime, thanks for doing this.
u/bulls55 [+2] (2 days later)
As someone who is considering getting into writing as a hobby I appreciate the criticism and will seriously consider reworking this metafic to work with the RAW of the 2YE. As for Orm there are actually two Orm's the original and the construct which only got the memories of the original and an incomplete copy his mind leaving him somewhat mentally handicapped. Because of this he somewhat lacks a personality, has problems emoting and has difficulty recognizing his sense of self as evident when someone tries to remember how construct Orm looks like they just have the concept of an average man but not any features.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 days later)
That's a really good answer re: Orm, and actually makes more sense than having him be well developed. Make it clear that that is what's happening, though.
u/None [+7] (39 minutes later)
*reads the epilogue*
Wait, what??
GG Eaglejarl, and thank you for the fic!
u/AugSphere [+4] Dark Lord of Corruption (an hour later)
I wonder why Jake never noticed. Seems like it should have been pretty obvious.
u/eaglejarl [+4] (an hour later)
I suppose I should clarify that. The idea was always for him to notice, take precautions, and escape.
u/failed_novelty [+5] (3 hours later)
But then he significantly upgraded everyone who would oppose him...which means that in the last few months of his rule, he will be mindscraped nightly as he sleeps to see if he suspects, and only direct Loki intervention would save him.
There are just too many people who are too smart and with too much preparation time to have Jake survive without help from Thomas, the Landguard in general, or a god. And the Landguard, Thomas included, are explicitly OK with killing him at the end of his rule...Jake is doomed.
u/eaglejarl [+4] (19 hours later)
Jake is doomed
That's part of why I haven't written it. I've never come up with a way for him to win, especially now.
I suppose I could write an epilogue and play straight -- have him actually get sent home. That feels like a losing bet, though; either he loses all his magic stuff and enhancements, or I have to write another novel about him Munchkining the real world.
Hm.
u/Zephyr1011 [+3] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (19 hours later)
I have to write another novel about him Munchkining the real world.
You say that like it's a bad thing
u/eaglejarl [+5] (2 days later)
So now I'm considering doing it, but the problem is not overpowering him. It's easy enough to say that his stat bonuses continue to work, but "Jake wins because he's really strong and smart" isn't the kind of story I want to write -- that's been done.
What I'd like to do is have him bring a few magic items with him and they continue to work. The problem with that is that if I gave him a standard loadout (one of those Handy Haversacks that Ellen picked up) then he's too OP. I never made a complete list of what's in those things but it is, at a minimum:
Each Handy Haversack was filled with dozens of Portable Holes that were in turn full of food, literally tons of gold pieces and expensive spell components, maps, traveling gear, scores of healing potions, hundreds of magic items—even a full set of elegant furniture for a good-sized house! Whomever had put the gear together had been clever enough to include an itemized list of the contents, which container they were in, the purpose of each magic item, and all necessary command words.
The Belts of Many Pockets were similarly equipped—full of nuts and dried meats as flavorful food, a Bag of Everlasting Rations for sustenance, plentiful amounts of gold and silver, healing potions, and yet more Portable Holes full of treasure beyond dreams of avarice. Each Belt even had a few empty pockets for whatever the wearer might choose to add.
I estimate the gold at about $4.4 billion USD. [1]
Obviously overpowering Jake this much is not an interesting story. So, Jake brings just a few magic items -- one or two at the most. Which ones, and why didn't he bring the entire pack? (I suppose I could go with "he did bring the entire pack, but traveling between worlds wiped all but these ones because plot.")
Suggestions?
[1] The gold: Call it 200 cubic feet of coins (the Hole is 270 cu ft, but you lose some for the packing and this is a Fermi estimate), where one cubic foot is 546,514 grams or 17,570.8 troy ounces. Call it 3,400,000 troy ounces. Current price of gold is ~$1300 USD / troy ounce, so that's 4.4 billion USD.
u/Zephyr1011 [+7] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (30 minutes later)
That was an excellent chapter. Best of the second book
by far
u/eaglejarl [+3] (19 hours later)
Thank you very much!
(Note that you said "so far" -- you saw the Author's Note, right? This is the end of 2YE.)
u/Zephyr1011 [+3] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (23 hours later)
Yes, I had. It just entirely slipped my mind when I wrote that comment...
u/ulyssessword [+6] (4 hours later)
That's the most thorough non-death way to kill someone I've seen.
Flesh to Stone -> small rocks -> soften earth and stone -> muddy water -> Purify Food and Water -> water -> steam -> dispersed
u/eaglejarl [+4] (20 hours later)
Thanks. :>
Back when 2YE started, I knew I was going to want to kill some characters. The problem with that is that death is ridiculously cheap in D&D, and I wanted a way to make it stick. I asked over on the GITP forums and got a series of suggestions on how to make it work. There were only a few that fit in my ruleset and that I actually believed would work; this was the most straightforward and morally un-ambiguous of the options.
u/Memes_Of_Production [+5] (9 hours later)
So we wont ever get an ending for Jake's rule/escape from death? Thats so sad! i hope you feel inclined to revisit it some time. Look forward to your next story regardless, was a great read.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (18 hours later)
u/ansible [+3] The Culture (5 hours later)
Good show on 2YE! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (19 hours later)
Thank you. :>
u/Cariyaga [+3] Kyubey did nothing wrong (7 hours later)
I thoroughly enjoyed this fic! Looking forward to your next one, though I must admit I'm hoping for a Naruto one. I've little interest in Avengers crossovers, I'm afraid.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (19 hours later)
Well, we'll see what happens. The Hermione/ Avengers thing would be a short one shot anyway.
I'm glad you enjoyed 2YE.
u/Lugnut1206 [+3] (18 hours later)
... what? This is the end? We don't actually get to see the end of Jake's reign..? You could make a last chapter writing out that little spoiler plot thread, which would make for a more satisfying ending.
Hermione / Avengers
A what now?
u/eaglejarl [+3] (18 hours later)
That little plot bunny has been churning around in my brain since I hit the first key, but it's never come out from under the couch. I have no idea how Jake discovers what's going on, escapes, etc. So, nope, probably not going to get written, sorry. (Although, I'll write practically anything if someone throws enough money at me.... ;> )
Hermione / Avengers
Most likely it would have been a one short novelette / novella(*) showing a slice of life on what it's like for Hermione to be a member of the Avengers. More about the wacky and the fluffy instead of the battle-y and thunder-y.
(*) Then again, I never expected 2YE to be 350,000 words, and my so-far published Kickstarter stories have ended up 50% and 100% over length. Apparently, I suck at writing short.
u/MadScientist14159 [+6] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (20 hours later)
How about Jake wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to the kitchens to get a glass of water, and overhears some off-duty landguard saying it'll be a shame to kill him after all he's done for them, but tradition and law so what can you do.
And then he has someone send a message to Suze to set up a private meeting, he explains what's going on and Suze helps him escape.
u/eaglejarl [+8] (21 hours later)
Yeah, that sounds pretty good. You should totally write that. ;>
u/MadScientist14159 [+2] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (a day later)
Heh, maybe when I'm done with Sodium Hypochlorite.
u/MoralRelativity [+3] (a day later)
Thanks /u/eaglejarl. I've enjoyed YTE immensely. Thank you so much for your creativity, your generosity and, above all, for the enormous amount of time must have taken you.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (a day later)
You are very welcome.
u/Ashrand [+3] (a day later)
A graceful exit indeed. I appreciate the quickness of the ending, and I like your execution.
Great work, man!
u/Kishoto [+2] (a day later)
Haha. I'm fine with the ending, honestly. Was a little sad that we don't get to see more of Death-Suze but I'm also happy she lived, so there's that. Also, question: What's going to happen to Death's Mantle now? I"m assuming that the Overgods have it in their possession right now, ready to bequeath it onto another being, be it another mortal or a God, but that's just an assumption? What're they gonna do?
Also, my 2YE metafic has stagnated pretty hard. It's a symptom of my disease. My plot bunnies all get cancer. They'll last for 2-3 chapters worth of decent stuff. And then die off, never to be resurrected. This isn't the first time it's happened, and it probably won't be the last. Sorry. I do have a basic point-to-point of how I envisioned the plot going though. Let me know if you'd be interested in receiving it via PM.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
I'm glad you liked it. The Overgods didn't tell me what they are going to do with the Mantle -- they may argue about it amongst themselves for a while, but I'm sure they'll come up with something.
If you aren't going to continue with your metafic, I encourage you to post a final chapter announcing that fact and laying out whatever plot elements you'd had in mind -- give people closure, in other words. Also, mark it complete on FFN and put a warning in the summary that it's abandoned.
u/Kishoto [+2] (a day later)
Not a bad idea. I'm still on the fence about making a public announcement of the plot though. It's been dead for a little while, but I still have some vague hope that i might pick it up again. I think I'll probably give it a few more weeks of death before I pronounce it.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (2 days later)
"Well, I'll try" usually means "I'll fail". Either publicly precommit to doing it, or eject and don't waste brain space thinking about it. That's my suggestion, anyway.
u/Kishoto [+2] (2 days later)
What if I let your comment spur me into actually doing it? Some good ole reverse psychology? :P
u/eaglejarl [+3] (2 days later)
Up to you. I'm just saying you should fish or cut bait.