18 KiB
[FF][RT] Hermione Granger and the Perfectly Reasonable Explanation
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Author: u/turbinicarpus *
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9950232/1/Hermione-Granger-and-the-Perfectly-Reasonable-Explanation
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Score: 48
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Created: 2015-02-24T12:20:44
Post:
Comments:
u/Charlie___ [+11] (an hour later)
This is lots of fun so far. Only complaint would be how Hermoine's total ignorance of her classmates' expectations seems a bit forced - her emotional intelligence is also sometimes quite high, and I'd rather it was just pinned down at a little below normal.
u/turbinicarpus [+7] (23 hours later)
I had a similar sense.
My headcanon about the early-canon Hermione is that she was unaware that she was antagonizing people with her behavior: the reason she broke down when Ron called her a "nightmare" was that she had thought that she and Harry and Ron were, after all their shared experiences, friends. Suddenly, she discovers that she's been antagonizing them all along, and she doesn't quite understand what's wrong with her and how to fix it. That's why she spent the afternoon crying, not because she is particularly fragile nor because Ron is a bully.
In this fic, she can tell that some of her classmates resent her help (but does it anyway), and she understands and interprets her classmates' (both Ravenclaws' and Slytherins') reactions when she covers up her notes, and games out the possibilities. (For example, she asks herself how they might react if she tells them that it's the teacher's orders.) That already makes her more emotionally intelligent than her canon counterpart, IMO.
u/josephwdye [+2] I love you (14 hours later)
In canon she seemed to have average to a little above emotional intelligence.
u/Transfuturist [+7] Carthago delenda est. (12 hours later)
[](#s ""An example," the Professor continued, accustomed to this reaction. "A fellow student during my own time attending Hogwarts attempted to - outside of class - Transfigure a pair of rocks into earrings for herself, that glowed with blue light. Some of you might be concerned about what happened to her earlobes when the Transfiguration wore off-" several female students winced, "but Untransfiguration is accommodating. That is to say, a Transfiguration itself, when properly reverted, will generally not cause harm or changes to other things as a result. So in that sense, her attempt seemed both innocent and successful. It was not." The Professor paused for effect. "The next day, most of her hair had fallen out. The day after that, she fell deathly ill. It was clear she'd been cursed or poisoned somehow, but even after it was known to be the result of proximity to a flawed Transfiguration, no remedy attempted could halt the progress of her condition. A boy she'd...spent some time with grew similarly ill. She died after lingering quite painfully for another two days, though the boy eventually recovered. To this day, we still do not understand precisely what happened." She let this sink in, then leaned forward, and her voice gained intensity.")
u/Kodix [+5] (a day later)
Yeah, I thought that was a really neat thing to include. Particularly since there really was a time when a muggleborn student might've thought to do that.
u/None [+2] (19 hours later)
Wait, where did she get irradiated/radiating rocks?
u/daydev [+14] (20 hours later)
She transfigured them. Presumably, Moira knew about glowing radium paint, but it was at the time when the dangers of radiation were badly understood. The text even mentions infamous watch dials.
u/OffColorCommentary [+7] (15 hours later)
This is a lot of fun, I'm looking forward to more updates.
I know it was intentional on the author's part, so this isn't a criticism of the work itself, but Hermione's attempt to explain radioactivity was cringe-worthingly bad. There are rocks that glow and make you very sick if you spend too long near them. The reason they make you sick is very different from any usual reason, so there was a long gap between knowing about the rocks and knowing that they were dangerous.
u/eaglejarl [+4] (7 days later)
You could even get a little closer to the truth:
"There are rocks which give off a harmful radiation. Radiation, in this context, refers to a kind of light that is similar to but different from heat -- it's invisible, and you can't feel it. Radiation is harmful to humans."
u/OffColorCommentary [+2] (7 days later)
That's pretty good too. My original take on it was going to actually explain some of the science, but I realized that it wasn't necessary to convey the meaning.
"Muggles have discovered that matter is made of tiny building blocks we call atoms. There are about 100 types of atoms, which we call elements. The higher-numbered elements are generally much rarer, and many of them are unstable. The unstable ones gradually fling away pieces of themselves; gradually but still violently. Some of those pieces are safe and look like glowing, and others are invisible and really dangerous if they hit humans."
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
Good one. I had written something similar at first, but then decided that the whole atoms thing was an extra piece that wasn't needed you made it work, though.
u/MadScientist14159 [+2] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (a day later)
At least seeing that it was hard to put in 16th Century terms got Minerva to take it seriously.
u/Kiroto [+5] (18 hours later)
Sooo.
About that door riddle... Anyone figure it out? I've got nothing, save to call him a 'knutter.'
u/None [+7] (19 hours later)
[deleted]
u/ZeroNihilist [+5] (a day later)
u/daydev [+3] (19 hours later)
u/None [+1] (19 hours later)
[deleted]
u/daydev [+1] (20 hours later)
I'd bet PRE!Hermione wouldn't either
Yeah, are not mentioned amongst Hermione's extra reading, so she probably doesn't know the story.
And anyway, this interpretation is interesting because it references canon, but I'd consider this answer "unfair", it's too allegorical for a presumably logical riddle. Although, IIRC in canon the riddles were more like philosophical questions, rather than logical riddles.
Your "mundane" answer makes much more sense in this regard. I considered something along this lines, but I didn't remember the ratios, I thought it was less than , and I didn't bother looking it up.
u/Zephyr1011 [+5] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (a day later)
u/Transfuturist [+3] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
I'm not sure about this, since Hermione thinks she heard something similar in the Muggle world. I wouldn't be surprised if it were the real answer, but I would be disappointed.
u/Zephyr1011 [+9] Potentially Unfriendly Aspiring Divinity (a day later)
u/Transfuturist [+7] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
=_=
u/None [+3] (a day later)
flips table
u/RMcD94 [+2] (a day later)
Goddamn I hate those kind of riddles.
u/pastymage [+1] (a day later)
If I had to guess, I'd say the knocker tends to lob lateral-thinking soft-balls at 1st years, and deeper questions at others.
Is there a list somewhere of all the knocker challenges in canon? I only remember the one from DH about Vanishing, which seems like an "actual question" type.
u/Nevereatcars [+2] The Greatest Is Behind (a day later)
There was that one, which McGonagall answered, and another one earlier in the same book, which Luna answered. Not nearly enough for a list.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
Ah, lovely. Something that requires knowing an obscure bit of HP trivia to solve.
u/daydev [+3] (19 hours later)
The narrative suggests that actual quantities are important, but I don't see a way to transition from quantities to profession other than through pun.
But I got nothing, the best I could think of was 'leven-ate-ten' -> Ob-livin-a-tor, but that's extremely tenuous.
u/Charlie___ [+2] (a day later)
u/MadScientist14159 [+1] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (a day later)
My guess:
A coinmaker.
It's a family business, the knuts are their work for the day.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Goblins make the coins, so it doesn't make sense in the cultural context.
u/FeepingCreature [+4] GCV Literally The Entire Culture (14 hours later)
:puppy eyes: More? Please?
u/turbinicarpus [+6] (a day later)
Put those back in the jar before you damage them!
But, I agree with the sentiment. Frankly, I've always thought about HPMOR that if you want a rational! protagonist in the HPverse, Harry requires a near-complete rewrite of his personality and natural talents, whereas Hermione requires but a few tweaks. (I do understand why LessWrong went with Harry. He had didactic goals that took priority over everything else, and the audience for Harry as the lead will always be bigger than the audience for Hermione as the lead, at least outside stories that are primarily romance.)
u/RobinDrew [+2] Ravenclaw - (Author: HGPRE) (17 days later)
I'm working on it, honest!
u/FeepingCreature [+1] GCV Literally The Entire Culture (17 days later)
Sweet!
u/MoralRelativity [+3] (6 hours later)
Lovely moments which make me smile.
u/Zeikos [+1] Communist Transhumanism (3 days later)
If that was canon compliant Hermione would be kidnapped by the Unspeakeables in arround one week.
Jokes aside DAJUM that's good , that's scary A LOT SCARY but good.
I hope you have your plot figured out , this concept is so hugely abuseable that it makes me pale.
Ever heard of Nanotech ? (obviously yes , this subreddit is not for nothing) With transfiguration and some ability in computer programming (you ship this problem since the magical world seem to have arleadly some basic AGIs [artificial general intelligences] ) it would take maximum hmm 2 years? Five? to reach the singularity Would be a cool way to get rid of Voldemort for sure.
I'm not saying that making nanobots will be easy for her obviously , but it would be way easyer than i can comprehend.
u/turbinicarpus [+3] (3 days later)
If that was canon compliant Hermione would be kidnapped by the Unspeakeables in arround one week.
In canon, the Unspeakables don't do much of anything, really. :P Besides, they'd be all, like, "Transfiguration? That's boring! We're studying LOVE!"
I hope you have your plot figured out , this concept is so hugely abuseable that it makes me pale.
To be clear, I am not the author. I just found a fic that I thought would fit the subreddit, and linked it.
Ever heard of Nanotech ? (obviously yes , this subreddit is not for nothing) With transfiguration and some ability in computer programming (you ship this problem since the magical world seem to have arleadly some basic AGIs [artificial general intelligences] ) it would take maximum hmm 2 years? Five? to reach the singularity Would be a cool way to get rid of Voldemort for sure.
Voldemort: [stepping out of the cauldron] Behold! I have defeated death!
Hermione: While you were a shadow in Albania, we developed magically assisted technology to virtually eliminate the possibility of death for those who do not wish to die, and implemented it world-wide. We are also working on plans to postpone indefinitely the heat death of the Universe. Your path to immortality is obsolete.
I'm not saying that making nanobots will be easy for her obviously , but it would be way easyer than i can comprehend.
I think it depends on how abstract Transfiguration lets one be. Hermione may have known about atomic structures of wood and metal, but if she'd never seen a metal needle in her life, would it have worked at all?
u/Zeikos [+1] Communist Transhumanism (3 days later)
To be clear, I am not the author. I just found a fic that I thought would fit the subreddit, and linked it.
Oh sorry , was late yesterday didn't check , i just assumed
Hermione: While you were a shadow in Albania, we developed magically assisted technology to virtually eliminate the possibility of death for those who do not wish to die, and implemented it world-wide. We are also working on plans to postpone indefinitely the heat death of the Universe. Your path to immortality is obsolete.
This is surely far more amusing than i pictured it :D . Do you happen to know crack fics that follow this line of thought? They would amuse me to no end.
I think it depends on how abstract Transfiguration lets one be. Hermione may have known about atomic structures of wood and metal, but if she'd never seen a metal needle in her life, would it have worked at all?
True , but it depends if the thing needed is knowledge or actual experience , if it were the latter you would be right. But i doubt the girl that transigured the radioactive hearrings had an actual experience of whatever radioactive element caused the glow, maybe she was the daughter of a nuclear physicist or had otherwise found some of it , if it was radon it wouldm make sense , since as far as i understood the incident happened arround the '50s but i don't see it so likely.
edit : some minor and some major corrections
u/turbinicarpus [+1] (4 days later)
I know of some magitech fics, but not any that go full Singularity.
I don't know if that's what the author of the fic has in mind, but what makes sense to me is that experience of "the destination" is necessary, while knowledge involved in "the journey" is helpful.
Moira, in particular, could have easily experienced radioactive elements, if she had a watch that used radium paint for watch dials and hands that glowed in the dark. This was done as late as the 60s. Edit: Actually, that's mentioned in Hermione's internal dialogue in the fic.
I view this as a good limitation of Transfiguration. For example, do you want to conjure a nanofactory? At least see one first-hand first. Or, if you want to be nasty, sarin? How is magic supposed to tell the difference between it and millions of other odorless, colorless, volatile liquids if you don't first expose yourself to enough of it to feel its effects?
u/Zeikos [+1] Communist Transhumanism (4 days later)
For example, do you want to conjure a nanofactory? At least see one first-hand first. Or, if you want to be nasty, sarin? How is magic supposed to tell the difference between it and millions of other odorless, colorless, volatile liquids if you don't first expose yourself to enough of it to feel its effects?
I completly see your point , i agree. I missed a bit the context of the story and got caught in a flight of fancy. [stasis charm + matter-antimatter transfiguration = fun ?]
Anyway in the HP universe transfiguration is not my biggest "issue" (abusability wise) but rather AGIs , hell they have paintings that can pass a turing test without any kind of problem...
I've NEVER seen a fiction that tackles the problem of computation with magic. Imho the fact is that it is way too broken. An hard-take off AI would be far too easy and i don't see how the canon laws would prevent it , exept using the soul-cliche (you must be a living biological being to have creative thoughts), the fact is that it wouldn't excuse IA (intelligence augmentation) .
That's one of the reasons i've never started the endeavour to make a FF of my own , the other being that my english grammar and sentence structuring are bloody awful.
Anyone of us in this subreddit if put in the canon HP universe would just break it. Maybe for dumber subjects like myself it would take some years but yeah... And i think that's why we don't see so many Rational!HP stories , magic and science mix so well , way too well ; avoiding Peggy Sues is too hard [note : in the HPMoR universe is less so because the rulers are stricter than canon]
About Singularity based stories i know some that follow a "Power" (post-singularity all-powerfull entiry) that hops from an HP universe to another. Ex Machina It's not only one , he did 4 of them plus a HPMoR crossover.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 days later)
avoiding Peggy Sues is too hard
u/Zeikos [+1] Communist Transhumanism (7 days later)
Mary , Mary . Got confused :) , when i wrote that reply i wasn't still aware of all different meanings of these terms used in fiction. So yeah , i stand corrected
u/RobinDrew [+1] Ravenclaw - (Author: HGPRE) (17 days later)
Given the canon existence of time-travel, Peggy Sues can be hard to avoid, too. ;)