19 KiB
Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Chapter 17
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/17/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 32
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Created: 2015-03-01T06:01:35
Post:
Comments:
u/DaystarEld [+7] Pokémon Professor (a minute later)
Hey everyone, welcome back, and sorry for the cliffhanger! Also sorry for the slightly late chapter: those of you caught up on HPMOR can probably guess what distracted me.
So, one of the readers brought up some good questions about pokeball functionality and the hoothoot's death in his review, and I wanted to share some edits and clarification here:
Even if Red had registered his hoothoot with his pokedex, he can't just catch another pokemon and overwrite its data with the hoothoot's: pokemon don't become "energy" per se. They are basically atomized and compressed into a mass of what looks like energy, much like the light of the Star Trek transporters. The actual pokemon that was captured needs to be the one used, or else a pokemon that's almost literally a copy of it down to the atomic level, or else risk major complications. Just think of the gut bacteria and antibodies that need to be recreated. It's theoretically possible, but so difficult that it's rarely attempted and has never been successful.
Pokeballs are so arbitrarily powerful that the temptation to include more features and failsafes and capabilities than those included in the games/anime, like wireless data backup and automatic registry, have to be resisted. Since I need to draw the line of how powerful they are somewhere, I'm trying to stick to the games' capabilities as much as possible, and even come up with various miscellaneous restrictions (battery life, mass limits, "lock on" requirement) to explain why people in the games and anime don't, for example, fly over wild pokemon dropping pokeballs on them until they're caught.
Otherwise, taken at face value with how they seem to work, the munchkinry would be so powerful and so obvious that the only explanation for why people in the games and anime don't use them that way and are still smart enough to tie their shoelaces in the morning is that pokeballs can't be used that way, and it's just up to our imagination, or in this case mine, to come up with reasons why.
Hope that makes sense, and if anyone has new questions or objections to note, I'm really interested in hearing them, as always!
u/PeridexisErrant [+7] put aside fear for courage, and death for life (2 hours later)
Also sorry for the slightly late chapter: those of you caught up on HPMOR can probably guess what distracted me.
But can it distract you-know-who?
u/SkeevePlowse [+2] (18 hours later)
I'm pretty sure he could explain why kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, it just adds nothing to his utility function.
u/liamash3 [+7] Mizu (49 minutes later)
So Blue got a Shiftry. At the loss of his Caterpie and Beedrill. I don't think it was worth it, especially considering how much that 'mon's gonna be hating him for dismembering it.
The part with Red and Leaf was interesting, as was the differences of pokemon between regions - even the same species can have differences it seems, just like reality! I also liked how Leaf gave the Pichu to Red, and apologized about his dead Hoothoot.
u/DaystarEld [+6] Pokémon Professor (2 hours later)
Yeah, that's definitely going to be an upward climb for him.
u/E-o_o-3 [+5] (17 hours later)
especially considering how much that 'mon's gonna be hating him for dismembering it.
Not to mention slaughtering it's entire tribe O_O. I don't think, say, a dog, would ever forget that sort of thing. Luckily for Blue it seems the pokeballs do some kind automatic obedience training to the pokemon.
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (22 hours later)
Yep, but it doesn't actually remove memories: just adds new ones that (usually) help with obedience and forming a bond.
u/E-o_o-3 [+7] (17 hours later)
Huh, I was pretty sure they were overpowered and would have to escape somehow rather than fight, given the previous chapter's very scary description of how dangerous even the single Shiftry was! I guess Shiftry do not account for allies hidden in pokeballs :D
As always, your writing gets better and better with each chapter. Really good tension! I like the relative lack of plot armor preventing things from dying, it will make future fights more intense.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (22 hours later)
Thanks a lot :) I've been definitely trying to improve, and it's good to know that I am a bit.
u/Timewinders [+5] (17 hours later)
I liked the fight scene. It did a good job of keeping up the tension. I didn't realize this before, but how does Squirtle expel so much water? Does it store compressed water somewhere? Do its attacks in this story use up less water than in the games/anime? It makes more sense for a Blastoise, which is large enough to hold a lot of compressed water, but not really for a Squirtle. Even absorbing water through the skin shouldn't give it access to that much - google tells me that at 20 degrees Celsius you can't get more than 15 mL per cubic meter.
Since the names Volta, Faraday, etc. exist, does that mean this pokemon world is a post-apocalyptic version of ours? Or is that just a reference. I'm looking forward to finding out.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (22 hours later)
Squirtle stores compressed water, yes: it allows it to hold more than what its size would normally appear to, but not nearly as much as the anime, where it seems to be infinite.
As for the names, their world has many of the same major figures in history, particularly science. It was a decision I made early on to allow Red to make references to scientific discoveries and research that allows the readers to still look it up and research it in more depth :)
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
Now you need a mechanism by which to compress infamously incompressible water.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
I was actually thinking that it doesn't hold it inside itself as water, but as compressed oxygen and compressed hydrogen, in two separate bladders in its body. When it prepares to spit some, it releases a bit from both into a third chamber that turns the gasses into water.
The problem with this is it would require a source of high heat inside Squirtle's body, and on top of that the third bladder would need to be incredibly chilled.
(and of course the danger of exploding turtles during battle)
I'm not sure which is more feasible: that it has such a complex and potentially dangerous internal organs, or that the one bladder that holds water is able to exert absolutely insane amounts of pressure.
It's yet another one of those cases where I just look at GameFreak and think "Does anyone there own a basic science textbook?!"
u/Timewinders [+3] (4 days later)
I think a bladder that exerts a lot of pressure is much more feasible. I'm not a physicist, I only know a bit about biology, but the oxygen/hydrogen reaction is explosive, and while it'd probably be possible to release the energy slowly through a chain of reactions with enzymes that would result in water slowly being produced in the third bladder, which would defeat the purpose of using a reaction to quickly produce the water. Compressing the water by an insane amount probably doesn't work either in terms of the physics, but in terms of evolution it's a lot simpler to just have really strong muscles compressing a tough bladder. The only real-life animal that shoots water that I found on google is the archerfish, which simply applies pressure and doesn't have water storage issues for obvious reasons. Many fish store oxygen in their swim bladders to adjust their buoyancy, but it's kept in non-compressed, gaseous form. Perhaps for Squirtle it would make more sense for it to use very thin, very accurate, high pressure streams or bursts of water to target weak spots like eyes so that it could achieve more with less water. But you have to work with what Gamefreak gives you, I suppose. I'm looking forward to your explanation of how Pokemon use moves like Surf indoors.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
Perhaps for Squirtle it would make more sense for it to use very thin, very accurate, high pressure streams or bursts of water to target weak spots like eyes so that it could achieve more with less water.
That's mostly what I've been doing so far: the deluge of water used this chapter quickly exhausted his reserves, but before that he's been using short high pressure bursts.
I'm looking forward to your explanation of how Pokemon use moves like Surf indoors.
Oh, no, screw that. I have no problem whatsoever simply dismissing that as a game conceit :P Same with being able to use fish-pokemon like goldeen out of water.
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (4 months later)
For squirtle, why not just make it teleport water from the nearest source or the last source of water he's seen?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (4 months later)
Because then I have to explain how squirtle can teleport water, which goes beyond "alien" biology and straight into magicmetaphysics :)
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (4 months later)
Do you have anything in mind for masterballs? Or you prefer not entering that nest?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (4 months later)
I do indeed have something in mind for masterballs: simply put, they're meant to be the most powerful and versatile of balls, capable of doing anything and everything the others can, and more.
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (4 months later)
So a ball that doesn't need scanning and automatically flies to the closest/strongest/weakest/anyprestatedcondition pokemon?
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (4 months later)
More like very quick scanning, the mass limits of a Heavy Ball, the electricity resistence of an Ultra Ball, the underwater use of a Dive Ball, and so on.
u/4t0m [+3] Chaos Legion (24 minutes later)
Great chapter!
Typo?
"I don't think that wasn't a shiftry," Luis says after a moment.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (2 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/nicholaslaux [+1] (a day later)
One more typo:
Sarah's gloom shoots acid at one of the remaining shiftry, who can keeps trying to evade with middling results.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Also fixed, thank you :)
u/Ulmaxes [+3] (3 days later)
"Drugs are the be^eeeeeee*^esdtas;lfkjfett* "
This message brought to you by the Red Metacross, and appreciators of Pain Meds just like you.
u/PrinceofMagnets [+2] (an hour later)
"It's time to roll the dice" This reference was perfect, it's something completely in-character for Blue and didn't break my immersion at all, good on you Daystar.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (2 hours later)
Thanks, glad you liked it :)
u/AtoningUnifex [+1] Dai-Gurren Brigade (3 hours later)
Please tell me Leaf doesn't braid her hair
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (10 hours later)
So your comment just made me think that there's more to the "reference" that /u/PrinceofMagnets mentioned than I thought. After a google that brought about surprisingly specific results, I regret to inform everyone that I have never read Wheel of Time, nor heard that phrase used in connection to it XD I didn't even know it was a "saying" of any importance: it's just what came to mind for Blue's thinking, the way someone playing pokemon in our world or a sim in his would have to, eventually, take a chance on a capture without knowing if it would stick. Since pokeballs work on a binary catch-nocatch system in my world, this was the closest thing to taking a chance on a capture that they'd get.
I'm not sure if that detracts from the enjoyment or not, but I figured it's best to be honest :)
u/AtoningUnifex [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (11 hours later)
Sounds like your model of Blue is pretty similar to the WoT character in question anyway. Enjoyment levels holding steady at 100%, captain =)
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (13 hours later)
\o/!
u/PrinceofMagnets [+1] (19 hours later)
That just makes it even better in my opinion, Mat was my favourite character in TWoT. I'm really loving Blue and Red, they have a really interesting dynamic, especially with Leaf just sort of tossed into the middle of their friendship. There's so much potential in this story for interesting character conflicts, and it really seems to me that you're doing an excellent job of pacing and keeping the focus narrow enough (if we end up with more than 6 characters driving the plot, I'll be shocked). This is my favourite fiction that I'm currently reading.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (22 hours later)
Thank you, that means a lot!
u/LaNuitDuChasseur [+2] (6 days later)
Hi!
I just stumbled upon this recently. I was looking for something to fill the void that HPMOR will be leaving. I really like that you've picked Pokémon to do a rationalist version of :D
As others have mentioned, your writing (and my enjoyment of the story) has steadily improved as you've written more. Perhaps I'll give critiques at a later time, but for now, please take this message to keep on writing this story! I'm very much immersed in this world you've adapted, the characters you've developed, and there's so much possibility! I'm very much interested in seeing where you take the story from here.
And above all else, thank you :)
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
Thanks a lot, I'm glad you've been enjoying it! If you're looking for other stories scratch HPMOR's itch, have you read Luminosity or Worm or The Metropolitan Man?
u/LaNuitDuChasseur [+1] (6 days later)
I've read both luminosity books, but haven't heard of the other two. I'm currently checking out the game of champions as you suggested in a preface to one of your chapters; I'll definitely earmark those other ones. Thanks!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (7 days later)
Ah cool, Game of Champions isn't really rationalfic per se but it's by far the best pokemon fanfic I've read :)
u/PrinceofMagnets [+2] (29 days later)
I'm rereading TOoS while I wait for Chapter 18, and I've decided to hunt down all the typos while I'm at it.
I'll reformat when I have access to a computer.
Chapter 1:
that cropped up between the
that has cropped up between the
over the past year was how obsessed Blue seems to be about
over the past year is how obsessed Blue seems to be about
Blue seems to be about Pokemon battling, while Red finds them interesting on multiple different levels.
Blue seems to be about Pokemon battling; [or "."]Red finds Pokemon interesting on multiple different ["multiple different" feels redundant, consider selecting just one? I think this is more personal taste than anything] levels.
Making matters worse was the suspicion Red has gained over the years that the entire concept of "Pokemon types" is flawed...
Making matters worse is the suspicion Red has gained over the years that the entire concept of "Pokemon types" is flawed...
Red wants to yell that even if Blue had seen a hundred Pokemon battles,
Red wants to yell that even if Blue has seen a hundred Pokemon battles,
he looks at the ground and stays quiet. If it's one thing
he looks at the ground and stays quiet. If there's one thing
been a common argument between he and Blue, but
been a common argument between him and Blue, but
Blue and he began to grow a bit more distant
Blue and he had begun [personal taste again] to grow a bit more distant
rather than do anything worth writing about
rather than doing anything worth writing about
and never fails to impress upon Red how lucky he is to
and it never fails to impress upon Red how lucky he is to
A foreign girl with long brown hair stands from the computer she'd been sitting at
A foreign girl with long brown hair stands up from the computer she's been sitting at
Red was so focused on the pokeballs he hadn't even noticed her.
Red had been so focused on the pokeballs that he hadn't even noticed her.
Red stares until Blue greets her, then mumbles his own after. He'd never met someone from Unova before,
Red stares until Blue greets her, then he mumbles his own greeting after. He's never met someone from Unova before,
pair of touch pad screens greet him,
pair of touch [personal taste?] screens greet him,
Red barely contains himself from pumping a fist into the air
Red barely stops himself from pumping a fist into the air
friend and protector until their last breath."
friends and protectors until their last breath."
thing to Blue and Leaf's
thing to Blue's and Leaf's
on for several pages to describe all that had been learned
on for several pages to describe all that has been learned
Red exchanges a look with Blue and Leaf, who smiles and gestures to the two boys.
Red and Blue exchange looks with each other, then Leaf, who smiles and gestures to the two boys.
can only remember a handful of details from the
can only remember a handful of details about the
Here's a worthy first mystery to take on: he would find a way to prove one way or the other how charmander's fire relates to their vitality, [this just feels weird, but I can't figure out how to word it better]
As Red suspected
As Red had suspected
Red wonders how long Blue had practiced that.
Red wonders how long Blue has practiced that.
Either way it looked cool, and he has to stop himself from attempting it himself. He'd try later in private.
Either way it looks cool, and he has to stop himself from attempting it. He'd try later in private.
When you catch a new Pokemon, it will be atomized [atomized? Is that how you have it working?]
He learned all this in bits and pieces over the months of working here,
He's learned all this in bits and pieces over the months of working here,
Blue says with a grin, and spins his pokeball on his finger again.
Blue says with a grin, as he spins his pokeball on his finger.
<3, keep up the good work
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (30 days later)
Holy crap, thanks a lot! I'll definitely get to these as soon as the next chapter's up: I've actually been doing some heavy edits to chapter one (which is partly why the latest chapter is so late), so this will be useful for that :)
u/None [+1] (27 days later)
[removed]
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (27 days later)
Thanks, glad to hear it!