13 KiB
[MK][D] Munchkin yourself into omnipotence in the cannon HP-verse
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Author: u/Igigigif IT Foxgirl*
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/2zf2su/mkd_munchkin_yourself_into_omnipotence_in_the/
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Score: 9
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Created: 2015-03-18T01:12:00
Post:
Seeing how Methods has ended, we might as well do another HP munchkin thread. This time there's a specific goal: become a god. Assume that you are already the undisputed god-emperor of humanity and wizards (not that one) via fidelius, felix felix, grey goo imperius, or any other the many other options available to you.
EDIT: your goal is to achieve omnipotence or the closest possible approximation. The world is not enough.
Comments:
u/None [+21] (2 hours later)
The problem with this kind of thing is that canon HP mechanics were more or less pulled out of Rowling's ass as she needed them. They're not really complete, explained, or consistent.
In order to really, properly cease being 'mortal' you need to step outside the confines of canon magic lore and start making things up.
u/MrCogmor [+15] (8 hours later)
Work out how to apply Room of Requirement enchantments tailored to me all over the planet. Alternately use the spatial manipulation it exhibits to create a personal sub dimension of arbitrary size and controlled by my will where I am god.
u/None [+3] (9 hours later)
Alright, this one wins.
u/Askspencerhill [+3] I almost stole Cruithne's flair (3 days later)
...Or just think, "I need a room that contains a device that will bring me to omnipotence..."
u/upsilonmeta [+15] (10 hours later)
Considering that Felix Felicis is essentially a PtV:
Drink Felix Felicis
Path to omnipotence or the closest approximation thereof?
u/The_Insane_Gamer [+1] Make life take the lemons back (13 days later)
1: Drink Felix
2: Make more Felix while Felixed
3: Acquire currency to buy more Felix ingredients
4: Once your Felix supply is secured, study magic and science as much as possible, with Felix on.
5: Begin experimenting under Felix
6: Continue experimenting until you ascend to godhood.
Preferably within a short amount of time, as using too much or for too long is really bad. Do not use Felix unless necessary or during one of the steps.
u/Someone-Else-Else [+7] Anti-Spiral (2 hours later)
Assume that you are already the undisputed god-emperor of humanity and wizards (not that one) via fidelius, felix felix, grey goo imperius, or any other the many other options available to you.
I'm already god, then.
u/Igigigif [+1] IT Foxgirl (3 hours later)
No you're not. Just ruler of one planet. God-Emperor was a figure of speech.
u/Someone-Else-Else [+3] Anti-Spiral (3 hours later)
If I've got all the magic, and all the resources of a planet, and I can't become god at my leisure, I'm doing something wrong.
u/Igigigif [+5] IT Foxgirl (3 hours later)
True. This thread is about that process.
u/eaglejarl [+6] (9 hours later)
Step 1. Gray goo imperius to gain control of the entire human race and, most notably, the folks at MIRI.
Step 2. Feed them a few gallons of Liquid Luck so they successfully create a Friendly AI that is fanatically loyal to me personally.
Step 3. Become god.
Step 4. ???
Step 5. Profit! (Also, use my omnipotence to undo whatever harmful effects (up to and including death) are caused by using such large amounts of Liquid Luck.)
u/notentirelyrandom [+2] (a day later)
I am pretty sure that MIRI + liquid luck would be more likely to result in a Friendly AI than a fanatically-loyal-to-you AI.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
I did specify both.
u/MugaSofer [+3] (11 hours later)
Create a bunch of portraits of myself in this situation, creating a bunch of portraits. Then paint in something that gives them godlike powers within the world of the portraits. (Probably wouldn't work.)
I could probably set up a time-turner-based arbitrary answer machine using some sort of minions that couldn't be scared out of it. But ... precommitting to an action that would almost certainly cause a paradox seems like a Bad Idea if the universe timelessly prevents paradoxes from happening.
Can't hurt to look into whether you can pull off an intelligence explosion with wit-sharpening potions or felix felicis or whatever, but I doubt you can - the mechanics of them are unclear, but it hasn't happened yet, so ...
Use magic to fork my consciousness - could use a Horcrux, if I have to, too lazy to figure out an easier way here - and use the various mind-affecting magics to turn one of them into a much better person. (Actually, assuming I'm not a psychopath, might be a good idea to do that to myself anyway to be a better God-Emperor to my subjects?) Chuck good!me through the Veil to whatever afterlife awaits.
Re-authorize long-term timetravel research (banned according to Pottermore because they're afraid of changing the past after There Was An Incident, but I just want to see the past, pretty much) and find the Source of Magic, or whatever it is that created magical creatures. Copy that.
Check if Boggarts can create super-powerful magic if that's what you're afraid of - boggart!Dementors have fear auras, so maybe? But Lupin implied a boggart!Dementor was less powerful, so probably not.
The rules for magic-item creation are unclear, but they seem to be capable of pretty much the same things as regular magic (Room of Requirement can't create food, Fred and George made shield-charm hats.) So ... "only" teleportation, matter transmutation, and time travel. Oh, and mind control and creating servitors immortality and telekinesis and all sorts of magical sensors and... enough Moody-style cyborging up, with magitech created by mind-controlled Fred-and-George equivelents, and you're basically a god.
u/omgimpwned [+2] Sunshine Regiment (2 hours later)
Define god.
u/Igigigif [+1] IT Foxgirl (3 hours later)
Fixed
u/Jarnagua [+2] (3 hours later)
Transfigure my skeleton into computronium and have some BS way of interfacing with & powering it.
u/MadScientist14159 [+1] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (14 hours later)
Felix Felices singularity
Wit-sharpening potion singularity
u/E-o_o-3 [+1] (20 hours later)
With the time turner, I know you can't go back more than 5 hours, but is there any rule against living the same 5 hours over and over again until you die?
u/ancientcampus [+1] juggling kittens (a day later)
the 6 hour rule is only in HPMOR. I don't think it's in canon.
u/The_Insane_Gamer [+1] Make life take the lemons back (13 days later)
Redefine your sense of fear so that you are most afraid of getting godlike powers. Find a boggart.
u/ulyssessword [+1] (2 hours later)
Grindelwald was invulnerable because of a series of blood sacrifices while he fought Dumbledore. See if you can set up the same protection for yourself 24/7 at minimal cost, either by distributing it over 7 billion people, or else some sort of specialized spell engine (maybe transfigure a p-zombie person, then sacrifice it every minute?)
Horcruxes are a bad idea, but may be necessary. Each one splits your soul in half, so 2 gives you 1/4 of a soul, 3 gives you 1/8 and so on until 7 gives you 1/128 of a soul left. Souls are presumably good for something, so you may want to keep yours intact.
u/Someone-Else-Else [+10] Anti-Spiral (2 hours later)
Weren't the blood sacrifices fanon?
u/Rhamni [+9] Aspiring author (2 hours later)
There certainly wasn't anything about them in the books.
u/ulyssessword [+3] (2 hours later)
On second thought, I have no idea. I'm fairly sure it's not canon, but I was thinking it was either WoG or else extended universe info.
u/Rhamni [+6] Aspiring author (2 hours later)
There does appear to be an afterlife in canon, so yes, gotta be careful with that soul.
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
Brew Felix Felicis
Drink Felix Felicis
Use luck to create more Felix Felicis then your first brew.
Drink Felix Felicis, bottle the remainder.
Repeat from step 1. Soon you have infinite luck.
I don't know about how to get from infinite luck to omnipotence, but if it's possible I'm pretty sure grinding the hell out of your luck is the first step.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (3 days later)
FF is toxic in large doses, though. There is also implication that using it too often is bad and that the definition of "too often" may be measured in years.
u/None [+0] (a day later)
I'm going to reference something /u/EliezerYudkowsky once said and answer in one word: Aguamenti.
I mean, Ravenclaw's Diadem will speed things up, but it's not strictly necessary. Though I suppose... I wonder if there's a spell that grants finite-time evaluation of a completed infinity... That's probably under DO NOT MESS WITH TIME, but it would grant access to much neater tricks than almost anything else ever.
And there's one magic trick I'll really have to try, just to completely fuck with the whole world. Transfiguring metric space to go non-Euclidean is basically just messing with gravity, which shouldn't be too hard since I'll know exactly how broomsticks and Hovering Charms do it. From there it's just a bit of ballistics.
u/xamueljones [+1] My arch-enemy is entropy (2 days later)
I've got to know. How do you become omnipotent with Aguamenti, a spell to create fresh, potentially drinkable, water?
Are you saying that since you're violating the mass-conservation principle, you're already god in a sense?
u/None [-1] (2 days later)
I've got to know. How do you become omnipotent with Aguamenti, a spell to create fresh, potentially drinkable, water?
The idea is that violating the conservation principles of mass and negentropy is really the only thing I actually needed on top of things I can already do in real life.
Likewise, "finite-time evaluation of a completed infinity", if you've been reading through GEB, should at least hint at being so magical it violates logic and grants omniscience in a puff of anti-logic.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (2 days later)
The idea is that violating the conservation principles of mass and negentropy is really the only thing I actually needed on top of things I can already do in real life.
Can you be more specific?
u/None [-1] (2 days later)
Well, the laws of physics form a self-consistent whole, as far as we can tell from the universe not showing us flagrant violations of logic, so if I can violate one thing that's normally a law, I can Munchkin it into violating any law I need to violate. And those are really the two hard ones, that ones that put an upper limit on the hopes of any living creature, so those are the ones I'd want to be able to violate. Those, and, of course, the limitary laws of computation and information.
Other than that, well, anyone can acquire "omnipotence" just by figuring things out to the point of understanding everything.
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
I'm not sure if Aguamenti necessarily breaks a physical law. How do we know the wand isn't just beaming in water from some far away comet/star using energy harvested from some farther away exploding star? Same goes with the matter for assembling fishes.
What's more likely, that magic is the extremely advanced use of energy according to the existing models of physics, or that it is a violation of the physics that everything else in the universe works on?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (3 days later)
I'm quite prepared to believe you, but you still haven't said how you would munchkin it. That's the point of the thread. Would you use the water as reaction mass? Power a water wheel with it? What?
u/None [+1] (3 days later)
Other than that, well, anyone can acquire "omnipotence" just by figuring things out to the point of understanding everything.
Basically, I was planning to make myself not merely super-intelligent but "superintelligent" in the oh fuck oh fuck run away sense. Which more-or-less requires doing it the hard, slow way if you want to not mess up.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (3 days later)
Once again, you haven't said how. Also, how do you make yourself superintelligent using Aguamenti?
u/None [+0] (3 days later)
I don't make myself superintelligent using Aguamenti. I make myself superintelligent the slow, difficult way using science, including decades of investigation, and then I use Aguamenti to make sure I don't run out of universe.
u/Nevereatcars [+2] The Greatest Is Behind (4 days later)
So we can assume that you're already on the path to acquiring your oh fuck superintelligence IRL then, since it doesn't require anything besides good old hard effort to conquer the world? Could we get an ETA on that?
u/None [+1] (4 days later)
25 years, let's say.