19 KiB
[RST][FF] Team Anko - Chapter 4
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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Score: 24
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Created: 2015-03-22T03:22:32
Post:
Comments:
u/liamash3 [+9] Mizu (an hour later)
I like how you've listed all the different things the characters learn in the Academy this chapter. Helps us know their basic skillsets. Anko sounds like she had a more thorough one overall, though considering she got taught by Orochimaru that doesn't come as a surprise. The reference to sex-ed and 'trauma' bit was a nice hint of the potential dangers of ninja life, although I'm left wondering why guys don't get the 'trauma' training as well - they're just as much at risk, if they have a rare bloodline. Potentially more, considering male vs female reproduction rates.
The exposition on the differences of Henge were nice, as a clarification of 'you can make solid or illisionary' is much better than canon's uncertainty. Heck, some fanon have it so only Naruto can make solid Henge, which...comes off as a tad strange when you think of all the in-universe research that would've been done once the skill was made.
The little 'get rid of shyness' bit that Anko did with Hinata was nice, as was the analysis of the team's skillset - including comparing how Hinata saw herself with how she actually is, skillwise. I also like the discussion on clones, the somewhat revised history so the Sannin aren't /quite/ strong enough to take on something like a few hundred ninja by themselves, and the acknowledgement that Samurai are decent at combat and can take Ninja if they're in a team.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (an hour later)
Anko sounds like she had a more thorough one overall, though considering she got taught by Orochimaru that doesn't come as a surprise.
Yeah, Anko's education was better than that of almost any other ninja Konoha has produced in twenty years. It was also way more brutal. Almost all of her issues are a direct result of her time with Orochimaru.
as a clarification of 'you can make solid or illisionary' is much better than canon's uncertainty.
Thanks. The canon version drove me nuts, so I decided to do this instead.
The little 'get rid of shyness' bit that Anko did with Hinata was nice,
I had a lot of fun with that. This is a romance story first and an adventure story second, and this bit was a natural fit. The whole "ugly duckling => beautiful swan" thing is totally a trope, but it's a really fun trope to write.
...the Sannin aren't /quite/ strong enough to take on something like a few hundred ninja by themselves,
It would be an interesting scene to write. The way I picture it, there's two or three hundred ninja trapped in a killbox with the Sannin. The enemy ninja have the problem of avoiding friendly fire, so they have to be careful throwing kunai and can't use area effect jutsu. The Sannin, on the other hand, can just kill anything that moves. Tsunade would be right in her element -- I picture her as having fantastic taijutsu skills and, when you combine it with her medical knowledge (chakra scalpels, knowledge of anatomy for targeting), she one-shots pretty much anything she hits. All three of them are summoning stuff, they and most of the enemy are hiding / fighting underground. It would be a hell of a battle, but I think they would eventually be taken down. They'd do a lot of damage first, though.
and the acknowledgement that Samurai are decent at combat and can take Ninja if they're in a team.
Yeah, I think that's a bet that canon missed. There should be some counter for ninja aside from "more ninja!"
u/liamash3 [+8] Mizu (2 hours later)
Yeah, Anko's education was better than that of almost any other ninja Konoha has produced in twenty years. It was also way more brutal. Almost all of her issues are a direct result of her time with Orochimaru.
I wonder what issues she shall have in this fic? Has it been hard to separate 'fanon' character behavior and mechanics from the canon stuff?
I had a lot of fun with that. This is a romance story first and an adventure story second, and this bit was a natural fit. The whole "ugly duckling => beautiful swan" thing is totally a trope, but it's a really fun trope to write.
It's a romance story? That comes as a surprise. I just figured you wanted to write a Naruto rational fic, and it didn't click you'd have specific themes beyond that in it.
description of how Sannin vs Army would go
Interesting. I agree that they'd fall to numbers eventually, but they'd probably take quite a lot of the enemy with them.
Yeah, I think that's a bet that canon missed. There should be some counter for ninja aside from "more ninja!"
I stopped following Naruto sometime in the early parts of Part 2, but I agree Samurai didn't live up to their full potential. I think the author fell into the same thing that the DBZ one did - power creep.
u/eaglejarl [+5] (2 hours later)
I wonder what issues she shall have in this fic? Has it been hard to separate 'fanon' character behavior and mechanics from the canon stuff?
My knowledge of Naruto is almost entirely from fanfic. I read a few, liked it, went to watch the anime, and gave up either partway through or just after the bridge fight. I just couldn't stand the way things were dragged out and Naruto's obnoxious catchphrase ("Believe it!")
It's a romance story? That comes as a surprise. I just figured you wanted to write a Naruto rational fic, and it didn't click you'd have specific themes beyond that in it.
Yep. Oh, there will be adventure and fights and such, but I'm mostly interested in the characters and their interactions. I don't think that's incompatible with a rationalist story though, so we'll see how that goes.
u/Gworn [+5] (8 hours later)
I would recommend trying out the manga. You can read at your own pace, so it doesn't seem so dragged out like the anime. Though I can't really recommend reading further from the Ninja World War onwards. Once you reach Part 2, stop as soon as you start rolling your eyes too much.
Fanon can give you the wrong impression about some of the characters. Some go through character development, but a lot of fanfics start them out with the end result, especially Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto starts out as a bit of a dick and grows up through the Wave mission and meeting Gaara. Sasuke is actually pretty sympathetic until he gets targeted by Orochimaru and is completely broken when he runs into Itachi again.
u/Jace_MacLeod [+7] (11 hours later)
Though I can't really recommend reading further from the Ninja World War onwards. Once you reach Part 2, stop as soon as you start rolling your eyes too much.
And now, the dreaded 10-tails will transform into its ultimate form - A GIANT TREE!
u/fullplatejacket [+9] (23 hours later)
Maybe it's just that she's decided to deal with Hinata's issues first, but I can't help but think that Anko is taking entirely the wrong attitude towards teaching (and in general interacting with) Naruto. I think what he needs more than anything is a person who will be completely straight and honest with him. He doesn't have a single person like that: the most he has are people like Iruka and Sarutobi who are kind to him when they can but who are fundamentally unwilling or unable to sit down with him and explain the things he needs to know, or help him with basic issues like the Clone technique. The ability to be self-sufficient is valuable, but Naruto has the opposite problem - he doesn't understand that it's possible for a person to actually help him when he needs it. Anko's mind games might improve his skills but they won't improve his mindset or his relationship with her. As of right now he's only gotten confusing signals and every lesson learned gives him a new reason to distrust her as anything she says or does could just be a trap as part of some new "lesson."
What's more, she's acknowledged to Hinata that Naruto has huge self-esteem issues, but only put Naruto in situations where those issues are likely to worsen. As the appointed tactical planner of the team, he is not only likely to fail in actual execution at some point, he is also criticized at every turn when he suggests something flawed. She also doesn't seem to acknowledge his successes when they do occur. She doesn't even seem to notice that Naruto is actually able to sustain a normal emotional range while under a henge (a skill the other two explicitly are shown to lack initially). She's shocked at how he's able to pull off a large change in mass with his henge, and then just points out flaws in it and moves on. She rightly gets on Naruto's case for not working with the others on tree climbing, but avoids mentioning that he actually did manage to make some progress on his own despite being at a huge inherent disadvantage in comparison to the other two.
While she's taking a hands-on approach to helping Hinata, she seems to be taking the route that every instructor Naruto had in canon did - giving intentionally cryptic instructions and letting him work things out himself. And in canon, that type of method tends to leave him angered, confused, and not making much progress until the shit hits the fan and he comes up with a solution just in the nick of time. It's functional within the story, but hardly an actual good method of instruction.
There's also the fact that she knows about the potential attraction between Naruto and Hinata and chooses to mess with him by having Hinata practice acting like a couple with Shino. That may not be the worst thing you can do to someone with huge self-esteem issues, but it's pretty awful.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
Upvoted.
A few responses:
- You'll be seeing more of her interactions with Naruto soon. We had a bit that was mostly about Shino, a bit that's been mostly about Hinata, and next up is Naruto.
- I may have been less obvious about this than I intended: she's matchmaking Hinata and Naruto. That's the entire reason that she's putting Shino and Hinata together.
u/fullplatejacket [+3] (a day later)
I think you were being perfectly obvious about it, but I also think the "make the girl pretend to like some other guy to make the guy jealous" trick is something that even in fiction only results in misunderstandings and hurt feelings, and it's a particularly cruel thing to do to someone with crippling self-esteem issues.
I'll acknowledge that we haven't seen Anko specifically focus on Naruto yet, and so she might do better in the future, but my point here is that she's made several missteps with him already, and so she's going to have to repair that damage before she's actually going to be able to make real progress with him.
u/MadScientist14159 [+2] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (a day later)
I may have been less obvious about this than I intended: she's matchmaking Hinata and Naruto. That's the entire reason that she's putting Shino and Hinata together.
I'm not sure that would work (in real life, I mean. Obviously you can just say "Yes, it does work." because you're the author). Naruto has never shown any interest in Hinata, so having Hinata and Shino play at being a couple would only destroy any interest in her he might otherwise have developed further down the line.
In order for the jealousy trick to work the victim needs to be already somewhat interested, or else they'll just write the other person off as "involved with another, so not a potential partner".
u/lsparrish [+2] (2 days later)
Just out of curiosity, is matching up the three of them as a romantic triad something that would occur to Anko?
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 days later)
Yes, if Shino were to show interest in either of the others. He hasn't so far.
u/actually_just_idiot [+8] (59 minutes later)
They were genin at the start of Word War Two
Word War One was the conflict that saw the introduction of typographical warfare, but Word War Two nearly destroyed the entire world, leading to a world-wide ban.
Hinata had it harder: she was short, and had the typical Hyuuga eyes—pure white, no pupils at all. Being extremely 'gifted' for thirteen, she was able to restribute some mass from her chest and repurpose some of her musculature in order to give herself an inch of height and hair to her waist. She lowered her cheekbones, widened her nose, thinned her lips a bit, and could probably pass for sixteen—just old enough not to get thrown out of bars or gambling dens.
Can't she use her Byakugan? Doesn't that remove the need to be able to see through the henge?
"So...uh...any ideas on that money thing?" Naruto asked weakly.
"How much do you think we could sell our kidneys for?"
"Isn't that the standard mission expense money?" Hinata asked reprovingly. Her sensei just laughed.
This is hilarious.
She assessed Hinata for a moment and put a little extra confidence into her voice. "It'll be great, I promise. We're going to be the prettiest girls in there, and guys are going to be fawning all over both of us. And you're not going to have to do anything except talk a little and dance a little, okay? This is perfectly normal stuff that lots of teenagers do."
I'm, like, 90% sure that you're not supposed to abandon your ninja on a mission so you can go dancing, Anko.
"It's a rock clone," Anko said. "There's plenty of clone techniques out there—water, earth, rock, I think I heard about a sand clone, and I know your family can do bug clones. Earth isn't my best element, but I can do a few things with it, and rock clones are great when I need to be in two places at once. I programmed it to teach cards, so Naruto can study while we're practicing."
Interesting. Anko has a lot more control over her rock clone than Naruto has over his shadow clones.
"I would take the three of us to the other room, but I'm suddenly feeling edgy about splitting up"
"That's probably because we're being followed by a squad of ninjas."
"What? How do you know?"
"Well, it's been four chapters, and we haven't gotten in any fights."
"Chapters? What are you talking about?"
Anko kept drilling the two on appropriate boyfriend / girlfriend behavior, carefully oblivious to the way that Naruto was occasionally twisting around to look at them and frowning as he did.
Hinata's not oblivious to it, though.
u/liamash3 [+4] Mizu (an hour later)
I find it kinda sweet how Hinata acting like she's Shino's boyfriend is bothering Naruto. Hints at him having feelings for her.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (2 hours later)
Hinuto is my OTP.
u/JackStargazer [+4] Primordial Apologist (2 hours later)
And canon compliant!
u/liamash3 [+2] Mizu (2 hours later)
checks what OTP means
Oh! Yeah, I agree. I always liked Hinata (although I liked her Part 1 hairstyle moreso than her Part 2 one...), as she just seems like such a sweet, kind person.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (an hour later)
Can't she use her Byakugan? Doesn't that remove the need to be able to see through the henge?
Doing a physical henge to your eyes (i.e. actually moving parts of your body around and making actual changes in the flesh) ruins your eyes and leaves you blind unless you get it exactly right. Even if you get it right, you may look strange -- e.g. if you make the eyes too big you'll look like an anime character. She doesn't have the skill to pull off a physical henge of her eyes; she could cover them with an illusionary henge, but those are easily disrupted and so Anko is insisting they use physical ones.
"How much do you think we could sell our kidneys for?"
Heh. Thank you, this made me laugh
Interesting. Anko has a lot more control over her rock clone than Naruto has over his shadow clones.
Shadow clones work very differently from every other kind of clone. It was hinted at here and will be dealt with more thoroughly later on.
u/clawclawbite [+3] (an hour later)
Real Ninja training on real mission skills!
u/eaglejarl [+4] (3 hours later)
Yeah, it bugged me how the only thing they seem to train for is combat. This isn't a dungeoncrawl, people!
u/Nevereatcars [+2] The Greatest Is Behind (a day later)
The only thing that bugged me more than their combat focus is how many of their problems could be solved only be using violence against crazy people. I guess that's shonen.
u/JackStargazer [+3] Primordial Apologist (2 hours later)
I like how you're including Hinata more in the direct training. Anko seems like the type who would try to fix what is broken on that end in the most direct way possible.
Your characterization here is great. I'm not sure if Canon!Shino had an anger issue he was hiding under the monotone, but either way it is certainly a believable character trait.
The only thing you might have missed is Naruto's talent for improvisation. While not very bright or skilled in strategic planning, his instantaneous tactical planning is actually rather good. He always seems to put together a decent response in very short time, especially in a combat situation. This is likely part of the reason he was such a good prankster.
You can see an example in the Canon Zabuza fight, with the fuuma shuriken clone-henge. That was a three level deception that he and Sasuke cooked up non-verbally and almost instantly when it was needed.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (3 hours later)
No argument about Naruto. Give him a problem that he can address in the next 30 seconds, he's brilliant. Even pranking, he's great, but that's action with just himself, over a few hours, where he expects to be identified and knows what he's facing.
Pllanning actions over the course of a few days, with multiple people, unknown opposition, and severe constraints against being noticed? Not really his thing. Anko threw him into the deep end here -- she's making sure he doesn't fail, but she's forcing him to do as much of it as possible himself.
u/DrunkenQuetzalcoatl [+2] (22 minutes later)
Word War Two
That is either a pun I'm not getting or a typo.
u/liamash3 [+1] Mizu (45 minutes later)
I noticed that too. Probably typo, going by canon.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (an hour later)
I have no idea what you're talking about. There's no typo there.