28 KiB
[FF][RST] Team Anko - Chapter 13
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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Score: 25
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Created: 2015-07-05T21:12:17
Post:
Comments:
u/eaglejarl [+4] (2 hours later)
Serious question: can someone explain to me what it is that people hate so much about the Shino / Hinata pairing? I have literally lost count of the number of snotty reviews and FFN messages I've gotten since this story started, all of which boil down to "this better not be S/H or I'm not going to read it!"
EDIT: I was bored, so I went back and counted. Something like 3% of the reviews are some version of 'I hate the ShinoHina!!1!1!!' There's a whole bunch more that are polite but address the same issue -- asking if that's what it's going to be, saying that they were hoping for "NaruHina", saying that they aren't fond of "ShinoHina", or whatever. I didn't count the ones in PM, of which there have been a bunch.
And then, of course, there's the guy who wrote to say "I just want to know where you're going with this?" blink That's like saying "hey, can you tell me what the last page will be?"
u/None [+9] (2 hours later)
Just...man, just ignore it. You read too much fan fiction, and things happen to you. I read a book the other day. It was refreshing, like champagne after a month of swigging moonshine. Don't let it get to you. Those people have been swilling strange and terrible things through their brains.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (2 hours later)
Thanks. :>
It doesn't bother me that much, but it does utterly baffle me. I was hoping that maybe there was an actual reason for it, aside from "I have inflexible tastes and expect them to be catered to!"
u/liamash3 [+6] Mizu (4 hours later)
No, that's likely the answer. They have a specific pairing in their head and get grumpy when a fanfic sets the characters up in another manner. Personally, I don't really care about pairings, beyond them being well written. If the relationship is developed naturally and written well, I'll read and enjoy the thing, regardless of the characters being paired.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
I tend not to care about pairings unless they're written well either, but NaruHina and SasuSaku are fairly ruined for me, considering canon's crap treatment of romance.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
Fair warning, you might want to stop reading. This is a Naru/Hina/Shino/Sasu/Saku/Kiba/Chouji/Neji/Hinabi (aged up)/Lee/TenTen/Shika/Ino/Gaara/Kankuro/OC/OC/OC/OC/OC group marriage fic with a (genderbent)Haku mixing in when she's around and Temari being wangsty because she desperately wants Hinata but has been thoroughly friendzoned...which eventually will turn her into a romance!antagonist who tries to sabotage the marriage.
Don't worry none of the siblings are romantically/sexually involved, they are simply part of the marriage.
There will also be another (adult) group marriage that offers guidance and support to the kids on how to make it work: Hiruzen/Anko/Kakashi/Guy/Madara/Kurenai/Zabuza/OC/OC/OC/OC/OC/OC/OC.
Obviously characters will be genderbent and/or sexuality bent as necessary to make all this work.
Oh, I almost forgot to say: This is totally a troll joke. The above is absolutely NOT going to happen and noone will be aged up (well, aside from the slight adjustments I made on the Team Anko kids), or gender- or sexuality bent.
u/Transfuturist [+2] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Oh, I almost forgot to say: This is totally a troll joke.
Well that's it, I'm not reading anymore then. >:V
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Hm. I'm not sure what that smiley is, so I'm not sure if you're serious or not.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (2 days later)
Well, that's up to you, Mr. He-Who-Hates-Naru/Hina/Shino/Sasu/Saku/Kiba/Chouji/Neji/Hinabi(aged up)/Lee/TenTen/Shika/Ino/Gaara/Kankuro/OC/OC/OC/OC/OC-group-marriage. You, you author! Oh ye of good judgement and sensible romance!
bursts into tears
u/eaglejarl [+1] (2 days later)
laugh
Well, if you really, really want to see all that...that's a pity, 'cause it's not happening.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (2 days later)
I have no doubt that it would in fact look like an eldritch nightmare given form.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (2 days later)
Sounds about right.
u/JackStargazer [+3] Primordial Apologist (18 hours later)
It's a Green vs Blue situation.
Pairings online are like politics or sports teams, and so are spiders in a very significant way. Whole sites will support one or another, argue for thousands of posts that 'X should be with Y because Z', and write enormous counterarguments based on any number of different reasons to support their own position.
And like politics and sports, they snipe each other. They snipe constantly. Anytime anything shows up in the series itself that favors one over another (say before a relationship is resolved) they argue over what it means and attack the worse off side.
The trope term is Ship to Ship Combat, and it's a real thing.
As such, many supporters of X pairing (usually a portmanteau of the two names of the characters, Naruto and Hinata pairings are colloquially called 'NaruHina' for example) are used to people who write or express a desire for another pairing being direct ideological opponents, who would love to attack them. They therefore preemptively lash out.
It's a lot like politics actually. And of course, some of them are insecure, and identify with their position as a major facet of their personality, and so they attack even harder and quicker at any perceived threat.
I feel like there's a sociology study to be had here, but I've yet to secure funding.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (19 hours later)
I feel like there's a sociology study to be had here, but I've yet to secure funding.
laugh I don't know where I would use that, but do you mind if I use it?
u/JackStargazer [+2] Primordial Apologist (a day later)
Go ahead. My wit is open source.
u/Nevereatcars [+5] The Greatest Is Behind (11 hours later)
Naruto x Hinata is the second-most popular pairing after NarutoSasuke, so putting Hinata, Naruto, and Shino on a team and then pairing HinataShino is like tricking people.
And the people you're tricking are on the internet. And crazy.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (15 hours later)
Naruto/Sasuke? I assume Sasuke walks around in leather pants?
I get your point but...how can this possibly be tricking people?! The team list is right there in the description!
Argh. The internets, they are bonkers.
u/Nevereatcars [+2] The Greatest Is Behind (15 hours later)
It's easy to trick crazy people. And NarutoSasuke is the most popular ship on FF by far.
Edit: apparently it isn't anymore: quick check shows that NarutoHinata has overtaken it in sheer volume of produced fanfictions.
u/ATRDCI [+2] (a day later)
Well having that pairing be canon and a whole movie set around it probably helped.
u/ATRDCI [+1] (a day later)
I assure you, Naruto/Sasuke is at the very [tip of the iceberg] (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3096379/1/First-Encounter) as far as pairings go
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
MY EYES! MY BLEEDING EYES! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!
And that's just from reading the description.
u/Solonarv [+1] Chaos Legion (3 days later)
/r/Eyebleach
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Sasuke wears leather pants in canon, so it's not really far off the mark...
^^^^^^^I ^^^^^^^meant ^^^^^^^that ^^^^^^^figuratively, ^^^^^^^so ^^^^^^^don't ^^^^^^^correct ^^^^^^^me ^^^^^^^on ^^^^^^^Sasuke's ^^^^^^^fashion ^^^^^^^choices...
u/cowsruleusall [+1] (2 hours later)
People get attached to their own mental pairings, whether canon or not, and when they read a work that they enjoy only to find that their preferred pairing didn't happen... heh.
u/liamash3 [+4] Mizu (4 hours later)
Nice little chat between Kurama and Naruto, and it was interesting to see the prison is shaped differently to canon. Glad you didn't use the 'kit' thing common in fanfic, or make the Biiju female or something.
And we also got the reveal of what 'the plan' finally is, between the two non-hospitalized Genin and Anko. Seems the idea is for the teacher to be so harsh in training the students for them to attempt defection, presumably in a ploy. As a side-effect it's likely going to beat any problematic habits out of Hinata.
...I begin to suspect Hinata and Shino are forming a romantic relationship, actually. A crush, certainly.
u/LeonCross [+1] (4 hours later)
There's absolutely nothing wrong with female 9 tails.
Watches Sayuri chase her tails
u/liamash3 [+2] Mizu (a day later)
Well no, of course not. It all depends on the way stuff is framed, though, and half the time people leap straight into 'friends with the Kyuubi' simply from talking to it politely and asking it's name, or occasionally have the thing female as an excuse for why this version of Naruto can genderbend/is a girl/whatever.
Although I always pictured the fox as male, going by personality and voice, it's likely the creature is genderless. Mass of chakra and all that.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (2 days later)
Who is Sayuri? Google gives nothing useful. (I typoed it the first time as 'Sayuki'. Turns out, she's a Japanese model / soft-core porn star.)
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Except that it is a common hallmark of insufferable OP harem fics.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
People have Kurama as part of a harem? Wow. That's just bizarre. And that's leaving aside the bestiality and "size of a building" problems. (Although I assume s/he can shapeshift and size change, so maybe the size thing is fixable.)
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
This tended to be before Kurama was a real character, so it would be more along the lines of the stereotypical kitsune monstergirl. Naturally it's female, how else could Naruto fuck it?!
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
As fair warning to everyone: I haven't seen the part of canon where Kurama is a character. My Kurama will therefore almost certainly not match up with canon.
u/Cariyaga [+1] Kyubey did nothing wrong (a day later)
Neither have I, to be fair. My knowledge of his character is third-hand, hahah!
u/LeonCross [+1] (5 days later)
Wasn't Kurama in this. 9 tails was basically a baby Kitsune who somehow won her nine tails status from a God at a poker game and then proceeded to get super excited about how fluffy they were and chased them around...leading to the destruction of Konoha in the manga.
And it came across to me as almost a blatant parody of a harem fic. It was both hilarious and well written.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (17 hours later)
...I begin to suspect Hinata and Shino are forming a romantic relationship, actually. A crush, certainly.
Well, it IS marked as romance...although, I will mention that Hinata/Naruto is my OTP. Still, Shino deserves love too.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Threesome time.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (13 seconds later)
Longest chapter yet; enjoy.
u/Cariyaga [+3] Kyubey did nothing wrong (2 hours later)
Oh, I quite enjoyed this. I especially enjoyed Kurama's characterization. I've always rather enjoyed the role he plays in Naruto fanfiction, especially in a less antagonistic role. Hopefully we'll see more of him!
u/eaglejarl [+2] (4 hours later)
Absolutely! He's too much fun not to. I was already reading up on him and noticed something that I haven't seen alluded to in fanfiction before, so I'm very excited about getting to (maybe) be the first to use it. Specifically, it's
u/PeridexisErrant [+3] put aside fear for courage, and death for life (10 hours later)
u/derefr [+2] (a day later)
Personally, I've always been confused that Kurama doesn't have 25 Charisma. You'd think a Thousand-Year Old Fox would be a bit more... clever at getting what it wants from its host.
(Or just at getting the host to let it out of the box. Maybe the seal uses some of the bijuu's own power to run a communication-result simulator, and block any thought-messages from the guest that would lead to the host releasing the guest?)
u/Cariyaga [+1] Kyubey did nothing wrong (4 hours later)
To be quite honest, he's one of my favorite characters in the series and gets relatively little screentime in fanfics, so I'm quite happy about this. :D
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
he's one of my favorite characters
You should probably be aware of what I (just now) said in an earlier comment.
u/lsparrish [+3] (2 hours later)
Yay, more Shino x Hinata :)
Great scenes with Anko feigning callous indifference. She finally has the excuse to take the gloves off.
And Naruto/Kyuubi was way better than what I remember from the anime when they first meet -- the Fox is actually an interesting character. Lots of posturing and so on, but they manage to haggle their way down to a position of mutual respect, and I guess Naruto's superpower of getting people to like him is coming in handy.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (4 hours later)
Thank you.
Writing the Anko scenes was almost physically painful. She hates doing this, and it's hurting her emotionally about as much as it's hurting Hinata. Next chapter, her first scene will be her crying herself to sleep.
Kurama, on the other hand, I loved writing. Big Tough Nasty, but utterly baffled at this little monkey-thing that wants to be friends? That was so much fun. Don't worry, there will definitely be more of him...just like there will be at least a little more of Hashimoto. I'll be a little sorry when Naruto gets out of the hospital and I don't have an excuse to put Hashimoto on stage, but it's time to get Naruto back in the action.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
I really love Anko being a hardass. I like hardass military instructors in general; the introductory scene in Full Metal Jacket is possibly my favorite part of cinema.
That said, I understand the emotional charge behind it, and it makes her a richer character. I just wish I could say I wanted a richer character in this case... >_>
u/eaglejarl [+1] (3 days later)
You'll love the next chapter, then. I'm actually a little concerned that maybe I should tone it down. I don't think I can, though, because it's a necessary prelude to the big event in the middle.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (3 days later)
drools
There is something very wrong with me.
u/IomKg [+3] (18 hours later)
For what it's worth personally at least the kurama scene was breaking my suspension of disbelief\characterization\rationality. its too much effort to break it into which part specifically, but it just seemed awkward to me..
it might not be too important as long as it will be stay consistent in the future, and the chapter generally was still an interesting read, but it felt somewhat forced.. like it sometimes feels when a fanfic wants a character to behave in a certain way and is hurrying there, so the transition between the pure cannon and fiction is not as smooth. anyhow as i mentioned its too much effort to be more introspective then this to point what specifically felt odd to me, hope this helps, or maybe it only felt that way to me so you can ignore it..
u/eaglejarl [+4] (18 hours later)
I'm afraid "something was wrong" actually doesn't help; if you can figure it out, please let me know what you thought was wrong.
u/AmeteurOpinions [+3] Finally, everyone was working together. (19 hours later)
I would agree. It was... trite, for lack of a better word. Kurama totally failed to impress me as the ancient demigod he's supposed to be -- this chapter, the very first time we meet him, makes him sound whiny and insecure. Stuff like word choice and the simple fact that his attitude turns on a dime. Naruto does one nice thing and the creature wants to be buddies?
You came close with the "I'll be trapped for a hundred years; you'll just be dead" line, but every other piece of dialogue was predictable. Your version of Neklos in tTYE was scary, but Kurama is kinda lame.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (20 hours later)
Hm. Okay, I can understand what you're seeing. Thanks for the tip; I'll see what I can do in future scenes.
u/IomKg [+1] (19 hours later)
I thought that it might be problematic, but I figured this falls into the "wise reading" mentioned on the right so I wrote it anyway.. If I'll have time I might try figuring out what exactly bothered me in it..
u/avret [+2] SDHS rationalist (17 hours later)
Wait, Naruto's treewalking stunt actually did significant damage to Kyuubi? What? Either my mental image of the exponential cost of treewalking was way off, or the chakra that techniques take is weirdly balanced, because I was not picturing that treewalk taking massively more chakra than an overcharged bijudama.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (17 hours later)
I've actually got a mathematical definiton for all the chakra things that I've used so far; it lets me keep track of who can do what and how often.
Yes, the amount of chakra that trick used was absurd. The Bijuu are immensely powerful, but there are still limits. When you stray into 10 digits, even the Nine-Tails needs to stop and reconsider his life choices.
EDIT: fixed incorrect counting of digits.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (22 hours later)
If treewalking from 3 feet is ten digits, what's treewalking from normal range? And what would, say, a shadow clone be?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Treewalking is normally done at a range of 1/4" and costs almost nothing. It gets more expensive fast as you move away, because the distance in inches is an exponent.
Shadow clones are ridiculously expensive, but most of it is an overhead factor. Creating one shadow clone is very roughly half a million, and an average jonin can create on the order of 5 without falling over. (Again, the vast majority of the cost is the overhead; the individual clones are cheap in comparison which is why Naruto can spam them.)
u/avret [+2] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Ok, so (cost-of-treewalking)^36 is on the order of 10^10. Naruto can easily perform kage bunshin (on the order of 10^5, or C-O-T^18). So Naruto can treewalk at 18 inches with the same ease he uses the shadow clone technique?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
I'd rather not go too far into the exact numbers, but the real answer is that Naruto is not going to be using the treewalking-headcrusher trick much, if at all, because he doesn't get to see the underlying rules/math. He has no way of knowing whether a particular use will be a walk in the park or another 10-digit drain.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Ok, that's perfectly fair(the obvious munchkining step of testing steadily farther distances is OOC for him).
u/eaglejarl [+5] (a day later)
It would (will) occur to Shino, though. Naruto just won't do it on a person.
u/avret [+2] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
That's a scene I'm very much looking forward to, then.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
Good. Actually, I've already got in mind a couple of other battle tactics that I want the kids to figure out, so there will be a reasonably goodly bit of them experimenting.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Excellent. I await it eagerly. Also, what did you find out about the kyuubi that hasn't been experimented with in fanfic before? It can't be the senjutsu stuff, nor can it be anything yin/yang related...
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
To be clear: I haven't seen it, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been used somewhere. New ideas are remarkably scarce; every time I think I've had one I discover that someone else did it first.
That said, take a look at Kurama's entry on the wiki and see if you can spot it.
u/avret [+2] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
So I'm trying to find something based on your unknown level of fanon knowledge, somewhere on a large wiki page, with next to no knowledge about what I'm looking for? cracks knuckles Well, time to get started.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
snicker
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Before I begin: have you read anything by kenchi618? That'll cut out a lot...
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
I haven't, but I'll start now. Thanks for the pointer; I'd been looking to branch out. Do you recommend one in particular?
EDIT: Holy crap, these things are huge.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
That they are. I started with sealed kunai, but better left unsaid is probably better, as is #1 hyperactive. Fullmetal shinobi is mediocre-good.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Just read the intro on #1. He is "a trained killer" (I take that to mean a soldier -- at least, I hope so) and he got into a fist fight with, and nearly choked out, his little brother...and he's bragging about it on the Internet? Good lord.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
he is...certainly not somebody I'd emulate. EDIT: he's not a soldier(I don't think), just someone with a good deal of MMA training
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Yeesh. The fact that he consider MMA training "to kill" is only slightly less disturbing than the way he uses it.
On consideration, I don't think I want to read his stuff.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
ok, that's fair
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Oh, and my bet right now is that it has to do with Kyuubi's absorption of natural chakra.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Nope. I try not to do spoilers, but I'll just tell you rather than driving you nuts with guessing games. It's this bit
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Ah. Interesting, I don't think I've seen that before in fanon either.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
Hopefully when you talk about treewalking from a distance, you don't actually mean being able to hold yourself off of a plane like a superconducting levitator. That strikes me as being much more unstable, without the benefit of your flesh being right there to act as an anchor for the field.
In my own formulation, I imagine treewalking as being attractive only, and the field is applied only partially over the surface of your feet, depending on where you stand in relation to gravity. So if you're facing the sky, your soles are activated, while your heels support your weight (naturally some musculature enhancement has to be present to counteract the massive leverage). If your side is to the ground, the foot nearest the ground is supporting you while the foot above is activated. And if you're standing upside-down, both of your feet are activated.
I'm not sure how much I remember my structural mechanics, but I think that would make standing upside-down cost twice as much as standing sideways?
Anyway, in my formulation, I'm not really sure how putting too much chakra in would result in explosions. Maybe there's a critical density for chakra or something.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Check chapter 1. That's exactly what I described except that yes, you can both push and pull.
As to "explosions", I don't recall if I've used that exact word but, if so, it was mostly metaphor. Naruto has pulled too hard and crushed big chunks of tree / roof. He's also pushed too hard, in which case he blasts a chunk out of the surface and sends himself flying. In both cases some bits get thrown around, but it's not technically an explosion.
u/Transfuturist [+1] Carthago delenda est. (a day later)
I don't see how pushing is anything but a waste of chakra. What exactly does it contribute to the mechanics of the situation?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Go back and read chapter 1. This is all covered.
u/derefr [+1] (a day later)
Is the tree walking limitation just an inverse-distance formula, as if it were a point-source of radiated energy? If so, could you do... coherent treewalking? (That'd just be a long-range "kinetic" chakra scalpel, wouldn't it?)
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Canon has plenty of cutting ranged techniques...it seems just like a way more expensive nonelemental version of most wind jutsu.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Treewalking is straight up push / pull, so not cutting. And it's not really going to work at any notable range -- three feet hurt the Kyuubi quite badly and flattened Naruto.
u/fortycakes [+2] (2 days later)
How come Hinata didn't spot Anko before they arrived back at the cottage? I thought she was keeping the Byakugan on at all times while they were in Sound, or was I mistaken about that? I would have expected either her or Shino to detect Anko's presence first and at least attempt to come up with a plan to get into the cottage without being detected.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (2 days later)
Anko had rock clones posted on the other sides of the cottage. It just wasn't relevant enough to show.
What is it with you and spotting plot holes? First 2YE, now TA, yeesh. :P