2.8 KiB
[RT][MK][FF] Roll the Dice on Fate (Once Again)
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Author: u/FuguofAnotherWorld Roll the Dice on Fate*
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URL: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/roll-the-dice-on-fate-naruto-si.348922/
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Score: 9
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Created: 2015-07-23T16:55:28
Post:
Comments:
u/Solonarv [+7] Chaos Legion (7 hours later)
This seems pretty good so far, I must say!
The whole 'chakra brain' thing did seem a bit odd at first, but thinking about it the 'verse does have sentient shadowclones, which are made of chakra...
Also, if Time Braid (Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata are in a time loop) isn't already one of your influences spoilers, I'd recommend you read it. Heck, add these to the previous statement:
- Waves Arisen: smart/bookworm Naruto, rebalanced shadow/earth/water clones, chakra numbers, rampant dojutsu swapping, Naruto/Sasuke/Hinata are Team Kakashi
- Team Anko: rebalanced shadowclones, characters are actually not stupid, Orochimaru isn't just a power-hungry jerk, Naruto/Hinata/Shino are Team Anko
I encourage you to keep writing, if only because I enjoy a good munchkin story.
u/FuguofAnotherWorld [+1] Roll the Dice on Fate (15 hours later)
Glad you like it. I've read them all, they were really very good though I got pretty damn squicked out by the rampant mind rape and brain washing near the end of time braid and never finished it. It's just kinda hideous to me.
u/FuguofAnotherWorld [+2] Roll the Dice on Fate (7 minutes later)
I thought I'd share a story I've started writing. It's an attempt to stick a rational character with (some) foreknowledge into Naruto to see what happens. There's a saying that villains act and heroes react, I've always hated that saying. It's young yet, but I'm hoping to have the characters start driving their own confrontations at some point instead of waiting to have them plonked on their laps in the form of missions.
I've got a fair plan of what's to come and I fully expect to make things hard for my character. I'm also of the opinion that no-one takes a fight scene seriously until you kill off a few characters in the middle of one. Otherwise known as the Game of Thrones effect.
u/None [+2] (12 hours later)
Hello! I like the concept, the plot, and the execution so far!
However, there are some technical problems - for example, you switch tenses for no reason sometimes. Nothing drastic, but I advise you to spend some time editing each chapter.
This is good, keep on writing!
u/FuguofAnotherWorld [+1] Roll the Dice on Fate (15 hours later)
That's fair, I could really do with finding some betas really.
Regardless, I Shall Continue my Writing with the Power of Youth!