15 KiB
[Weekly Challenge] "The Chessmaster"
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Author: u/alexanderwales Time flies like an arrow*
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/3f39xs/weekly_challenge_the_chessmaster/
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Score: 26
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Created: 2015-07-29T22:58:12
Post:
Last Week
Last time, the prompt was "Rational Horror". /u/JackStargazer is the winner with his story "The Real You", and will receive a month of reddit gold along with super special winner flair. Congratulations /u/JackStargazer! (Now is a great time to go to that thread and look at the entries you may have missed, especially the late entrants; contest mode is now disabled.)
This Week
The prompt for next week is "The Chessmaster". This is the character with layers upon layers of deception and backup plans for when the backup plans fail. Sometimes, being the chessmaster means sacrificing a few pawns. Other times, it means recognizing which piece is really the king. For more, see the entry at TVTropes. Remember, prompts are to inspire, not to limit.
The winner will be decided Wednesday, August 5th. You have until then to post your reply and start accumulating upvotes. It is strongly suggested that you get your entry in as quickly as possible once this thread goes up; this is part of the reason that prompts are given a week in advance.
Rules
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300 word minimum, no maximum. Post as a link to Google Docs, pastebin, Dropbox, etc. This is mandatory.
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No plagiarism, but you're welcome to recycle and revamp your own ideas you've used in the past.
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Think before you downvote.
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Winner will be determined by "best" sorting.
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Winner gets reddit gold, special winner flair, and bragging rights.
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All top-level replies to this thread should be submissions. Non-submissions (including questions, comments, etc.) belong in the meta thread, and will be aggressively removed from here.
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Top-level replies must be a link to Google Docs, a PDF, your personal website, etc. It is suggested that you include a word count and a title when you're linking to somewhere else.
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In the interest of keeping the playing field level, please refrain from cross-posting to other places until after the winner has been decided.
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No idea what rational fiction is? Read the wiki!
Meta
If you think you have a good prompt for a challenge, add it to the list (remember that a good prompt is not a recipe). If you think that you have a good modification to the rules, let me know in a comment in the meta thread. Also, if you want a quick index of past challenges, I've posted them on the wiki.
Next Week
Next week's prompt is "Clones, Clones, and Clones!". Whether through literal cloning, time travel shenanigans, or multiplication superpowers, one person (or multiple people) ends up with multiple copies running around - perhaps with divergent goals.
Next week's thread will go up on 8/5. Please confine any questions or comments to the meta thread.
Comments:
u/Kishoto [+45] (9 hours later)
2654 words
u/EliezerYudkowsky [+9] Godric Gryffindor (23 hours later)
This is publishable quality!
u/Kishoto [+5] (a day later)
That's high praise coming from you E.Y. Thanks! :)
u/kulyok [+3] (8 days later)
A great story. (found it through EY's post history, not surprisingly) Thank you so much for writing it! I hope you'll publish this one and many more after it.
Found one typo, "we can get going Gavin" - comma missing.
It would've made a fine beginning of a fine novel. Or, rather, as someone Gavin-like might've put it -
Too bad it probably wouldn't make a novel. The protagonists are too powerful; nothing could ever be a challenge for them. Indeed. Such a pity. Sigh. I could be a good beta-reader for that one, too.
u/Kishoto [+1] (8 days later)
Thanks for the feedback!
I'll be a bit shameless and mention that I've written another story for this week's challenge, so you should check it out. :)
And as far as a novel goes, if I were to expand, it would have to transcend any domestic threats. It'd probably become more about inter-Organization conflict or external threats. As it stands, the local country is their territory. And there's nothing to be done. Only reason it isn't out of hand is because of the one per person rule and the implicit unknown payments. It's easier for a noble to hire some mercenaries than to make a request. You don't want to know what happens if you don't pay the Organization.
u/None [+2] (a day later)
Ok, that was damned brilliant. And just a touch sociopathic :-p.
u/Kishoto [+2] (a day later)
Thanks man! :) And I feel to be a proper chess master, at least when it comes to dealing with humans, u have to be at least a little sociopathic. Otherwise you have a board full of kings and anyone could checkmate you
u/None [+3] (a day later)
There's an appropriate quote from Shinji and Warhammer 40k about that, actually. Something like, "So make them your knights, bishops, rooks, and queens!"
u/Kishoto [+1] (a day later)
I've never read it, but based on that quote, you sure it wasn't something about them being all pawns?
u/None [+3] (a day later)
It was Shinji telling the Eldar Farseer in his head that he doesn't want to treat people as pawns like Gendo. The bit I quoted was the Eldar's response.
u/None [+1] (a day later)
Locci
Pronounced, I presume, "Loki"?
Very clever story. I like the air of the setting, and the Opposed live up to the villainous feel of their name. And the usage of -X- as your break was a very nice touch. Overall fantastic. I'd just like to know what Gavin's fourth manipulo-request was!
u/None [+0] (a day later)
I thought it was a more Rennaissance setting, so it would then be "Loch-chi."
u/None [+1] (a day later)
Well, obviously. But there's no records of any Locci god that I can tell, and the description seems similar enough to our familiar old trickster king. If there's an alternate etymology, I'd be very interested.
u/Kishoto [+5] (a day later)
Locci is indeed inspired by Loki. But not in universe, mostly just in my head. It was a bit of a wink through the fourth wall, I suppose. Although, it is pronounced Low-Kye instead of Low-Key.
For those interested, below is a brief summary of
[](#s "Gavin basically did his "Gavin" thing and manipulated one of his father's corrupt advisors into requesting his older brother, Travis, their father's heir, be assassinated. He did this by convincing the advisor that Travis had discovered his skimming from the taxes and planned to report him to their father, once he returned from his voyage. Gavin said he would keep quiet for a cut of the skimming, but implied that Travis would be immune to bribery, as he had a reputation for being just, loyal and noble. And he didn't directly suggest using the Opposed, but made his usual allusions. The advisor requested his assassination, but the Opposed did it by sinking the vessel he was on, which was their family's most valuable ship. This made Gavin furious, and that rage, combined with the fact that he didn't like the advisor for skimming his family's money, led him to plant evidence of the advisor's treachery in his chambers. He then purposely got into a fight with the advisor, and killed him. He explained he'd discovered what the advisor had been up to, and went to confront him alone, playing up his foolishly noble heroism. The advisor then attacked him, to try and ensure his permanent silence. The planted evidence sealed the advisor's fate and Gavin was officially sworn in as the heir, along with the praise he got for rooting out the corruption.")
u/None [+2] (a day later)
TL;DR: Gavin fucking snapped. Hot damn.
u/Kishoto [+2] (2 days later)
Haha.
u/ancientcampus [+1] juggling kittens (7 days later)
Oh wow. I didn't realize the implication that, well, one position doesn't preclude the other. Nice.
u/NotTheDarkLord [+1] (5 days later)
Any plans to make a longer story with this idea? It's excellent!
u/Kishoto [+3] (5 days later)
Approximately 0 plans to expand this into a full story. My attention span is notoriously short (making these short story contests a perfect outlet for me)
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (6 days later)
If you don't win I'll be exceptionally surprised. Ah well, at least I'm happy with what I wrote.
u/ourimaler [+11] (6 days later)
3119 words
u/Kishoto [+6] (7 days later)
I really enjoyed this!
Just to give some constructive criticism, it seems a bit unlikely to me
Also, you seem a bit late to the party, what happened?
u/ourimaler [+2] (7 days later)
I'm not a very fast writer, I'm afraid. ^^'
I'll concede it's got its flaws. Some of them are born of the fact that I was trying to recycle the plot of another story of mine into a different sort of setting.
u/Kishoto [+2] (7 days later)
Flaws or not, it was still a great read. I only pointed out those flaws because I was trying to contribute. It was pretty damn good, imo.
u/ourimaler [+1] (7 days later)
Thank you. Though I'm still happier with the original version. ;)
u/avret [+6] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
1059 words.
u/BadGoyWithAGun [+1] (a day later)
I enjoyed this, reminded me of this story I read a while ago.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (a day later)
Thanks for the link--I'll have to read that sometime.
Also, thanks! Anything in particular you liked/disliked?
u/BadGoyWithAGun [+2] (a day later)
A little bit on the abstract side for my taste - hard to fit much exposition in a short story, but some is better than none.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (2 days later)
Ok--if i have more time I might add some fake news articles.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (4 days later)
I didn't realize until most of the way through that italics and regular were the two different sides -- I thought regular were official reports and italics were in-person discussion. It made for a confusing read.
One minor nit that I noticed was that bomber group AA was both to advance and await orders.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (4 days later)
Thanks for the response! With regards to the first--how do I make that more clear? Is there any way to do so without just straight out naming the sides?
With regards to the second--Which day?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (4 days later)
The duplicate was here:
Day 5 Bombing groups A-AA: Cover the advance of the armored units. Bombing groups AA-AD: Await orders."
As to making it more clear, maybe something like this?
(Regular) All H-class battleships: Begin shelling at 0200 to cover landfall, focus initially on AAA batteries.
All bombing groups: Begin airstrikes at 0300.(Italics) Sir, forward recon reports a major enemy push coming. We've sighted a naval force, mix of battleships and transports; looks like they're trying for a land assault. There's a bomber group immediately behind them, and at current speed they'll arive an hour after the ships.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (4 days later)
Ok, thanks. Is it worthwhile to change either now?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (4 days later)
Totally up to you. I probably would, if it were my story, though.
u/avret [+1] SDHS rationalist (4 days later)
Ok.
u/None [+7] (a day later)
A succinct 440 words
u/Kishoto [+2] (a day later)
I've never really watched Dr Who, but I feel like you did a great job here justifying how he can save the world so often while still appearing so personable and casual.
u/None [+1] (a day later)
Thanks! Glad it served its purpose :)
u/qznc [+2] Chaos Legion (7 days later)
That seems to be a Worm reference.