10 KiB
Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Chapter 22: The Decisive Path, Part I
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/22/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 43
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Created: 2015-08-01T11:53:18
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+6] (20 days later)
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u/DaystarEld [+6] Pokémon Professor (20 days later)
Hey, thanks for posting! I often wonder how many people go through the story wanting to write reviews for each chapter and deciding against it because it's "old" already, but for me at least the feedback is as valuable as ever :)
I'd be happy with you slowing this down (not the frequency of updates but the speed of time passing in-universe) and dragging it out and elaborating on tiny details and offshoots of stories and keeping this work going indefinitely. I really, really enjoy it and want to keep reading it for as long as possible.
The ideal is to try to be as concise as possible while still including everything I think is interesting or entertaining, but striking the right balance can be hard and I definitely tend toward "more is more" rather than "less is more." If I do err on the wrong side of the tracks though, glad to hear that at least some people don't mind the length!
My current big question is whether Dark trainers are weak to Fighting Pokemon in any respect or if the similarity to Pokemon strength/weaknesses is relegated to the interaction between these three specific types.
The problem with testing this hypothesis is that fighting pokemon tend to be really strong relative to a human, so judging the effect of getting hit by one is kind of hard when all the results will tend toward extreme damage. If you want Word of God on the topic though, I'm tending toward "yes" right now.
I don't know how long this is going to be feasible for, but I enjoy being able to keep track of everyone's Pokemon inventory.
It's struggle, to be sure. I don't know if it's fair to expect readers to have a list of character inventory, both pokemon and items, kept out of the story so they're constantly aware of what tools they have at their disposal, but for now I intend to try to keep detailing it out.
Leaf lying about the hootowl didn't fit my internal model of her at all. Even after later finding out about how she made this right (which did fit my internal model of her and was very nice) it struck me as odd how she handled it. I feel like she should have known that Red could handle the news, given that there were vastly more important things happening at the time.
It's one of those things that took me by surprise too. I was writing the chapter out as if she would tell him, and when the time came felt her balk in my mind at it. I was like "Really? You don't want to tell him?" and her response was a very clear no, out of a mix of sadness and shame. I don't pretend to completely understand my characters all the time, but since writers tend to err toward too-perfect characters, when mine reveal a flaw I tend to let them show it.
Are large Pokemon really rare enough that not splurging for at least one Great Ball per person makes sense?
Relatively speaking, yes: most pokemon found in the wild have less mass than a full grown adult, which is roughly where the greatball becomes necessary. And of those that are bigger than a pokeball can handle, a great many of them are too big for even a greatball to handle (an onix, for example). Unusual events aside, most people don't consider greatballs an integral part of a starting trainer's kit.
I like how Blue is so blinded by confidence that he believes himself to be exhibiting patience while also consciously deciding against going to a Poke center to give his Pokemon a rest. I was supposed to notice this cognitive dissonance, correct?
Absolutely, and you're one of the few commenting that did :) It's hard not to be too obvious about how unreliable a narrator Blue is when he's so overconfident and cocky.
Thanks for reading, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!
u/None [+1] (21 days later)
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u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (21 days later)
So there actually aren't "ghost minds" per se: people with an affinity for ghosts are psychic, but they often have a different philosophy or practice concerning their powers.
As for the interactions between psychic and dark minds and other types, that's treating all type interactions as substantive. The truth is more complex: many type interactions are just the result of different emergent properties when pokemon of different types interact. This will be exlained more in upcoming chapters :)
u/None [+3] (23 hours later)
I really like your battle descriptions. Please, keep going
u/None [+3] (2 days later)
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u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Agreed: the idea of just making it a game of survival against an unstoppable force was brilliant, and I have no intention of trying to one-up that, partly because I'm not sure I can :)
But additionally, it just doesnt fit the world I've built, where pokemon killing and eating eachother during an official match would be considered wasteful and bad form, not to mention poor control, on the Leader's part. In GoC Gym battles are far more about the spectacle and glory of the blood sport, while in mine they're about testing, training, and identifying competence, so that more people are prepared against the threat of wild pokemon.
All that said, I hope to make it as exciting and tense and all that good stuff as possible!
u/poppelstaden [+2] (4 days later)
Ah great! Love this fic, please continue :)!
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (36 seconds later)
Hey all, welcome back! Sorry for the late update! Started a new job this month and been super busy. On top of that, the chapter just kept growing as I wrote it, until I had to split it into two parts. It's kind of rough, so expect some major edits soon.
Another question that I've gotten a number of times and won't be able to address in the narrative: Biologically, people in general in the pokemon world are smarter and more mature, due to much more severe selective pressures in the form of deadly wild pokemon. Even beyond that, the circumstances that force kids to "grow up" faster in some aspects, such as early trauma or loss being so much more common, coupled with the early agency of being able to commit themselves to a professional path and goals, makes it so that kids in the Pokemon world are on average more mature than that of our modern day.
That isn't to say there are no kids in our world that would act this way. I believe there could be, and keep in mind that throughout history, some countries trained their kids for war from a young age: those young children would be almost impossible to compare to those in our society of the same age in regards to temperament and maturity. On top of all that, this is a story where the main characters are exceptional in a number of ways. So even in a society where kids are on average smarter and more mature, Red, Blue and Leaf are particularly gifted as well, through a mix of nature and nurture.
Keep the feedback coming, and enjoy!
u/4t0m [+2] Chaos Legion (10 hours later)
Yay, another update! Looking forward to part two!
Here are some typos I noticed:
- its doors slid open automatically -> slide
- He wants to preserve Squirtle's water as long as possible, and generally helps them avoid getting tired out. -> help
- (shut up Red, no one cares if it's "not an 'actual' allergy) -> missing closing quotation marks
- it releases a toxic sheen spores to kill them off -> maybe "a toxic sheen of spores"
- and the plat pokemon stares back -> plat?
- vines still stretched below the much overturned and pilfered through soil.. -> add or remove a period
- Her pokemon tries , -> remove the space before the comma, or maybe you were going to add a few more words?
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (10 hours later)
All fixed, thanks!
u/AmeteurOpinions [+1] Finally, everyone was working together. (38 minutes later)
Typo after the bubble attack, says "rocky skin where the bubbles it" instead of "hit".
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (10 hours later)
Fixed, thank you!
u/SometimesATroll [+1] (2 hours later)
Typo-"yrhydon" in the second line.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (10 hours later)
Ugh, can't believe I missed that. Thanks!
u/BSSolo [+1] (17 hours later)
Neat! I enjoyed this presentation of gym battling quite a bit, even though I'm still anxious to get back to Red's perspective. Thank you for another excellent chapter!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
Glad you liked it!
u/liamash3 [+1] Mizu (23 hours later)
The gym trainers were interesting, each battling Blue only to a certain point, as if probing him in an attempt to assess how he reacts in various situations and type matchups. I wonder if all Gym shall be portrayed like this?
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
Each Gym operates a bit differently, but they very much are places for training and assessment more than anything.
u/noggin-scratcher [+1] I am a happy tree (5 days later)
Makes sense of the experience in the games, where a kid who's barely started can "beat" a gym full of experienced trainers, up to and including the local Leader.
If they're really just testing for competence before awarding a badge then having them holding back from full strength, and using lower levelled pokemon than their 'personal' team, allows for a victory that doesn't break any suspension of disbelief.
u/None [+1] (5 days later)
Hey thanks for writing this I am enjoying your work.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
No problem! Glad you enjoyed it :)
u/None [+1] (20 days later)
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u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (20 days later)
Thanks a lot, I'll go through and fix them when I get home :)