4.9 KiB
[FF] Parody of Stargate Atlantis
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11361802/11/What-if-SG-1-weren-t-stupid
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Score: 4
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Created: 2015-08-01T14:55:35
Post:
Comments:
u/bbrazil [+5] NERV (an hour later)
http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/122553.html is the take on the first episode mentioned.
u/None [+1] (7 hours later)
That was amazing. I'm so disappointed it was a one shot.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (7 hours later)
I know, right? I wouldn't have started watching Atlantis if it were for that story. She's absolutely right, too--our heroes came sauntering through the gate, taking time to lolligag and rubberneck instead of getting their stuff in and through ASAP.
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (9 hours later)
That was awesome. No continuation?
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a minute later)
Finished SG-1, moved on to Stargate Atlantis. Not as good, but still amusing, and plenty of mockability. I'm not even hitting the "with this level of disobedience to orders, how is it that Sheppard wasn't dishonorably discharged?" issue, and there's still fun to be had.
u/Nepene [+1] (an hour later)
That was pretty silly of them.
http://www.wikihow.com/Detect-Hidden-Cameras-and-Microphones
This would probably be my first recourse if I had such a problem. Try to find a secret transmitter.
u/Lugnut1206 [+1] (13 hours later)
There's no following chapter for seasons 9 or 10 because there was no massive stupidity in there to mock. I think there were four or five mockable episodes that I never wrote up, but check this out: Ten years of this show, 213 episodes, and I can count on one hand the number of episodes worthy of mockery. (Granted, I can count on my fingers in binary.)
That's up to, what, 63 episodes? That's 30%.
Eh, still better than most shows.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (13 hours later)
Max of 31 on one hand, actually. (1-2-4-8-16 from thumb to pinky.) Point being, the ten chapters that I did, plus 3-5 others that I could have but didn't, and that was it for really stupid episodes. Sure, there were a few moments of non-brilliance here and there in other episodes, but none of them were so big or so frequent within a single episode that they deserved a chapter.
u/Lugnut1206 [+1] (13 hours later)
Ugh, I overshoot the binary estimates literally every time.
u/None [+0] (2 hours later)
[deleted]
u/eaglejarl [+1] (3 hours later)
Yep.
They don't make as good a primary villain though. They're all alike, and they're all pychotic killers with no other personality traits; they aren't as interesting as the Goa'uld and not as terrifying as the replicators.
u/JackStargazer [+1] Primordial Apologist (2 days later)
Most of their solutions feel a little Deus Ex Machina-ey, too, like how they magically adapt to the Asgard beaming nukes tech they had never seen before (Ancients didn't have it) just in time to make that fight still plot important.
That and the fact that the Ancients are the most Neglectful of all of the Neglectful Precursor races in fiction.
They're so bad, that that TvTropes entry has a whole subcategory just for Stargate SG-1. They make the race that invented the Mass Effect Reapers look calm and forward thinking.
I think almost every major plot point and doomsday device in the series is in one way or another based on the utter incompetence of the Ancients:
- Goa'uld salvaged Ancient Tech and used Stargates.
- Dakara Superweapon
- Anything to do with Time Travel ruining everything.
- Replicators
- Project Arcturus
- Serita (The creepy Ascended stalker guy's world).
- The Wraith - created, lost to, then didn't smite the shit out of when they enabled godmode.
- DNA Resequencers left lying around, allowed Anubis to Ascend.
- Anubis lies in order to get ascension, gets sent back as immortal superbeing with knowledge of Ancient Tech. Daniel gets ascension through heroic sacrifice, does more heroic sacrifice, gets depowered and dumped naked and amnesiatic in front of his friends. We're getting into abuse here.
- Hallowed are the Ori.
- Speaking of which, Prior Plague, Supergates, psionic powers and the San'Graal. Plus the universal brain washing machine.
- Everything that happens in Destiny, if that show had ever happened, which it obviously did not.
As the link says:
So, the prosecution suggests we extend the verdict to Guilty, guilty, hypocritical Lawful Stupid Energy Being scumbags. Thankfully, the Ancients turned out to be so neglectful they actually left behind the keys to creating the sangra'al, a device capable of destroying themselves. All in favor of capital punishment?