11 KiB
[FF][RST] Team Anko, chapter 16
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Author: u/eaglejarl *
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Score: 18
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Created: 2015-08-02T08:19:04
Post:
Comments:
u/MadScientist14159 [+9] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (4 hours later)
Kurama continues to be a lying liar who lies, and Orochimaru is a team 8 polyshipper (apparently).
u/eaglejarl [+1] (18 hours later)
Out of curiosity, which part did you feel was a lie?
u/MadScientist14159 [+6] WIP: Sodium Hypochlorite (Rational Bleach) Eventually. Maybe. (a day later)
The part where his lips were moving.
u/None [+5] (a day later)
You underestimate his ability to convey falsehoods with body language alone, sir.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Heh.
u/Putnam3145 [+2] (23 hours later)
the Ten-Tails, a primordial entity from beyond time.
either something's different from canon or he's playing up his ancientness for some reason
the former seems somehow more likely
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
You are correct. In the canon version of events, Rabbit made a deal with the Ten-Tails to retrieve the chakra from her sons. Instead, he went rampaging off. That sounds like a summoning (demon-style, not animal contract) gone wrong to me, as though Rabbit called up something that she couldn't control / that slipped through a loophole in the summoning agreement.
u/Jello_Raptor [+4] The Last Tool User (3 hours later)
Bahaha, I love your Shino. He's turned his bugs into routers, lord knows where they keep the routing tables, what their frame format is, or what their addressing scheme is. Not to mention mesh networking is hard.
Have the Aburame invented some analogue of general purpose computing yet? Their bugs seems more than capable of it.
u/PeridexisErrant [+12] put aside fear for courage, and death for life (4 hours later)
Kikai Neural networks! Other ninj-puters include the Naruto Beowulf cluster, i/o compression via Sharingan genjutsu, the Universal Sarutobi Bojutsu standard, Konan's Microservices, and
rm -rf /*with Danzo.Honestly, there's a crack Tron crossover waiting to happen...
u/eaglejarl [+3] (9 hours later)
Naruto Beowulf cluster
Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of Slashdots?
u/liamash3 [+4] Mizu (3 hours later)
Hah, so Kurama was tricking Naruto earlier! Although he didn't have ill intent, which was a bit of a surprise. I'm pretty curious what his imprisonment within Kushina was like, and whether he got staked-in-his-everything as per canon...
The discussion on sexuality was interesting, and something I haven't found touched upon in stories much. People seem to avoid discussing anything related to the topic, from various bodily functions like peeing, pooping and monthly periods in the case of girls to...well, what you covered here, relationships beyond the binary one-guy one-girl partnership. As to why Orochimaru asked Shino to ask Anko about this, though...I admit I have no clue.
Naruto's bumbling attempts at romance are sweet, especially when he puts his foot in it and admits he's mainly doing this because Kurama said so. I wonder what the other tailed beast hosts are like here? Do they get along with their prisoners?
u/LeonCross [+12] (6 hours later)
It actually felt...a touch out of place? Like, all the rest of the big expositions and what not have felt directly related to this naruto setting, where as this poly discussion seemed more like...a lecture on poly to the readers.
u/Nevereatcars [+6] The Greatest Is Behind (3 days later)
It felt alot like reading HPMoR again.
u/Jello_Raptor [+8] The Last Tool User (3 hours later)
The sexuality speech actually went in one ear and out the other with me
It's almost exactly my spiel when people ask me about being polyamorous, albeit with fewer engineering metaphors involving chaotic instability and fixed points. It's far from abnormal for me, so I sometimes forget that that's not true for others.
My initial expectation, especially given that it's to Shino is to cause him to want or expect a polyamorous relationship with Hinata, and muck up the dynamic of the team. However Shino seems like both the only viable candidate for such a tactic, and one of the least likely to fall for it. He's more than reasonable enough to realize that being able to fall in love with multiple people (like most do) means that fixating on one person who doesn't reciprocate is a easy route to unhappiness.
Of course, Orochimaru is probably of the "one level higher than you" archetype.
I wonder what the other tailed beast hosts are like here? Do they get along with their prisoners?
In canon, doesn't Killer B get along with his biiju?
u/PeridexisErrant [+7] put aside fear for courage, and death for life (4 hours later)
Hah, so Kurama was tricking Naruto earlier! Although he didn't have ill intent, which was a bit of a surprise.
Rather, he claims not to have had ill intent - and that after Shino pointed out the earlier lie. I do not trust Powers! Especially those known for their embodiment of malice...
u/Tholo [+2] (7 hours later)
As to why Orochimaru asked Shino to ask Anko about this, though...I admit I have no clue.
View the conversation as a Checkoff's gun, apply it to the only possible subjects of future need, and then extrapolate a motive.
u/rumblestiltsken [+0] (9 days later)
As to why orochimaru asked shino...
I thought it was just because there is a naru/hina/shino love triangle going on, and it mirrors anko's exactly (unless the boys end up yaoi-ing).
I assumed it was another way to ingratiate himself to shino and maybe disrupt his konoha socialisation with something more trivial than human vivisection.
u/Kishoto [+2] (16 hours later)
I'm having so much trouble trusting Kurama, even though what he's saying makes rational sense. T_T
u/eaglejarl [+1] (12 minutes later)
Technically it's Sunday now; I'm traveling this evening, so I figured I'd drop the chapter now instead of having it niggling at me later while I'm packing, cleaning up, and all that good stuff.
Enjoy!
u/zajhein [+1] (22 hours later)
This story confuses me often when you bring up past events that aren't canon, yet the reader is supposed to be familiar with it. Such as the sage putting the tailed beats in hosts, or Kurama wanting to have a civil relationship with his host, since there are many options that could be possible but all have different meanings and consequences.
Are you purposefully changing canon for your story as you go? Did you forget what events actually happened in canon? Are Kurama and other characters purposefully lying about past events, or are they possibly forgetting what actually happened?
As for the relationship stuff, it seems quite arbitrary why some team members suddenly start liking each other except for you to explore love triangles in your own way. Similar to how Naruto likes Sakura in canon but never has a reason except, "she's pretty!"
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
I added a note in chapter one explaining that two of the characters have had personality transplants to make them more interesting; by now it should be clear that I was talking about Kurama and Orochimaru. The Sannin is a "one level higher than you" type, and the Fox is...well, that's still unfolding.
This story confuses me often when you bring up past events that aren't canon, yet the reader is supposed to be familiar with it.
If this were a regular novel and not a fanfic, would you be confused? That is, do you feel that things have been unfairly explained, or are you only wondering what is the same as canon? If the latter, I would suggest just rolling with it unless it bothers you so much that you don't want to read any more.
Are you purposefully changing canon for your story as you go?
In some places, yes. There's a list of the major ones in the Author's Note at the bottom of chapter one. And yes, the Sage did seal the bijuu in my version.
relationships
I'm guessing you mean that Shino has developed a crush on Hinata. Do you find it unreasonable for a teenage boy in his situation, or are you simply bothered that it wasn't part of canon?
u/zajhein [+1] (a day later)
I realized early on the personality changes were obviously your creation and rolled with it as many ff do that, but the history some characters tell is confusing in that it's not explained as actual history from the author we can trust. Whether it's different from canon, or if they're simply lying and we'll never find out they're lying until you specifically reveal what you've changed later on, which makes their lies or manipulations irellivant.
Much like when Kurama lied to Naruto how he couldn't manipulate his legs very well, which could be completely true in your world (not really in canon), but the reader has no clue when you're changing things or not, so any reveals or surprises are simply a reveal or surprise that you decided to keep something or change it, rather than interesting character building or a plot twist.
There's not much hint for rules or what's really going on except that anything can happen. Like a child's daydream, one moment you're sipping tea with dragons and the next you're on Mars where they're really grey aliens feeding you poison. I exaggerate and I'm rambling now, but I hope you see the idea I'm trying to get across. People have expectations and there's no way to tell when you're subverting, fulfilling, or simply ignoring them.
As for the relationships, they seemed to be out of character for both Naruto and Shino to suddenly start liking Hinata ( randomly kissing her and calling her beautiful in Naruto's case) in, what has it been, less than a month or two? You've tried to add some intimacy and forced physical contact between them at times, but it still seems forced to mimic or resemble your creation of Anko's relationships, especially when they're so young and emotionally stunted with no experience in a relationship.
Sorry if this comes across as tons of complaining, but I do like your story. I just get annoyed at instant relationships and hand wavy rules.
u/eaglejarl [+1] (a day later)
Hm. All right, thank you for that. As far as rules for the magic go, I'm afraid there's probably not much that can be done to satisfy you -- there aren't really any rules in canon, either. I have a set of math underlying my system so it will at least be consistent, but I don't think there is a plausible way for all the details to be revealed.
u/JackStargazer [+1] Primordial Apologist (a day later)
Clever Sensei indeed, Anko, Clever Sensei indeed.
Also the first use of IPOEC - IP over Exoskeletal Carriers.
u/BSaito [+1] (7 days later)
Much as I'm loving this fic, I'm hoping we to see less of the polyamory stuff in the future. The whole conversation on the topic felt like reading a brochure or propaganda piece.