1.6 KiB
I wrote this a few years back and am considering starting up again, could use some feedback to see if it's worth bothering with.
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Author: u/None *
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URL:
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Score: 16
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Created: 2015-08-02T18:50:36
Post:
Comments:
u/GrecklePrime [+1] (5 hours later)
Two chapters in and I'm really enjoying it! Not sure how far you've gotten so far but if the quality keeps up I'd certainly be game for more! More detailed comments when I'm not on my phone reading alone in a restaurant.
u/Qwertzcrystal [+1] assume a clever flair (23 hours later)
I really enjoyed the existing chapters. If you continue this, you will have at least one reader in me.
I like how the plot doesn't take long to kick off, but the story still takes time to let us "smell the roses" with exposition or tidbits like the thing with the arm. As far as plot pacing is concerned, it's exactly the right speed.
There are a few typos or missing words, but nothing an editor/beta-reader can't fix and they are not impeding flow too much anyway.
My two cents of constructive advice: Don't tease too much about the 'verse, that won't be explained in the following paragraphs. I now really want to know how "nuking the holy land" turned out in this 'verse, but it doesn't seem likely to be brought up again anytime soon. If it's completely unrelated to the plot or not important to the characters, don't bring it up. Readers are hungry for explanations.
u/traverseda [+1] With dread but cautious optimism (a day later)
Just got to this now. Do continue.