4.9 KiB
[RT][HSF] Set In Stone: Follower Epilogue Rational Stonepunk Backstory rewritten as Prologue
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Author: u/Farmerbob1 Level 1 author*
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URL: https://setinstonestory.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/backstory-revamped-into-prologue/
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Score: 7
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Created: 2015-10-08T22:04:18
Post:
Comments:
u/xamueljones [+4] My arch-enemy is entropy (6 hours later)
Correction:
“That’s j just st st stupid, Allen.” Molly stuttered,
This reads a little oddly without any dashes to mark the stuttering.
“That’s j-just st-st-stupid, Allen.” Molly stuttered,
I don't know which would be a better choice.
Keeping the backstory separate as an appendix works as a section for interested readers who wanted to know more about the story. Putting it in the prologue forces readers to learn about the background when I enjoyed starting the story with a blank slate and enjoyed teasing out clues about the setting. Also I think there's some information loss when we're reading it from a 7-year-old's perspective. I don't see the backstory as a necessity which all readers have to read before jumping into the story.
On the other hand, a lot more information was easily remembered and was more palatable than a direct info dump. In addition, there was a lot more focus on the family dynamics which I felt the story could have used more of before Allen left to go to war. Also you nicely show how much stress Allen's history has caused him, when in the story itself his history of violence is only noticed when dealing with Rikard and others in the army.
I'm very on the fence about it, but my preferred choice would be to have both back stories included with the 'info dump' one as an appendix (maybe written as an excerpt from a university history class textbook). I mean it'd be a waste to not have the one where you lovingly detail out all of the problems and difficulty in getting to and living on Nirvana.
u/Atilme [+2] (23 hours later)
Another correction:
many animals like docs, cats, and rats
That's the only one I saw though, just wanted to point it out!
u/callmebrotherg [+3] now posting as /u/callmesalticidae (6 hours later)
I understand what you're trying to do, but this is still really infodumpy, and because you're trying to hand it to us in the form of a story inside a story it's taking even longer to get through. If this had been by first time I would have stopped reading halfway through. :<
u/Farmerbob1 [+2] Level 1 author (a minute later)
As the title suggests, I took that ugly info-dumpy backstory, and turned it into a prologue that I hope will be both interesting and a little funny.
I'd appreciate your input, either here or in the blog!
u/Atilme [+2] (22 hours later)
I liked it. It made me realize how differently they view violence, and I would probably read the entire story in a different light if I read it again.
u/Farmerbob1 [+1] Level 1 author (a day later)
I like it too, but I don't like what it does to the beginning of the story. In commercial fiction, you have to grab the reader's attention quickly, and hold it. The book already has an intensity issue in the first half as it is currently written, which I am going to address in editing.
It will still be heavy on world-building, but it will be more intense. The prologue, as written, is not intense enough. I will try to incorporate bits of the prologue as flashbacks or fit in the world building I did there in different places. The backstory will stay much like it is now, and become an appendix along with the list of characters, and glossary of terms that I am building.
u/diraniola [+1] (11 minutes later)
So I haven't really been following this since these days I try to only read finished fiction. What is it about? What's the pitch? And should I read it now?
u/gommm [+2] (4 hours later)
Should you read it now? Yes, you should, it's with Shadows of the Limelight and Mother of Learning one of the best serialized fiction on this sub. For the pitch, just read this prologue, it's not too long, and you'll get a good idea of the world building :-)
Only thing is that after the first book, I'm left a bit hungry and I'm eagerly awaiting that Farmerbob1 finishes editing his other novel and gets back to write the next book :-)
u/Farmerbob1 [+1] Level 1 author (12 hours later)
I had not even considered it as an Appendix, following the rest of the story. I was still stuck in the mindset of either having a prologue, or an odd info-dump like Eric Flint does in 1632.
I believe I prefer the option of an Appendix, with details. I can link to it in a forward section, and advise that the reader has a choice to make.
I really appreciate you folks taking the time to read and comment.