22 KiB
Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Chapter 26 - The Right Questions
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/26/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 35
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Created: 2015-12-01T11:54:43
Post:
Comments:
u/daydev [+11] (7 hours later)
Regarding Patreon, I do small pledges ($1-2), and I kinda feel bad about it, because it seems on average people are pledging more, but:
that's about how much I feel I can afford (I'm outside of what is considered the "first world").
I think that's actually fair, for literary creators at least, considering that a typical 'mainstream' fiction ebook seems to cost in the vicinity of $10-20, so $1-2 per moth over the lifetime of a web novel would add up to about the market price.
So if you were to setup a Patreon, I'd give you $1/month, and expect nothing additional in return. And I think it's how it's ought to be: it's free, but you can pay what you like to support the creator, not pay for additional privileges.
u/DaystarEld [+12] Pokémon Professor (9 hours later)
Dude, don't feel bad about small pledges at all. Hell, people used to buy serial story installments for about that amount back in the old days. Considering the medium, and as someone who gives that amount myself to places like Wikipedia, I totally understand giving within what your budget allows. Rest assured that people being willing to give any amount at all is very appreciated and humbling.
u/Anakiri [+8] (22 hours later)
I like Kitto. He reads very much like a decent politician: blatantly scheming and evasive, but seemingly principled and not necessarily evil. The ending of his conversation with Leaf felt a bit abrupt to me. I think I expected him to try to get the last word, even if it's a nonanswer, but instead the conversation just stops dead. Maybe Leaf hit a nerve? But getting caught flatfooted by a child makes him look weak too. I'm interested in this political intrigue and learning what game is being played here.
Also, is that two references now to Pokemon Conquest, or just incidental references to the Sengoku period? The specific phrasing makes me think Conquest. I never seen anyone else who's heard of it!
(Completely unrelated, but Kitto recounting seeing the fossils first assembled makes me imagine that the Pokemon world went through the opposite of what ours did. The first reconstructions showed Rampardos horizontal with a bird-like posture and gait, but later findings show that it actually held itself erect with its tail dragging!)
I wonder if the Pokemon world is sufficiently utopian to publish studies with null results, or if the world is going to keep piling on the disheartening frustration. I'm not tired of Red getting disillusioned yet, though it might be getting close.
Shiftry continues to impress me with its intelligence, and push me further into Leaf's camp. I don't think most animals would be smart enough to prioritize Spinarak while they're being actively clawed at by something else. I'm not quite sure what Red and Blue think is cruel about what they did, though. Isn't that basically what you'd have to do to catch it in the first place in ordinary circumstances? Or are they just opposed to kicking it when it's down?
u/winkingseq [+5] (a day later)
I don't find the shiftry's intelligence by itself to be enough to push me into Leaf's camp (i.e, give pokemon an equal or close to equal weight to humans).
The fundamental problem is that shiftries cannot sign peace treaties or code of conduct. Rules will be obeyed only by the human side. The shiftries will certainly try to kill you, given the chance. This means that the two sides are, by necessity, locked into an eternal war.
Can people who are trying to kill you and cannot be persuaded to change really be part of your in-group? I think it is justified to treat them as enemies.
Things get more murky once you captured the pokemon though. It is pretty clear that both the pokemon and human view each other as belonging to their in-group. You will need a really good reason/excuse to hurt the pokemon at this point.
Blue is a rather dark character because he is power hungry, and that makes him apathetic to his pokemon's well-being in the pursuit to power.
u/Anakiri [+3] (a day later)
In-group? Enemies? War? What does any of that have to do with whether it is sad that someone dies or is brainwashed or whatever? Even if someone will surely kill me if I cross them, they still have moral weight.
And animals can absolutely honor treaties and codes of conduct, even without primate intelligence, as long as you keep it as simple as "Don't cross this line." I'm not pushing for shiftry suffrage, just maybe a bit of respect.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I think I expected him to try to get the last word, even if it's a nonanswer, but instead the conversation just stops dead. Maybe Leaf hit a nerve? But getting caught flatfooted by a child makes him look weak too. I'm interested in this political intrigue and learning what game is being played here.
Hmm, I guess I didn't write that clearly enough. He didn't cut the conversation off because it took a bad turn: he ended it because she had reached the conclusion he was aiming at (and because he had another appointment. Of course.)
Also, is that two references now to Pokemon Conquest, or just incidental references to the Sengoku period? The specific phrasing makes me think Conquest. I never seen anyone else who's heard of it!
I wish they'd remake Conquest, or just make a new one, for next gen systems :) It was such a good concept that fit with the pokemon franchise remarkably well, I thought, and any exploration of the pre-modern age in pokemon is great to me.
(Completely unrelated, but Kitto recounting seeing the fossils first assembled makes me imagine that the Pokemon world went through the opposite of what ours did. The first reconstructions showed Rampardos horizontal with a bird-like posture and gait, but later findings show that it actually held itself erect with its tail dragging!)
Ha! Now that you mention it, I wonder how much anthropomorphism had to do with the first mistaken concepts of how a bipedal dinosaur would have carried itself.
I don't think most animals would be smart enough to prioritize Spinarak while they're being actively clawed at by something else.
In this case it might also be just more of a "I can't hit that thing flying around, but this is on the ground with me." If not in so many words, of course :)
I'm not quite sure what Red and Blue think is cruel about what they did, though. Isn't that basically what you'd have to do to catch it in the first place in ordinary circumstances? Or are they just opposed to kicking it when it's down?
A bit of both. I think even spending your life in a culture that sees certain behavior as normal can still require some processing when it comes time to actually do it themselves. People who don't grow up on a farm are usually quite squeamish about having to personally butcher animals for food, and even if it doesn't change their behavior overtly, perspectives can adapt subtly.
u/Anakiri [+2] (a day later)
Hmm, I guess I didn't write that clearly enough. He didn't cut the conversation off because it took a bad turn: he ended it because she had reached the conclusion he was aiming at (and because he had another appointment. Of course.)
I think it's just that there's not much transition, so it just reads to me like, "Time's up." Even if he doesn't want the last word, it would still be polite to acknowledge that he's ending the conversation. This can be done with expression, or tone, or a sigh, or a verbal "I'd love to keep speaking with a bright young woman, but...", but I think he needs something to keep from coming across as terse, if that's not your intention. Or maybe I'm just reading it wrong.
I wish they'd remake Conquest, or just make a new one, for next gen systems :)
I loved Conquest, and the Link system makes so much more sense than most abstract levelling systems, and it's basically how I've been thinking of levels ever since.
In this case it might also be just more of a "I can't hit that thing flying around, but this is on the ground with me." If not in so many words, of course :)
It's impressive that Spinarak was on its threat radar at all, despite never touching it. I'd expect a naive pokemon to believe that it is being attacked by Zephyr and a mass of string, the latter of which it is capable of retaliating against. But then I guess the pokemon world would put more evolutionary pressure on understanding the concept of being shot at.
A bit of both. I think even spending your life in a culture that sees certain behavior as normal can still require some processing when it comes time to actually do it themselves.
Yeah, that makes sense.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I'll tinker with it later tonight and see if I can get it a bit clearer.
the Link system makes so much more sense than most abstract levelling systems, and it's basically how I've been thinking of levels ever since.
Absolutely. The scope of the game was a bit small, but overall it was a very refreshing and fun new way to explore the world.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Does this read better for how I explained it?
Leaf is quiet this time, and the mayor doesn't interrupt it. "There must be some reverse effect as well though," she says eventually. "Popular leaders affect the public's opinion, but... the public's opinions are part of what decides how popular a leader is..."
Mayor Kitto smiles, then glances at his computer screen. "I'm afraid my next appointment is in four minutes. Thank you for your time, Miss Juniper."
u/Anakiri [+2] (a day later)
That works for me!
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (27 seconds later)
Hey all, hope your holidays went well. I have a quick announcement to make, and with it comes the need for your feedback! I've been asked a number of times whether I have or will be setting up a patreon, and so far my answer has been no, much as I appreciated the expressions of support.
As the requests continue to grow however, I've begun to consider it as a serious endeavor, but only if I feel like there's something I can offer beyond this story, which will always be free and available here in any case. To start with, I have a collection of other writings on topics as varied as politics and tabletop RPGs, along with other stories and novels I've written or am writing. I'm currently working on a site to put it all in one place, both to make it easier for fans of my work to view them, and to improve the communication between myself and my readers, and my readers and other readers, which fanfiction is notoriously bad at facilitating. So that seems like a good goal for the kind of thing the Patreon would support.
So in addition to the above, what I'd specifically like feedback on is the topic of rewards and donations. What's the kind of thing you'd like in return, if you were willing to pay for a lunch time sandwich? Let me know here!
Thanks, and enjoy!
u/Zscore3 [+4] (6 hours later)
The best part about this series for me is the whole Pokemon combined with research! I'd support the series for nothing, but some really cool rewards would be things like an Abstract for a particular article on a Pokemon subject, or an article for a more substantial donation. I'd love to see scientific articles on how Water Spout's relationship with HP was discovered, how rare pokemon get their type assigned to them, and different professional journals like Breeders' Weekly or the Journal of Typology.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (9 hours later)
This is a great idea, though I'm hesitant to offer rewards that are in any way related to more pokemon content itself, as that edges a bit too close to IP infringement. Nintendo is known to be pretty unforgiving in that, and their Great Eye is ever watchful.
It's possible I could find a less structured way of doing the same thing though, like a podcast or youtube video that fields questions from donaters, including ones like that. Thanks for the idea!
u/Drexer [+4] (a day later)
I feel bad that I'm always complaining about something regarding the scientific publication, but in any scientific case, the Abstract should not be done. The abstract is pretty much the last thing to be done as it should transmit an overview of the problem and the obtained results and conclusions. For future reference. It's usually the smallest piece of text where people spend more time for very good reasons.
Regarding the rest of the chapter, I found it well accomplished how Blue re-evaluated his priorities before he got himself too deep. I was thinking to myself that he was being too hurried in his actions and it was good enough for his mental thoughts to also reach that conclusion.
Regarding Patreon, I'm not really currently available for performing that kind of investment, but supposing I would be in a few months time, what leaves me more indecisive is really not knowing what other kind of writings you are offering. Perhaps once you have your personal site up, it will be easier to evaluate if I think the investment is worthwhile.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I feel bad that I'm always complaining about something regarding the scientific publication, but in any scientific case, the Abstract should not be done. The abstract is pretty much the last thing to be done as it should transmit an overview of the problem and the obtained results and conclusions. For future reference[1] . It's usually the smallest piece of text where people spend more time for very good reasons.
Don't feel bad, this is the kind of feedback that's arguably more important than any other :) In this particular case I already know what an abstract is (Red is using the "do as much as you can when you can and change it later as needed" method of work) but I'm very appreciative of any feedback about scientific issues as a rule!
Regarding Patreon, I'm not really currently available for performing that kind of investment, but supposing I would be in a few months time, what leaves me more indecisive is really not knowing what other kind of writings you are offering. Perhaps once you have your personal site up, it will be easier to evaluate if I think the investment is worthwhile.
No problem, my optimistic expectation once it starts is that maybe 1/100 readers will actually participate in the patreon (probably heavily weighted toward readers from /r/rational than FF), and I'm treating each donation as a pleasant surprise and personal incentive, not a goal.
Once my site is up, as you say, then hopefully other things I have to offer are received well too :) Any ideas in what you'd like to see? My non-fiction writing tends toward political/social commentary, reviews and critiques of books/TV shows/games, and instructional articles on tabletop game playing (as GM or as player).
u/Pineapple_Chicken [+3] (6 hours later)
Hey there, I've been following this story since probably chapter 8 or 9, and I gotta say I've been hooked and eagerly await the beginning of the month for updates. The world you've slowly fleshed out is immense and nothing short of fantastic. I would definitely back you on Patreon for 10-15 dollars a month.
In regards to bonus content though, I would say the thing I really want would probably be more frequent updates, perhaps on a 3 week schedule instead of your currently monthly one or something? I think it's worth it to consider a time to profit ratio that determines how quickly you push out content. Higher levels of Patreon contribution could mean more of your attention within the month could be focused on weaving the story. You can still figure out at what point you find that the update frequency is too high for what you want to put out, and set a limit to the maximum amount of chapters you can write through the unlock limits.
I definitely would still explore interest in other content/creations, perhaps put out a chapter or sampler here to see how the community reaction is?
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (9 hours later)
I definitely would still explore interest in other content/creations, perhaps put out a chapter or sampler here to see how the community reaction is?
Yeah, this sounds good. It would take prioritization of certain projects over others, so getting community feedback before I commit to one or the other is a great idea.
I would say the thing I really want would probably be more frequent updates, perhaps on a 3 week schedule instead of your currently monthly one or something?
You and me both: believe me when I say that as excited as readers are to see the next chapter and what comes next in the story, I'm at least as excited to get there and share it with you all. Unfortunately, my writing time is already very limited by work and other responsibilities to family, and I can barely make any time to work on other writing projects. So for now I don't know how realistic a shorter time frame on writing new chapters is.
In addition to all that though, as mentioned in another comment:
I'm hesitant to offer rewards that are in any way related to more pokemon content itself, as that edges a bit too close to IP infringement. Nintendo is known to be pretty unforgiving in that, and their Great Eye is ever watchful.
u/Atilme [+3] (8 hours later)
Hey! I just wanna buy you sandwiches for the story as-is. Extra content would just be icing on the cake for me. I second everything in this thread so far, and I'd probably look over your other writings as well, if they were presented to me.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (9 hours later)
Good to hear, thanks!
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a minute later)
Typo thread!
u/Gyrodiot [+2] (an hour later)
Mayor Kita will see you now
I think it should be Kito.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/ZeroNihilist [+2] (2 hours later)
But if he lets his overconfidence get his Zephyr of himself killed,
of -> or
Red will have to be far to ensure it works properly,
far -> far away
the shiftry lets out a groan and fells to its side,
fells -> falls
to -> onto (debatable)""If that's what it takes? Sure."
Doubled quotation mark.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 hours later)
Fixed, thanks :)
u/DerSaidin [+2] (3 hours later)
notoriety -> reputation (notoriety is negative reputation)
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 hours later)
Doh, I knew that. Fixed, thanks!
u/KerbalFactorioLeague [+2] (22 hours later)
Blue... back up. You want it to remembers one of our pokemon defeating it, remember?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/liamash3 [+2] Mizu (17 hours later)
where she often wipes the memory shortly afterward rather than waiting for it to fade on its own., but he couldn't think of anything better at the time.
fade on its own, but he couldn't
Seems Red's research isn't going well. Wonder if experiencing that Extrasensory attack would be useful for it?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
He's probably sick of the whole idea of mental attacks at this point, even before getting hit by another one :P
u/Corticotropin [+1] (2 days later)
Started reading from 1 and am up to 7 so far. I like it!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Glad to hear it! Looking forward to any future feedback :)
u/Corticotropin [+1] (2 days later)
Welp, finished binging it.
I like the feeling of realisticness in this fic, I've always felt that Pokemon canon is just too safe. Constantly fearful of Shiftry slicing Blue's head off :v The sense of irony at a tiny Pichu zapping Shiftry into submission was cute though!
My advice is don't mysteriously disappear like many other fic writers do!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Thanks, I'll try not to :) If I can't write anymore for whatever reason I'll be sure to make an update explaining it. If that doesn't happen, safe to assume I've been mortally wounded or kidnapped.
u/noggin-scratcher [+1] I am a happy tree (3 days later)
On the subject of Patreon, I tend to view it as supporting the sorts of things I want to see exist, regardless of whether they're then released for free for everyone else
You've made something I value, I throw some small amount of money at it in exchange... I'm not really in it for the bonuses, so much as making it easier for more of the original thing to get made.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (3 days later)
Thanks, that means a lot!
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (6 days later)
I don't want any rewards, I support rational writers on Patreon because I enjoy their content, so if you make a Patreon account I'll give you money for as long as you continue writing content I enjoy.
Though I would greatly appreciate it if you released each chapter as .epub for Patrons like /u/alexanderwales does.