11 KiB
[RT][HF][NSFW] Imprecisely Bound Demons, or, Some Imaginary Solutions to the Predator-Prey Equation
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Author: u/Soren_Tycho Clothing-optional Spacetime*
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/4h6zmq/rthfnsfw_imprecisely_bound_demons_or_some/
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Score: 21
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Created: 2016-05-01T00:34:56
Post:
When I started writing this book and it became clear that it wasn't just going to be a one-off character sketch, I committed to give gratitude to all of the communities and people who in one way or another inspired me, and so I had this long post about how HPMoR and so many other fics here were instrumental in making me realize this form was even possible, that although this isn't directly a rationalist fiction I've still tried to approach the writing and characters that way, and so on. You have my gratitude, but you might not want it, etc etc.
And then Girl Intercorrupted came out, and what I realized was that if I were to fail to promote my Hard-Fantasy serial about kinky demons here Yugano Yuuki would personally come to damn me to the least interesting hell she could find.
So...I'm looking for beta readers, rationalist ones. The main site for my fic is here: https://sadehall.tumblr.com, and if that looks interesting, PM me and I'll direct you to the beta site.
Unless this post meets overwhelmingly negative feedback, I'll post once more to announce when I open the public site.
Comments:
u/FeepingCreature [+28] GCV Literally The Entire Culture (2 hours later)
Please, for the love of all that is unholy.
Rethink your choice of fonts.
u/FuguofAnotherWorld [+5] Roll the Dice on Fate (2 hours later)
Yeah, I looked at it and... well I could basically tell that if I were to read a chapter or two in that font then my eyes would try to murder me in self defence.
I'm totally on board for the actual story idea though. Registering my interest.
u/None [+2] (8 hours later)
It's not even (only) the fonts, bright text on black is always the recipe for eye cancer, or at least what feels like it
u/FuguofAnotherWorld [+5] Roll the Dice on Fate (9 hours later)
I'm pretty sure binging Worm in all its white on black glory is what fucked up my left eye.
u/None [+3] (17 hours later)
[deleted]
u/None [+4] (a day later)
I google fu-d my way to a working epub file.
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (4 days later)
Same. I can't read that long on a WordPress blog.
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
I thought white-on-black was easier on the eyes?
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
[deleted]
u/None [+4] (3 days later)
(full disclaimer: I read this on my kindle anyway, so I didn't actually read it white on black) I read FFNet white on black, and I always felt like it was much easier on the eyes than black on white. I also remember reading somewhere that white on black was better for your eyes.
That being said, this is what a google search told me:
(quoted from stackexchange)
There has been a lot of research on this topic since the 1980s and a lot of it still holds true today. One study from the 1980s states this:
However, most studies have shown that dark characters on a light background are superior to light characters on a dark background (when the refresh rate is fairly high). For example, Bauer and Cavonius (1980) found that participants were 26% more accurate in reading text when they read it with dark characters on a light background.
The reason why this matters is because of focus. As this article on UXMovement states, "white stimulates all three types of color sensitive visual receptors in the human eye in nearly equal amounts." It causes the eye to focus by tightening the iris. Since the eye is focused, dark letter forms on light backgrounds are easier to read. When using a dark background with strong light letter forms, the iris opens to allow more light in, but that causes letter forms to blur. Why?
People with astigmatism (approximately 50% of the population) find it harder to read white text on black than black text on white. Part of this has to do with light levels: with a bright display (white background) the iris closes a bit more, decreasing the effect of the "deformed" lens; with a dark display (black background) the iris opens to receive more light and the deformation of the lens creates a much fuzzier focus at the eye.
Now there seem to be varying factors into contrast and legibility. Room ambient lighting. Brightness of the monitor. Also you can mitigate the straining effects of white (#FFF) on black (#000) by simply lessening the contrast like using a light gray (#EEE, #DDD, #CCC) on a dark background (#111, #222).
(end quote)
Maybe it's because I have stigmatic eyes? I'll definitely try to test which feels more comfortable once I get my glasses.
u/elevul [+1] Cyoria Observer (4 days later)
I prefer yellow text on black background or red text on black background, with a sAmoled+ screen.
u/Escapement [+11] Ankh-Morpork City Watch (2 hours later)
I looked at the main site, and found not enough there to make me care one way or another... the teaser is extremely empty. Demon summoning is something I am usually a fan of in fiction, but really there's not much there.
Honestly, the most notable part about the teaser is the abuse of fonts make it an actual eyesore - I actually disabled the page style so that I could read it comfortably. I hope that this is a stylistic choice that is used only in this teaser and you make different choices in the actual narrative, because I won't ever be reading something that alternates between Poseidon and VT323 both glowing against a dark background, and if what you're writing turns out to be any good it would be a pain in the ass to have to constantly disable your page's style just to make it readable.
u/None [+7] (22 hours later)
[deleted]
u/xamueljones [+1] My arch-enemy is entropy (a day later)
I regret that I have but one upvote to give for your comment.
u/FudgeOff [+8] (5 hours later)
Ditch the novelty fonts. Novelty fonts are fine if it's just a line here or there, but the eyestrain of reading more than a thousand words of that is too much.
The purpose of the first chapter is to establish what the story is about. My impression is that it's about sex, and the relationship between a human and a demon. The problem is there is no tension. There's no conflict between human and demon, no trepidation about being flung from the word, no regrets about never, ever seeing his family and friends again.
The human doesn't feel real; he gives up his life without a single thought, proving his background was never anything more than a cardboard cutout in the first place. The demon sounds like a cheesy phone-sex operator just saying her lines, not a real, three-dimensional character.
You did a good job on the humor. That helped a lot.
I know this is a little harsh, so let me reassure you that I'm not trying to be mean or drive you away from writing, just give you what I think is good advice.
u/Soren_Tycho [+2] Clothing-optional Spacetime (7 hours later)
Harsh is fine. I wouldn't be posting here if I wanted warm and fuzzy positivity. :)
That said, just so we're clear, what you read is intended as a teaser and is actually part of the eleventh chapter, by which point we've gone through all of the conflicts you mentioned and found out why exactly the demon sounds like a phone-sex operator (there is an in-universe reason).
u/Empiricist_or_not [+3] Aspiring polite Hegemonizing swarm (12 hours later)
Does that mean there's a chance you'll use a readable style when you start posting this? You can get the same effect with a monospaced font and a slightly less straining "Handwritten" or italicized one.
u/Soren_Tycho [+2] Clothing-optional Spacetime (a day later)
In the actual book text, it's possible to switch between the fonts everyone here hates and your browser-default serif font from the table of contents. This thread tells me I should make normal-serif the default.
u/xamueljones [+3] My arch-enemy is entropy (12 hours later)
How much of the story have you already written?
I'll definitely be following you for the humor alone. It's pretty hard to find stories with good sex humor (the most we ever get is a clever double entendre or two) and yours looks like it has the potential.
u/Soren_Tycho [+2] Clothing-optional Spacetime (3 days later)
I'm ~175,000 words into the main plot, with another 30k worth of sidestories written. All of this needs editing, but it's written and I'm not slowing down.
u/eaglejarl [+3] (14 hours later)
It's not the aesthetics of a site that I care most about about, it's the content. Stories with poor continuity or spag (spelling, punctuation, and grammar) are a big turnoff, and if I see errors in the first couple of paragraphs I tend to bail. With that in mind:
- this is the book your your
Caps, double word.
That should either be "almost" or "about it".
- So if I summon you onto this, you'll be...”
Four dots: a period and an ellipsis.
I'm sure someone will tell me that I'm being a pedant and these things don't matter. That someone is wrong. Proper spag is how we communicate ideas in a way that doesn't distract or confuse. For the most part it's also easy to get right, so poor spag is a sign that the author was probably sloppy about the writing in the story as well as the writing of the story.
u/xamueljones [+3] My arch-enemy is entropy (a day later)
For those who may be wondering what spag means, it's an acronym for SPelling And Grammer.
u/eaglejarl [+2] (a day later)
From the OP:
Stories with poor continuity or spag (spelling, punctuation, and grammar) are a big turnoff,
;>
u/xamueljones [+1] My arch-enemy is entropy (a day later)
Whoops! My eyes just glazed right over it.
u/whywhisperwhy [+1] (a day later)
I read the OP and these later comments on different sessions, so your comment was extremely helpful.
u/AugSphere [+1] Dark Lord of Corruption (a day later)
SPelling And Grammer
Oy, being denied vast amounts of media due to having relatively high standards for spag is punishment enough. There is no need for cruel taunting ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)
u/Nevereatcars [+1] The Greatest Is Behind (19 hours later)
"About" is fine as far as I know. It's a bit of a dialogue thing; shortened from "just about".