12 KiB
[RT] Glimwarden, Chapter 12
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Author: u/alexanderwales Time flies like an arrow*
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Score: 38
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Created: 2016-08-26T14:40:52
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+22] (4 hours later)
[deleted]
u/alexanderwales [+18] Time flies like an arrow (4 hours later)
:D
u/PM_ME_EXOTIC_FROGS [+15] (7 hours later)
(Mild Puella Magi Madoka Magica spoilers, probably not enough for a tag)
Crack hypothesis: the world of Glimwarden is the nth incarnation of the PMMMverse. The seeming Big Bad is in truth Akemi Homura, who hunts darklings with her time stopping powers and collects grief seeds, seeking to prevent Melanie from making a contract (also known as a binding agreement) in exchange for magical girl powers, as well as defeating a seemingly invincible monster that regularly attacks civilizations. And only Homura knows a dark secret about the nature and origin of their magic.
Starring: Merry as Mami, a veteran magical girl with tons of guns. Sanders is Sayaka, the main character's best friend. Chloe is Kyouko, a mysterious magical girl from out of town who likes food. And Philip is Alexander Wales' self insert.
Thoughts? Prizes for figuring out Wales' game before the big reveal?
Edit: full name in minor spoilers tag
u/Fredlage [+4] (9 hours later)
If you are going to warn against spoilers, it might be a good idea to write its full name, since people who have on their "to do" list might not immediately recognize the acronym.
u/CopperZirconium [+3] (a day later)
That's some good crack. I would add that Kubey is behind all of the Lantern outages in an attempt to bind more people.
u/DaystarEld [+15] Pokémon Professor (12 hours later)
Good chapter. Definitely intrigued by the Dark Warden. Dim Warden? Dimwarden.
Sander's description of his powers can probably stand to be cut down and made more simple/obvious. Maybe a very brief example with simple numbers would help.
Also, Melanie's reaction to seeing Farrell was a bit too "telly."
Melanie could tell that there was something dangerous about Farrell though, an unpleasant intensity that was looking for a target. He was, to all appearances, their leader. The truth was, there were too many things happening in Light’s Hollow, and they were happening all at once. A lantern failure, an influx of immigrants, talk of expansion, and all of the usual things that always went on. The town had troubles in the past, but they came one at a time, which allowed for time to adjust and recover. She couldn’t shake the terrible feeling that something bad was going to come of all of this.
Maybe it's just me, but I think one of those would have been sufficient to get the point across, whereas all four made her feel a bit too intuitive, or Farrell a bit too obviously evil, for someone she was just observing from across a crowd. Unless this is all meant to be setup for a twist and he's not actually evil at all, forshadowed by the misunderstood Lucian.
u/None [+12] (17 hours later)
[deleted]
u/DaystarEld [+8] Pokémon Professor (17 hours later)
Yeah, I really like the idea that each character is in their own way an unreliable narrator. I just felt like this paragraph was hitting me on the head with it a bit much.
u/daydev [+12] (20 hours later)
made her feel a bit too intuitive, or Farrell a bit too obviously evil, for someone she was just observing from across a crowd
Not just observing from across the crowd, she heard his speech. I had "danger: fanatic" warning flashing since the first sentence of it. I mean, nominally he advocates tolerance, but from the tone it's quite clear that he doesn't really mean it. He appears either a fanatic with enough reason to bear with heretics while he needs them (despising them all the same), or a cynical type of priest who doesn't believe his own religion and just uses it to gain power.
u/CouteauBleu [+10] We are the Empire. (22 hours later)
Yeah, his whole "These guys are awful, but we must kindly tolerate their inferiority for now because we depend on their charity" speech made me hate him pretty instantly.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Agreed, he's almost certainly a bad guy. That paragraph just felt like I was being hit over the head with it. I don't mind her having a bad feeling, or thinking he's up to no good, I just found it a bit too repetitive. To have that strong a feeling about someone you've barely met is pretty rare. Unless it's intentional for emphasis to set up a twist and he's actually good.
u/CouteauBleu [+6] We are the Empire. (21 hours later)
Sander's description of his powers can probably stand to be cut down and made more simple/obvious. Maybe a very brief example with simple numbers would help.
I'm pretty sure that was on purpose. Sander does not know how to be concise. Honestly, I would have told him to stop and get to the damn point when he started talking about relativity.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Sure, but you don't want to confuse readers either. The parts where Melanie tunes him out did a good job of communicating how loquacious he is.
u/CouteauBleu [+3] We are the Empire. (a day later)
Well, I think the earlier chapters did a good enough job explaining how Sander's power works, with a lot of clear examples. And if Melanie tunes him out all the time, then him being too loquacious becomes something told rather than shown? I guess.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Yeah, that's a danger too, but like you said, I think it's pretty well established at this point. I just found myself skimming, which is never a good sign, then went back and reread it slowly to ensure I wasn't missing anything new and important, which kind of got lost in all the words if there was anything.
u/ZeroNihilist [+10] (an hour later)
So presumably our stranger is traveling from town to town, sabotaging lanterns. I wonder if his character has been introduced incognito already. There's one standout candidate already, though I'd need to reread to be sure it's plausible.
u/JulianWyvern [+7] Wayward Wanderer (5 hours later)
So, Sander signature takes the distance he wants to cross and the time he wants to cross it and basically super acelerates him there ignoring everything else? Can he control how much Bind he spends by increasing time but keeping the same distance and escape velocity?
u/eltegid [+5] (19 hours later)
I don't think he can keep distance and escape velocity and change time: he chooses two and the third is fully determined by 'Speed vector = distance/time'. Of course he can change his escape velocity by using an initial velocity like he did in the chapter, so maybe that's what you mean?
u/pizzahotdoglover [+6] (a day later)
When Sander teleports, does he arrive facing in the direction of his travel, or the direction he was facing when he teleports? Presumably it's the former, since arriving at the speed of a full sprint while facing backwards would cause him to fall, and he only slightly stumbled (with Melanie on his back no less). So if the teleportation turns his body to face the direction of travel, does this add rotational velocity to him and could he use this in his sword fighting? It would be useful at close or long range to add power to his swings.
u/RMcD94 [+1] (20 days later)
Teleport one nano metre in front of yourself, cut through anything.
u/AmeteurOpinions [+5] Finally, everyone was working together. (an hour later)
must not ship
u/SvalbardCaretaker [+6] Mouse Army (an hour later)
Must not feel sorry for Melanie :-(
u/CouteauBleu [+7] We are the Empire. (an hour later)
I think I'm starting to hate Sander. Otherwise, Philip/Melanie is starting to look good.
Am I the only one who thought Chloe was over-dramatic in the way she was describing Mr Evil Glimwarden? "He spoke a single word, using it as an apology, an explanation, and a challenge."
u/ZeroNihilist [+13] (an hour later)
It's possible that Chloe is just speaking to Melanie in language she'd appreciate, otherwise it does come across a little dramatic. Not that I mind, really; it's kind of a climactic revelation in the story, and merits a bit of melodrama.
u/SometimesATroll [+15] (9 hours later)
I'm liking Sander more and more. He's like some kind of weird, teleporting puppy only better at math.
u/biomatter [+2] (21 hours later)
Can I ask why? I still like Sander, and I didn't think he did anything untoward this episode.
u/CouteauBleu [+3] We are the Empire. (21 hours later)
He's super annoying and has a bit of casual arrogance. It's a "watch yourself in the mirror that shows the dark crevices of your soul" thing.
u/TK17Studios [+3] Author of r!Animorphs: The Reckoning (10 hours later)
Still enjoying this lots, still comparing it to The Painted Man and grinning. I found Melanie's reaction to Chloe during and after breakfast to be a stretch, and the sort-of look at her reasons and emotions not quite enough to make me buy it. Spent some "suspension of disbelief" points on it to keep going.
u/NoYouTryAnother [+4] (11 hours later)
What part of it did you find to be a stretch?
(Also, recall the textual clues that the Melanie we met for the first part of the book might not have been representative of Melanie's usual personality).
u/CouteauBleu [+2] We are the Empire. (22 hours later)
I thought she was more curious than I'd have been. Her protagonistness aside, she's neither a cop, nor a glimwarden. If the refugee she's housing wants to keep secrets, it's her right, and kind of understandable.
u/MaddoScientisto [+2] (a day later)
Sander's signature sounds great but I really couldn't follow the explanation without diagrams, is anyone able to explain it in simpler terms?
u/Fredlage [+7] (a day later)
Velocity equals distance divided by time. Sander's power allows him to choose his end point (which, along with his current position, determines the distance and direction) and how long it is going to take for him to appear there (the time). Divide distance by time and you've got his velocity upon arrival, plus the direction as if he had run in a straight line towards his destination.
Since he wanted to cross a lot of space in a short time, but also did not want to die from arriving at his destination so fast that he splatters against a wall, he had to figure a way around that.
What he figured, is that the velocity he gains in his teleportation is added to his current one. So, by running in the opposite direction, the velocity he gained was subtracted from that of his running, so he arrived at a more survivable speed at his destination.
u/elevul [+2] Cyoria Observer (a day later)
Wouldn't it have been simpler to just chain two teleports like he did with the flying?
u/Fredlage [+1] (a day later)
With the flying he had both a completely empty space where he could go at high speed without the risk of crashing into something, plus the knowledge that gravity would slow him down and pull him back down, at which point he just had to teleport slightly up to counter his falling momentum and repeat until he was back on the ground.
I imagine in a crowded town, even a series of shorter teleports in the direction he wanted might have ended with him bumping at high speed into someone or something. Plus, we don't know if several short teleports cost more bind then one long covering the same distance (my guess would be yes).
I suppose he could have teleported up, then sideways toward his destination (but not completely there), then fallen in small chunks of parabolic arcs, teleporting up and in the opposite direction in such a way to kill his horizontal momentum at the right spot, then return to the ground like he did with the flying trick before, but the math necessary to get to the right spot and not kill both himself and Melanie might have been to much even for him, not to mention the question I pointed above on whether he would have enough bind to do all that.
u/MaddoScientisto [+1] (a day later)
Thank you, I think I'm starting to see it.