4.7 KiB
[RT] [FF] Memoirs of the future pirate king - One Piece
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Author: u/MysteryLolznation Dark Flame Master*
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/5gaxp8/rt_ff_memoirs_of_the_future_pirate_king_one_piece/
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Score: 6
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Created: 2016-12-03T18:32:49
Post:
I did some revisions on the prologue. Check it out if you haven't, and I'd love some feedback as to how I'm doing.
Comments:
u/rhaps0dy4 [+1] (2 days later)
In Chapter 1:
The boat and its cargo with my weight is 150 kg
I looked it up and Luffy weighs ~65kg, which means the boat, plus the ammo, plus the barrels, plus an anchor, plus food and water (I can't believe he doesn't have this), is at most 85kg.
If the boat is as small as the canon one (picture), it's somewhat hard to believe this weighs that little. Even if the anchor weighs 1kg like this one.
Also I don't really see why things that weigh less would revolve faster, or why would the anchor pull the boat out of the whirlpool.
EDIT: the whole boarding of Alvida's ship is also pretty silly. Why would they throw cannonballs at a small dinghy? They will probably fail, and if they hit it, it will sink fast so they won't be able to get any booty. Then Luffy boards, and the crew, who know each other, start knocking each other out? Even in the smoke, this is implausible. And finally Alvida asks for a duel, for kicks, instead of forcing Luffy to defuse the bombs. Or accepting the offer, then kicking him out with superior force anyways.
u/MysteryLolznation [+1] Dark Flame Master (2 days later)
Huh... I was thinking that maybe the density of the anchor would be enough to pull the dinghy away from the center of the vortex, but I guess it's more mass based than density based. Guess I better change on that bit.
And the whole part about opening fire on a dinghy also does seem a little implausible, but I really just rushed through that part, so I never really bothered to check on the consistency of that logic very much.
I always thought that if you destroyed a dinghy, the barrels that are loaded on the boat begins to float. I mean, a wooden dinghy can't really sink unless it becomes REALLY saturated with water, doesn't it? And the barrels, which are made most likely wooden, would also float when suspended in water, right?
I think I need to defend the rationale I had when I wrote the Luffy vs Alvida battle. If Alvida had forced Luffy to defuse the fake bombs, Luffy might have refused to do so, which might have turned out catastrophic for her. Alvida had asked for a duel really just to appeal to Luffy's sense of honor if he had any, which she only really assumed he had because of the way that he had approached her to bargain earlier. Luffy had accepted simply to trick her into a corner (of having him on gunpoint), and as a result, check-mated her. Alvida was already very agitated and was already shown from the canon to be an extremely volatile woman who didn't hesitate to end the life of a crewmember for no good reason. You have to remember that Alvida believed wholly in Luffy's bluffs, which was basically the linchpin in his plan to defeat Alvida.
Luffy boarding the ship was extremely dumb and I'll have to amend that a lot!
All in all, I am really happy with your feedback and I'll make some amendments. Thank you for taking your time to better my writing, sir.
u/rhaps0dy4 [+1] (3 days later)
maybe the density of the anchor would be enough to pull the dinghy away from the center of the vortex, but I guess it's more mass based than density based
Why is this the case though? I don't see why
I always thought that if you destroyed a dinghy, the barrels that are loaded on the boat begin to float
Right. And then you can maybe salvage them for loot? Also in the One Piece world, perhaps it is quite plausible that a rando on a small boat can take you and your crew on.
I think I need to defend the rationale I had when I wrote the Luffy vs Alvida battle [...]
Fair enough. If Alvida is really impulsive and stupid, the cannoning of the dinghy makes sense too.
u/kaukamieli [+1] (2 days later)
Alvida should have killed Luffy and then left with his men for a while until either the ship explodes or it becomes clear he was bluffing.
There is no way she believes she would have lost and she lost the ship anyway. There would at least have been a chance to not lose the ship.