11 KiB
r/AskReddit post: You, A super intelligent snail, A $1,000,000 showdown. Who wins, and how?
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Author: u/andor3333 *
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/
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Score: 12
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Created: 2016-12-17T20:19:46
Post:
Comments:
u/Bowbreaker [+11] Solitary Locust (57 minutes later)
If intelligence is all it has then it's screwed due to having no ability to make tools or ask others to make tools without, you know, showing people that it's a snail that can write shit or something.
So the question is, where's the snail relative to me at the beginning of this scenario? If it is anywhere near me it gets deposited in a black box which then gets encased in a "modern art" cement sculpture somewhere where I see it every day.
u/andor3333 [+7] (58 minutes later)
That is the bottleneck to get past, yeah. Basically it needs henchmen or a really clever toolmaking plan to get anything done.
u/Bowbreaker [+10] Solitary Locust (an hour later)
At the start it literally has no ability to spend any money. Attracting any human to it and writing "take X dollars in exchange for Y service" in slime will just end in the guy taking all of the dollars and start pimping out the intelligent snail. At least until it solves some big problem and starts slowly getting the right to program afterwards. Then it uploads a copy its mind, takes over the world and has flying drones connect the two of us.
If I don't catch it first that is.
u/andor3333 [+3] (an hour later)
Yeah it would be stuck unless it meets / chooses the right person to cut a deal with, or is a very clever toolmaker, gets access to a computer it can operate somehow, or has a bunch of time to set up something really complicated, etc...
u/Electric999999 [+3] (5 days later)
Toolmaking is unlikely to work considering it has no real appendages to even use tools with.
u/andor3333 [+2] (5 days later)
It would have to be a very clever toolmaker. I can think of some ways it could manage to build tools but it would have a lot of work to do. Then again, it has infinite time to work. I definitely think that is the slowest option.
u/crivtox [+2] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (a day later)
I think if the snail can escape and hide it can convince someone to give it a way of comunication without revealing its position( tell them that a secret government agencies its trying to capture him) , whith time that person will trust the snail completely and will give it internet access , once the snail has internet it basically has won
u/kuilin [+2] (3 days later)
But... decoy... snail...
u/Bowbreaker [+2] Solitary Locust (3 days later)
Are you talking about gooey splat formerly known as decoy snail?
u/Electric999999 [+2] (5 days later)
The decoy snail would be fairly easy to identify, what with the lack of intelligence and the fact you can murder it.
u/kuilin [+2] (5 days later)
But what if it's a decoy decoy snail
u/crivtox [+1] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (a day later)
One day a earthquake or something occurs the box opens and you are fucked.Also how do you know that the snail that its in the box its the real one and not a decoy
u/Bowbreaker [+6] Solitary Locust (a day later)
Earthquakes don't crack boxes that are encased in small and mobile statuettes made of a durable material. And decoys don't survive the preliminary snail-crushing test.
Really, the only reason I'm not sending the snail to space is because one day I actually might want to commit suicide.
u/sparr [+1] (5 days later)
two words:
Some Pig.
u/narfanator [+9] (7 hours later)
...Both? Cooperation is the ideal state, here. You don't pose much more of a threat to the snail than every other human, you just have more of a motive. Presumably, you also know about the snail; it will have the easiest time convincing YOU that it's super-intelligent.
But really, insufficient information. Do (either of) you age? Does the snail actually WANT to kill you? Can it do something other than crawl towards you? What does super intelligence mean? Can YOU do something to end the snail?
u/andor3333 [+5] (a day later)
That was my answer in the thread, as well. You ought to see whether you and the snail can cut a deal first, clearly.
Of course this depends on the level of intelligence, like you said. A negotiation will go very differently with average Joe the talking snail who just got a million dollars than with a terrifying paperclipper AI style hunter-seeker snail with memetic powers. (Did I just type that?)
u/alexanderwales [+7] Time flies like an arrow (a day later)
In theory if the snail is super-intelligent, it's intelligent enough to fake having a level of intelligence below what you will find threatening in order to lull you into thinking that you can successfully cut a deal with it.
u/DR_Hero [+3] (9 hours later)
Yeah, if the snail actually wants to kill you, I can't think of any way you can win here. Over an infinite timespan, truly trapping something seems nearly impossible. Entropy is a bitch.
u/vakusdrake [+2] (10 hours later)
Well you can easily trap it for thousands of years in cement, so long before it would get out we've already reached a singularity and it can ensure that the snail never gets near you.
u/Electric999999 [+2] (5 days later)
If you can trap it long enough to fund a sun impact probe project (which is actually a trap the snail in the sun machine, but sun impact probe is more likely to convince people to help) and while I want to put it on an impact trajectory, you will naturally tell people it's just to see what happens as things approach the sun and you don't expect anything to impact, which should make you sound less mad. It will probably never escape the sun's gravity, and if it does then it'll be floating in space with no means of propulsion.
Putting it in space would likely be enough in and of itself, but when it comes to immortality there's no such thing as too much.
Oh and you obviously encase it in concrete in the meantime.
The fact our snail is intelligent actually doesn't help it much, snails lack the anatomy for tool use, tool making and effective communication (I guess it could try writing with a slime trail, but that's very slow).
u/DR_Hero [+1] (5 days later)
It depends on how intelligent "super intelligent" is, and whether or not you can quickly find the snail.
If the snail is smart enough, it could go full cyborg.
u/andor3333 [+1] (a day later)
Well if you do it right it could be a race between the snail and entropy in general to stop you.
u/Galap [+6] (13 hours later)
The game plan of keeping it away from me would be shooting it out into space on a capsule that had no features it could manipulate. Eventually me and the snail would leave each other's light cones and become inaccessible.
Now, it becomes a lot harder if you don't know where the snail is, because then you'd have to find it before you could send it on its journey.
Though the 'slowly crawls toward you' is a bit confusing. How is it superintelligent if its behavior is that simple? I guess it could be thinking about all kinds of other things but if all it does is approach you then its intelligence is moot.
u/andor3333 [+7] (a day later)
It slowly crawls toward you... Along the Path To Victory!
u/CoolGuy54 [+3] (a day later)
leave each other's light cones
Isn't this impossible by definition? Let alone with chemical rockets?
u/Galap [+5] (a day later)
It's possible because dark energy is causing space to expand, and eventually once the distance is great enough, the expansion will be faster than the speed of light.
I think this fact is somewhat disputed, so it might end up being false, but AFAIK the consensus says this is probably true.
u/CoolGuy54 [+7] (a day later)
Ah yep, fair enough. But I think that flinging it out at Voyager-like speeds would result in the heat death of the universe or universal proton decay or something before the light cones separated.
u/Electric999999 [+3] (5 days later)
The light cone bit is pretty redundant anyway, just chucking it out like that should get rid of it.
u/RMcD94 [+2] (4 days later)
That's pretty evil treatment of a sapient creature
u/Electric999999 [+2] (5 days later)
It's a sapient creature which is dedicated to murdering you, so seems fine to me.
u/RMcD94 [+2] (5 days later)
Not really, it's forced against its will to move towards you
u/frozenLake123 [+4] (2 hours later)
Be in a hazmat suit, all the time.
Who needs to eat when you are immortal?
u/mizomi [+6] (3 hours later)
Even without dying, constantly experiencing starvation can't be very pleasant. So it somewhat depends on the conditions of the immortality.
Also, the snail could still slice open the suit with a sufficiently sharp instrument while you are asleep or otherwise unaware (perhaps through some indirect mechanism).
u/Electric999999 [+2] (5 days later)
If we're already never eating then I see no reason to ever sleep.
u/crivtox [+3] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (a day later)
The snail can send mercenaries to kidnap you , then the suit its useless
u/DR_Hero [+2] (8 hours later)
Rocket propelled armor piercing snail carrying projectiles.
u/frozenLake123 [+1] (2 days later)
Alright, I have managed to determine that, from the replies this has gotten, that this wouldn't work.
I think a better question is as follows: Can you keep the snail trapped for a long enough period of time that you would be ready to die after that point? Even if its just losing your physical body?
u/Electric999999 [+2] (5 days later)
Rather easily, it's intelligent but it's just a snail, they lack appendages for tool use, can't talk and are pretty small, put it in a metal box and fill it with concrete, problem solved for a very long time, chuck it into space when you can and it's unlikely it will ever come near you again.
u/randomphoenix03 [+1] (2 months later)
Decoy hazmat suit