7.5 KiB
[RT][DC] Evil Overlord List
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Author: u/Draconomial Sunshine Regiment*
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Score: 11
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Created: 2017-01-19T15:53:55
Post:
Comments:
u/CeruleanTresses [+4] (23 hours later)
I love the Evil Overlord List, although I think it glosses over opportunity costs. There are a lot of items along the lines of "I'll fully investigate every noise/malfunction/etc no matter how innocuous it seems, I'll have a full medical staff and cantina for the dungeons, I'll invest heavily in R&D for the following specific things." But that's only practical if you have unlimited money and personnel. If you're going to put the HQ on total lockdown every time a security camera goes on the fritz, that costs money that's going to have to come out of, for example, the dungeon medical staff budget.
u/Jiro_T [+1] (a day later)
I think it's not so much about fully investigating every malfunction, it's about having basic precautions. Because one of the first things an intruder is going to do is disable the security cameras, you need to have some sort of way to catch intruders doing that. Yes, the list is exaggerating when it says the only proper response is to put the base on lockdown, but the main point isn't to recommend a specific course of action, the main point is that they should do something other than just "ignore it".
u/CeruleanTresses [+2] (a day later)
The thing is that you really would have to read between the lines to get that interpretation. The list itself is pretty straightforward in what it recommends. IIRC the one about the cameras was something like "No matter how often the cameras malfunction, it will be treated as a full-scale emergency every time."
u/Draconomial [+6] Sunshine Regiment (5 minutes later)
Often mentioned, but never posted, The Evil Overlord List. A deconstruction of mistakes that many evil overlords make, and rules to prevent them. The original here dates back to 1996.
This page goes on to deconstruct the mistakes of evil empresses, rampaging monsters, henchmen, heroes, sidekicks, true loves, innocent bystanders, space captains, and teenaged mech pilots. Followed by preventative measures.
u/vallar57 [+8] Unseen University: Faculty of High-Energy Magic (10 hours later)
I think that 1) a good half of the list has more to do with genre savviness than with actual rationality. Unless you have a good reason to believe that your world has some form of narrative causality, you can disregard them and 2) following this list to the t would be incredibly stressful. Don't underestimate how relieving can something like evil laugh in front of your (fallen) adversary be. Villain banter before battle can soothe tension, etc.
u/Draconomial [+3] Sunshine Regiment (11 hours later)
It's not much of a stretch to say that narrative causality exists in society. For example: gaslighting, placebos, nocebos, hypochondriasis. You can produce an outcome by convincing the people involved that it's going to happen by following a predictable narrative. And with that, you can lead people to follow a narrative until you decide to break that narrative to your own benefit. It's irrational
u/vallar57 [+3] Unseen University: Faculty of High-Energy Magic (11 hours later)
I meant it on "laws of physics" level, not "human behavior" level.
u/Draconomial [+3] Sunshine Regiment (12 hours later)
Regarding the evil overlord list, human behavior is the main concern of an evil overlord who wants to keep power.
u/Bowbreaker [+3] Solitary Locust (2 days later)
You really want a list of which rules aren't rational in a non-narrative world and why?
Okay! :
\19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
- Intelligent daughters don't usually fall for that one person who wants to ruin their family.
\29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
- Some dictators and warlords already do this to an extent. I don't have data but at the very least it didn't help Gaddafi much.
\30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
- Real rebel leaders don't need specific types of comic relief.
\31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
- I don't even know where to start with this one. Cost vs expected results are just so abysmal.
\39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
- Usually good advice but it isn't if your Legions of Terror are an undisciplined horde that only follow you because they think you're awesome.
\62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
- Those are really useful to preserve your well-trained Legions of Terror against enemy cannon fodder though. After all they should know how to use local terrain to their advantage better than any invaders.
\85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
- You don't get to chose the ritual needed to activate the all-powerful magical McGuffin. You have to work with what you've got.
\98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I wil0l carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
- Harmonious couples are no more or less likely to overthrow you than feuding ones.
\100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
There very few things more dumb than giving your rebel prisoners unlimited internet access.
And these are only the most blatant ones. I'd go into the next 131 but this already took long enough.
u/cjet79 [+2] (2 days later)
Another tweak needed after the latest star wars:
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
u/None [+1] (3 days later)
Given spoiler-sensitive content for the latest Star Wars, I don't think that one vulnerability was planned.