3.0 KiB
Heroes Save the World, ch. 43: April Guthrie [null]
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Author: u/callmebrotherg now posting as /u/callmesalticidae*
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URL: https://heroessavetheworld.wordpress.com/2017/02/07/sharp-as-sword-blades-ch-4-april-guthrie-null/
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Score: 7
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Created: 2017-02-07T20:55:43
Post:
Comments:
u/nicholaslaux [+3] (22 hours later)
I feel like the latest style, for the past three chapters, have been a little too effective at their goal of getting the reader to feel the confusion and chaos of the scene, because we've seen this from three different perspectives and the only thing I think I know is that Hannah was talking to green suit and dress lady partner, Simon almost touched green suit and then someone cut green suit's hand off to presumably stop Simon's power from working on him, and then no idea.
I don't know if that is because I'm not trying hard enough to understand it or if there's another issue with the writing itself, but figured I'd bring it up to see if it's an issue anyone else has had.
u/eltegid [+3] (23 hours later)
I think I did understand what happened, through this chapter. Akvo (Green Man) killed Viejo (white woman), who cut his fingers. Right?
u/callmebrotherg [+2] now posting as /u/callmesalticidae (a day later)
Correct! Although I made a small retcon a few days ago (just the index finger being lost, as opposed to index and middle) because I spent too much time trying to work out the scene in my head (which is difficult, since I'm not very good at the whole mental imaging thing) and it wasn't really working right. I wasn't sure if anybody would notice that detail, since it was only mentioned once.
u/callmebrotherg [+2] now posting as /u/callmesalticidae (a day later)
Oh no! >:[
This chapter was meant to clarify, not obscure, so I definitely screwed up here. Are there any passages in particular which were poorly-written, or was the whole thing a mess?
u/semiurge [+2] (14 hours later)
Feels like the chapter ends before it gets to the good stuff.
Wonder who is downvoting your HStW posts. Maybe someone's miffed you pushed their Naruto/My Little Pony/Harry Potter fanfiction off the hot page?
u/callmebrotherg [+2] now posting as /u/callmesalticidae (a day later)
Feels like the chapter ends before it gets to the good stuff.
The upcoming chapter should make up for that, hopefully.
Wonder who is downvoting your HStW posts. Maybe someone's miffed you pushed their Naruto/My Little Pony/Harry Potter fanfiction off the hot page?
Yeah, I've got no idea what's going on there. Maybe somebody who doesn't know that you can just click the "Hide" button to get rid of stuff that you don't want to see.
It had me worried this time, though, because I got two downvotes almost as quickly as the thread went up, and I wasn't sure if the thread would be displaying for anybody else after that happened.