16 KiB
The Dark Wizard of Donkerk - Alexander Wales [RT][HF][C]
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Author: u/_brightwing Feathered menace*
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Score: 68
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Created: 2017-02-26T11:26:18
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+11] (17 hours later)
Speculation on the other magic mentioned:
Each magic seems to encourage a particular kind of philosophy. Denialism is Kantian virtue ethics, right down to the contrast of duty and inclination. Ritualism is pretty clearly utilitarianism, that's the whole point of the story. There's even a digression on how denialism can be understood as a subset of ritualism based on the presence of an ends - bodily power - just as the argument that virtue ethics can be understood as a subset of utilitarianism with the ends of living a righteous life (or something like that, I can't recall). Both influential ideas in the enlightenment, heading into the industrial revolution.
So what is Eloism? Competition among equals - is that a reflection of market forces, the Invisible Hand? And elementalism - is that an allegory for the romantic movement? Submitting your will to the sublimity of nature? I really don't have much backing this up, but I'm really curious whether the analogy continues in the rest of the world.
u/alexanderwales [+9] Time flies like an arrow (a day later)
Both those are being saved for the sequel, and neither is fully fleshed out at this point, in part because I don't have even the bare bones to the sequel's plot fleshed out yet. I think that I like competition vs. cooperation as a follow-up theme though.
(Eloism takes its name from the Elo rating system.)
u/DaystarEld [+11] Pokémon Professor (7 hours later)
Dammit. I just started some new books, and my next chapter is due soon. Saw this and thought "I'll just read the prologue."
Now I'm hooked. Great writing, as usual. The two magic systems are intriguing. The characters too. I'll have to resist reading more until next month at least.
Minor typo at the end of the prologue: "is reasoning" should be "his reasoning."
u/alexanderwales [+8] Time flies like an arrow (a day later)
As fair warning, this is super rough. It was written Nov 2014, Nov 2015, and Nov-Dec 2016, at a pace of roughly 2,000 words per day throughout (edit: that math doesn't work out). There was never any beta reading, nor any editing beyond what I did in the course of rereading sections, so there are whole chapters there that have only had a single pass through my brain at high speed.
u/sparkc [+2] (2 days later)
Just letting you know it was very enjoyable and a nice change of pace to experience your writing in novel form
u/None [+2] (9 days later)
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u/alexanderwales [+5] Time flies like an arrow (9 days later)
Spirits exist in three forms: living in the world in spirit form, existing as a magic item which can go beyond the domain of the spirit, and living in the spirit realm. Ulf comes out of the spirit realm and into the physical realm when Sofia is around 10 years old (IIRC, still haven't reread it), which makes him one of the first to appear. Sofia comes into her power more as she gets older (and spends more time with spirits), so they come to her more easily.
There's this little subplot where she's known to be a spirit caller at five years old and then that get repressed by Hirrush, but I don't think I actually ended up doing too much with that - it was meant as a false-start or false-awakening or something?
(Ulf is also solitary and taciturn as far as spirits go.)
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
No worries, and I'm happy to give feedback, if there's something in particular you want to hear about.
u/trekie140 [+1] (a day later)
How does it compare to his other work? For both Glimwarden and Limelight I started off intrigued but lost interest after about 5 chapters. I know the story can't be judged solely by the beginning, but I don't want to be disappointed by a plot that moves too slowly and characters who turn out to be boring.
u/None [+5] (2 days later)
It's pretty great, in my opinion. Less polished than Limelight, but much more engaging than Glimwarden. It does the rarest of things, and manages to communicate a thematic message about being smarter without being particularly preachy, as well. The arguments in favour of virtue ethics are a little straw-manny, but maybe the author will fix that up in subsequent drafts.
u/Anderkent [+4] (5 days later)
There was an argument for virtue ethics? The dark wizards looked like pure utilitarians, and if anything Henry convinces Sofia to become somewhat utilitarian over time.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Still only read the prologue, will let you know when I get farther in :)
u/None [+5] (13 hours later)
[deleted]
u/None [+2] (15 hours later)
Yeah, spirit magic OP. You get spirit magic, you win. On the othet hand, there's no reliable way to get spirit magic. You have to be born with it, and it seems to happen only every few dozen generations, if that.
u/stale2000 [+4] (4 days later)
Not only is spirit magic OP, but the characters are AWARE that it is OP, and treat it as such.
u/over_who [+5] Aleph you are going to die (20 hours later)
So I might have missed it in my excitement, but did we ever learn specifically what the outcome of Henry's ritual sacrifice would have been?
u/None [+3] (15 hours later)
I wanted to get things done today, but no... I read this instead. It was excellent.
Also, in the beginning of the Epilogue, you say something along the lines of "Hirrish sat down next to Hirrish" where you mean "Henry"
u/Kodix [+3] (9 hours later)
I'm really happy to see you post this. I read the first chapters you released during the NaNoWriMo in (apparently) 2014, and I was eagerly awaiting more.
So yay, finally! Also, congratulations on finishing!
u/PM_ME_EXOTIC_FROGS [+3] (2 days later)
Could you format this in an easier way to read please? It's especially tough on people who are on mobile.
u/_brightwing [+3] Feathered menace (2 days later)
I compiled the page into an epub earlier for personal reading. The format might be glitchy.
u/CCC_037 [+3] (2 days later)
Hmmmm. There's a couple of places where the wrong character name is used - Rowan's sword kills Ibrahim by placing a cut on Rowan's leg, and Hirrush stands beside himself in the epilogue (I thought at first that the latter would eventually reveal one of the two to be a thoughtform...).
u/nolrai [+3] (2 days later)
Stayed up all night reading this. I really liked the magic systems, and am really curious about the spirit world and what the characters are going to be trying to do.
Also the romance is cute as hell.
u/nerdguy1138 [+2] GNU Terry Pratchett (6 hours later)
Ao3 cross-post? I see you have an account there.
u/Anderkent [+2] (8 hours later)
This is lovely.
u/RMcD94 [+2] (2 days later)
He dispatched with three of Rowan’s seeds, held
He being Rowan. Not sure if you're allowed to fix mistakes
Excuse me, said Sofia, but do you have a house spirit here?”
Missing "" "
Hirrush sat down on the bed beside Hirrush, laid back
Errors do seem to increase up towards the end, suggesting a slow down in proof reading. Curious.
u/makoConstruct [+2] Praises of Nayru, FLI Worldbuilding (a month later)
Hmm. Are spirits an analogy for intuitions? Is the process of turning them into magical items an analogy for sublimation? Essentially... Sophia has control over the mind (world) because she respects the remnants of the old world (spirits) that it was built from. This mirrors the process of maturation a person undergoes as they understand the context and purpose of their instincts and learn to move with them instead of against them.
Super cool if true. Though I often question the value of veiled analogies... I'd bet we'd have more of an impact on people if we'd just come out and say things. Hard to judge though. The maturation process is slow and mysterious and most of us don't get to watch them unfold from start to finish, very often.
u/elevul [+2] Cyoria Observer (3 months later)
Finished. Really cool! Needs some proofreading and fleshing out of a few parts, but overall it was a very pleasant and enticing read!
u/Amonwilde [+3] (6 hours later)
What's the status of this story now? Was holding off until it was complete(ish).
u/None [+7] (7 hours later)
It is finished, as the [C]omplete tag in the title indicates
u/Areign [+1] (15 hours later)
wasn't he writing another story called glimmerwarden? from what i could tell it seems like he just dropped it.
u/None [+2] (20 hours later)
Glimwarden is on hold :(
u/Anderkent [+1] (23 hours later)
u/captainNematode [+3] (12 hours later)
I haven't read this yet, but is it related to The Dark Lord of Derkholm (a fun children's de/reconstruction of the fantasy genre by the excellent Diana Wynne Jones)?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (14 hours later)
I wondered that as well: it's such a great hidden gem that almost no one I've met has heard of. It was my book recommendation during our episode on Prophecies, partially because I liked how little an impact prophecy had in it and partially because I wanted to expose others to its awesomeness.
u/captainNematode [+4] (14 hours later)
Jones in general I feel lacks the popularity she rightly deserves -- I only encountered her as a result of Ghibli's adaptation of Howl's Moving Castle, but after that quickly made my way through the rest of her works. I always liked her tendency to wrap things up nicely by the end of the book, where all the plot threads come together and characters re-meet (or are revealed). Similar to Gaiman's Stardust in that way (who she was good friends with). The sequel to DLoD, Year of the Griffin, is a solid read, too! (the Moving Castle series probably being tied for the two Derkholm books, with the Chrestomanci series in second, and Dalemark/Magids third)
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (15 hours later)
Aye, I enjoyed Year of the Griffin a lot. It was shorter than I would have liked, but seeing more of the world was great. I especially liked the subplot of people with magic wanting to use it to explore other planets :)
u/Areign [+1] (8 days later)
homeward bounders is also great
u/xamueljones [+3] My arch-enemy is entropy (a day later)
I love everything she writes! She was my favorite author as a kid in high school. Using Yudkowsky's words, her characters are very often at level 2 where they actually have a spark of intelligence and are allowed to react like real people rather than one dimensional caricatures.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Agreed, her characters are probably the best thing about her stories. They always come off as very full dimensional and real so quickly compared to other stories.
u/None [+1] (10 hours later)
Adding this to my to-read list, which currently only has one book (this one)!
u/gamarad [+1] LessWrong (than usual) (18 hours later)
"He had begun to slow down when it collapse" should be collapsed.
“Let’s say that Henry is missing his fingers because of dark magic,” Henry's father?
“I can tell you what you saw, but I don’t understand any of it.” what I saw?
"brown dog that they’d own" owned
"There can’t be all that many destination" destinations
"there were hundreds of matter of utmost importance" matters of the utmost?
"There were two many of them" too
u/BaronVonAppleSauce [+1] (23 hours later)
Finally! I really100x love this story. Very well written. Thanks Alexander Wales and the one who posted this.
u/gamarad [+1] LessWrong (than usual) (a day later)
"The bulk of Ibrahim’s mindscape was held in tunnels down beneath the sands, but Ibrahim knew little more than that." should that second Ibrahim be Rowan?
u/gamarad [+1] LessWrong (than usual) (a day later)
"If Henry could make it to the bridge ahead of Sofai" Sofia.
u/HeckDang [+1] (a day later)
It didn’t occur to him that perhaps he had been right in wanting to stay, even if is reasoning was clouded.
I recall remember our meeting.
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (28 days later)
So...if it would have looked suspicious from the outside to, won't it be a whole new level of suspicious now that?