30 KiB
[RST] Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Chapter 41 - Adaptability
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/41/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 80
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Created: 2017-03-01T08:46:15
Post:
Comments:
u/DaystarEld [+15] Pokémon Professor (2 minutes later)
Hey guys, welcome back! Not a whole lot new to announce, other than I set up an RSS link on my site for anyone that wants to get notified when new things go up there. Special thanks to my patrons, old and new, for all your support. Hope you all enjoy the chapter, and any feedback is welcome, as usual!
u/Slapdash17 [+18] (an hour later)
I thought it was a great chapter! I'm definitely curious about how Red's psychic powers will develop, and what the endgame for that looks like, since that is something the games did not spend much time elaborating upon. I also find it very satisfying to see Blue grow as a trainer while also seeing the difficulty of his gym battles rise in roughly equal proportion. It's a great way of gradually building the world (at least as it pertains to combat and gym bureaucracy) while also emulating the difficulty curves of the games.
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thank you, glad you're enjoying it! And yeah, the games and even anime have criminally underdeveloped how psychic humans in the pokemon world operate and interact with others. Maybe the manga do a better job, but I haven't read much into any of them yet.
u/Malakbel [+8] (3 hours later)
Thanks for the chapter! Really like that Red is planning to donate to the Rangers. I'm also very interested in all the currently running plots
u/Grasmel [+6] (3 hours later)
Yeah, the Ranger thing is great. It might also put him in touch with someone related to his dad, which is probably part of the plan.
u/DaystarEld [+8] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Not a part of Red's plan, but it might well be part of mine! :)
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thanks for reading, glad you're enjoying it! The idea of donating abra was actually suggested by a reader, and I liked it enough to work the idea into what Red's going through.
u/AmeteurOpinions [+4] Finally, everyone was working together. (9 hours later)
I've complained about the pacing before, but now I'm finally getting a sense of plot and direction from the fic. It's really taking on a life of its own. I just wish it didn't take 300,000 words to get there.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Glad you're enjoying it more :) Sorry for the wait!
u/Ulmaxes [+12] (11 hours later)
Great chapter; I want to say, I really really love how you're handling Red's grief. Bravo to Red being a big enough man to go back to his therapist- a great therapist, too.
The last section with Red thinking about how he's handling the Abra as a way to 'answer' the grief genuinely touched me, I'm still tearing up thinking about it. Wonderfully done. As someone who's lost a parent (and is very far away from the other) that way of projecting them into the situation and gauging their response (as a means of dealing with the overall depression) is something I do a lot, and do find it to be a positive experience- I've never seen or heard it somewhere else.
u/DaystarEld [+8] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thank you! I'm glad that connected. Stuff like this is always hard to hit perfectly, so I worry sometimes about whether I handle it well enough. It's good to know that it's resonating with others too, and can maybe even help them in some way.
u/Grasmel [+9] (3 hours later)
So we finally see an evolution happening. The growth to a new size was gradual, but the change in appearance was sudden and came with a flash of light, interesting compromise. At least this way it doesn't violate conservation off energy, but there is still something odd going on.
I wonder if in this verse, pokémon that seem like a combination of two others like Mantine and Slowbro actually use two pokémon to come into being now? If so, are they still considered one pokémon afterwards?
u/HeroOfOldIron [+6] (5 hours later)
My guess is that it's a similar process to how anglerfish mate. The male bites the female and is eventually absorbed into her body so she can fertilize her eggs whenever she wants.
u/DCarrier [+1] (20 hours later)
But slowbros and shelders are in different egg groups. They can't interbreed.
u/HeroOfOldIron [+3] (21 hours later)
Right, but the regenerative powers of the Slowpoke are so intense that a similar process occurs. The Shelder bites, and over time is incorporated to create a symbiotic system.
u/DaystarEld [+6] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Mantine has actually been somewhat retconned to no longer always be accompanied by a remoraid. It still needs it in the party to evolve, in the games, but all the newest sprites of mantine don't have it attached.
u/LazarusRises [+3] (15 hours later)
No Remoraid hanging around that Mantine that we saw... maybe it was in the water providing moral support?
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Heh, I imagine the remoraid wouldn't particularly enjoy being carried through the air, unless attaching to the mantine somehow lets them breathe out of water too!
u/blanktextbox [+7] (20 hours later)
It means a lot to me that we're seeing Red manage his emotional well-being. The passage about going outside, how it feels both good and taxing, made me notice my appreciation for having this depiction. Like most everyday tasks, we generally skip past emotional maintenance in fiction, but as someone who has to do it all "manually" and with friends and a life partner who struggle with that stability, it means a lot to me to read a protagonist go through it in a realistic and relatable way. So thanks.
Oh, and it's also great that even though it's connected to his psychic abilities, it isn't the thing generating them or empowering them as happens so often with impaired heroes (see: Daredevil).
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
I'm glad it resonated so well with you. It's a delicate subject to deal with, and I often worry about whether I'm doing it justice. I hope I can continue to do so, and feel free to let me know if you have any feedback, now or in the future!
u/FireHawkDelta [+6] ** (5 hours later)
I chuckled when Red did the test on his psychic shield, it reminded me of the parapsychology studies from this.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Yeah, studies of psychic powers should be so easy to prove/disprove that it's really amazing how hard some people find it to parse through the methodology. Suffice to say, Ayane and Red's testing will not end here :)
u/MaddoScientisto [+5] (14 hours later)
I loved the chapter, great all the way through and I'm really intrigued by red mysterious psychic thing, also blue's battle was exciting too, it's good to see how he progressed and even an evolution.
By the way I was rereading the whole story and stumbled across red mentioning that there are no dark rattatas... Oh if he only knew about alola
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thanks or reminding me of that! I made an addendum to his thoughts on the matter later, after Sun and Moon came out, but I forgot that Dark rattata were mentioned earlier. Fixed it now.
And I'm glad you're enjoying it enough for a reread!
u/MaddoScientisto [+3] (a day later)
I keep finding spelling errors in the older chapters, maybe I should compile and mail you a list sometime
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
If you do the reread on my website opposed to fanfiction, you can just ctrl-enter the highlighted typo and I'll automatically get an email about it!
u/MaddoScientisto [+1] (a day later)
Is there a way to do that on mobile?
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Doesn't look like it, sorry!
u/Caliburn0 [+9] (13 hours later)
Great chapter as always. A rather broad question, how long do you expect the story to be? I mean, it's already at 41 chapters and 300 000+ words. It feels like it's somewhere around half-finished based on the developments of the plot threads and such, but fanfiction is much less restricted to the normal rules of storytelling than other books. So it can go on for years and years without stopping. I mean, Red, Blue and Leaf is only at cerulean, and I don't know if you want to continue until Blue actually does become the champion (if he does) or not. So, what general timeframe are we looking at here? This is just pure curiosity though. I'll continue reading this as long as you keep updating it. And I'll probably read everything else you publish as well, supposing I am even remotely interested in the subject.
PS. Do you need a beta? I don't know how much help I would be, but I do write my own fanfic, and I think it's decently written.
u/DaystarEld [+10] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
So, my common response to this is to simply say "I'm not sure" and estimate that it will certainly be more than 100 chapters, but probably less than 150. However, we all know how optimism bias operates, and I would not be terribly surprised if, five years from now, I'm looking back and sighing at my silly past self for thinking that I could get through most of the story I have in mind in just 100 chapters.
However. I have been making an effort recently to step the pace up, and I think I'm getting at least a little better at it. What's also helping with that is that I've always known the early parts of the story would take longer than the later parts, because it's where details on the world and characters need the most fleshing out. Once they're established, far less time needs to be taken going over them again (if any needed to be taken at all, by some perspectives). As an example of this, there will never be another chapter on Red and the gang going shopping. That chapter is probably one of the easiest to cut, if I ever have to choose chapters to cut, but it's also one that I think did a lot in building the world and society, for those that enjoy that sort of thing.
Hope that's a satisfactory answer, and I'm glad you enjoy the story enough to keep reading it :) Who knows, maybe I'll hit it big someday and be able to quit my day job and devote myself to writing full time. That would certainly make the ~150 chapter estimate less daunting, divorced from the pace of one chapter per month @_@
PS. Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay for now! What's your fanfic about?
u/Caliburn0 [+7] (a day later)
I see. There's quite a lot of content to look forward to at least. You're doing great. Your writing is supreme, your story is excellent, and those Mewtwo sections are pure gold.
I am one of those that really enjoy worldbuilding, both doing it myself and read about others who does it. Fanfiction can be really good at this, as we don't have to start from scratch. This can be both a boon and a curse, but it's what I really like about it. So, yes. I did enjoy the shopping scene. It was really interesting.
And if automation works out, then I too can start writing fanfiction full time, praising the robots that do all my work for me. Hopefully that can happen to you as well.
My own fanfic is a Naruto and Bleach crossover. I know. It's the most cliche combination imaginable (perhaps after Harry Potter and Naruto), but I really enjoy both of those series. They have their problems, but that's why I'm writing, isn't it?
The story is named Bleached Whirlpool. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11459500/1/Bleached-Whirlpool It's about... well, worldbuilding itself, I think. I made my own urban fantasy world and tossed the Naruto and Bleach verses into that one. I don't classify it as a rational fic, but I try my best to be as logical and consistent as I can. Because none of the main cast are particularly hardcore rationalists, quite the opposite really. People will be people, and they don't always act rationally, but the world is at least self-consistent. Or at least as self-consistent as my monkey brain can make it.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Wow, 110k words in 5 chapters! But good on you for working at it. I don't know enough about fanfic in general to know what's cliche and what's not (other than generic trope stuff) but I'm currently reading through Naruto and enjoying it, so maybe I'll check it out sometime after I finish (and finally get around to Time Braid and Marked for Death as well!)
u/waylandertheslayer [+2] (a day later)
If you don't mind me jumping in with a few suggestions, I'd like to recommend The Waves Arisen for when you've finished Naruto. It's my favourite Naruto fanfic, and also rational on top of that, and finished as well.
(Also check out /r/NarutoFanfiction if you want some non-rational stories)
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Don't mind at all, though it may take quite a while for me to get to all these recommendations :)
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
Just finished The Waves Arisen. Gotta love :D.
u/Caliburn0 [+1] (a day later)
Yeah. I update really slowly though, so it's not really productivity as much as it is a style of writing. Naruto is good. It's not great, but certainly good. If there was any Naruto fanfic I would recommend above all others it would be Dreaming of Sunshine. That one is really good. In fact, I think it's the best fanfic I have ever read (no offense to you, yours is really great as well).
I find that I really enjoy 'rationalist' fiction, but that is only a way of classifying the story. What I really enjoy is consistent worldbuilding and a logical framework for how the world works, and DoS certainly has that.
Time Braid is... well... I guess it's fine, although I have some major problems with it. I have never read Marked for Death, I'd have to look into that.
And don't really bother with what is cliche. That's just an arbitrary label anyway. Anything can be good as long as the author is good. I had a really hard time finding a pokemon fic I liked until I found yours. And now I'm more than satisfied. I thought I would have to write some myself, just to scratch the itch that is was there from this fantastic world existing with so much unfulfilled potential. Now I just enjoy the feeling of that potential being realized and knowing it was done much better than I ever could.
u/thrawnca [+2] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
What I really enjoy is consistent worldbuilding
So...do you follow Mother of Learning? Or are you waiting to read it all once it's finished? :)
u/Caliburn0 [+3] (a day later)
I'm following it, yes. One of my favorite stories ever. I have read it through 3 times.
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
Bah! Three? :D I've started over so many times I've lost count! Currently producing an edited version, to catch up with the backlog of typos (which the author will get to eventually) and replace strong language. Next chapter soon!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
and replacing strong language.
Strong language as in cursing?
u/thrawnca [+2] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
cursing?
Yep. Mostly for my own use and immediate family members, though if anyone else wants a copy, they're welcome. It's an interesting challenge to replace words while still preserving the tone.
I'm actually tracking changes with Git, with typo corrections on the master branch and the "airline version" on its own branch. So I could in theory produce a copy with a bunch of fixes but the original language. My baseline was an ePub produced via ficsave.xyz
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Gotcha. I don't recall much cursing in Mother of Learning, though I guess if the point is to remove any of it a full read-through-update would be necessary :)
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (2 days later)
You're right, there isn't much on the whole. Actual swearing, an average of less than once per chapter. Milder language, much more often. I just like to have none :). And I like the challenge of doing it without disrupting the flow. My ideal state is that unless you do a side-by-side comparison, you wouldn't notice that it was altered. I can't always achieve that, of course, but I'm pretty pleased with the result thus far. Almost finished a typo-oriented reread, too.
u/CarVac [+3] (7 hours later)
I really enjoyed Blue's battle. Great work!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Glad to hear it! It was fun to write :)
u/SometimesATroll [+3] (17 hours later)
Seeing this evolution reminded me, I wonder if evolution stones are a thing in this setting. There were wild Raichu in the forest, are thunder stones just lying around out there?
What about trade evolutions. How does that work?
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Stones exist, but they don't work quite the same way as in the games or anime. As for trade evolutions, I've pretty much completely scrapped that, since it seems really gimmicky and is totally unexplained in the games, not to mention not making any sense (what, did Gengar and Machamp just not exist before humans invented the technology to trade pokemon?)
u/KnickersInAKnit [+3] (a day later)
Why not make the trade evolution requirement to be more like...'world traveller' experience or something. So a Haunter, Kadabra etc that lives a quiet life in a small town with an introverted trainer is not going to evolve. But the individuals who visit the many cities in Kanto, or even the regions beyond and meets many trainers and other pokemon will.
u/thrawnca [+5] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
Interesting idea, but a) I can't see any reason why travel and variety would inspire eg Haunter -> Gengar evolution, and b) I agree with /u/daystareld, trading was largely a gimmick to make it necessary to buy both versions and/or get friends involved and engrossed.
u/KnickersInAKnit [+4] (a day later)
So the list of pokemon who evolve through trading sans item is as follows:
Kadabra, Haunter, Machoke, Graveler, Boldore, Gurdurr, Phantump, Pumpkaboo
Alakazam is one of the smartest Pokemon, on par with...I think a 5 yo in this universe? Let's compare that with a parrot. Parrots get pretty miserable if you don't socialize them, spend time with them, give them lots of novelty...well, I think that travel and lots of new experiences would encourage a Kadabra's maturation into an Alakazam. Also, note that Kadabra's dex entries say nothing about its intelligence (just power) compared to Alakazam. How does it become smart? Learning new things!
Haunter's Pokedex says that it tries to steal souls...don't think that's happening in this universe (what does Red think about souls?). Phantump and Trevenant live in lonely forests and trap visitors. Pumpkaboo "is said to carry wandering spirits to the place where they belong so they can move on" - travel requirement pretty much right here! For the others, I think they'd need a wide variety of tasty victims to be able to evolve.
Machoke...more people to fight, nuff said. Sparring the same people over and over doesn't teach you anything. Gotta be the very best!
Graveler eats rocks (preferably moss-covered). Going to new places would ensure a steady supply of a balanced diet of minerals, assuming the trainer doesn't already live on a mountain.
Boldore is a tough one. Leaks energy constantly according to the dex. Maybe poisons its own environment if it doesn't keep moving, like a fish living in a tank with poor filtration/inflow of clean water.
In conclusion, this proposed 'travel requirement' wouldn't be a hard one, but it would speed up growth and evolution of the evolve-by-trade group.
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
I thought of a number of ways to try and rationalize the trading (not just the travel requirement idea, which you expanded on wonderfully, but also things like loss of their parent-figure or forced changes in allegiance), but ultimately I just realized there were too many holes in all of them. For this one in particular, what about trades between people in the same region or location? If two people in Kanto trade haunter and graveler, they'd have no reason to evolve. It also throws into question the whole "trading with an item attached" evolution question, which clearly focuses on the item and not the trading itself.
So if I went with that, now I'd have to make up a new rule that the trade has to occur between different regions to speed up evolution, and come up with an explanation for why the process of trading matters for those that need an item. And if I'm putting in new limits or coming up with new rules to make the "Trading causes evolution" still work differently from canon anyway, then I might as well just scrap it altogether.
Maybe I'll think of something that works as a good nod to the game's rules without adopting them fully and implement it later though :)
u/KnickersInAKnit [+2] (2 days later)
Trades between two people and regions I'd view like...well, the concept of voltage! The greater the total difference between person A and person B, the more likely it'll result in an evolution.
Screw the trading with an item idea though, that's dumb. Just give the pokemon the item and wait until they figure it out imo. Maybe it wouldn't work immediately like the evo stones if you want to differentiate the two.
I see your point though, ultimately probably not worth it to keep the trading requirement nod to the games.
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Just give the pokemon the item and wait until they figure it out imo.
Haha. Just imagined handing a scyther a Metal Coat, or a slowpoke a King's Rock and being like "...Well? Go on." as the slowpoke stares vacantly at it, then tries to eat it.
u/noggin-scratcher [+1] I am a happy tree (5 days later)
I could see more of a case for the "with item" types to evolve when stored/moved electronically while holding the item - if the code for the pokemon and for the item got scrambled together in transit.
Slight overtones of The Fly though...
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
Yeah, the problem with that is the idea that this could happen with anything the pokemon are stored with when transferred. Which is obviously problematic if an automatic process, but even if controlled again brings up more problems than it solves.
u/noggin-scratcher [+2] I am a happy tree (5 days later)
True, you'd need some wildly ad-hoc reasoning for why certain items essentially trigger a bug in the storage/retrieval code, and yet also that bug has a consistent and beneficial outcome.
Either that, or posit a separate set of outcomes, where pokemon get horribly spliced with random items... which would probably be something of an urgent priority for them to fix
u/thrawnca [+2] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
Creative :). Your last paragraph doesn't seem like a conclusion, though: it introduces a novel idea, of trading being "helpful but not required". That bit sounds reasonable.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
Yeah, "helpful but not required" is basically how I'm going to be treating a lot of the non-level-based evolutionary requirements.
u/Mizu25 [+3] (a day later)
Poor Red experiencing all the emotions from his dad's loss, but it's also good he's finally working through them, instead of bottling 'em up. I can see you're blending the 'carries a Pikachu about' character aspect Red and Ash are known for into it too, due to Pichu (and, once it evolves, Pikachu) being a fluffy friend he can cuddle with for comfort who's not particularly dangerous to hug.
It's really quite sweet, and a lovely idea, imo.
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Glad you're enjoying it! And yes, of the many conventions to keep or abandon, Red and his pikachu seemed worth keeping :)
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (12 seconds later)
Typo thread!
u/None [+3] (an hour later)
[deleted]
u/Putnam3145 [+2] (3 hours later)
"Her" probably refers to Maturin there.
u/None [+2] (4 hours later)
[deleted]
u/Putnam3145 [+2] (4 hours later)
It's a possessive, and I think pokéballs are usually considered to be possessed by the pokémon? At least, that's how it's been pronoun'd in the story.
u/CarVac [+2] (7 hours later)
It's more like pure association. You don't own your parents, yet you'd refer to them as "my parents".
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Yep!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Yep!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
All fixed, thanks! It is indeed "her" dive ball, in my mind :)
u/None [+1] (a day later)
[deleted]
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I use that sometimes too, but sometimes when looking over text the same word or name shows up too often and it starts to bother me, so I switch up how things or people are referred to :)
Since the sentence only has one subject besides Blue (who's clearly male) that was already referred to in the feminine, I think it's okay grammatically.
"The next gust of wind knocks the squirtle from her feet, and Blue finally points her dive ball forward."
u/Slapdash17 [+3] (an hour later)
"Sorry impose it onto you..."
"Sorry to impose it onto you..."
"What are you a rules lawyer now?"
("What are you, a rules lawyer now?") or ("What, are you a rules lawyer now?")
He brought his pidgey, sphinx, shroomish...
He brought his pidgey, shinx, shroomish...
Applause are audible from the bleachers...
(Applause is audible from the bleachers) or (Sounds of applause are audible from the bleachers). Alternatively, shift the sentence to be in active rather than passive voice. "Blue hears scattered sounds of applause from the audience" or something like that. Similarly...
There are applause from the spectators...
The applause return...
Later on...
"Which I'm saying shouldn't be impact your view of his motives..."
"Which I'm saying shouldn't impact your view of his motives..."
Later on in that paragraph:
"...and what their options are."
Not grammatically incorrect, but there's no "they" implicated previously in the sentence or paragraph. I think you mean "...and what (his/your) options are." or "...and what the options are."
"...just incase..."
"...just in case..."
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
All fixed, thank you!
u/daydev [+2] (23 hours later)
After arriving at the restaurant and spotting her and Blue at a table, he actually smiles.
Maybe not a mistake, but Leaf was established as "her" two whole paragraphs ago, and then it talked about Red's pichu, who is also "her". I think the pronoun "lost its reference" by the time it's used here.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Definitely, just fixed it, thanks!
u/jldew [+1] (3 hours later)
Not sure how to do quotes on Reddit on shinx is named sphinx during the beginning of Blue's battle.
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (16 hours later)
Quotes start with angle brackets
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Got it, thanks!
u/KnickersInAKnit [+1] (3 hours later)
Faint attack not Feint attack? That change of spelling looks deliberate...especially with their post-battle conversation after Zephyr evolves.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Yep, it's meant to be Feint Attack. I know it was mispelled in the earlier versions of the game, but it's meant to be a sneak attack :)
u/CarVac [+1] (7 hours later)
You misspelled Zephyr as "Zephir" once.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/Mizu25 [+1] (a day later)
then goes to examine the dropoff at the edge, brushing wet sand off against this pants.
his pants.
"Oh, I doubt that," Blue says as she slurps from his soup bowl
says as he slurps
"And we save a some money and time skipping evaluations,"
save some money
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
All fixed, thanks!
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
"The applause return"
u/pokepotter4 [+1] (11 days later)
>Blue finally points her dive ball forward
hisnevermind
u/None [+1] (22 hours later)
Fantastic as always! Thanks for the chapter!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thanks, glad you liked it :)