6.7 KiB
[RT] Linear Magic: Oathbreaker - Chapter 1. A low poly 3d graphic novel.
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Author: u/somerandomguy2008 *
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Score: 17
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Created: 2017-05-16T22:48:04
Post:
Comments:
u/somerandomguy2008 [+5] (35 seconds later)
Linear Magic: Oathbreaker is a low poly 3d graphic novel about a girl who, in attempt to raise her friend from the dead, finds herself chapter 1 spoiler. Together, they discover that magic has more potential than most mystics realize, but they'll need to break all the rules to actualize it.
This is experimental and I'm happy to receive any and all feedback. I lurk around these parts, but this is the first time I've released anything here. I've considered telling the story without the graphic element and I'm particularly curious if anyone here values the graphics enough for them to be worth the additional investment of time it takes to produce them.
u/InfernoVulpix [+6] (2 hours later)
On a webcomic I read regularly, the author sometimes goes on a tangent in their commentary to describe how much trouble they had figuring out the background of the new scene or other non-obvious artistic challenges that can nonetheless add hours of work to a page.
I appreciate the novelty of the graphics, and didn't find the style very jarring (goodness knows there are weirder ones out there). Personally, more jarring was the simulation of video through many frames, since I'll go from one-tap-per-thing text frames to tap-as-you-watch video sections, and that causes little awkward moments where 'nothing happens' at the start of them and awkward moments where I skip a frame of text because I didn't stop fast enough, and now I have to go back. With an absence of convenient motion lines and other such methods of indicating motion, however, it doesn't sound trivial to fix. (The only idea I have is a little bar that shows up at the start of video sections to display progress. It would let me know when to shift tap-styles and when to be ready for text again, but I can't be sure it wouldn't interfere with immersion and have no idea if it's viable to implement, so it might not work at all)
For a slight tangent, I admit I got tripped up when the protagonist thought to herself during the conversation with her dad. I thought she was speaking it out loud and got confused and had to reread the part. I find that things like italicizing the text make for a pretty intuitive way of conveying thought.
I doubt you'd be using such an esoteric art style unless you liked the idea. A visual format does significantly change the way the story has to be written, so if you get a good amount into the story and switch to text it's going to be effectively a total rewrite of the thing to accommodate the medium change. The unique art style will help the story stand out, especially since text is such a common medium, but it's very likely going to eat up a lot of time you could instead spend on writing out the story, and if you end up regretting the graphics it'll only get harder to switch to text the further into this you get.
In total, I find the art style interesting, not very jarring, and it's sure to make the story stand out, but I understand that it's going to take great amounts of time and puts you at a higher risk of burning out, especially with the cost of switching to text rising as you advance. If you trust yourself to not let that happen, I don't mind if the updates take longer and I think it's a net benefit to the story. The story itself looks intriguing as well, and polygons or text I look forward to what happens.
edit: another thought on resolving motion sections. To express a single motion happening (instead of something like the hiding-books at the start, which was many motions), it would be possible to split the screen, somewhat like a comic, and show the motion across multiple parts of the same frame. With this, each part of motion sections would be its own distinct motion which would keep the pacing at one-tap-per-thing throughout, but it's probably not viable for all things (like the fade in at the start). Still, it could simplify parts like where the protagonist gets knocked through the air from her ritual.
u/narfanator [+2] (30 minutes later)
I'm going to wait to properly weigh in. In the mean time, can you sell me on the story a bit more?
u/somerandomguy2008 [+5] (an hour later)
I don't know about sell, but I can reveal more of the story. I'll spoiler tag it so anyone who doesn't want to see it.
u/gommm [+1] (10 hours later)
I quite liked the graphics, it made me nostalgic for games I played as a kid :)
The story in itself starts off nicely and is over all too soon (which is a good sign :)). So I'm looking forward to more
u/None [+2] (a day later)
The art style for this looks really bad and is kinda stopping me from being interested in reading it.
u/None [+1] (20 hours later)
I really like the format. And the premise. Please continue.
u/gbear605 [+1] history’s greatest story (a day later)
I liked it on the whole. One issue is that she appears to have just been hanging out in her room, then the fact that her dad came in to the room was impetus for her to put her friend's soul into her head? There doesn't seem (to me) to be any reason for her to have done it when she did rather than an hour earlier, other than that the plot demanded that her dad enter the room first.
I'm definitely very interested in the ideas behind the plot though. Keep on writing!