5.2 KiB
[RT][FF][HF] Naruto. The Need to Become Stronger, Chapter 21: Sense and Simulation
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Author: u/Sophronius The Need to Become Stronger*
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URL: https://needtobecomestronger.wordpress.com/2017/06/25/chapter-21/
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Score: 22
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Created: 2017-06-25T21:53:46
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+4] (23 hours later)
[deleted]
u/Sophronius [+3] The Need to Become Stronger (a day later)
Hi! Cheers for the feedback. Yeah, act 2 was slow to start with - the problem I struggled with was that I Needed to build up the arc so the side-characters weren't 2-dimensional, but at the same time everyone had read the wave arc tons of times already so it made it feel less interesting/exciting to read I expect. Tricky situation.
Fortunately, the next chapter should be almost pure action - and there will be tons more this arc.
u/None [+2] (a day later)
Faithful reader checking in!
Was just wondering if you were doing some sneaky foreshadowing with this, but is that telepathy thing Ao was doing something Naruto could/would learn later on (or soon?).
Cuz I was just reading through parts of the story again, and I started wondering if the fact that the Kyubi in this incarnation seems to be nine minds working in concert contributes to how 'flexible' Naruto's mind is, and the ease with which he uses shadow clones. And then I read this chapter and I realized that if Naruto found some way for him and his clones to communicate mind-to-mind, the parallels would get even stronger. Of course he couldn't be able to 'receive' from too many clones at once, as that would be way too over-powered, but even if he could, at best, receive from 8 other clones simultaneously, he could essentially start functioning as a baby-Kyubi on that battlefield, and that would be awesome.
Plus I think that clone-group-think would be an awesome way to mesh action scenes with thinking scenes without risking boring readers from cutting away from the fighting.
:)
u/Sophronius [+2] The Need to Become Stronger (a day later)
the fact that the Kyubi in this incarnation seems to be nine minds working in concert contributes to how 'flexible' Naruto's mind
I, ah, don't want to confirm or deny any fan theories, but I certainly don't think that one's ever confirmed as a fact. Are you sure you're not thinking of Yudkowsky's "9-brained fox" omake? Or confusing it with Velorien's story?
Instant communication does sound pretty powerful, but I'm not sure he really needs it: He can already create a kind of hive mind by creating clones and then dispelling them, as you saw with him getting instant feedback from Sakura while he was Haku. And of course he can take his time to think while his clones are fighting, so meshing action scenes with analysis works too.
u/None [+1] (a day later)
I thought Naruto had dreams of nine orbs circling each other, seeming to communicate? Or I am remembering that from a different fic, because I'm fairly certain it wasn't in the omake. Or am I misinterpreting the dream segment I am remembering?
u/Sophronius [+2] The Need to Become Stronger (2 days later)
Huh. That sounds like a cool image, but I definitely don't remember writing that! There have been 2 Kyubi scenes so far, and he's only been described as a living fire or as a single burning eye IIRC. If that description is from another fic then I'd like to check it out, because it sounds interesting.
u/None [+2] (2 days later)
OOOOH I remember now! It was probably Lighting Up the Dark, the attempted rational Naruto fic based on the omake. Sorry for the mix up :)
u/None [+1] (2 days later)
ooooh sorry then. I really don't know where I got it from then. Weird. I'll try some google magic and get back to you if I find anything :)
u/Sophronius [+2] The Need to Become Stronger (2 minutes later)
Hmm, it seems that my filler is less popular than the actual story. In a way that's reassuring: I would've hated for crack that takes a day to write to be preferred over the stuff that requires actual work. And really, this wouldn't be a proper Naruto story without some pointless filler that people skip past to get to the good stuff. :p
Looking at this chapter again, I have a vague sense that the beginning is too fast - like it needs more descriptions and less dialogue at the start to set the mood. Does anyone else get that impression, or am I just imagining things again?
u/MaddoScientisto [+3] (13 hours later)
Yeah I'm still not sure what was the deal with Naruko at the beginning
u/Not_Just_You [+4] (2 minutes later)
Does anyone else
Probably
u/Sophronius [+5] The Need to Become Stronger (3 minutes later)
... is this a new bot I'm not familiar with? 0_o
u/Adeen_Dragon [+2] (an hour later)
Doesn't look to be new.
u/Sophronius [+3] The Need to Become Stronger (16 hours later)
Hmmm, an instant review bot which reads your story in under a minute and leaves feedback. I guess Yudkowsky really does visit this subreddit.