scrape_r_rational/data/cache2/6q3ouz.md

[RT][WIP] Worth the Candle, Ch 10

• Author: u/cthulhuraejepsen Fruit flies like a banana*

• URL: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11478249/chapters/26163864

• Score: 29

• Created: 2017-07-28T13:11:54

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u/narfanator [+8] (9 hours later)

Okay, this is really good. I was honestly not expecting it, but you're weaving in a hell of a lot of amazing things. I'm particularly digging the emotionally-deep RPG group asides; they're managing to be commentary of life and plot at the same time. That's really well done, sir.

Also, mad props for the rationalism of the main character - well, of all the characters so far. They feel really real; I can feel them thinking in every interaction. Joon particularly is a nice balance of "wanting to freak out", "if freak out then die", and "discomfortingly familiar".

u/cthulhuraejepsen [+6] Fruit flies like a banana (5 minutes later)

This is a self-insert litRPG portal fantasy, loosely based on my personal experience of falling into a portal to another world and discovering that I had a character sheet attached to my soul.

Another week, another four chapters, so if you were one of those people who doesn't read serials when they first start, you'll be pleased to know that it's up to 44K words now, long enough that things have actually happened (and here's a link to chapter 1, my personal preference on where to start).

Edit: Also, one of my favorite features of AO3, the entire work link so you can read the whole story in a single page load.

u/Ceins [+3] (an hour later)

It also is starting to seem more and more of a bad idea to actually teleport to civilization, what with the potential dissection waiting him. But also because things seem to be getting harder not easier as time goes on and effort is piled up. Like, if he could get some way to get food and water, then his original plan of just grinding seems hell of a lot better then what's going on right now.

u/Charlie___ [+3] (2 hours later)

Seems like it's time to nope out of here. Particularly if leveling up cures hunger! Shame about the soulcycle, though maybe you can replace that rubber hose.

u/xamueljones [+3] My arch-enemy is entropy (5 hours later)

I found an error in the eighth chapter when he accesses settings.

The setting table appears after the line

The problem was, the stats weren’t exposed.

instead of being after the word/line "SETTINGS" which is more sensible and won't be as immersion breaking.

u/cthulhuraejepsen [+1] Fruit flies like a banana (5 hours later)

Yeah, that was definitely a screwup on my part, thanks.

u/xamueljones [+4] My arch-enemy is entropy (5 hours later)

Found two more errors in chapter ten.

“I’d like to take them with,” I found myself saying.

'us' should be after 'with'.

While I was there, I tried to uncheck some of the options, like the one informing me that

That line just ends immediately after the word 'that'.

PS This is a great story with a confusing game interface (so intriguingly different from the simple to use ones from other stories) and a genuinely fascinating world our protagonist is in.

u/cthulhuraejepsen [+3] Fruit flies like a banana (5 hours later)

Thanks, and glad you enjoy it.

(I am afraid that the speed of this story means that there are going to be a fair number of typos, especially since I do very little editing, but hopefully there are relatively few that take people out of the story.)

u/ViceroyChobani [+3] Reserve Pigeon Army (2 days later)

{insert incredibly positive review}

I'll post a more thought out review when I'm not feeling less like I'm coming down with the plague, but I really like this.

u/Aretii [+2] Cultist of Cthugha (a day later)

Well, I'm hooked.

I'd explain why, but /u/narfanator already said everything I want to.

u/FudgeOff [+2] (a day later)

I like it.

One thing; it's mentioned that food scarcity is a major issue, and that this has resulted in survival rates dropping a great deal. I assume this means that eating zombies isn't a good idea?

There's also cannibalism, but other humans appear to be much rarer than zombies, especially as time goes on. You'd have to be pretty sociopathic to immediately kill someone and then haul their carved-up corpse along with you as food.

u/adgnatum [+1] (2 months later)

Circling back because I think I read some of these chapters too quickly.

an assurance that I death was still on the line.

s/I/my

she had good trigger discipline and impeccable aimed

aim (which, to be fair, AOL is shutting down)

mid-sized one that we’d faced down just outside of comfort

Comfort (although to be fair, it would be outside my comfort zone too)

u/cthulhuraejepsen [+1] Fruit flies like a banana (2 months later)

Fixed all those, thank you.

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