3.3 KiB
[RT][FF] Scar's Samsara 5: Karma. In which actions turn out to have consequences.
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Author: u/Sophronius The Need to Become Stronger*
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Score: 37
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Created: 2017-08-25T19:57:02
Post:
Comments:
u/Sophronius [+8] The Need to Become Stronger (14 hours later)
You know, when I had finished the oneshot and tried to figure out who the main antagonist of the story should be, I wasn't sure Rafiki was really impressive enough to fit the bill. But the more I think about it: He's a mystical kung-fu battle wizard who uses obfuscating eccentricity to hide his true power. He's basically a Naruto villain!
(Does anyone else see the potential for an amazing crossover with NTBS???)
Also, regarding Simba's vision: In Hamlet, I can't help but notice that the ghost tells the MC useful information such as "by the way your uncle totes killed me, you should fight him". Does Mufasa do this in canon? Nope. In fact, Mufasa only tells Simba exactly what he expects to hear - that he's shirking responsibility and that he should feel guilty about that. Realizing this played a big part for me in deciding how exactly I wanted the spirits and their powers to play out in this story.
u/ketura [+9] Organizer (3 hours later)
*the lion you've become
u/Sophronius [+3] The Need to Become Stronger (14 hours later)
Heh. Not sure if serious, but I usually try to steer clear of using too many ponyisms/smurfisms, since I think it detracts from the scene by making it too silly. Also, 'man' just means 'adult' in this case - maybe I should change it to that... hm.
u/MonstrousBird [+5] (18 hours later)
I found the word 'man' threw me off as well, as another datapoint...
u/Sophronius [+1] The Need to Become Stronger (2 days later)
Well, you know how the saying goes: The plural of datumpoint is datapoint.
....
Wait, that's not a saying? It totally should be.
...
Uhm. The point being, I'll change it! Thanks a bunch for the feedback. Nothing sucks more than having an otherwise clear and well-written sentence lose its impact due to a single poorly chosen potato.
u/Kosijenac [+5] (48 minutes later)
Will Scar live? Will he die? Will he come out on top? Will Simba hate him? Find out all this and more in the next chapter.
More seriously, this chapter was fantastic. It really, really seems to setup the denouement well. Also, it didn't feel fast forwarded at all unlike the last chapter. Congrats.
u/Sophronius [+2] The Need to Become Stronger (14 hours later)
Cheers! Originally I was going to combine this chapter and the last one, but I guess it's a good thing I didn't then.
u/MagicWeasel [+3] Cheela Astronaut (a day later)
Thank you for a new chapter! I'm really enjoying the additional chapters - chapter 1 seemed very haphazardly produced compared with these, which tell a story, have some great development, and don't waste time. Can't wait to see how it ends! Thank you.
I thought chapter 1 was very good so it's a compliment for chapters 2-4 rather than casting aspersions on chapter 1.