25 KiB
[RT][FF][WIP] Harry and Hermione Starring in: The Digital Revolution
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Author: u/EthanCC *
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11922890/1/Harry-and-Hermione-Starring-in-The-Digital-Revolution
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Score: 39
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Created: 2017-12-12T20:19:54
Post:
Comments:
u/patil-triplet [+9] (a day later)
So, I like most rational fics. But I couldn't really make my way past the first chapter:
- The Portkey to the volcano: It's not that easy. Voldemort himself says it during the graveyard scene, "He is protected better than he knows." Hogwarts is layered with protections, and portkeying Harry isn't that easy. Combine that with Dumbledore's presence, and Harry is relatively safe. The Triwizard tournament only worked because I assume Dumbledore tweaked the protection to allow the cup back to the starting point, and Crouch Jr took advantage of that.
- Harry rushed headfirst into danger: In the first 3 books, Harry and co. attempt to find a teacher. In PS, McGonagall tells them to forget about it. In CoS, they go to Lockhart, who they think is a competent wizard. In PoA, Sirius grabs Ron forcing them into the situation.
- Mary Sue: Hermione is just too perfect here. Canon Hermione is a deep character with real flaws. She's brilliant, but vindictive. Intelligent, but narrow-minded. By the Deathly Hallows, the three of them truly balance each other out. Somehow in the years since the final book release, there's this idea that's taken hold, that Hermione did the thinking for them. Personally, I think Forging the Sword gets the trio better.
- Hindsight bias: The author forgets, that during CoS, no one, not even Dumbledore suspected Voldemort was 2 years away from returning. It was the events of PoA and the 2nd prophecy that set events in motion. This would be an appropriate point of divergence to "get ready"
- Harry the Unprepared: Canon Harry was prepared. He prepares thoroughly for the 3rd task. He learns several spells well above his age level, and they save his life in the graveyard. At 15, he's teaching kids 2 years his senior. He does a lot of learning off screen, because by book 7, he knows several new spells and defensive enchantments. He's so knowledgeable, that Hermione defers to him on a lot of matters on dark arts in the latter 3 books. He doesn't have much trouble with death eaters that have years on him at the end.Fact is, he's never going to be on Voldemort's level. He's got a skill gap and a 50 year headstart on him. So, he prepared by understanding his opponent intimately. It's what helps him realize the location of the diadem.
There are holes and inconsistencies in the wizarding world. But, this fic feels like it's poking holes that don't exist.
u/crusher_bob [+9] (a day later)
- Hermione is pointing out that Harry is taking no thought about his personal security. They know that port keys exist; they may not know of all the specific protections that Harry has on him, but from what they know sending him to a volcano is at least possible. And stabbing him to death after class seems trivially easy.
- And no one takes the time to sit down with Harry to explain anything.
- Canon Hermione is so OP that just making her a bit more mature reveals how OP she really is. Turning Canon!Ron into someone useful to Rational!Harry fighting Rational!Voldemort takes lots of work. Canon!Hermione would already be helpful, and making her into Rational!OP!Hermione takes a bit of butterfly flapping.
- In the past 2 years, V has made attempts to return to life that had a significant chance of success. From these (admittedly sparse) data points, it seems highly like that V will be back before 5 years are out, and will almost certainly be back before 10 years are out.
- Canon Harry is prepared like a very dedicated school athlete (or something) trains for their sport. Sitting down and thinking about it shows that Harry's preparation should have been done more systematic and much more in depth.
u/patil-triplet [+3] (2 days later)
Neither of them knew that portkeys existed at that point in the series. Harry definitely has a low level of wariness, but constantly being paranoid starts elevating him to Madeye levels, which is probably worse for him.
Dumbeldore seems to be a firm believer in the socratic method. In HBP, he never outright tells Harry anything. He asks that Harry reason it out himself. Witholding the prophecy was a mistake, but a mistake that kept Dumbledore human, and a character instead of a Mary Sue.
Ron's biggest strength is his emotional support for Harry. He sticks by him through a lot (DH not withstanding), and someone Harry relates to on a personal level. Also, Ron and Harry are "lazy" exactly one time in canon-5th year when they play quidditch instead of working on homework. Other than that, he works rather hard and is a good wizard. He's also the source of wizarding lore and culture for the 3 of them. Hermione, despite her knowledge, didn't grow up in a magical household, and missess out on salient details (beedle the bard). Lastly, Ron is a good duellist. He held several death eaters off his and Tonks' tail in the Battle of the Seven Potters. Tonks remarks, "He stunned 3 of them in the face" which is effectively killing them. 3b. Canon Hermione isn't as OP as people think. She had her flaws. In DH, Harry realizes the truth behind the Hallows first, but Hermione refuses to believe that they exist in the first place. As Harry says to Dumbledore, "Hallows, not Horcruxes."
Voldemort has made 1 attempt. The CoS, to almost everyone, was a memory left behind. Dumbledore has kept track of Voldemort, and he's still lingering out near Albania. He's a shade, with no real supporters, and powerless. The diary is a failsafe, not an active comeback attempt.
How more systematic. A lot of his preparation magic wise is off screen. He's talented and handles every other death eater at this point. Dumbledore prepares him well, giving him information for the hunt. The only thing he could have done better, was prepare the technicalities of the hunt better, supplies, etc.
u/ben_oni [+3] (2 days later)
- Canon Harry is prepared like a very dedicated school athlete (or something) trains for their sport. Sitting down and thinking about it shows that Harry's preparation should have been done more systematic and much more in depth.
I think it's clear by Deathly Hallows that Harry was never going to be able to defeat Voldemort by magical knowledge or skill. In the end, he wins by sacrificing himself for his friends.
In Order of the Phoenix, when Snape is explaining occlumency to Harry, he says this, which perfectly exemplifies the difference between Harry and Voldemort:
Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers!
The systematic preparation that Harry received wasn't to make him skillful enough to defeat You-Know-Who, but to help him become the sort of person You-Know-Who couldn't defeat. Dumbledore's plan was essentially to destroy the horcruxes and let Voldemort defeat himself. It wasn't until Dumbedore realized he wouldn't be able to deal with all the horcruxes himself that he let Harry in on that facet of the plan.
That said, in Digital Revolution, I expect a completely different sort of approach to be taken.
u/patil-triplet [+2] (2 days later)
One thing to note-by DH, Harry has a reasonable grasp on occlumency and legilimency. At the end of the book, he's actively delving into Voldemort's mind, which is how he realizes the diadem is at Hogwarts.
But, yes I agree with you. Dumbledore planned and helped Harry understand his enemy, and then let said enemy beat himself. I think it's in OotP, that Dumbledore says that is how all tyrants fall. They mark their own enemy, and then defeat themselves
u/ben_oni [+2] (2 days later)
They mark their own enemy, and then defeat themselves
It's not true, though. Not as a generalization. Many tyrants just keep going until they die, and their heirs take over. Eventually the tyrannical system collapses, but often due to unforced mistakes.
In terms of Harry Potter, I can accept the trope: Voldemort is a particularly flawed villain, and Dumbledore exploited those flaws perfectly.
In terms of fanfic, however, we can change things as needed. For instance, Voldemort doesn't need to duel Harry at the end of Goblet of Fire. His arrogance led him to the unforced mistake of putting a deadly and powerful weapon with near limitless potential in the hands of his enemy. He should have just killed the boy and been done with it, and then summoned his Death Eaters.
u/patil-triplet [+1] (2 days later)
Ah, I was quoting Dumbledore, not making a generalization.
Voldemort's decisions are more than just arrogance. From a young age, Voldemort shows a need to completely dominate, especially those that have wronged him. That's what the cave incident was about, and that's what the graveyard was about
u/wnoise [+1] (2 days later)
Why do you consider vindictive to be a flaw?
u/patil-triplet [+2] (2 days later)
It's situational. I used vindictive there mostly because it had a nice rythm.
But, vindictiveness can be a flaw, especially for a rational character. The defenition is "a strong or unreasoning desire for revenge" There are moments where it can overpower objective thinking.
u/wnoise [+1] (2 days later)
I see it as an evolved precommitment. In a shallow sense it's irrational, but having emotions that cause you to retaliate, even at some cost, is a good deterrent towards attacks against you.
u/ben_oni [+1] (2 days later)
Hindsight bias: The author forgets, that during CoS, no one, not even Dumbledore suspected Voldemort was 2 years away from returning. It was the events of PoA and the 2nd prophecy that set events in motion. This would be an appropriate point of divergence to "get ready"
So... this story picks up summer of '93. I expect there are real-world reasons for that.
u/EthanCC [+7] (a minute later)
I haven't seen this on here yet, so I decided to link it. This is the next fanfic from the guy who wrote The Moon's Apprentice, which I suggest you read as well. I am not the author. So far it looks really good, definitely worth checking out.
u/I_am_your_BRAIN [+2] (an hour later)
What's the update schedule like?
u/EthanCC [+4] (2 hours later)
It's still early enough he may be posting pre-written stuff, but Moon's Apprentice was about 2.5 chapters a month, until around the end when there were increasingly long hiatuses (apparently the author was suffering from depression at the time).
u/Lugnut1206 [+2] (3 hours later)
is this a sequel?
u/mcgruntman [+5] (3 hours later)
TMA was a rationalfic in the My Little Pony universe - one of my favourites. This linked fic is in the Harry Potter universe, and has been pretty good so far.
u/JackStargazer [+7] Primordial Apologist (9 hours later)
I've read it up to current. It's not bad.
There are definitely HPMOR influences here, Harry reads as a slightly more rational normal Harry with a bit of Draco Malfoy from HPMOR, and Hermione reads like a combo of HPMOR Harry and Hermione.
I like the characterization of Hermione's parents, as actual human beings, and the explanations of some of the canon universe's foiblesa re relatively well done.
All in all I'm optimistic about this one.
u/space_fountain [+6] (18 hours later)
Also chiming in to say I liked it. Definitely a bit of a Mary Sue, but I honestly kind of like it anyway. The writing could also be better at times, but again I do like it.
I'm just worried we'll never see another update. It looks like the last one was in October.
u/ben_oni [+2] (2 days later)
That probably just means he hit the end of his buffer, and writing more is harder than he anticipated.
u/SoylentRox [+3] (3 days later)
I don't think this is a very good story by my tastes. Basically, it's too slow. 94k words and the author hasn't actually delivered on even the beginnings of such a 'digital revolution'. That's the hook - I want to see whatever the author means by that phrase. Whether it be our wizard heroes manage to get a PC from the 1990s to work at Hogwarts or they make turing complete wards and then make their own super-spells, etc.
Instead it's just a glacially section of basically tell instead of show. Endless conversations. Yeah, there are changes to canon but a lot of it is just the author venting about weak points in the setting of Harry Potter and not actual forward progress.
u/josephwdye [+1] I love you (a day later)
I read part of the first chapter, is just going to shit on Ron a ton? I would like to see Ron be part of the group.
u/crusher_bob [+7] (a day later)
The problem that most 'serious' HP stories have with Ron is that he's just a kid. In a story about going to magical high school, that fine. In a story where HP has to up his game because rational magical Hitler is trying to kill him, Ron isn't good for much. He's a decidedly average 11 year old boy who's apparently pretty good at chess.
u/Calsem [+4] (a day later)
on the other hand, fanfiction has the liberty to do whatever it wants with the characters. Ron could easily be buffed instead of being removed entirely.
u/crusher_bob [+9] (2 days later)
Problem is that buffing Ron seems to be a lot harder than buffing Hermione and at least harder than buffing Harry.
But I'll sit down for a few minutes and try to think of ways to buff Ron.
- Magical Space Battler Ron. Ron's love of games is not just limited to chess. He's played all sorts of wizard war games and RPGs too. He knows about things like scry and die, efficient magical ambush tactics, the logistics of magical murder-hoboing and so one. In addition, he's had several years as the twins magical punching bag, so he has plenty of actual practical experience about spotting, evading, and countering magical [s]pranks[/s] traps.
- Lazy effective shortcut Ron. He's spent plenty of time coming up with the least effort ways to to things, so when, for example, Hermione suggests a course of action that will take hundreds of hours of research in the library, Ron is able to come up with some shortcut that will answer the question with much less effort.
- Weasley family as their own demographic. Ron's grandparents had as many kids as his parents had. His aunts and uncles do too. If Harry needs an army, a terrible red headed one is readily available to the sorta-adopted Weasley brother.
- Masterchef Ron. Having been trained in magical cooking (and potions brewing) by him mam, it's Ron, not Hermione, who can brew polyjuice in a toilet bowl.
u/Calsem [+4] (2 days later)
Good ideas, I like them. Here's another one:
glue Ron: Harry and hermoine, famous kid hero and girl genuis, often butt heads. Ron is the only person who can lead and unify the team as an effective fighting force.
u/Airgineer1 [+6] (a day later)
Up to the 7th chapter here, its a good story but no, Ron gets no real redeeming qualities. In fact i think Hermione blames half of Harry's problems on trying to emulate Ron.
u/josephwdye [+2] I love you (a day later)
meh, going to pass on this till it finishes or I get really desperate. Thanks for your replay!
u/RMcD94 [+1] (15 days later)
The author's anachronisism and Americanisms really undermine the story. Is it hard to find a Brit who would tell you that they'd never say the word jailbird... Also the modern obsession with shoving Doctor Who everywhere, it got cancelled for a reason
Are video game controllers really applicable to wand movements? No is the answer. Wand movement is all in your wrist there's literally zero eye coordination required. Nothing remotely like a gameboy or console controller where literally all the movement is in your fingers.
There's also no way in hell 12 year old Harry knows a thing about the Vietnam war. In primary school history in the final year we were covering ancient Egypt, writing our name in hieroglyphics, not learning about American history...
If anything why the fuck wouldn't Harry make the obvious connection to the only actual terrorists he will be aware of and who map way better, the IRA. Indeed the whole fucking absurd section about them talking about history and never mentioning the troubles is literally ridiculous.
Why do these stories always have to diminish the ability of things? Suddenly phoenix tears struggle with scar tissue? You could literally just carve the scar off and heal it again...
Also can't imagine a 12 year old boy raised by the Dursley to say that he'd have to be high. Honestly I feel like half the authors of Harry Potter fanfiction have never even spoken to any 12 year old much less one from Surrey in 1990
He would say pj's not nightwear??? How posh do you think these people are?
At the very least have a list of all of the dialogue Harry ever uses in the books for comparison.
I don't recall Hermione also being a musical genuis at age 12 either. Violin, piano, every subject well past primary and even secondary education, plus at least for some shared period all of magic, and then she also reads thousands of fiction novels and watches movies and TV shows to reference them. Then we have all the trial things like ballet, you don't do ballet for a week and then play a role, you're talking months.
Also GREW OUT OF THEIR ACCENTS??.? What the fuck is that borderline racist nonsense? Accents aren't some childish speech impediment what the fuck... It makes her total ignorance on the IRA even less coherent since she's bound to have family members involved.
And then she says she knows the waltz instead of the gay gordon or something that would actually be taught by a Scottish parent...
I just hate how many talents this author wants to cram into a 12 year old. I want them to give me an hour by hour detail of Hermione's entire life and I dare them to even attempt to manage to fit in sleep school and literally everything under the sun. She has learned the fiddle the violin the piano probably the bagpipes harp guitar drums and any other instrument that's ever existed.
"Minerva picked out a Scottish jig over the background noise. No, that's of Celtic origin."
Turns out Scottish folk music isn't celtic, huh, someone should tell them.
For those of you who will wonder, they're both starting out as kids in 1993, s
The author is actually aware of this fact? Well colour me surprised.
"What she means to say," Harry said, "is muggle education has come a long way. The upper class muggleborn back then would have been able to read, write, multiply, and such, but everyone else learnt their trade and not much else. Literacy was a precious gift for centuries after Rome collapsed and life became complete bollocks for everyone. These days, however, we educate from age five to eighteen just for mandatory, general knowledge. A lot of people go to university afterwards for another four years to learn a science or an art in depth, and some go even further for at least another four years to become… The equivalent here would be a master of their discipline."
Harry suddenly an expert in ancient Rome and medieval literacy rates as well as class structure and division? Also considering I am confident that Harry had absolutely no life expectations I cannot see where he would even learn this information, it's not like he has an older siblings attending university, certainly I doubt Vernon or Petunia went.
Also university takes three years in England... Mandatory education stops at 16 in Scotland so I'd imagine it'd be the same in England.
Besides which history in primary school is not taught with numbers and dates and the such, Harry has never attended secondary and as such has no experience of having to remember random dates.
The concept of children being taught to read and write by people other than their parents is not new for Tonks. If you seriously expect me to believe that Malfoy went through the annoying process of attempting to teach a five year old to write... The author changed the world so there are multiple secondary schools but somehow primary school absence is coherent in anyway?
A reminder that primary schools are largely a day care place, since the author implied that Mrs Weasley is unusual in not having a job how exactly do two working parents look after a kid?
Not that I'm recommending the method, but I think you shocked me out of the early stages of a panic attack. Thanks for that."
Not even adults talk like this, if you are going to give up writing human dialogue why not just have them announce their inhuman nature immediately....
Why has Susan memorised this random trivia from a hundred years ago, her knowing the story I get but memorising the dates?
Not that Hermione could claim to know much more despite being a wealthy heiress herself.
Her parents are dentists right?
then… I think Mum does our taxes.
You don't do taxes in the UK unless you're self employed or running a business and in both of those situations you'd pay an accountant to do them for you.
I'm not sure how familiar a young girl in 1993 would be with the concept of being a gold digger to then casually use that phrase around her parents, never mind cougar... Before the Internet kids were barely knew how to swear by the time they leave primary.
Name me a single primary school that has the monkeys paw on the syllabus
Hermione paused at that, not having thought Harry was shy enough to want one at school
What? Dressing gowns are for cozyness not privacy...
Although now, thanks to you, I have to figure out how to work the VCR remote
And now Harry is an idiot, the Dursley's certainly have a vcr and Harry has certainly watched films on it sneakily
I honestly don't even know if they're religious. I
Vernon absolutely has strong opinions on the IRA and there's no way you'd live with him for that long and not know if he was going to church even if he didn't shout at the news on the TV. Especially for Christmas, and fuck in the 80s primary schools will have made Harry pray every assembly anyway.
What rpg edition could Dad Granger have possibly be playing in the 80s with resurrection being common?
Also I just realised that it's amusing that Hermione is all about equality but I don't think she ever comments on the gender segregation at Hogwarts, unequal segregation at that, not like it's a water fountain for whites and one for blacks it's girls getting better security.
nd hitting her children with a broom when angered
Bit rich coming from someone who regularly physically assaults an abused child...
Not really. Just that it exists."
Wow finally a reasonable level of education for a tween.
To be fair," Harry began, "I've never actually touched a computer myself."
I suppose this one is more possible, but Dudley and Harry went to the same at least reasonable primary school. IT has been part of the curriculum for a while, they should have at least one computer.
magical MacGuffin
In the days before TV tropes and the Internet Hermione still finds time to watch Hitchcock
weakness for s'mores on holiday in the States when I was younger."
Every fucking story, of course when you go on holiday to Disneyland you go cooking in camp fires... Side note do people actually say the states? I can't remember ever hearing a Brit say that. I went to America or the USA or even say Florida sure.
Bit annoyed that they don't take the clothes to charity.
u/EthanCC [+2] (16 days later)
To be fair a lot of these complaints are something you wouldn't know unless you actually lived in/grew up in the UK. For example, in America you would grow up knowing about the Vietnam war and never hear about the IRA until high school, it's just not something that crosses your mind when thinking of this sort of thing. It's not like you can learn about how someone from a certain area thinks or what historical facts come up first in their minds just from doing research.
u/RMcD94 [+1] (16 days later)
I guess but isn't that why people have British beta readers?
I mean I know if I was writing a Harry Potter story I would definitely try and get someone from Surrey to beta read. As someone from Scotland I recognise that there's no way I can write that perspective without either a beta or by researching say the standard primary school syllabus.
At the very least I would just assume that they would not learn about the Highland clearances for example