2.6 KiB
[RT] Went Forth Unconquered (Narnia)
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Author: u/andor3333 *
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Score: 39
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Created: 2017-12-26T19:03:24
Post:
Comments:
u/Anderkent [+9] (3 hours later)
The first half of this got my hopes up for a good Susan exposition story. Alas, it falls flat shortly afterwards.
On one hand, yes, Susan is a character treated very unfairly by the Author, and I like her fanfics much more. This short story aims in the right direction, but in the end the main plot point seems arbitrary. A couple pot shots at Narnia's limited world-building does not a good story make.
u/andor3333 [+4] (5 hours later)
What part was arbitrary? The place that Susan went was mentioned in "The Magician's Nephew." The flood is mentioned in "The Last Battle." Zardeenah was in the stories as a Calormene god.
u/Evan_Th [+7] Sunshine Regiment (12 hours later)
To me, it seems arbitrary for Zardeenah to be suddenly hearing Susan in England now, when she's never displayed any power before in England. Nor, frankly, has she anywhere in the series. Given Tash's sudden appearance in Last Battle, I could pardon Zardeenah's appearing somewhere in the Narnian world, but she's still almost an OC.
Then, Zardeenah helps Susan with a flashy miracle of teleporting a bow and arrows from dead, frozen Narnia; even Aslan hardly ever does anything so flashy. This's explained by her being "faithful far beyond death" - to Susan, who performed Zardeenah's rites only once, and in her reign was always a faithful servant of Aslan.
Finally, Susan goes off adventuring with the magic rings. I can easily see that. That'd be a good start to a story. But the story I see on the page isn't that.
u/andor3333 [+1] (21 hours later)
There was some creative license going on with introducing Zardeenah. Honestly I thought that too. On the other hand Tash and Aslan both interfered in the series, and things were transfered between worlds various times. Also she did offer up the magical rings that allow you to world hop as an offering so it wasn't just "hey remember that one time..."
u/Anderkent [+7] (5 hours later)
I guess I didn't buy "Susan only spent time in England for her siblings, and now that they're dead she can resume adventuring" thing at all. The point isn't that the places are made up; it's that it makes no sense to me for Susan to never use the rings while the other siblings were alive if she wanted to do anything like this.