16 KiB
[RT][FF] Naruto. The Need to Become Stronger, Chapter 33: The Power to Protect
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Author: u/Sophronius The Need to Become Stronger*
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URL: https://needtobecomestronger.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/chapter-33/
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Score: 40
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Created: 2018-01-28T16:55:01
Post:
Comments:
u/None [+8] (3 hours later)
I like it. Too many stories try to hammer home the point that quick wits can overcome strength: but they always tend to ignore the fact that it is possible to be overwhelmingly strong. Sometimes the smartest decision is just to become stronger.
I do wish Shino had won his fight though. Rational Aburame seem broken powerful, hindered only by how many bugs they can bring into combat at once. If they ever figured out how to somehow carry bugs in seals they would be ridiculously strong.
u/Sophronius [+6] The Need to Become Stronger (5 hours later)
I felt the same way at first, but it really depends on the specifics: How fast are the bugs, exactly? If they're too slow, then the enemy can just outrun them. Sure, you can spread them out over a large area to make them impossible to dodge (as canon showed), but then the enemy can just run through them and only a few will stick. And you might get the windshield effect where they just die on impact, given the insane speed at which ninjas move.
Also, area effect techniques like the ones Temari or Sasuke use would be brutally effective against them - explosive tags work well too. So I really see the Aburame as specialists who are incredibly effective when they are in a support role, but can be negated fairly easily with the right counter.
(Carrying bugs in seals does not work because they have chakra - being able to seal chakra by itself would already be extremely powerful)
u/sicutumbo [+4] (10 hours later)
Aburame could put bugs on enemy ninja beforehand, and then have a way to distinguish between any shadow/other clones and the original person. Not a viable strategy for a tournament, but would be extremely useful in actual ninja life.
u/None [+3] (20 hours later)
luls this post just made me realize that a lot of the Aburame weaknesses are countered by them living in the forest. The dense vegetation provides perfect cover for their bugs, the trees means enemies can't simply sprint in straight lines but must slow down (even for an instant) to turn, and the forest acts as natural barriers for any AoE attacks except for fire (and the Aburame just happened to ally themselves with the largest group of fire users in world)...
Perhaps more than any other clan, the Aburame made the smartest decision why they chose to join with Konoha, rather than the other villages. The other clans could have done well pretty much anywhere, but the Aburame managed to settle in the one place where they would do best.
u/None [+2] (2 days later)
thats actually a good explanation why they are one of the four noble clans of Konohagakure in canon
u/kaukamieli [+2] (16 hours later)
I bet chakra would protect the bugs from the windshield thing.
u/Sophronius [+5] The Need to Become Stronger (16 hours later)
Well sure. I bet chakra protects against syphilis too, for that matter. There's not a whole lot it can't do, is what I'm saying.
u/4t0m [+5] Chaos Legion (17 hours later)
It's probably my fanboy nature speaking, but I am sad to see Sasuke come across as sort of lame in his recent fights. There are a few things that contribute to this:
The power levels are of various characters seem relatively balanced. That is, most of the ninja in the exam seem within a relatively narrow band of strength.
The protagonists seem weaker (relative to their peers) than is typical of naruto fanfiction? (See the second phase of the exam.)
Not much "cool" stuff. I'm not sure what's going on with this. Certainly it's related to the fact that Sasuke was running away for a bunch of his fight with Temari, and in both of his fights it looked like he was doing relatively simple stuff. It wasn't that visually interesting (in my imagination...) and not that clever seeming. Actually, of what we've seen in this round of the exam, only Sakura's performance struck me as cool in the way I'm craving, and even still it wasn't the focus of the prose. It's hard to say what makes me less excited/impressed by the characters in this story, but part of it may be that few words are devoted to the specifics of the action in the combat scenes, leading the fights to seem pretty simple/straightforward. I imagine some of this is that you are going for realism. (I'll say this a lot in this comment, but all of the fights against Haku were great.) There is a little bit of the "taking turns" dynamic in some of the fights, which is less exciting and slows down the pace.
Also, minor, but it doesn't really seem like he got too much mileage out of getting info from Hinata, as he was surprised several times by Neji. Maybe talking with Hinata inspired Sasuke to use that darkness jutsu at the end? (Speaking of which, it is not clear to me why he didn't use this much earlier on. Did Neji make some mistake in the darkness that he wouldn't have made if he were less triggered emotionally? Was Sasuke hoping to avoid using that technique, only to end up pulling it out when the match was harder than expected, or when Neji finally got to him?)
I'm holding out hope that Sasuke is hiding some stuff, and his true strength is a bit higher than what's been demonstrated.
I will say, as much as I was a bit disappointed with the fight, I think you did a great job with Sakura in this chapter, in a way that deepened their relationship and made me much more interested in it. It felt less like a silly crush and more like something truly important to a mature, 3-d human. It's hard to tell from Hinata's behavior in this chapter whether she's gained any confidence through Sasuke's sharingan. She spoke up, but in a relatively timid manner, and, given that different authors have different interpretations of her character, it's hard to tell whether this is supposed to come across as unusual for her.
For some reason I'm not resonating as much with Naruto's motivation here as I was with the philosophical tension between Naruto/Haku and Sasuke/Haku in the Waves arc. I'm not sure what's going on there, but it may just be that the conflict hasn't hit its climax yet. I'd have to do a re-read to see whether I already felt a deep resonance at the comparable point in that arc.
In other news, the tournament bracket is really tripping me up. Since in many ways this story has stayed close to what has happened in canon, and even if that weren't the case, Naruto v Gaara is the natural point of climax for this arc, so I am expecting something big to happen when they fight. (Wondering how much to read into the exact phrasing of "A rationalist rewrite of Naruto" (as seen on the tagline) as opposed to "interpretation" or "fanfic".) Again, fanboy-ing, but it makes me sad to think Sasuke may not have another moment to shine in the tournament.
In any case, I am truly loving this story. It's my favorite fic currently updating, and I feel super lucky that it updates as often as it does.
u/Sophronius [+5] The Need to Become Stronger (19 hours later)
Wow, long comment! Nice!
It's hard to say what makes me less excited/impressed by the characters in this story, but part of it may be that few words are devoted to the specifics of the action in the combat scenes, leading the fights to seem pretty simple/straightforward. I imagine some of this is that you are going for realism.
Ooh, that's not good, since I thought these fight scenes were really good, but thanks for telling me. Yes, I very definitely try to keep things realistic, and this has a huge impact on how these scenes go. I spend ages thinking everything through from the perspective of both sides, writing overviews of their respective abilities and figuring out what I would do in their situation - and for a lot of cool stuff, I just think I would just never actually try that in real life. The simplest solution is usually the best and cleverness will get you killed, as Kakashi keeps explaining to his team. It's one of the big lessons of NTBS that is supposed to contrast with HPMOR.
That said, with the fight in Haku I went to great lengths to put them in a situation where cleverness would be justified by A) making the situation sufficiently desperate, B) making it so that Haku doesn't just teleport away, C) have Naruto/Sasuke be stubborn enough to fight him in the first place. The whole setup took ages to work out, and I can see why most writers don't bother.
This is also why Naruto has to be kind of irrational in this regard: You just don't get epic fight scenes unless you have a main character who keeps getting himself in desperate situations!
I'm holding out hope that Sasuke is hiding some stuff, and his true strength is a bit higher than what's been demonstrated.
I don't want to spoil my own story, but it should be clear at this point that Sasuke is planning something. You already had the scene with Hinata where he learns everything he can about Neji and uses genjutsu on her, then when next you see him he is very deliberately taunting Neji in the stands (the only reason he has that conversation with Naruto is because he knows Neji is reading their lips). Then there are the hints in this chapter:
“Sage’s Sacred Tools…” Tenten’s hands went to her mouth. “Neji’s destroying him.”
No, thought Sakura. You’re only looking at the facts, but you should look at his eyes. The truth is always in his eyes…
Neji came charging forward once again, and this time Sasuke body-flickered away – only for Neji to body-flicker after him and send him crashing to the ground with another burst of invisible force.
And yet, somehow, Sasuke still thought he was winning. No, more than that, it was like he was not looking at Neji at all…
Neji lunged at him with one hand, and Sasuke raised his right arm to block in reflex, but the limb shuddered upon contact and fell lifelessly to Sasuke’s side. For one second Sasuke’s eyes widened in panic, but then he turned his body and blocked Neji’s next attack with his right shoulder instead, which slumped as well.
On the surface, Sasuke’s face was slack. His right arm was numb, his body torn and bloody, but his eyes… his eyes were like she had only seen them once before; right before Sasuke had fought Haku back in the ice and snow, right after he had seen Naruto fall. His left hand was shaking ever so slightly.
The whole thing is written from Sakura's perspective instead of Sasuke's, which should already be cause for suspicion, but even she is not fooled in the slightest. It's Neji she's worried about, even as he appears to be destroying Sasuke in front of the whole audience. This is also supposed to show that despite the worries she expresses at the start, she does in fact know him pretty well.
I think you did a great job with Sakura in this chapter, in a way that deepened their relationship and made me much more interested in it. It's hard to tell from Hinata's behavior in this chapter whether she's gained any confidence through Sasuke's sharingan.
Good to know!
For some reason I'm not resonating as much with Naruto's motivation here as I was with the philosophical tension between Naruto/Haku and Sasuke/Haku in the Waves arc. I'm not sure what's going on there, but it may just be that the conflict hasn't hit its climax yet. I'd have to do a re-read to see whether I already felt a deep resonance at the comparable point in that arc.
I'd be curious to hear it! Either way, I think you should like the next chapter :)
Again, fanboy-ing, but it makes me sad to think Sasuke may not have another moment to shine in the tournament.
This is mainly because of my re-imagination of him as a rationalist character. Canon!Sasuke has his whole family murdered by the strongest shinobi ever, and his answer is... to go after him by himself, refusing any help whatsoever. NTBS Sasuke is smart, and comes to a very different conclusion - one that lends less to him being an epic warrior, and more to what you're seeing here.
u/RynnisOne [+5] (21 hours later)
First off, let me say I disagree with the previous poster who said that these were not good fight scenes. I rather enjoy them, myself, they are more cerebral than the source material. If you watch the original work, it's a lot of cool, pointless effects for most of the fighting, followed by them pulling some 'trick', the opponent doing a new one, etc, etc, with as many times as is necessary until the final one as required by plot.
More important, I like your Sasuke. This may not mean much to you, as I am but a random name on a message board, but I don't have near enough space to contain my sheer loathing of the original character. The one who created him admitted he was designed to be this "cold, proud genius" type character, but then he goes off and does the most retarded things whilst treating everyone like trash for absolutely no reason whatsoever. At least Sakura eventually realizes she keeps getting rescued and decides to get stronger to better empower the team. My basis for comparison for most terrible, poorly-written anime characters usually comes down to the level of saying "Well, at least he's not Sasuke!"
Yours? Yours I like. When he pisses someone off, it's not because he's being an ass for the sake of being an ass. It's because he's either trying to mess with their head so it throws them off their game in a fight or because he's trying to get them to slip up and reveal something secret. He tries to use the least effort to solve a problem or win a fight, not just because it is more efficient, but because it lets him further infuriate his foes into believing he's not really trying. And yet, should it be necessary or more effective to have a ridiculously ostentatious use of his power, I've no doubt he'd do that too if it was the best way to achieve his goal.
In short, yours is a far more believable and enjoyable character than the original.
u/sicutumbo [+1] (a day later)
In the Chunin exams, ninja should be displaying their skills even if that specific skill is a suboptimal fighting strategy. This is mitigated when the contestants are actually trying to kill each other, but for example Naruto and Sakura could afford to use flashier moves to show off all the jutsu they know because they mutually know that they aren't trying to kill each other. Like, you could dodge, or you could show your mastery of water techniques by slicing that incoming boulder in half.
u/5FOOT6MUSHROOMHEAD [+3] (12 hours later)
So tsunade is still in leaf but what was the darkness? Genjutsu?
u/kaukamieli [+3] (16 hours later)
I'm pretty sure Tsunade was said to be in town earlier. Following multiple stories though, so not sure if I have it all straight.
u/Sophronius [+4] The Need to Become Stronger (19 hours later)
There's been a dozen references to Tsunade being in town and yet everyone keeps mentioning this, so it's probably a common issue :p
Same for the darkness technique, by the way: I had intended for that to be this big mystery that would keep the audience guessing as to how it worked and what it meant for the identity of the Enemy, and yet every time it shows up people respond like they've never seen it before. It's been used in the Prologue, Sasuke vs Haku, when Zabuza gets resqued, by Itachi vs the Mizukage, and now again by Sasuke - and that's not counting all the other times it was discussed or hinted at!
The lesson I take away from this is that when it comes to writing serials/fanfiction, I should always take the time to remind the audience of what happened by having the characters briefly reflect on it.
u/crivtox [+1] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (a day later)
Though you shouldn't that to the point that reading the whole thing becomes repetitive, there is a balance between the story being better as a serial and it being better once finished.