8.1 KiB
How would /r/rational eat the world's biggest bowl of hummus?
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Author: u/LazarusRises *
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/8e2iqp/how_would_rrational_eat_the_worlds_biggest_bowl/
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Score: 1
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Created: 2018-04-22T10:45:48
Post:
[removed]
Comments:
u/varno2 [+6] (30 minutes later)
So according to news articles it is 10 metric tones of hommus. So you would need between 20k and 50k people in order to eat it. Lets assume 20k people each eating 500g of hommus each. They need 15min to eat the hommus, so we have 45 min to distribute hommus to these people. If you have a person serving hommus from a tub they can portion about one portion per 2 seconds and then 5 people can distribute this hommus and to queues. Thus in 20 min each portioner can portion for 600 people, using 300kg of hommus, this is about 6 wheelbarrows full or one car trailer. We need 67 such lines. To fill a trailer takes about two minuites with a back hoe or a vacuum so you need about 7 of them working in order to fill all the trailers. Plus 5 minutes es to drive to distribution centers So in total you need:
- 7 back hoes or high speed vacuum hoses.
- 70 car trailers lined with plastic.
- 70 servers and 350 waiters.
- 20k people each able to eat 500g of hommus in 15 min.
- A crap ton of tables and plastic serving ware.
Edit:10 tones was the 2010 record this 2015 one was 15 tones so multiply all numbers by 1.5 giving
- 12 back hoes or pipes,
- 115 queues and
- 30k people.
Edit: formatting and spelling
u/LazarusRises [+2] (35 minutes later)
Good answer! But think of the environment, each person really only needs one big spoon, and those can be metal ;)
u/None [+1] (an hour later)
Spoons are inefficient. They shall eat with their hands!
u/varno2 [+1] (an hour later)
People must bring their own bowl and cutlery.
u/lars_uf3 [+5] (21 minutes later)
If i knew what hummus was and liked it:
- Pretend to "accept" the challenge and start eating
- After Im full, "give up" and leave
- PROFIT
u/LazarusRises [+5] (23 minutes later)
Dude hummus is great! It's chickpea paste, like peanut butter but with a subtler flavor. Dunno where you live, but if it's not in stores, you can make it by blending canned chickpeas, tahini, lemon and garlic if you like. Eat with raw veggies or pita bread or crackers, put it on a sandwich, have a shawarma plate, the possibilities are endless.
For the sake of the riddle, let's say the Hummus Maker has made a believable existential threat that will be nullified upon completion of the Great Bowl.
u/lars_uf3 [+1] (25 minutes later)
I live under a rock, apparently. What are chickpeas?
u/LazarusRises [+4] (27 minutes later)
You might know them as garbanzos or garbanzo beans! You're one of today's lucky 10,000 :)
u/Noumero [+4] Self-Appointed Court Statistician (44 minutes later)
Ah... dissolving it in artificial stomach acid and quickly putting the result through a human corpse's digestive tract (with a mechanical pump), would that count? What if it's only a human soon-to-be-corpse? (A terminally ill patient who volunteered or something, if you want to let petty morals stand in the way of senseless munchkinry.)
What about animals? Could we force-feed it to a whale, say?
I suppose setting the corpse-machine up or finding a whale and bribing its owners to let you kill it would take quite some time, but I'm rather doubtful you would be able to organize or even collect a thousand people and put the hummus from that bowl in separate bowls and teach the people optimal eating and figure out where to put them in one hour either. It has to mean "one hour starting from the moment the first bit of hummus is eaten, ending with the moment the last bit of hummus is eaten", not "one hour since you accepted the challenge".
In which case, researching genetic engineering and nanotechnology to create an artificial human with a house-sized external stomach and nanomachine-assisted mouth would probably be a better way to win. 50 years on preparations, a few seconds on the eating.
Actually wait a moment, why are we even doing this? There's no mention of a reward for that. You tricked us!
u/LazarusRises [+2] (53 minutes later)
Hummus Maker says all hummus must be contained within living homo sapiens when the time is up. You have to complete the task within a year or you lose. Time starts at the first scoop of hummus.
If you win, not only is Earth spared, but everyone involved gets a lifetime supply of Hummus Maker (tm) Hummus!
u/Noumero [+2] Self-Appointed Court Statistician (an hour later)
Hummus Maker says all hummus must be contained within living homo sapiens after 1 hour.
Hmph. Partially skinning people, putting the hummus on the inside of their skins, then stitching the skin back on would technically work, I think. If it also needs to be "consumed", put it through the corpse-machine as outlined above first. I'm sure the consent is a non-issue; there's a plenitude of contract tricks that cold be used to make people agree to that, and plenty of potential incentives to give them.
It has to be much faster than eating the hummus.
^(I wonder who would blink first, me or the Hummus Maker? What degree of atrocity would I need to suggest, in order to make it leave in horrified disgust? How precisely would it need to define the rules, before I give up and admit defeat? Remain to be seen.)
u/everything-narrative [+2] Coral, Abide with Rubicon! (43 minutes later)
Pigs are pretty smart; let's say they count as people.
Let's commit a crime against humanity and stuff our newly defined people into a CAFO farm.
10 tons of liquid fodder is easily distributed to, and subsequently consumed by, about 2000 hogs in a modern CAFO farm, in under an hour.
u/LazarusRises [+1] (51 minutes later)
Hummus Maker says they must be homo sapiens who willingly engage in hummus consumption.
u/everything-narrative [+4] Coral, Abide with Rubicon! (an hour later)
Speciesism rears its ugly head.
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (an hour later)
Given how much I like the thing, I would like to answer "just provide me with a proportionate amount of pittas and let me at it", but I agree, that may be a bit too much for my digestive apparatus.
u/rationalidurr [+2] If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! (an hour later)
Ok i need large amounts of people, burnable/ strong enough oven and several large fans.
People strip down to underwear ideally naked for maximum skin coverage, burn humus on oven/fire, use fans to spread smoke over people who absorb via breathing and or skin.
Violin!
u/Sailor_Vulcan [+1] Champion of Justice and Reason (an hour later)
u/None [+1] (49 minutes later)
Well, depends what the Hummus Maker calls eating. It can't be needed to be processed by the body. (sorry missing vocabulary) Since that would take longer than an hour.
There are some really cruel and disgusting ways to do that with a lower number of persons. Just take one skull and a funnel. And every other thing the Hummus Maker requires. (I hope it is not needed to be alive to count as eating.) If 10 metric ton is correct you would need to 'feed' 166kg per minute. So maybe use 5-10 skulls. Or a bigger skull.
So I hope I don't need to add stomaches or any other disgusting details. If I have o, maybe the existential threat is to be preferred.
u/LazarusRises [+2] (54 minutes later)
See above; Hummus Maker requires all hummus to be willingly consumed by homo sapiens, and must all remain within living homo sapiens at the end of the hour.
u/None [+1] (an hour later)
that can get cruel, I don't want to think about that. I'm out. Use 10000 people (1kg hummus for everyone) and don't think about implanting more stomachs.