5.0 KiB
[RT][WIP] Delphic - Book 1 Epilogue and Book 2 Prologue
-
Author: u/None *
-
Score: 21
-
Created: 2018-05-07T08:42:20
Post:
Comments:
u/HPMOR_fan [+5] (2 hours later)
Two excellent chapters. Very entertaining and satisfying. Feels like several momentous events occurred.
I've been enjoying your story for a while. This is the first I've commented. One thing that hit me as a bit strange was how "easily" Delphic resolved the NSA threat. Everything worked out so perfectly for him in just a few chapters. I'm always happy to see things go well for the protagonist and I like when the plot moves along quickly, but it had a bit of too-good-to-be-true feeling to it.
Please keep it up!
u/notagiantdolphin [+4] (4 hours later)
Paris' partner knows that Hector is a hacker instead of just a techie. Which suggests that if it isn't her father partially outing him, the threat of the Iron Lantern remains over Hector's head even if it only sees him as secondary.
u/HPMOR_fan [+3] (5 hours later)
Hector isn't safe, but he's taking steps to protect himself. I'd be surprised if someone related to Iron Lantern had informed the local police department about Hector. But maybe something related to the long term surveillance the CIA(?) had on him.
u/notagiantdolphin [+3] (6 hours later)
That's what I'm thinking of. A few parts of Hector's life were influenced by the CIA seed operatives, so a leftover might make another play for Delphic. Or just Hector as part of Delphic. Or twitching remnant parts of the Lantern operation.
But it's probably just his dad covering for Paris. "Stealing case files? Oh. Uh. Want to know why she's so good at clearing? Oh, uh, my son is secretly a hacker, never been caught, helps her. That's all. He's good, I swear it."
u/JanusTheDoorman [+5] (8 hours later)
Man, I'm really liking where this is headed in terms of genre and story tone. I'm a sucker for both mad scientist driven pulp adventure and private detective skulkery. With a techno-marvel car to boot.
One bit of subtle world building - Velo has a flip phone. I can't think of anything in particular that would have impeded the advent of candy bar smartphones, especially since drones, the NSX, and Delphic being able to live and operate on the internet are taken for granted by everyone. Could be that Velo just has a particular preference for flip phones, or he decided to buy a burner for calling the illicit power enhancing agency.
Or, you're getting reeeeeaaaal deep here, and the presence of the flip phone along with the NSX taking months to order (when in reality I think they sold literally 5 last month) is meant to imply something about the overall structure and national competitiveness of different nation's technology sectors following the alternate ending of WW2 you've previously outlined. After all, it's a bit weird for a Detroit resident to be lusting after a Japanese super car. One would probably expect a ZR1/Viper/Ford GT or something else domestic.
u/CommonMisspellingBot [-2] (8 hours later)
Hey, JanusTheDoorman, just a quick heads-up:
wierd is actually spelled weird. You can remember it by e before i.
Have a nice day!^^^^The ^^^^parent ^^^^commenter ^^^^can ^^^^reply ^^^^with ^^^^'delete' ^^^^to ^^^^delete ^^^^this ^^^^comment.
u/JanusTheDoorman [+2] (9 hours later)
delete
u/None [+3] (9 hours later)
From a couple of earlier requests, I've taken the time to set up a Patreon account.
Please do let me know if any aspect of it is impolitic. I'm not very plugged into artistic patronage, other than subscribing to my own favorite web serials.
u/sparr [+2] (a day later)
Thank you for clearing up my concern from back in the early chapters :)
u/None [+2] (a day later)
Good chapter. Liked that bit at the end with the coverup.
u/MultipartiteMind [+2] (4 days later)
*(figuratively) rolling on the floor laughing* Delphic! Of all people, Delphic is using the excuse that using the Internet leaves damning records! Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! If they could hear him, the people who've been fruitlessly trying to find a GIANT HUMAN-LEVEL INTELLIGENCE hidden in the Internet for as many years as he'd been public would want to throttle him!
"Oh gods! He lifts all our most top-secret information straight from our systems without leaving the slightest trace that he was ever in them! And now he's telling us he can't do anything discreetly because it leaves damning records! Ahhh!"
I am sleepy. I am very sleepy now. I am also happy! And happy to read these Delphic things!
*finishes reading* I'm very curious regarding whether the woken individual has memory loss, and if not then where the data was stored.