45 KiB
[RST] Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Ch. 56 - At Sea
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/56/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 112
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Created: 2018-06-01T10:17:28
Post:
Comments:
u/GaiusCoffee [+55] (40 minutes later)
Sir... this is a boat.
:D
u/Cariyaga [+23] Kyubey did nothing wrong (an hour later)
Right? I could just feel the indignation.
u/xamueljones [+14] My arch-enemy is entropy (5 hours later)
Indignation? I was reading it as pants-wetting fear at what the two crazy teenagers were thinking and that he was stuck on a boat for a week with them.
u/Croktopus [+16] (6 hours later)
i read it more as frustration at how dense these kids are
u/PDNeznor [+5] (16 hours later)
Soooo, water battles only in the pool then?
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+3] (2 days later)
I think it was a perfect balance of fear, frustration, and indignation
u/chaos-engine [+9] (14 hours later)
Should have been 'sir, this is a ship'
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+2] (a day later)
I like you
u/JulianWyvern [+4] Wayward Wanderer (a day later)
I was surprised at "Small Pokémon, only at the pool area" though. I mean, Pokémon are pets. Even that giant fire-breathing dragon is gonna snuggle up to its trainer given the chance.
u/PDNeznor [+3] (2 days later)
Also gonna poop a fiery mess in the hallways if they're not careful. Best contain it to where it'll do the least damage, clean up wise.
u/None [+6] (an hour later)
u/nicholaslaux [+46] (3 hours later)
The true origin of species was the friends we made along the way.
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+4] (a day later)
Sir, you get an upvote
u/Lemerney2 [+32] (3 hours later)
Shipppppppp. I’m sorry. I can’t resist.
u/DerSaidin [+21] (5 hours later)
Author shipped 'ship on a ship.
u/DCarrier [+12] (12 hours later)
The current biweekly challenge is shipping. Maybe he should post this chapter there.
u/chaos-engine [+12] (14 hours later)
"Sir, this is a ship"
u/Croktopus [+27] (an hour later)
Ah. So, puberty rears its ugly head.
u/akaltyn [+29] (7 hours later)
Felt like a pretty accurate depiction of what a crush at that age is like. A strange kind of obsession that creeps up on you, but without the specific content it would have for an adult
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+9] (a day later)
the specific content it would have for an adult
I'm borrowing this 10/10 euphemism
u/nicholaslaux [+23] (3 hours later)
Actual prediction regarding the multiple psychics per group - each R&D team hires at least one psychic to detect intrusion from other teams as a psychic equivalent to an NDA to foster the ability to collaborate. Each group of two or more is a group of that many different teams working together, without having to worry about it their patents or other ideas are being leaked.
u/akaltyn [+23] (7 hours later)
I suspect that Red is going to get another reminder, like with Sabrina, that there are players in this world who don't fuck around.
u/Lipat97 [+16] (5 hours later)
Or they were all specifically invited for something to do with Mewtwo. It could also be that closet psychics are more likely to succeed because they use their powers to get to the top. But yeah yours seems the most plausible.
u/ManyCookies [+7] (14 hours later)
But Red only noticed the minds on Day 2, if they were protection psychics they'd be around on Day 1. And if they weren't coordinated they wouldn't be in symmetrical positions.
u/nicholaslaux [+10] (14 hours later)
Only noticing on day 2 seems like he could have just missed it on the first day.
As for the symmetry, I'm not really sure what that implies. It could be something to do positioning how psychics can shield others' minds, and if everyone has a psychic in their group, then they'll be clustered similarly?
u/ManyCookies [+4] (14 hours later)
Oh Red was specifically pushing his mental senses out when he first noticed, that's plausible then.
u/Electric999999 [+3] (2 days later)
There's no indication that anyone knew boarded the ship at any point, so they must have been there from the start. Red just didn't notice them because he wasn't using his psychic abilities.
u/noimnotgreedy [+21] (5 hours later)
Instead of her normal travel clothes, she's dressed in an elegant black dress that leaves her tanned arms knees bare, and her hair falls in a straight and shining wave to her upper back.
...
"It looks so big, from this angle," Leaf says, voice quiet.
I know exactly where this chapter is heading.. and that escalated quickly. "Fun, peaceful cruise" indeed.
u/KnickersInAKnit [+18] (8 hours later)
Okay that Leaf quote out of context with all the discussion about taking the fic in a lemony direction had me in tears.
u/TheKingleMingle [+15] (a day later)
"Lemony" being a word that here does not mean in the style of a popular children's author
u/The_Magus_199 [+18] Ankh-Morpork City Watch (11 hours later)
I got this feeling at like three AM while watching Netflix~
Okay but more seriously, great chapter. It’s really nice to get back to Red and Leaf after a pretty long time with just Blue’s group, Red meeting president Silph was pretty cool, Red’s caught the preparations for the attack on the S.S. Anne but doesn’t realize it yet, and... um...
...Oh, who am I kidding. As awesome as this chapter is, too much of my processing power is taken up by an infinitely-looping squeal at the cuteness of Red’s crush for me to make any sort of rational commentary. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be listening to I Ship It for a month.
u/CopperZirconium [+16] (14 hours later)
I loved the Game Freak reference. Pokemon games on both sides of the fourth wall!
u/PDNeznor [+4] (a day later)
Also the pokemon amie and holocaster cameos! Looks like somebody just finished a replay of x/y. Man, I hope Game Freak gets those AR helmets out soon so somebody gets a scouter level reference in.
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
No replay needed, I've been thinking about these things since I first played them years ago :P It's just a convenient place in the story to have them brought up as works-in-progress, for whenever the X and Y stories take place in relation to Gen 1.
u/Grasmel [+13] (7 hours later)
Now I'm really conflicted. The obvious thing for Reds personal growth and career ambitions would be to stop being a trainer, yes. I thought as much back when he talked with Sabrina. On the other hand, that would be crap for the story. Splitting the party temporarily is one thing, but a permanent split wouldn't make sense.
Here's my prediction: Red will decide to stay with the group for a while longer, a few months or so. He will justify it to himself by saying "a few months won't make a big difference over the span of my life" and because he doesn't want to leave his friends. It will also be because of his crush, but he won't admit that to himself.
u/u__v [+19] (11 hours later)
I honestly think a 6 to 18 month separation for the group would be pretty good for where the story is right now. Blue is coming down off a harrowing encounter that cost him his strongest Pokemon, and nearly got them all killed. At the same time, he seems to be responding really well to the environment of Vermilion Gym, and so I can really easily see him just throwing himself into that fully for a while, especially when the next gym is Erika. After the boat stuff, there's definitely enough weird stuff going on to potentially keep Leaf busy piecing together loose threads, and that could easily lead her to branch off into Red's mom's story line to actually progress the plot. Meanwhile, Red can take some levels in Wiz, flesh out the Mewtwo storyline a little with Sabrina, and maybe publish a paper or two.
Plus, there's all sorts of stuff that naturally would bring the party back together in the near-ish future. Blue is definitely going to want to train his Abra for Erika and Koga, and will probably need Red's help. Leaf would probably be the one who first stumbles upon the whole Lavender town mess, and will probably want some reinforcements to help save Mr. Fuji, which just snowballs into invading Silph co, the radio tower, and then the Rocket lair.
u/Kizadek [+17] (11 hours later)
Yep, I am totally comfortable with this as well. Even some time skip would be well received.
u/InfernoVulpix [+14] (a day later)
Given the indication that Red's going to ask his mom about Silph (and we all know the mess involved with that), I feel like the story's nearing a tipping point, the start of Act 2 if you will.
Red's got a once in a lifetime opportunity to get just about the best psychic training possible, Blue's gathering a following and exercising his leadership skills independent of the group. Leaf has the foundations laid and basic lessons learned to start pursuing stories on her own and earning acclaim as a journalist.
I figure that these competing pressures will soon come to a head and have the group split up temporarily - a few months, maybe a year or two - before they reunite in Act 3 once whatever Team Rocket's doing comes into full force and the heroes need to save the day.
u/Electric999999 [+10] (8 hours later)
Well he has one goal that requires him to be a trainer, fighting the legendary birds.
u/Silver_Swift [+5] (10 hours later)
He's also like twelve, right? It's not a terrible idea to stick around and have fun with his friends for a bit before he surrounds himself with psychics (who, as has been established, don't have the best interpersonal skills) 24/7.
u/ketura [+20] Organizer (17 hours later)
I dunno. If the psychic Stephen Hawking told me I had a time-limited offer to study directly under her, I might have to consider that such opportunities don't roll around every day.
u/The_Magus_199 [+8] Ankh-Morpork City Watch (11 hours later)
Yeah, like, I’d say that even if just for a well-rounded growth slash “put on your own oxygen mask first” standpoint, taking the time to be with his friends and grow up is a tangible benefit that Red really shouldn’t feel guilty about considering with the weight it deserves.
u/None [+9] (a day later)
[deleted]
u/akaltyn [+6] (a day later)
I suspect Oak and his Mom would also be kinda worried about Sabrina having so much influence on him at a formative age
u/TheGreatTactician [+5] (11 hours later)
Honestly I see this dilemma as a non-issue. Red should just continue journeying with his friends until Blue and Aiko finish off collecting their gym badges. That would only take a year or two max with their skill levels, I imagine. Meanwhile, he can continue growing his talents for training and catching new Pokémon to help him with his research, as well as working on his psychic abilities himself and chipping away at new research work.
It honestly seems like Red is acting like he has less time than he actually does when realistically, unless he meets an untimely end, he has plenty of time.
u/Silver_Swift [+16] (20 hours later)
The only problem with that is that Sabrina's offer might not be valid any more in a year or two.
I agree that finishing his journey first is the correct decision, but he is giving something up to do it.
u/tokol [+3] The Greater Good (3 days later)
Planning for the future is well and good, but I think we're all about to learn a more important lesson: opportunities happen before you're "ready" for them.
My guess is that Red's current emotional conflict will be resolved when the plot swoops in and forces Leaf and him to save the ship (for some unknown value of "save"). Additionally, just to make the choice for Red more clear, I wouldn't be surprised if Sabrina ends up implicated (we do know she is working for Giovanni).
u/WalterTFD [+11] (3 hours later)
It's funny to think of humans attempting to survive in this world before they could catch Pokemon. Truly, the past is a foreign country.
u/vallar57 [+4] Unseen University: Faculty of High-Energy Magic (a day later)
They probably could tame them, the old-fasioned way.
u/Neverwant [+12] (3 hours later)
Random thought, does this chapter not qualify for the current subreddit challenge of shipping? In more than one way. :D. Great chapter as always!
u/Saffrin-chan [+11] (8 hours later)
Wow I hope all the residences are on one floor, you can tell Red and Leaf don't spend much time in hotels! Running and jumping on the floor AND hitting the ceiling?? I hope no one's room was below them lol
u/DaystarEld [+14] Pokémon Professor (8 hours later)
Oh rest assured, Paul's going to be back :P
u/akaltyn [+10] (a day later)
Paul: We have reports of two unaccompanied teenagers in a room together making a lot of noise.... Pokemon training?
u/DaystarEld [+15] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
"OKAY THIS IS JUST UNACCEPTAB-Oh... Okay it's still unacceptable, but for different reasons."
u/Pious_Mage [+5] (a day later)
Unrelated but could I get a link to your patreon?
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Sure, thanks!
u/Pious_Mage [+7] (a day later)
Done :)
u/Silver_Swift [+12] (2 hours later)
Man, that was a lot less disastrous than I thought it would be, given how the last chapter ended.
u/DaystarEld [+31] Pokémon Professor (9 hours later)
I considered posting a chapter consisting entirely of the following instead, for at least a few hours:
Red and Leaf lie on the SS Anne sundeck, sipping drinks. The sun is warm, and the waves make a soothing refrain all around them. Red turns to Leaf and says, "What a fun cruise."
"Yeah. Peaceful, too."
"Yep."
u/Silver_Swift [+9] (9 hours later)
Ah, you should have totally done that, that would have been brilliant :D
u/The_Magus_199 [+7] Ankh-Morpork City Watch (11 hours later)
Pshhhhhaw. Nothing is as disastrous as the onset of the First Great Origin of Species Shipping War!
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+9] (a day later)
Oh boy, here we go. I was feeling down since I'm on my final exams, but this is already making me feel better. Well, better start already. I will be writing down my first impressions, later I will make a more organised comment.
So, leaf is looking beatiful. My inner reaf fanboy is screaming already. Is that dress a reference to manga blue? Anyway, Red is totally me here. Not that Aiko doesn't have waifu potential tho.
The boat sounds great. Will we have some "having a nice time" scenes? I hope so. When I like the characters, those are always my favourite parts.
Sir, this is a FREAKING BOAT. We can not allow DEATH MONSTERS
poor stafman, I'm having a lot of fun imagining this scene
It's a date
STOP TEASING MY INNER FANBOY
Nothing like what he’s feeling
I should learn to shut up
She takes it with a grin, and his pulse kicks up
JUST... breathe
right now he’s absurdly happy that the coming week will just be him and Leaf.
Yes
what we’ve been dreaming of: peace of mind.
Now I wonder how living in this world feels like. Even if we can die by chance just if a driver messes up, you don't think about it. There, people know that at any moment a rampage can happen. You are never safe. I don't know if everybody lives with fear, but there is probably a generalized subsconcious alert state.
Heads Up Display
TIL what HUD means. Neat
It’s a live calculation
You are telling me that you also adapted THAT into the story, and that it makes sense. Been a rational fic, I bow my hat
Psychic power found to correlate with amount of gut bacteria?!
Oh, sweet references to real life journalism. I need to get my videogame journalist friend into reading this, he would love it. Sadly, he has so few free time...
we’ll have a decent amount of space to run laps in…
How big is that room???
Viridian Fire
Random thought, if we were to adapt this to the Spanish audiencie, it would literaly translate as the "green fire". Sounds silly tbh
and form a new region
Orange Archipelago or sevii islands reference?
The frontiers around it have been slowly expanding
So pokemon force civilization to not expand completely. I like this concept, makes the world mysterious
Thundurus hit one of the cities
I would love an interlude about something like this. Yo have already shown you are able to make regular rampaging pokemon to be terrifying, this would be breathtaking nightmare fuel
in his grandparents’ days
And know I want an interlude of this. I would love to see your approach to that kind of world
His hand hovers over the wine, curious, but then he grabs some juice
So my fanboy mind. Just needs to switch this. To create the fanfanfic
I’m trying to be realistic!
I'm identifying myself so much with Red in this conversation. I don't want animals to suffer, but I don't care that much to stop eating. ...wait, I am feeling a lot like Red in general. Does that make me guilty when I root for the reaf ship?
Yay!” She wraps an arm around him and hugs him, causing heat to flush through his body and up his face. “You know it’s not actually grown in pokeballs, though, right? It’s just using the same tech.” “Ah. Makes sense,” he mutters as she releases him, quickly raising his bottle for another drink.
They are just too cute together
The warmth stays with him for the rest of the night.
pauses reading so he can enjoy the peace of the moment Thank you daystar
No, seven… nine… twelve… in all directions…
What. Oh wait, other readers are waiting for plot to happen. Here it comes, I assume. Not that I'm not getting excited too
pidgey nuggets
Concept makes perfect sense, still sounds funny
and not because he doesn’t know anyone here and would feel awkward sitting beside them
So Red is not totally me. I would admit it shamelessly
the president, founder, and CEO of Silph Corporation holy shit
HOLY SHIT INDEED
It… tastes like pidgey
Proof of The Matrix existence
price of food will soon get much lower
Talking about that, how does energy to mass conversion work here? IRL it would be WAY more expensive to produce the required amounts to meet the em2 equation
I'm really liking Mr. Silph
Well, that’s it, then. He’ll tell Sabrina that he’ll become her student.
Waiting here for the "that would mean not seen leaf" moment. Personally, I think a strong personal relationship can be the most valuable factor
That’s not all I’d be giving up.
Called it
Well, look how late it is here. I guess I will have to leave my extensive comment for another day. As always an amazing read, really enjoyed it. I hope we reaf fans get more love like this, and red makes the right choice.
Btw, I'm begining to think that I should make a list of questions I want to ask you, I keep thinking more and forgetting them. Here is the newer one: how do you deal with special berries, like the ones that help you resist a specific attack type? Are there any legends about power granting berries, like the liechi berry tree at Mirage Island?
u/DaystarEld [+9] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Glad I could improve your mood a bit :) Reading your comment was fun for me too!
Special berries exist in some forms, but many of them don't function the same way as in the games, since they're so tied to specific and arbitrary game mechanics. But one berry has already been mentioned as something Red fed his Pichu to make his electricity less risky to train with, so things like that are generally what I have in mind.
u/Silver_Swift [+3] (3 days later)
Random thought, if we were to adapt this to the Spanish audiencie, it would literaly translate as the "green fire".
It already means that in English too, viridian is just a fancy word for green. Honestly, I think Viridian Forest is kind of a silly name to begin with, but then again, most pokemon city names are like that (I think all generation I names are colours).
u/nipplelightpride [+5] (3 days later)
Of course they're all colors, they're the ones on the artist's Palette
u/Sailor_Vulcan [+2] Champion of Justice and Reason (5 days later)
You do realize that Leaf is like eleven right? I know it can be easy to forget sometimes, what with her having the mental maturity of someone at least five or six years older than her in our world due to cultural and evolutionary pressures in the Pokemon world, but PHYSICALLY she's still a preteen! Same thing with Aiko. What do you mean she's your waifu?
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+1] (5 days later)
having the mental maturity of someone at least five or six years older
That is the thing. I don't feel atractted to her body (or well, my mental imagen of her childish body), but her personality screams "waifu" to me. Does that have moral implications, or is that just an inofensive consequence of the cultural gap? Hell if I know
u/MaddoScientisto [+10] (2 hours later)
Funny how the chapter popped up right as I was reading about pokemon gold.
Also the disaster at the end of the chapter wasn't the right kind of disaster I was expecting
u/daydev [+8] (6 hours later)
discover origin of species
Roll credits? A fitting chapter for the joke, I think, as it kinda conveys that melancholy/longing/loss you feel when a book or an arc ends even though it's not really applicable here, the end in nowhere near (?) and the upcoming change in circumstances is not that fundamental, we've been going in and out of separated POVs for a long time now.
u/None [+6] (a day later)
Instead of her normal travel clothes, she's dressed in an elegant black dress that leaves her tanned arms knees bare, and her hair falls in a straight and shining wave to her upper back.
Reminded me of that "Hermione ... you're a girl!" scene in HPGoF.
u/Aretii [+13] Cultist of Cthugha (3 hours later)
red's got a cruuuuuuuuuuush
all right, who wants to bet about when this fic is gonna get a lemon tag?
u/DaystarEld [+27] Pokémon Professor (5 hours later)
looks up lemon tag
Yeah, I'mma go ahead and spoil that one: not happening :P
u/Aretii [+10] Cultist of Cthugha (6 hours later)
excuse me, i'm just gonna be over here in the corner crying old-man-of-fandom tears.
(about the fact that you had to look it up. not about the other thing.)
u/notsureiflying [+7] (6 hours later)
What's a lemon tag?
u/Aretii [+27] Cultist of Cthugha (7 hours later)
Oh boy.
Back in the Grand Old Days of fandom on Yahoo Groups, livejournal, private archives, and finally Fanfiction.net, in the late 90s and early 2000s, the term "lemon" was used to describe a fanfic with explicit sexual content, because for whatever reason people were allergic to saying "explicit sexual content," "porn," or similar things. This was mostly a thing in the anime fandom communities, though it spread by cultural diffusion into others.
The fact that people no longer know what I'm talking about when I refer to it 1) makes me glad that fandom has grown up enough to use real words 2) makes me feel like an Old Man of the Internet.
u/nipplelightpride [+2] (5 days later)
Holy shit, is that why it's called lemon party?
u/Aretii [+4] Cultist of Cthugha (5 days later)
Probably not.
u/TheGreatTactician [+3] (10 hours later)
Bro they're actual kids. Come on man.
u/DaystarEld [+10] Pokémon Professor (12 hours later)
I mean, it's old enough for Stephen King's books. Sadly I'm no Stephen King... but in this case, my admiration has boundaries, even if it might have worked okay for IT.
u/akaltyn [+2] (a day later)
Chaste kiss and fade to black?
u/DaystarEld [+11] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I'm not against the idea of young characters exploring their sexuality in fiction, but these characters are still too young, to me; I'd feel uncomfortable even implying it. At 15 or 16, sure, I think a "fade to black" would be okay.
u/Aretii [+7] Cultist of Cthugha (10 hours later)
note to self: add /s next time.
u/DaystarEld [+6] Pokémon Professor (12 seconds later)
Typo thread! Much thanks in advance!
u/Croktopus [+8] (38 minutes later)
it would be a waste to never try and publish what he.
incomplete sentence? "finds" for last word?
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Yep, meant to be finds :) Fixed now!
u/ZeroProtagonist [+4] (3 hours later)
"Interviews!" Leaf puts her notebook on the table nd starts to eat.
"Are they ever in groups just just psychics, though?"
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Fixed!
u/ZeroProtagonist [+2] (6 days later)
Now it says: "Are they ever in groups just psychics, though?"
I believe an of should go between groups and psychics.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
Not a nitpick at all, that was just a straight up typo XD Kinda sad that I went there specifically to fix a typo and didn't even notice I'd made a new one.
Thanks again!
u/xibfeii [+5] (3 hours later)
Great story, as ever!
+++
awhile -> a while
presentor -> presenter
Imagine what the the analysis of
viser -> visor
He makes an effort to look cheerful as he start eating again
+++
I think some of the commas are unnecessary and some words should be hyphenated (i.e. five-minute, mass-produced, higher-level, self-growth) but that is a more personal preference.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Glad you enjoyed it! And fixed, thanks!
u/KnickersInAKnit [+6] (5 hours later)
tanned arms knees bare
missing an 'and'
straight and shining wave to her upper back
I feel like this is an oxymoron
in how they're all coming out at once
Missing a closing "
viser
visor?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Fixed!
u/Neverwant [+3] (3 hours later)
Not sure if it was intended but when you listed the three roles along with each of their aspects, for researcher you underlined “change” right after the “origin of species/”.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/snelltrail [+3] (3 hours later)
Accidental “for” in this sentence: “fitness center for that they can see a single person...”
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Got it, thank you!
u/CarVac [+3] (4 hours later)
"coming out at once" needs a closing quote.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/thrawnca [+3] Carbon-based biped (15 hours later)
the thin material...make him feel/the thin material...makes him feel
while he can: internet signal/while he can; internet signal
- are a trend/is a trend
within the first hour/; within the first hour
It's a good point:/It's a good point;
none others have/no others have (AFAIK this grammar is valid but archaic)
eyes him uncertainty/eyes him uncertainly
pretty interesting too:/pretty interesting too;
sound of wings come/sound of wings comes
throws: quickly, accurately/throws - quickly, accurately
- toward the arm: some/toward the arm, some
it releases an oddish/; it releases an oddish
it's a live calculation/; it's a live calculation
estimation of how much damage every attack/estimation of damage for every attack
to already typing/to already be typing
useless: it's like/useless; it's like
created: whether they're/created; whether they're
amount of them these things/amount of these things
a problem: he sees comments/a problem; he sees comments
and put him on/and puts him on
any new "research"...have been published/any new "research"...has been published
There are, and/There are some, and
that are way over/that is way over
some people seems/some people seem
and after he heads over after/and he heads over after
- a rough sketch the nearest/a rough sketch of the nearest
the mention of his mother/; the mention of his mother
ask to each/ask of each
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
Whew! I think I got them all, thanks a lot! For some reason I seem to have utterly forgotten how to use colon vs semicolon this month :P
u/thrawnca [+2] Carbon-based biped (20 hours later)
Still a couple:
"none others have" - did you decide to keep this?
provide an estimation of damage every attack/provide an estimation of damage for every attack
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (23 hours later)
Thanks, missed the second one! First is style difference.
u/PDNeznor [+2] (16 hours later)
what looks a whole separate room / what looks like a whole separate room steps to the front of stage. / steps to the front of the stage. Imagine what the the analysis / Imagine what the analysis
"and for the first time he experiences sensing minds in three dimensions" sounds off, I'd swap it to "and for the first time he's experiencing sensing minds in three dimensions"
"it’s like putting side-by-side two graphs" consider instead "it’s like putting two graphs side-by-side"
"#" not sure what this is supposed to mean
"Red quickly tries combing his hair, gives up on it as passable, then goes back downstairs with some trepidation." seems like two conflicting thoughts on the hair crisis. Maybe instead try "Red quickly tries combing his hair, but settles for a passable look before going back downstairs with some trepidation."
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (20 hours later)
All fixed, thanks!
u/tokol [+2] The Greater Good (3 days later)
Still seeing this one:
Before Red can check out what looks a whole separate room, the door opens and Leaf pokes her head in.
looks a whole -> looks like a whole
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (3 days later)
Woops, got it now, thanks!
u/tokol [+2] The Greater Good (3 days later)
The main dining hall is packed for the welcome speech, which is itself fairly uninteresting, to Red.
Remove the second comma. (And consider revising if it's still confusing).
As is, the second comma makes it read so that "which is itself fairly uninteresting" is parenthetical. That's fine, except it makes the main part of the sentence read as "The main dining hall is packed for the welcome speech ... to Red".
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (3 days later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/Pious_Mage [+5] (21 hours later)
Absolutely adore seeing Leaf and Red acting as kids. It's adorable and yet seeing them act si rational while kids. Perfect combination.
Amazing Job as always Daystar.
u/akaltyn [+8] (a day later)
seconded. A lot of ratfics are criticised for the young characters not being very realistic, but this seems to be getting a good balance of them being competent but not unrealistically so, and having apropriae emotional reactions
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Glad you enjoyed it!
u/PDNeznor [+6] (a day later)
"Eventually he checks his phone and sees that it’s near noon...so he should probably get up soon. Instead he browses on his phone for a bit..." It seems like even the protag's are not immune to the dreaded phone-by-the-bed-time-sink.
Also "'Oh, yeah. Is Silph going to be presenting something too?' 'No, this year we’re strictly on the hunt.' He smiles." Isn't ominous sounding at all (I bet Silph hired all those psychics and is about to go Team Rocket Executive Proton on this boat isn't he?)
u/DaystarEld [+8] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
It seems like even the protag's are not immune to the dreaded phone-by-the-bed-time-sink.
I mean, I'd like to think that if I lived in the pokemon world I'd spend every day leaping out of bed and ready to train with my pokemon or continue our adventures, but realistically...
u/tjhance [+5] (a day later)
like everybody else, i am unreasonably excited about this ship on a ship
although I have a sad feeling this ship isn't gonna sail... we've been in Leaf's point of view a bunch of times and I can't recall her ever having a feeling like this towards Red. Whereas in Red's point-of-view the hints have been there almost since the beginning.
u/shankarsivarajan [+5] (a day later)
I just realized that I've been reading this every month for three years! Thank you, Damon. I'd like to say every chapter is better than the last, but I have an inordinate fondness for the Mewtwo interlude.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
You're quite welcome! Yeah I'm still a little surprised sometimes when I remember that I've been publishing every month for almost 5 years now :P
Mewtwo interludes are a fan favorite, and a lot of fun to write. I'm excited to get to the part of the story where they show up more often.
u/AKAAkira [+5] (2 days later)
Huh, so that auto-catching-robo-arm thing was probably what you were alluding to in the last thread. Wonder if Bill was involved in this too, if not for the programming then at least for the financing. For that remaining blind spot of underground pokemon, it can probably get the pokemon under its own command to use Earthquake for massive damage - but that's probably too prone to collateral damage to actually be a viable idea, outside of extreme situations. Hm.
The way you ended that chapter was very poetic, how Leaf's own comment on splitting up unknowingly echoed Red's own decision and dilemma. I've come to notice these kinds of things more, where I doubt I would have even five years ago, and I always find myself admiring the way authors can weave what would otherwise be a throwaway line into a higher-level theme so fittingly. Nicely done.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor (4 days later)
Glad you appreciated it! And yes, this was what I was referring to... in part.
u/nipplelightpride [+5] (3 days later)
Oh no, the ship arc. Isn't this where we get the indefinite hiatus?
u/DaystarEld [+7] Pokémon Professor (3 days later)
Aw. Now I'm sad about Game of Champions again.
u/nipplelightpride [+3] (3 days later)
It was a reference to both Berserk and Hunter x Hunter, didn’t realize there was a third case!
Thanks again for creating this story, always brightens my day to read it
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
Ah, I only saw the anime for HxH (the new one)
And man I should really catch up on Berserk... I'm only about 8 years behind >.>
u/None [+4] (3 days later)
I wanted to ask:
The story implies that the native language of Kanto is Japanese.
So why does everyone speak English exclusively?
Older generations are shown as still using some Japanese (Koga "about to lapse completely into Japanese" in that interlude; or Red's dad commanding his Mightyena in Japanese).
The younger generation also seems to know Japanese (Blue's "sakki" and Red understanding his dad when he talked in Japanese).
So why does everyone use English? Plot purposes? It'd be sad if native languages of the regions died out...
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (3 days later)
My not-quite-spelled-out-in-universe explanation is that the latin language and its descendants are based off the shapes of the Unown, which is what it's called instead of English, and once knowledge of them was made worldwide it became the de facto basic language.
u/None [+3] (3 days later)
Thanks!
So how well can Red's generation speak Japanese? Does Unova (or the other regions) have their own native languages?
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (4 days later)
Most regions have their own, yes, though I'm thinking that modern latin languages are more like different dialects than anything. Red's generation knows Japanese as basically a second language, though one acquired at an early age, so fluency and no strong accent.
u/None [+2] (4 days later)
Thanks for the answer!
It's a bit sad to see neglect of native languages in the universe ... this is how entire cultures get lost to time...
Still, great story!
u/None [+6] (45 minutes later)
[deleted]
u/Croktopus [+16] (an hour later)
I think that's next chapter. I'm guessing interpersonal conflict more than pokemon attacks, but...daystar did make a point to mention how lightly equipped everyone was (in terms of pokeballs). even the exhibitions were only with like ratatas and pidgeys...
u/Electric999999 [+9] (8 hours later)
With that many rich and important people I would not be surprised if there was a stronger security presence, just keeping out of sight.
u/akaltyn [+2] (a day later)
Giant gyrados attack from the sea!
u/empocariam [+11] (12 hours later)
Yeah I wonder if this will be more like the Anime's SS Anne with the Rocket attack rather than the game's just-another-dungeon.
If so, I look forward to Red's rationalist interpretation of Mecha-Charstoiseisaur on the talking Pokemon island. ^/s
u/The_Magus_199 [+6] Ankh-Morpork City Watch (17 hours later)
Pffffff
I’ve definitely been expecting it to be a Team Rocket attack on the Anne like in the Anne-ime, but I’ll admit I hadn’t drawn that thought to the logical conclusion. XD
u/akaltyn [+5] (a day later)
If so, I look forward to Red's rationalist interpretation of Mecha-Charstoiseisaur on the talking Pokemon island. /s
Wow, my brain managed to pretty much entirely block out that episode until now
u/None [+6] (17 hours later)
[deleted]
u/PDNeznor [+6] (a day later)
From the way the conversation ended up going, I'd go with e) to recruit Red into his R&D team to spite Laura.
u/empocariam [+6] (19 hours later)
My feeling is that option B is probably the number 1 motivating factor now that you mention it.
u/akaltyn [+3] (a day later)
For a or c he would have mentioned her. All it would have taken would be something subtle like "Oh yes, I think I read an article by your mother as well". I dont think he considers a teenager to be a "player" as much as an extension of his mother
u/noimnotgreedy [+3] (a day later)
By the way, since you mentioned "other projects".. Alolan spinoff confirmed?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Nope, mostly talking about the podcast, Guardian, and non-fiction writings that I'm juggling :)
u/RynnisOne [+2] (a day later)
Man, if only he had a way that he could visit his friends whenever he wanted, a method whereby they could all instantly transport themselves to an agreed-upon meeting location on the weekends and transport themselves back when they were done.
I mean, sure, it might be difficult to acquire the method of transportation, so it would be helpful if that had an expert or two or three or four who could assist them in getting more of said resource.
They can do a timeskip if they want, but any implication that he won't see his friends for months or more is downright silly.
u/DaystarEld [+11] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
Maybe I didn't make this clear enough, but it's not "seeing" them that's the problem: it's not being there with them when they're on their journey, facing challenges, learning together, or helping them face life or death situations.
u/akaltyn [+2] (a day later)
So with all his talk of signalling and incentives is Mr Silph this universe's analogue of Robin Hanson, in the same way Giovanni's blogs are analogous to Eleizer and lesswrong?
u/DaystarEld [+7] Pokémon Professor (a day later)
I'm not explicitly expying rationalist as antagonists, but I do think it's compelling to have rational antagonists that are aware of the sorts of things the protagonists learn too :)
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+4] (2 days later)
Smart villains that have everything under control are the scariest IMO. You feel trapped, like you can do nothing they won't know about
u/Walk_the_Max_Planck [+2] (4 days later)
Not exactly related to this story, but to a rational interpretation of pokemon in general.
I'm writing a story that isn't exactly a rational fiction, but uses a rational setting (consistent rules, realistic). As part of the this, I've been reworking all the mechanics of the games into something that makes more sense. One thing I'm not sure about is how to do a rational explanation or alternative to pokemon evolution by trading.
I have two ideas at this point.
- In the wild, evolution by trade is actually a result of migration
- Results from moving between different "packs" of that species, like when a male lion leaves the pride it was born into to make or take another.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thank you.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (4 days later)
I like both those ideas, and considered similar things before giving up on the idea altogether as too game-specific. If I tried rationalizing that then what about holding items while being traded? Or evolving with another pokemon in the same party? (It's not like they're actually next to each other when they evolve, one is in its pokeball), or holding your 3DS upside down?
u/crivtox [+2] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (7 days later)
I also planing to write a rational pokemon fic .(well a pokemon mystery dungeon quest inspired by this and mfd more specifically) and have been trying to justify some really gamey bits of canon, but I think I haven't though of trade evolution yet. I think you should just ignore the trading part, and just think of it as an abstraction of more specific evolution mechanics. Maybe metal coat for example just represents the Pokemon eating a lot of metal , or maybe its an item that the Pokemon has to be in contact whith for along time . Kadabra could need the psychic contact of multiple psychic Pokemon and trainers or something like that .
u/wadaboutit [+2] (12 days later)
I do remember that originally the plan for golem and machamp was that they had to be traded with each other a la escavalier, but it got dropped.
Since trades are executed digitally, and both golem and machamp are very rare among trainers in rby, there could be a data corruption concept. note that machoke gains a pair of arms and graveller loses it.
For Alakazam/gengar, I could see an interpretation that mediums and psychics are studying different aspects of the same phenomenon and only by being exposed to both types of trainers can a kadabra or haunter reach its full potential.
u/I_Probably_Think [+2] (6 days later)
Oh oh oh! I don't know if anyone else is going to see this, but... Does Mr. Silph share your strawberry-consumption preferences?
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
As a matter of fact he does :P I was introduced to salted strawberries by someone and enjoyed them quite a lot.
u/I_Probably_Think [+2] (6 days later)
I'm not typically big on strawberries but I'll give it a shot next time :D
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
Hope you enjoy it :)