8.7 KiB
Demiurge Chess, a translation of Bormor
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Author: u/Mashallah1488 *
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URL: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/9d5yha/demiurge_chess_a_translation_of_bormor/
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Score: 54
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Created: 2018-09-05T12:17:44
Post:
Original source: https://bormor.livejournal.com/267598.html
The following is my translation from Russian to English.
Demiurge Mazukta set the board, placed the pieces, and took a die in his hand. "So, let's begin?" "Let's begin!" eagerly agreed demiurge Shambambukli, "throw the die".
Mazukta threw the die and let out a self-satisfied chuckle. "Yes! I play as the whites, and you play as the blacks."
"Aw damn it", replied saddened Shambambukli. "I also want to play as whites."
"Oh really?" Mazukta burst into laughter. "Good must be strong. Here!" He curled his hand into a fist. "You don't even have proper fists. And, after all, the die decided, so play as the world evil."
"Oh well", agreed Shambambukli. "So, those pieces are mine? Thieves, murderers, rapists, and others?"
"Yes, while mine are priests, judges, teachers, doctors, and politicians. Let's begin!"
The demiurges simultaneously leaned over the table and begun thoughtfully moving their pieces.
"Stop!" interjected Mazukta after some time. "How are you playing?"
"What about it?"
"That bastard over here - what is he doing with a grandmother?"
"Helping her cross the road."
"Are you insane? He's a rapist! An awful person."
"And awful people can't help others cross the road?"
"They can't!"
"Why not?"
Mazukta paused to think. "They can't, and that's all there is to it. It's a good deed and you're playing as evil."
"Wait a minute", Shambambukli raised a hand, "if my pieces only commit evil deeds, noone will love them."
"But of course! People are supposed to be afraid of them, not love them!"
"No", Shambambukli shook his head, "I don't agree that way. If noone wants to associate with my pieces, everyone will jump side to whites, and I lose."
"Then why don't I ever lose as evil?" parried Mazukta.
"I don't know, what am I doing wrong?"
"You're doing everything wrong! Your spies prevent wars, bandits steal from the rich and give to the poor, rapists... those only act with love and consent! I, of course, understand that ends justify the means, but not these sort of means!"
"Let's change places then", offered Shambambukli, "if you know everything so well, you can play as blacks and I will play as whites."
"Okay, let's change places, just let me get you up to speed what I've done so far as whites. Look, here's inquisition - it prevents pieces from switching to evil. Here's the holy warrior order, which is tasked with converting blacks to white faith. This here is the education system, designed to destroy any wrong thoughts at the root, so that people can't even think about changing sides. And these are concentration camps, where I send irreparable elements. After all, you can't burn everyone at the stake, right? Anyway, you now go play as whites, and I will be fixing what you ruined so far as blacks."
"Yeah..." Shambambukli swallowed, "there's indeed a lot of fixing to do..."
Comments:
u/Mashallah1488 [+13] (28 minutes later)
If people liked this, I could translate other bormor stories in the future.
u/xamueljones [+12] My arch-enemy is entropy (an hour later)
Yeah, this was great and hysterically funny. Really hammers in the idea that one person's idea of good and evil will be different from another person's.
u/melmonella [+5] Tremble, o ye mighty, for a new age is upon you (2 hours later)
Bormor is generally extremely good.
u/sl236 [+9] (4 hours later)
If people want more, I did a whole bunch here a while back. Also some here
u/None [+2] (4 hours later)
Great! You should post it on the sub for visibility
u/sl236 [+2] (4 hours later)
Well, it's only about a third demiurge ones. The others aren't particularly rational, just fun little vignettes on traditional fairytales.
u/None [+6] (3 hours later)
The Demiurge series is one of the best rational short story series from RuLJ (up there with mytholozhkis about Achiless&Tortoise.
I'll be watching this with great interest
u/lolbifrons [+5] Fifteenth Legion of Terror (13 hours later)
I took the liberty of editing it a bit, as a native English speaker. I hope you don't mind.
There's a bit of dialogue missing because I didn't understand its purpose. It's marked in [bold and brackets].Thanks /u/sl236 for the explanation.Demiurge Mazukta set the board, placed the pieces, and picked up the die. "So, let's begin?"
"Let's begin," Demiurge Shambambukli eagerly agreed. "Throw the die!"
Mazukta looked at his roll and let out a self-satisfied chuckle. "Yes! I play white, and you play black."
"Damn," complained Shambambukli, "I wanted to play white."
"Oh?" Mazukta laughed. "Good needs to be aggressive." He held out a fist. "Can you even throw a punch? Anyway, the die decided, so you're evil."
"Ah well", Shambambukli caved. "So, these pieces are mine? The thieves, murderers, rapists, etc?"
"Yes, and mine are priests, judges, teachers, doctors, and politicians. Let's play!"
In unison, the demiurges leaned over the table and began thoughtfully moving their pieces.
After some time, Mazuka interrupted Shambambukli. "Stop! What are you doing?"
"What's wrong?" Shambambukli replied.
"The bastard you just moved - what is he doing with that grandmother?"
"Helping her cross the road."
"Are you insane? He's a rapist! An awful person."
"And awful people can't help others cross the road?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Why not?"
Mazukta paused to think. "They just can't. It's a good deed and you're playing as evil."
"Wait a minute," Shambambukli said as he raised his hand. "If my pieces only commit evil deeds, no one will like them."
"Of course! People are supposed to fear them, not like them!"
Shambambukli shook his head. "I disagree. If no one can tolerate my pieces, the whole board will switch to white, and I'll lose."
"Then why don't I lose when I play as evil?" Mazukta countered.
"I don't know, what should I be doing?"
"Certainly not what you're doing now! Your spies prevent wars, your bandits steal from the rich and give to the poor, your rapists only act with love and consent! I understand, of course, that the ends justify the means, but not like this!"
"Let's change places then", offered Shambambukli. "If you know how to play black so well, be my guest. I will play white."
Mazukta considered the switch. "Fine, let's change places. Just let me explain what I've done so far."
He pointed at a group of pieces. "Here's the Inquisition - it prevents pieces from defecting. Over here is the Holy Order, which is tasked with converting black pieces to the white faith. This is my education system, designed to rip out dissent at the root, so that people won't even consider changing sides. Finally, here's where I put my prison camps, to contain irreparable elements. After all, white can't just murder them, right?
"Anyway, pick up where I left off, and I will fix the mistakes you made."
"Yeah," Shambambukli swallowed, "there's certainly a lot of fixing to do."
u/Mashallah1488 [+1] (17 hours later)
That bit of dialog is about Mazukta showing off he has bigger and stronger fists than Shambambukli to get across the point that he's stronger overall.
u/sl236 [+2] (18 hours later)
"Добро должно быть с кулакаи. Во!- он сжал пальцы.- А у тебя разве кулаки?"
" 'Good needs to come with fists. Like this!' - he held up a fist. 'Can you even make a fist?'"
It's a little more subtle than just power IMO - he's talking about pacifism.
u/lolbifrons [+2] Fifteenth Legion of Terror (a day later)
Thanks, this helped. Here's what I turned it into:
"Oh?" Mazukta laughed. "Good needs to be aggressive." He held out a fist. "Can you even throw a punch? Anyway, the die decided, so you're evil."
u/None [+1] (19 hours later)
Yep, it's a proverb that good should fight back
u/vallar57 [+2] Unseen University: Faculty of High-Energy Magic (2 days later)
Yay to Bormor, the Unkind Storyteller!
Seriously, his stores are great. Btw, there has already been at least one of those posted here: https://www.reddit.com/r/rational/comments/4t253z/dc_the_parable_of_the_dark_lord/