11 KiB
[WIP] [FF] [RT] The Optimised Wish Project Chapter 12: Job security, chuunibyou and other, a dragon ball fanfic
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Author: u/SimoneNonvelodico Dai-Gurren Brigade*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12863641/12/The-Optimised-Wish-Project
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Score: 49
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Created: 2018-09-09T09:09:05
Post:
Comments:
u/MaddoScientisto [+11] (3 hours later)
This chapter was so much fun, you managed to capture a lot of the early DragonBall funny weirdness.
By the way you accidentally used answer in place of questions at a certain point
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (3 hours later)
LOL, duly noted, thanks! I'll fix it.
u/Hust91 [+8] (2 hours later)
Yisss, time for some of the good stuff!
Edit: The stuff is good.
u/LordSwedish [+7] Q Continuum (12 hours later)
Now I get all the other characters but...why is Puar and Yamcha in an abusive relationship? It's pretty obvious that she sabotaged Yamcha and the whole "everyone hates you, only I love you" stuff is pretty damn far from what the original character was.
I like it, but what made you decide to make such a huge change in the character when most things are either faithful or based on the original premises and made so they fit more logically?
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+7] Dai-Gurren Brigade (23 hours later)
A lot of things really aren't that faithful. Mai isn't this competent in the original, nor is she an ex Red Ribbon soldier in cahoots with a splinter faction with further motives (that I'm sure most have gotten already, but I won't spell out for anyone who hasn't). The four people seen in this chapter - Spike, Bandages, Fangs and See-Through - are genuinely supernatural creatures. Spike in particular is supposedly a demon. It's not necessarily contradictory to see them as humans with weird powers, but they're presented in a way that implies they aren't, and me reducing them as such is a way to make the setting more consistent. As I said at the beginning, I'm following HPMOR's approach to canon of using most of the times but bending it occasionally when it better suits the needs of the story and makes for a more engaging, surprising plot to those who are familiar with the original (such as seen with Rational!Voldemort, of course, who is obviously in contradiction of canon in many ways, but works best as an antagonist to Rational!Harry).
I'll admit that yandere Puar is a weird choice I made. I guess it's mostly me taking a jab at their weird relationship in canon, and going for a bit of a dark joke. They always seemed very attached, to the point of spending their life basically together all the time, which is a bit extreme even for friends and buddies. So I thought of Puar as being the one who's actually pulling the strings here. I also have further plot reasons that I can't disclose here yet.
u/Bowbreaker [+3] Solitary Locust (2 hours later)
Are those four dudes canon characters? When did they appear in the show?
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+8] Dai-Gurren Brigade (3 hours later)
They're the four warriors that the sybil Baba, Muten Roshi's sister, keeps to challenge anyone who wants her services for free. She's the "previous employer". They're seen at the end of the Red Ribbon arc in the original show, Krillin beats the invisible guy, Puar and Upa the vampire, and Goku the other two. The last fighter in that occasion was Son Gohan, Goku's grandpa, brought back to life for one day (Baba has that ability, and used it again in DBZ to bring back Goku for the Tenkaichi in the Buu Saga, and then now Frieza in DB Super for the Tournament of Power).
u/cae_jones [+8] (11 hours later)
In canon, Spike is literally from Hell, possibly retconned to be related to the Oni who live there in some way. I do like the mystery you set up with the whole quartette having nigh identical origin stories, though, since the only other directions that could have gone would have been deciding on the actual Hell connection (maybe he'd turn out to have come from Makai or something), or something connecting Fangs to Chaozu. While I always like things that make Chaozu more interesting, I like the mystery you set up here better.
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+6] Dai-Gurren Brigade (23 hours later)
Yup, I just thought this removed some confusion (also made for a funny and intriguing scenario). In Dragon Ball we have plenty of beings claiming to be "demons" (Spike, Piccolo, Dabura) and all have some different origin. Trying to reconcile all that mythology is... one Hell of a job.
ba-dum-tss
u/erwgv3g34 [+4] (13 hours later)
u/eroticas [+2] (14 hours later)
typo thread
Her present -> his present?
u/SkyTroupe [+2] (a day later)
Excellent chapter as always. I am in love with the way you write the humorous sections of this story. It's just so much like real life yet also incredibly similar to the original Dragonball humor.
Some notes and questions. Since Put noted she and Oolong went to the same transformation school does that mean anyone that can use ki can learn to transform? Hopefully this will lead Bulma and Goku to learning all sorts of things, like flight and his mulitplicity trick.
Secondly, the characters were rated by Goku strengths. I noticed it said base Goku, can you explain how that works? I've reread it twice and it is just not clicking in my brain. Not the how she is measuring them, but exactly what a base Goku is. Is it his default without circulating ki?
Thirdly, will the shenanigans of Sayain biology come into play in this fic? I feel like that's an easy munchkin for Bulma and Goku to abuse.
Lastly, I'm hoping we see more of Pilaf and co.
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+4] Dai-Gurren Brigade (a day later)
Since Put noted she and Oolong went to the same transformation school does that mean anyone that can use ki can learn to transform?
I can't expound too much because this is plot relevant - but no. I mentioned it because this is how it was referred to in canon, but it will be further clarified. No, they're special, and magic and ki, while related things, are still separated. Most people use either one mainly, with possibly a few limited abilities with the other.
I noticed it said base Goku, can you explain how that works? I've reread it twice and it is just not clicking in my brain.
Sorry if that sounds confusing, it just meant she took a measurement for Goku and used it as base. He can't control ki but consider it as "peak power" the way she measured it with the others (so while exerting themselves by punching as hard as possible).
Thirdly, will the shenanigans of Sayain biology come into play in this fic? I feel like that's an easy munchkin for Bulma and Goku to abuse.
Yup! They already have after all - Zenkai power is why Goku is so smart. But one thing I have to warn of, I'm not too inclined to excessive munchkining, and would rather nerf here and there some canon abilities. Otherwise the variables quickly become unmanageable.
Lastly, I'm hoping we see more of Pilaf and co.
We will! Probably in the next arc already.
u/SkyTroupe [+2] (a day later)
Awesome! Thank you for being so responsive on the posts! Keep up the good work!
u/Ulmaxes [+2] (4 days later)
Solid points on the zenkai boosts. It's perfectly consistent with canon for there to be occasional plateaus for their power- at some points in the story, the characters gain immense power very quickly through dedicated training, but other times grow at very slow rates.
Real life is (somewhat) similar- people have natural equilibrium points with fitness/diet that are subtly weird and different for everyone.
Vegeta tried spamming zenkai boosts on Namek, and got some result from it, but given that it seems to scale with how close to straight up death you get, it's an extremely dangerous thing to try to munchkin. He got lucky then, and on the asteroid where he became a Super Saiyan, but obviously stopped after that point due to not wanting to just get himself killed one day.
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (4 days later)
I also had the impression that after going Super Saiyan, the zenkai just isn't that relevant. Maybe the base state from which Super Saiyan becomes accessible is supposed to be a Saiyan's peak performance, so there's no much room to go from there.
u/Ulmaxes [+2] (5 days later)
I think the meta answer is that the chase for the next level of super Saiyan edged it out as a plot point.
I'd never really registered that though, huh. It does peter off doesn't it. That said, their time in the Hypeebola Mime Chamber showed that they could further increase in power without a full ssj1-ssj2 jump. So I think it's still there, just not as abusible and part of 'normal' intense training.
Also: the spoiler bit is hilarious. If handled properly I'd be totally behind that. 'yeah whoever set this up was kind of an asshole'. Something for Goku/Bulma to yell at God about later.
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (5 days later)
Well, spoiler
u/kreschnav [+2] (2 days later)
Great chapter! I only vaguely remember these guys, but I do remember Son Gohan being at the end of that arc. Hope your Goku still gets to see him one last time.
Am I right in assuming that Bulma's heart skipping a beat was less due to the magic demonstration and more due to the fact that someone with superhuman strength just threw a baseball near her head?
u/SimoneNonvelodico [+2] Dai-Gurren Brigade (2 days later)
Pretty sure that was it, yeah.
u/LupoCani [+1] (2 days later)