34 KiB
[RST] Pokemon: The Origin of Species, Chapter 60: Interlude IX - Thunder
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/60/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 93
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Created: 2018-10-01T11:27:04
Post:
Comments:
u/Makin- [+40] homestuck ratfic, you can do it (43 minutes later)
Are you going to be rolling dice?
u/GaBeRockKing [+21] Horizon Breach: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6785857 (4 hours later)
Pls no
u/None [+30] (6 hours later)
[deleted]
u/Croktopus [+5] (3 days later)
no...im just starting to recover from (WTC spoilers)>!Fenn!<
u/empocariam [+8] (a day later)
Ah, I hope not. I really feel like there is an arch to this story, or, I guess, there is a known climax/conclusion. Worm wasn't answering a question in the same way OtOoS is. And I would hate for that to be gunked up by percentiles.
u/LazarusRises [+9] (2 days later)
I think all the protags should have plot armor (or just plot Death Ward), but not their pokemon, and not side characters. I'd love to see the Zapdos fight run like the Levi fight with pokemon as parahumans.
u/Ulmaxes [+40] (2 hours later)
I love the reversal of Surge's place in the setting- instead of being the only remaining relic of any sort of concern for war, he's a visionary- who knows that something worse is coming, and is preparing for it.
u/empocariam [+19] (a day later)
It's really kinda sad if you think about it, he is still at war in his mind, perhaps justifiable, but even so it's a tragic state for a person to perpetually be.
u/LazarusRises [+16] (2 days later)
Surge is like the doomsday prepper who gets to gloat to all his friends when the bombs start falling. Like a much-less-creepy Howard from 10 Cloverfield Lane.
u/Croktopus [+15] (3 days later)
but he's doing it for them. so good.
u/DaystarEld [+21] Pokémon Professor (20 seconds later)
Hey everyone, welcome back! Not much new to announce, still trying to catch up on various other projects. Hope you enjoy the chapter, and all feedback welcome, as always!
u/360Saturn [+20] (9 hours later)
I can't believe you referenced the this is fine meme at such a serious moment omg
Also guessing you're a GoT/asoiaf fan with that three headed dragon and its rider
u/krazy_dragon [+12] (10 hours later)
Its a 3 headed pokemon:
https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Hydreigon_(Pokémon)
u/360Saturn [+1] (10 hours later)
I know. But likely a deliberate choice given the setting and number of draco meteor dragons available to choose from.
u/I_Probably_Think [+18] (a day later)
It also happens to be the pseudo-legendary from Unova though. I vote coincidence, or very very very pre-masterminded reference.
u/rric1223 [+1] (6 years later)
In a Mewtwo chapter he directly quotes Tyrion, so I'd say the author probably is a fan of ASoIaF
u/absolute-black [+17] (7 hours later)
God this is killing me just as bad as worm endbringer fights do - although this is already a lot further into the story than Leviathan was, word count wise.
u/None [+15] (10 hours later)
Has it been explained yet why the storm birds attack cities, when other legendaries don't? Is Arceus or Lugia mad at humanity or something? If not, I can't wait for that reveal!
Do humans in this world even know that the other legendaries exist? They reference Arceus, but as a religious figure. Has anybody ever seen Kyogre or Groundon?
Also, what are humans in this world? There doesn't seem to be any other normal animals in this world, just pokemon. Are these humans just a really weak normal type, that traded almost all of their ability to use moves for increased intelligence, or is humanity a whole separate branch on the tree of life? Some humans are psychic, and some are dark, so they don't seem entirely unrelated to pokemon.
u/ManyCookies [+26] (21 hours later)
The stormbirds don't specifically attack cities, they seasonally fly around and sometimes happen to intersect cities (iirc Blue mentions a winter where Articuno just hung around some uninhabited island).
Has anybody ever seen Kyogre or Groundon?
Giovanni seemed to take their existence for granted in the last chapter, he only questioned how strong they were.
u/Radix2309 [+5] (13 days later)
Based on game lore I would say they exist but have been inactive for a while.
u/empocariam [+17] (a day later)
Your last question is the central mystery of the whole work, so I don't suspect it will be answered until it is addressed in the story.
u/Nic_Cage_DM [+14] (2 hours later)
Oh damn the suspense is killing me.
u/I_Probably_Think [+14] (9 hours later)
The chapter seemed a bit short but daaaaaang the dialogue with Blue was an amazing section!
u/None [+12] (an hour later)
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7085 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?
u/tjhance [+15] (16 hours later)
I was surprised and a bit confused by the fight scene, since i was expecting challenge-for-membership to be more difficult than the challenge-for-mastery.
u/None [+12] (22 hours later)
[deleted]
u/thrawnca [+6] Carbon-based biped (5 days later)
Author has now fixed this in chapter 23; yes, membership is the first and easiest option.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+7] Death of Crabs (a day later)
Well, he was up against an Eelektross, the only known Pokemon with no type weakness.
u/tjhance [+7] (a day later)
Yeah, but that was one of the pokemon he was going to use, anyway, right? It sounded like he had a line-up for the mastery challenge, then for the membership challenge he just used the one pokemon.
u/nipplelightpride [+3] (4 days later)
It kind of sounded like Surge was purposefully greatly reducing the difficulty of the fight, since he wanted to recruit Blue.
u/None [+5] (16 hours later)
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.0660 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?
u/Silver_Swift [+7] (17 hours later)
More difficult than a third badge challenge for mastery at least (you can't expect all gym members to be eight badge level trainers). I'm guessing gym leaders have a lot of leeway in how challenging they make the membership challenges.
u/Memes_Of_Production [+11] (12 hours later)
I think that is intentional - the fight with Surge is trivial compared to Zapdos, so its pacing out the drama. But fair enough if that didnt work for you!
u/None [+5] (13 hours later)
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.9953 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?
u/Croktopus [+12] (an hour later)
goddamn dude. always so intense.
u/jldew [+11] (8 hours later)
I'm just wondering. Gary in Vermillion. Ash in Saffron. Leaf doing god knows what. Are we in for a time skip soon?
u/None [+8] (16 hours later)
[deleted]
u/None [+7] (18 hours later)
Prof. Oak and I assume a typo for Red
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+10] Death of Crabs (a day later)
In OoS Professor Oak's name is Sam.
u/jldew [+5] (a day later)
Both are typos referring to Blue and Red.
u/Silver_Swift [+7] (18 hours later)
Leaf is with Red, isn't she? Both of them are teleporting back to vermilion together.
u/pokepotter4 [+11] (a day later)
I think they mean where they're headed (assuming they survive the Zapdos fight), rather than where they are right now.
u/Silver_Swift [+6] (a day later)
Right, that makes a lot more sense.
u/jldew [+3] (a day later)
That's exactly what I mean.
u/HeroOfOldIron [+10] (12 hours later)
Unrelated question I remembered. Are pokemon capable of doing so allowed to wield weapons in official trainer matches? A while ago I had the mental image of a Machamp carrying around a bunch of swords and throwing stars and all kinds of other tomfoolery.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+11] Death of Crabs (a day later)
Cubone and Farfetch'd are.
u/empocariam [+6] (a day later)
I wonder if they would be even intelligent enough for it. They are "human-shaped" but that doesn't necessarily imply they even have ape-like intelligences. They could just be big dumb bears with thumbs.
u/TheTrickFantasic [+4] (a month later)
Some research suggests that the average bear may be at least as smart as some monkeys.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347212002126
u/ManyCookies [+11] (21 hours later)
For about a paragraph after Surge declined the gym challenge, I thought Blue would eventually end up getting a PITY BADGE from his city defense.
I'm surprised Membership is an easier challenge than Mastery. I guess I headcanon'd that formal Membership was reserved for higher up positions who might need to challenge/teach veteran trainers, lest the gym leader spend all their time in Membership battles against whatever random Lass wants to hang around.
u/sir_pirriplin [+16] (2 days later)
I think the idea is that Membership is the standard path, where you work for the gym while they train you and then you challenge for Mastery when you learned everything they can teach. Challenging for Mastery right away is the fast path for ambitious trainers.
u/thrawnca [+10] Carbon-based biped (5 days later)
Nice idea, if u/daystareld agrees. If so, though, then membership should probably be listed first; see chapter 23, which clearly states "Mastery, Membership, or Leadership" and "Each is more difficult than the last."
u/DaystarEld [+14] Pokémon Professor (5 days later)
Woops, you're right. Changing it now!
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+4] Death of Crabs (3 days later)
Except that anyone can take the lessons in the gym, member or not. There may be premium lessons for members only, but members are expected to fulfil real and potentially dangerous duties in the gym, city, and local area. Not to mention that the Leader themself is challenged.
u/sir_pirriplin [+4] (3 days later)
Maybe randos are tutored by gym members and the gym members are tutored by the leader. Then once a trainer learns all they can from the gym members, naturally they'll want to learn from the leader, so they challenge for membership to show they are ready.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+3] Death of Crabs (3 days later)
Maybe. But gym leaders are also known to hand out TMs to trainers who win their mastery badges.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+7] Death of Crabs (a day later)
I think it was mostly just a formality. Let the little shit prove that he is at least minimally competent, then put him to work solving an otherwise intractable problem to save you the work with the expectation that he'll go on his way upon success (or failure), potentially as an asset to the gym.
u/crivtox [+10] Closed Time Loop Enthusiast (10 hours later)
Is blue going to start an hpmor stile training armies ark in surge's gym ?.
u/None [+18] (an hour later)
Huh, I was not expecting new york vs. native americans. Makes you wonder just what's going on in the pokemon world that people have all these unconnected patches of civilization, but don't seem to expand between them.
u/Ulmaxes [+16] (2 hours later)
It could also simply be a matter of culture. Expansion has certainly been a favored past time of our world's nations, but not all of them. And given the the vast, destructive power of Pokemon, establishing large stable empires before pokeballs would be extremely difficult.
u/Lipat97 [+10] (8 hours later)
Is it implied that pokemon can only be domesticated through pokeballs? I was under the impression that many, if not all, were tamable and that pokeballs only magnified the process. In that case, war wouldn't be on the scale we see here but a guy who makes friends with a charmander when he was a kid is going to be able to take over a couple of villages at least later on.
It does seem like suuuper large scale societies aren't really a thing. Unova, Kanto, Johto etc don't really seem very big. Unova's map might just be based off of New York, maybe it's actually a bigger region, but even then I doubt it's bigger than New York State.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+14] Death of Crabs (9 hours later)
Riding a dragon to war is not in the same league as having your soldiers each wearing a literal army of monsters on a grenade belt.
u/Lipat97 [+8] (9 hours later)
A sword isn't on the same level as a gun, but people still did a loooot of damage before guns were around. It isn't entirely about the power of your own weapon, it's about the power of your weapon relative to the power of their weapons. Riding a dragon into battle is insane in a world without pokeballs, especially since it's probably a pretty rare thing to have that strong of a pokemon before pokeballs. Having an army of monsters makes you an average citizen in this story, having a charizard in a world where people are still in the feudal age makes you strong enough to almost start an empire on your own.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+8] Death of Crabs (10 hours later)
That's the impression I get from the story, that warlords ravaged the world, or protected a small piece of it.
Though I get the distinct impression that the average citizen is not a trainer armed with six+ pseudo-legendaries. Trainers clearly receive a lot of state support to do what they do (for starters, the manufacture of Pokeballs must surely be subsidised to keep them affordable), and I doubt that would work if everyone was in on it. Laura seems more like an average citizen, who had no Pokemon in adulthood at all until she purchased a Tangela that had already received basic training.
u/Lipat97 [+6] (13 hours later)
Holy shit that's even more insane to think that Pokemon might only be a middle class+ thing. Can you imagine how much worse class divisions would be if the wealthy legit had fire breathing dragons ready to ride around? Most fully evolved Pokemon are stronger than most Marvel superheros/villains. Thank god they have this renegade shit going on because class warfare would be insane in this universe. But then again maybe it's just some horse-riding kind of thing, the Renegade laws make it hard to use it for legit oppression but indirectly its probably a lot harder to survive in that world without pokemon of your own considering how much of a threat wild pokemon are. I mean I think we've had quite a few tier 3 events in this story already and I don't think it's been a full year yet.
But I am still curious about how the smaller city states are explained. I think it'd take a bit more convincing to say that the presence of Pokemon is enough of a reason for humans to have only gotten so far with their expanding their regions. It seems like it took them around 3 days for the two journeys between Cerulean and Brock's city and Pallet Town. That puts the region maybe at the size of Ireland? And it's not implied that the other regions are that much bigger, otherwise that would be mentioned more. We know they've at least tried to take shit over in the past, so it's not like they're peaceful than normal human.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+6] Death of Crabs (14 hours later)
I don't know how big it is in the games or in OoS, but Kanto is based, in name and coastline, on the Kantō region of Japan, which is the one with Tokyo in it. It's about the size of Belgium.
u/Lipat97 [+5] (14 hours later)
Yeah I was somewhat aware of that, but I heard some imply that it might be a Kanto scaled up, Unova a scaled up NYC, etc so I was just going off what's in the story.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+10] Death of Crabs (14 hours later)
We will have to ask u/DaystarEld so that he makes the schoolboy error of publicly committing to a specific size regardless of story needs so that we can pick over travel times for every inconsistency.
That way it can be a huge scandal when Red and Leaf are cornered by Shadow Pokemon while abroad and send an emergency message from Shiver Camp to Victory Road via Murkrow, resulting Lance successfully flying his Dragonites to the rescue by the following morning.
And tragically loses his fan-favourite Aerodactyl to a well-aimed Icicle Spear attack, but that reaction will be lost to the supersonic Murkrow controversy.
u/DaystarEld [+7] Pokémon Professor (19 hours later)
But actually yes, I'm trying to treat it as roughly the size of the Kanto region.
u/Lipat97 [+7] (15 hours later)
Lmaooo I got that reference, fuck that episode.
u/Radix2309 [+2] (13 days later)
Pokeballs give you 24 hour reprogramming of pokemon. Before them you have to do the training. It is just a vast difference in scale.
u/Lipat97 [+1] (14 days later)
Okay but that just means a normal trainer would have to wait until their like 30 before they're as strong as the people in the story, but that's still not nothing.
u/Radix2309 [+2] (14 days later)
I don't think they would ever be as effective. Maybe with a single Pokemon. But pokeballs give you numbers and versatility. You can habe an arsenal of Pokemon for each trainer.
Not to mention that taking decades to fully train means that they are valuable resources. And they need to defend against the much more imminent Pokemon rampages, They don't have much oppurtunity for war, let alone war that risks their trainers and trained pokemon.
u/Lipat97 [+1] (14 days later)
Okay so you're argument is basically that humans would be too focused on surviving to actually fight each other? That sounds valid on paper, but it never works in real life. When resources become more valuable, conflict increases, not decreases. Perhaps a more related comparison would be the zombie apocalypse. Quite a bit of literature has been written on varying types of zombie apocalypses, and no matter how bad the zombies are, it's unanimously agreed that other humans are more of a threat than the zombies. It doesn't matter if they're slow Walking Dead zombies or ridiculous World War Z zombies or the unkilable Train To Busan zombies, the humans kill more than the zombies do. And humans aren't exactly great at resource management, just because a resource is valuable doesn't mean they won't throw it away for some bullshit. And as I said somewhere else, in a world where a strong team of pokemon is rare, literally one guy with a Charizard could take over a country on his own. The kids in this story right now would straight up be able to solo a decently sized village if not a city. Brock could do so with just one pokemon.
Side note, Im starting to realize the woman who wrote World War Z (and the Zombie Survival Guide) kinda predated this whole rational thing.
u/Radix2309 [+2] (14 days later)
Not to not fight, but dangerous enough not to risk their trainers and their trained Pokemon in a war. Each Pokemon lost is years of training gone.
You are right about the charizard stuff. And Surge mentions warlords taking over regions. That would happen. But I expect they wouldn't fight large scale battles like this. A charizard would take a lot of training to control, And you aren't going to risk it fighting in open war. You just subjugate those weaker than you. Fear of losing is a powerful motivator. I expect before the pokeballs and the League, cities were ruled by the equivalent of gym leaders. Who held political power in addition to pokemon.
u/Lipat97 [+1] (14 days later)
Not to not fight, but dangerous enough not to risk their trainers and their trained Pokemon in a war. Each Pokemon lost is years of training gone.
You're right, logically that would be how it works. But humans aren't logical, and humans are even less logical when they're constantly under threat. Rationally, they'd be reckless with their pokemon and some would even benefit massively from being reckless.
And you aren't going to risk it fighting in open war.
Depends on what the war wins you. And these "open wars" don't have to be that large scale. Maybe these warlords get an army population in the thousands. So that's a 5K humans on each side along with maybe 40 big pokemon and 200 lesser pokemon. I suppose the humans involved would have spears and arrows. Now unless your the South humans don't usually start a war unless they think they can win. So you wouldn't usually see even battles like that, but lets say you do.
Although now you got me thinking of how humans would even far in a pokemon world without pokeballs. In the real world, humans "counter" large animals (we evolved to hunt water buffalo in Africa) and are countered by insects (no fur). In the pokemon world, our ability to chase prey down probably would not be nearly as effective, but our pack hunting and our weapon usage would still at least challenge a Tauros. Also our main counter in nature, insects, are now giant sized. Believe it or not, this actually helps us. In fact, we would probably hunt Beedrill. Any physical based attacker that is fairly large and doesn't have armor that would resist spears would be pretty good for us. Just skimming through the first gen, most bug types, Venasaur, Raticate, Wigglituff, Poliwrath, Dugong, Lickitung, Seaking, Kangaskhan, Seadra, Chansey, the eeveelutions, and they MIGHT be able to hunt flying types and fighting types. Of course with the stuff there's always the important question of how much food you get out the hunt, but considering killing two beedrill is probably more valuable now than a single buffalo was, so while many of these mons might have high risk, they also have much higher reward than our traditional prey.
u/Radix2309 [+1] (14 days later)
That seems fair.
I guess the next bigger thing is the distance between regions. The war was instigated because of expansion into the wilderness near the other region. Something that wouldn't be possible without stable regions. They don't have time to expand when they need to rebuild cities every century or so. Besides there are nearby cities to fight before inter-regional warfare.
I would say the lack of ability to build such infrastructure would prevent wars like this. At least for the most part. You have to worry about a forest fire spiraling out of control or a rampaging Onyx.
u/LazarusRises [+10] (3 hours later)
Seemed to me it was more of a USA vs. Canada situation, with most of the USA being New York and most of Canada being First Nations.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+7] Death of Crabs (9 hours later)
They are on opposite ends of the continent, and if that holds true for the Pokemon world we are potentially looking at a continent's worth of wilds being upset. It may be that Inuvik is losing a way of life in those wilds, but it's more likely that Unovan development is displacing the wildlife and increasing the threat to Inuvika cities from the likes of Volcarona, Haxorus, and Darmanitan.
If activities in Hoenn resulted in an increased threat to Kanto from Dragonite and Gyarados, you can bet that Kanto would take action.
u/LazarusRises [+5] (11 hours later)
I don't quite understand the relevance of your comment to mine, do you disagree with me in a way I'm not seeing?
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+9] Death of Crabs (12 hours later)
I thought I did, but I can't honestly remember what the hell I was thinking.
u/LazarusRises [+5] (12 hours later)
Ha, ok. Good points anyway!
u/empocariam [+5] (a day later)
Yeah I wondered about that. I think it is the author's perogative to do some world building while we wait for GameFreak to catch up, but I think it's a little muddy here. The Inuit and Sioux are not exactly New York adjacent. I wonder if a play on the Iroquois confederation might feel more appropriate geographically.
u/Radix2309 [+1] (13 days later)
Well cities have to have defensible positions to avoid being destroyed by Pokemon incidents. I imagine plenty show up and fall over time.
Being nearby to each other probably gives the region's connectivity. Which is only increased with the modern technology and safety from Pokeballs.
And when you have a safe region, why would you go to the wilderness inbetween them? The areas outside would probably be colonies of nearby regions, which is the seeming cause of the war in Unova.
u/Lipat97 [+8] (9 hours later)
Fantastic chapter, had a lot of great world building to it. The part about Blue and Surge and the Zapdos was really well done, I wanna see more about how Surge prepared for war and whether he can do anything about Blue, but by far the best part was the beginning with the war. Seeing how war is in this 'verse is really interesting. Its also interesting to see you make up a new region. So this chapter gave a lot more insight (and a lot more questions!) about the larger scale geopolitics of this world. You've gone beyond explaining pokemon genetically and gotten to how military tactics would evolve around pokemon. At the very least, talking about whether these people are expansionist might hint towards whether humans are naturally that way or if we are that way culturally or if they simply wouldn't be naturally that way in a world with pokemon. This also kinda plays into the whole vegan thing because we probably wouldn't have evolved to eat as much meat if we weren't the Apex predator in every continent. Are all the regions in this universe small? I can't see Unova as being bigger than New York State. Do they all have a pokemon league? Is this world mostly wilderness with small pockets of strong human civilizations? Or is the entire world populated (like ours) but everything is small nation states, comparable to Europe or how the US would look if every state was it's own country. Its presumed that the power of pokemon would make large countries difficult to maintain, especially before pokeballs, but it's also implied that pokemon were still tamable before pokeballs, so war would and territorial expansion would still have existed. And Surge mentioned how entire regions used to get wiped out, so its not like regions are a new thing. But in the real world the expansion of a nation is limited by transportation, which these guys have in spades. So are wild pokemon really more of a boon to expansionist states than a lack of transportation? Again, it is possible that culturally they wouldn't be more peaceful because they wouldn't have been predators like humans in our universe were, but it probably is worth exploring.
And then how does war interact with pokemon? Being able to teleport away is huge, it makes kamikazes super viable, especially when kamikaze planes can have voltorbs in them. The fact that a hyper beam can probably bust through anything makes big tanks and big aircraft carriers not very strong. Or if those things are able to withstand anything BUT a hyper beam then hyper beam will become very important. And pokemon who can defend against those high power attacks would be super strong, being able to put a protective bubble around one of those helicopters would have been a W. And what about bullets? I presume a machine gun would rip through any of the bird pokemon, and we have confirmation that guns are a thing in the show (episode where Ash mistook a camera for a gun). Are pokemon that are resistant to metal type attacks also resistant to bullets? If so, by how much? Do bullets just bounce of Charizard or is it more like his skin is a bullet proof vest? The way that bullets, missiles, and explosions interact with the typing stuff could have huge implications on what's strong in battle.
Also I totally see you setting up for Blue to start to side with Giovanni. Giving Blue a way to kill the birds might be too big for him to pass up, and he already kinda idolizes the dude anyway. Maybe he won't go complete turn coat but I can see you're gonna do some interesting things with that.
u/AllFuckingNamesGone [+8] (12 hours later)
episode where Ash mistook a camera for a gun
Or you know, the episode where he had one literally pointed at his face.
u/Lipat97 [+6] (13 hours later)
Oh was there one of those? I thought it was a camera and he mistook it for a gun, unless it's a different episode.
u/AllFuckingNamesGone [+9] (15 hours later)
You might not have seen the episode, since it was banned everywhere because of pervasive use of guns.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+9] Death of Crabs (9 hours later)
Eelectross brought a smile to my face, it's definitely one of my favourite electric types, alongside Jolteon. I've used Giga Drain Eelectross on Smogon to great effect. It feels great when an unsuspecting opponent counters with a ground type only to find their attacks completely ineffective and being beaten about the head with life steal.
I would have countered Surge by having Rhyhorn lead with Smack Down and quickly followed up with an Earthquake.
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor (26 seconds later)
Typo thread!
u/None [+7] (52 minutes later)
[deleted]
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/masasin [+6] (5 hours later)
Lots of mixing between past tense and present, even within the same sentence.
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Yeah, that keeps coming up no matter how often I check :P I'll have to do an out-loud read to catch them all soon.
u/masasin [+5] (19 hours later)
FWIW, it's mainly okay outside the interlude.
u/Grasmel [+7] (55 minutes later)
Be still remembers -> He still remembers
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Fixed!
u/UNWS [+5] (52 minutes later)
Pokemon kill trainers when going all out all the time, and the idea of beating all your opponent's pokemon so that they surrender is unrealistic in What worried him was the potential for escalation
I think there was a missing word here, maybe "war"
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Fixed!
u/sharikak54 [+3] (11 hours later)
... compound, a flash of electricity hitting him and making something.
Making something burn?
... Surge feels himself naturally feel those dramatic beats, when the knowledge of what feels right seems to ...
"Feel" is overused in this sentence.
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (18 hours later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/thrawnca [+4] Carbon-based biped (a day later)
The flashback uses mostly past tense, with occasional present tense; it should be consistent.
Did I actually - This might be correct, but "Do I actually" seems more likely.
making its way/making their way
kinds of ordinance/kinds of ordnance
electricity that hits it/electricity that hits them
Inuvaks/Inuviks
few minute's jog/few minutes' jog
is eyes opened/his eyes opened
a Unovan/an Unovan
into at his meetings/at his meetings
power of pokemon were/power of pokemon was
submission like trophies - singular vs plural disagreement
does wishes/does wish
Each of these were/Each of these was
; risk everything we have/: risk everything we have
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor (2 days later)
All fixed, thanks! Except for the "a unova" one, I believe it's pronounced with a "Yu" sound beginning, like "UN^(itedstates) OF A^(merica)."
u/IdiotCharizard [+2] (6 days later)
They gave affirmative, and he asked the same of the other pilots.
Should be gave affirmation? Or maybe gave the affirmative?
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (6 days later)
Yep, fixing now, thanks :)
u/None [+1] (22 days later)
In chapter 18:
a response to the the trainers they passed
A really great story, by the way - I'm mainly enjoying the science bits.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor (23 days later)
Fixed, thanks!
u/pokepotter4 [+1] (a day later)
"Belay that," Mayor Keyes said
should probably be Delay
u/hork23 [+8] (a day later)
Belay is a word.
u/ForMyWork [+6] (18 hours later)
Nice chapter! Looking forward to the next with all this buildup. Also for Red and Leaf to show up again, maybe with a Giovanni interaction, that might be more Blue though. Still, thanks for the chapter! Looking forward to the next one.
u/ManyCookies [+3] (24 days later)
Oh by the by:
Each copter had six soldiers in addition to their pilots, two of which had a gothitelle on their belts, the psychic pokemon specially selected for their unusually strong ability to block teleportation.
I appreciate these little nods to competitive play (and Misty's toxistalling strategy made me smile).