7.4 KiB
[RT] SMBC Deconstructs Superheroes Again
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Author: u/blazinghand Chaos Undivided*
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Score: 58
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Created: 2015-08-25T17:50:48
Post:
Comments:
u/alexanderwales [+26] Time flies like an arrow*
This works for street-level crime, but not for city-scale or larger threats. If Ra's al Ghul is going to disperse Scarecrow's fear toxin into the water supply of Gotham, the same crime-fighting action arguably has more impact on a large city than a small one (because a large city has more infrastructure, which means there are more chances for catastrophe). Same goes for an incoming asteroid, Weather Wizard bringing the city into a perpetual winter, etc. This is assuming we're using the comic's metric of overall security, which I'm not sure is a good one. This is also without getting into the whole "superheroes as security vs. superheroes as utility" issue dealt with in this comic. (And yes, I know /u/mrweiner is just making a joke.)
u/blazinghand [+10] Chaos Undivided*
Yeah, if there are superpowered villains, you don't want Superman lifting and lowering his arms repeatedly, you want him preventing society from collapsing under the strain of superhuman crime. I wonder what Speedsheet would do to directly fight crime. Forensic accounting to show Lex Luthor's nefarious money laundering or funding of secret supervillainy?
u/ToaKraka [+28] https://i.imgur.com/OQGHleQ.png*
Well, the Number Man in Worm is capable of similar feats. In this chapter, for example, he does a bunch of financial finagling to impede the actions of a criminal organization:
The transfers took him less than thirty seconds to arrange, and would occupy them for one or two days. So it isn't too far-fetched.
u/dalr3th1n [+18] *
Of course, the Number Man can also beat up most foes by predicting where they're likely to strike and getting out of the way.
u/eaglejarl [+10] *
I always wondered what a Number Man vs Contessa fight would look like from the Number Man's perspective. He's supposed to be able to analyze everything, but she has to win. What would the numbers look like to him?
u/sir_pirriplin [+16] *
It would look like he has a chance until he realizes that as his actions move along the gradient of increasing chance of winning, he is actually backing himself into a corner somehow in the end.
u/JimboMonkey1234 [+6] *
I feel like his powers would just tell him to surrender.
u/aeschenkarnos [+6] *
Or not get into any such fight in the first place, and just do what she wants, which may have already happened during his pre-Number Man identity backstory - a time in which he (apparently) was grossly under-utilizing and misusing his powers. (Probably Jack's fault - but Jack needed him too. Layers within layers.)
u/eaglejarl [+12] *
Pretty much everyone in Worm grossly under- and mis-used their powers. The wanted them to fight and wear spandex, not be efficient.
u/aeschenkarnos [+4] *
Yep. "Being efficient" was Taylor's primary superpower.
u/None [+6] *
People really oversell Taylor's munchkinry. EVERYONE'S powers are blackboxed and restricted. Munckinry is limited. You can only do it so much as you have a versatile power or teammate. You can't alter the power itself. Someone like Taylor has a pretty versatile power when you think about it,combined with some insane insect feats (I suppose you could blame it on Master control) and just leveraged it. Someone like Purity isn't not leveraging her power. She charges it at the appropriate times and uses it wisely, but there's little she can do to make her power better or more "efficient". She's not being inefficient, she's making lemonade with what she has in a specific social context.
u/eaglejarl [+3] *
Not really. If she'd been efficient she wouldn't have been a cape.
u/aeschenkarnos [+2] *
Eh ... I'm gonna disagree with that. See, you can only be efficient within your own knowledge. Just as we can only express concepts through communication (including language, signing, writing, etc). There may exist concepts expressable outside of communication, but communication is our mechanism for expressing things, so even if we could somehow express these concepts, they're not going to be understood. A new pathway between expression and understanding would need to be created, which would then come under the heading of communication. In order to "not be a cape", Taylor would have had to know things that she didn't know. After gaining that knowledge (aka "learning") she would have had to reach backwards, through retrocausality, to change her own prior view of the world, and thereby avoid having to gain that knowledge. The starting assumption for Taylor, and everyone else without retrocausal informational powers, is that "person with powers" is and only is "a cape". She can only be efficient within her assumptions.
u/dalr3th1n [+1] *
I think he would likely see the pretty close to 100% probability of her beating him.
u/ricree [+4] *
I wonder what Speedsheet would do to directly fight crime For every villain or hero, there would probably be a dozen more perfectly content to sit on the sidelines. Speedsheet could perhaps use her powers of analysis to make it more desirable and profitable for those on the sidelines to step in and support the heroes.
u/Chronophilia [+14] sci-fi ≠ futurology*
super pattern recognition Tattletale, is that you?
u/None [+9] *
Alright, I now need a story about SpeedSheet's origin
u/Roxolan [+14] Head of antimemetiWalmart senior assistant manager*
She's actually an alien from the little-known Grid Planet, where interesting geological formations have made discerning and establishing patterns on a grid a key survival trait.
u/blazinghand [+11] Chaos Undivided*
Bitten by a radioactive database query, he now has all its powers! Edit: she
u/None [+6] *
u/gameboy17 [+6] Canterlot Campaign*
She was originally a detective tracking a serial killer. By chance, said serial killer killed her parents. A month later, she realized that she had already had all the data needed to find him, that if she had just been better at analyzing data her parents would still be alive. And then she triggered.
u/kaukamieli [+6] *
Well, Superman definitely can do much better than stopping muggers. Supervillain nuked the city? Travel back in time and embarass his father so that the mother never gets together with him.
u/darkflagrance [+5] *
That's why people like Brainiac 5, Oracle, and Contessa exist.