1.5 KiB
The Good Student - Chapter Twenty Five
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Author: u/Veedrac *
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URL: http://gravitytales.com/Novel/the-good-student/tgs-chapter-25
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Score: 51
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Created: 2017-07-23T19:46:35
Post:
Comments:
u/JulianWyvern [+16] Wayward Wanderer*
Ah, title drop huh. The sudden shift in scene from the librarian telling Nic to follow her and then into the cafeteria was bit weird, I feel like a mention of her showing Nic the book would be better before one of those scene break marks and then the cafeteria scene. Would probably require minor changes for the bed scene, probably just having Nic mention the paper with his notes from the book
u/KilotonDefenestrator [+5] *
The sudden shift in scene from the librarian telling Nic to follow her and then into the cafeteria was bit weird, This confused me too. I had to go back and read it again to check if I had unconsciously skipped a paragraph. I think it would flow better if there was something there to bridge the gap, however minor. Really liking the story so far.
u/tokol [+3] The Greater Good*
Typos:
“I don’t know belong to any clubs,” said Nic. know belong -> belong
u/mooderino [+2] The Good Student*
Thanks.
u/Iconochasm [+11] *
Beautiful closing paragraph. Things were shaky for a couple of chapters there, but I'm really liking where this is going.