27 KiB
[RST] Pokemon: The Origin of Species, 52 - Departing
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Author: u/DaystarEld Pokémon Professor*
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URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9794740/52/Pokemon-The-Origin-of-Species
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Score: 75
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Created: 2018-02-01T13:30:03
Post:
Comments:
u/gbear605 [+23] history’s greatest story*
The last scene, with Blue and Red talking about what it means to be a hero was really beautiful. Thanks. :)
u/DaystarEld [+4] Pokémon Professor*
Glad you enjoyed it :)
u/DaystarEld [+15] Pokémon Professor*
Welcome back everyone! For those that missed it, second chapter of my original fiction, Guardian, is available on my site for those that missed it. As always, all feedback is welcome, on that chapter or this, either there or here. Hope you enjoy them!
u/MaddoScientisto [+9] *
I just finished reading, I got to say that I'm not used to seeing people actually settle things rationally when emotional stuff comes up, it almost never happens in fiction, even though maybe it would be much better if it did. Also I'm more and more worried about the upcoming cruise, knowing what happened in the anime... or at least I was until I realized that Blue was not going, therefore removing an eventual dilemma about teleporting, although the other dilemma about the other people still stands and it actually gets asked in the story, pretty interesting. I'm still worried a bit.
u/DaystarEld [+6] Pokémon Professor*
I just finished reading, I got to say that I'm not used to seeing people actually settle things rationally when emotional stuff comes up, it almost never happens in fiction, even though maybe it would be much better if it did. As long as it doesn't swing too far in the opposite direction and everyone's emotional stuff always gets resolved in one quick and easy conversation, I think it would often be better too :)
u/Icare0 [+9] *
Well, wasn't that a ominious ending? This could easily be a turning point of the story, in which Blue undergoes some traumatic event that deeply changes him, like everybody dying horribly due to his mistakes or due to Team Rocket, sending him into a downwards spiral of hatred/vengeange that will make him become a Tyrant Champion that only Red can depose, at which point Red will have became the hero he wanted Blue to become, someone that can keep no secrets and still win anyway. Nah, that will never happen. Right? Right?
u/chicomendoza [+3] *
This would be really interesting to see play out. The relationship dynamic between our 3 protagonists would really start to shift. Red and Blue would start to drift apart slowly and I think Blue and Leaf's relationship would reach a breaking point even quicker
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+1] *
Don't even dare to break my ship
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+1] *
Dam it! That sounds like a really awesome story! But at the same time, I love the likable Blue after all the canon prick versions. Well, I guess I will like any outcome
u/LazarusRises [+6] *
Clearly the acronym is pronounced "RAft-WoP."
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor*
You win: that's even worse :)
u/TheGreatTactician [+7] *
I just want you to know that every time I see a new chapter of this story, it makes my entire day. Seriously, I actually spend all month waiting for the next update, only to repeat the process. Keep up the nice work my dude. Assuming that Generation 8 (or however many more gens come about while you're writing this story) come out before you finish your story, will their Pokémon and regions and such exist in your story's universe? Will we ever get to see the group interact with Gen 6 and 7 Pokémon? Now I'm wondering how other regions handle disasters. Kanto is tame compared to Hoenn or Alola I'd imagine, considering the former has deities that constantly battle to eternally drown/drought the world, and the latter has actual beserk and amoral deities running amok and doing whatever they please. Not to mention Ultra Beasts. Now I want to see Red interact with Ultra Beasts and see how he as a researcher would react.Have you considered writing an in-depth type of "History of the Pokéworld" based in your universe? You know, with history and how society and culture in different regions differ-stuff like that? Anyway, sorry for typing so much. I just really love your story!
u/DaystarEld [+10] Pokémon Professor*
I'm glad you're enjoying it so much :) Some Gen 6 and 7 pokemon will show up, yeah, and when 8 comes out I'll probably mention stuff from it, like I did with Alola. Hoenn's legendaries are more of a specific event thing, they're not normally just wandering around like the storm birds are, so thankfully they don't have to worry about them: in fact they're actually mythic pokemon who get "downgraded" to legendaries during the events of the game, in terms of how the people in the world view them.
u/noimnotgreedy [+6] *
The Viridian Forest chapters were hellish enough; I'd rather not see walking/swimming calamities like Groudon/Kyogre around. Even worse if they're actually more intelligent than average. Rayquaza may be strong, but one killing cur... uhm, ice beam will bring it down! To say nothing of the generation 4 legendaries.
u/Trips-Over-Tail [+4] Death of Crabs*
I second TheGreatTactician (if that is his real name). I follow a lot of serialised stories, but this one is my favourite.
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Thank you!
u/avret [+4] SDHS rationalist*
u/Ibbot [+8] *
I think so. If you look at this page, you can see how it was done.
u/DaystarEld [+5] Pokémon Professor*
Yep, /u/Ibbot's got the proof :)
u/LazarusRises [+2] *
How would it be berry-based?
u/Sonderjye [+6] *
Not directly related to this chapter but when I initially heard about pokeballs being used on people, I had been been awaiting to hear how that affected Alakazams since these, according to the old games, had an IQ of 5000. I'm a little sad to see this was ignored.
u/DaystarEld [+14] Pokémon Professor*
/u/GMan129's got it right: whoever wrote the pokedex for Alakazam clearly did not understand/care how IQ works in their effort to make it seem impressive. A lot of the pokedex entries are full of flat-out impossibilities, so this isn't uncommon :) More importantly, if Alakazam were really that smart the pokemon world would look massively different. Since it doesn't, I have no reason to think they are.
u/GMan129 [+5] *
More importantly, if Alakazam were really that smart the pokemon world would look massively different. Since it doesn't, I have no reason to think they are That was the second part of my post - if they are that smart, then the world is the way it is because they're so smart, unless there's a third, smarter party... But yeah, while I'd have faith in your ability to execute that twist, I can't say I'm exactly eager for it. I love how the story is developing already :)
u/DaystarEld [+8] Pokémon Professor*
Now I'm just imagining an alakazam slowly taking shades out and putting them on as it approaches Red in a subway...
u/Sonderjye [+2] *
I get that. There really isn't any evidence for them being significantly smarter than people but I had been looking forward to the interesting moral implications of reducing intelligence of a pokemon by trapping it.
u/Icare0 [+2] *
Now I want to see a Rat!fic in which all dex entries are accurates representations of reality. Between Gardervoir's black holes and Lanturn's limitless power, I don't know what's scarier. I mean, aside from Yvetal's "everybody dies when I die" thing.
u/ketura [+11] Organizer*
Previous chapters have Alakazam significantly less...absurdly exaggerated. Like chimp level. (seriously when humanity is by definition average 100 and our super geniuses are like 160, 5000 is like GAI level.)
u/Jokey665 [+5] Worth the Candle*
yeah i recall them being mentioned as like 3 year old human levels of intelligence
u/DaystarEld [+9] Pokémon Professor*
3 year old human levels of intelligence puzzle solving skills* I should probably reiterate this in more detail at some point soon, since I keep seeing people generalize from one to the other :)
u/GMan129 [+5] *
That was the other thing I was thinking about, where maybe they did score super high on IQ tests, but it was because their brain was like a quantum computer that happened to be supremely well suited to IQ tests, or because they borrow processing power from people around them (though obviously a scientific study would keep the alakazam isolated from all but dark people with a control that used non-darks to see a difference), but they have like no personality of their own, or are lacking that sentient...idk what to call it. curiosity, self-awareness, creativity...i have trouble conceptualizing sapience...
u/DaystarEld [+7] Pokémon Professor*
I like the idea of alakazam "borrowing" people's minds to compute things faster :) Metagross is actually described as being smart as a supercomputer, which is why I conceptualized beldum as a pokemon that took form from actual computer towers.
u/GMan129 [+3] *
oh shit i thought that was just like regular pokemon lore lol. noiice
u/LazarusRises [+2] *
Goddamn, can't wait to meet a Metagross in this story.
u/Jokey665 [+2] Worth the Candle*
ah ok. i couldn't remember exactly what it was, but i remembered the 3 year old part
u/GMan129 [+17] *
I think it's best to ignore it because...IQ isn't generally a thing where, say, there's 200 questions and you get 150 right so your IQ is 150. Instead it's based on standard deviations. So in order to reach 150 in the first place, you need a couple thousand people in your sample, because otherwise that score will only have a fraction of a person in it. In order for there to exist a single person with an IQ of 1000, you'd need more people than there are atoms in the universe. For 5000...I can scarcely imagine. I suppose that you could excuse it by saying that some people imagine Alakazams as having an IQ of 5000 because they are 50 times smarter than the average human (whatever that means), but...if that's the case, than my hypothesis is that Alakazams are either aliens that descended on a still-primitive earth, created pokemon (and maybe humans), and parceled out all the incredible technology that we see in the Pokemon world to some unknowable alien end.... Or the world is just a simulation and the Alakazam are like Agents from the Matrix. edit: or maybe in the Pokemon world, average IQ is set to 10,000 instead of 100. That'd make it pretty funny actually. Though I would feel bad about enslaving a race of creatures with an average IQ of 50....
u/tokol [+3] The Greater Good*
At least it's not too late for Red to go full-Kafka as a Kadabra:
It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers. What if Red transfers a copy of his mind/consciousness into one of his (eventual) kadabras' bodies? (It's more likely that the Kadabra in the story just used its Ally Switch move.)
u/akaltyn [+4] *
The ethics of psychic powers thing is interesting. I wouldn't be hugely upset about the emotion pickup thing, but I imagine a lot of people would be. More of an issue if it was in another situation like say a negotiation where trying to hide your feelings was important.
u/thrawnca [+3] Carbon-based biped*
What makes it more interesting is that he already got whammied by Bill for this. Didn't read Bill's thoughts, but was able to guess at them by sensing emotions. Bill was not pleased. And then Red immediately has Aiko turning to him to make sure that he has silently and nonconsensually checked her father!
u/None [+5] *
Random thing, how did Red know the leader guy was Unovan? Are the different regions ethnically different?
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor*
Yep, I'm mapping them roughly onto the regions they're modeled after.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor*
Typo thread!
u/MaddoScientisto [+2] *
this one's is so small. extra 's or extra is Red hooes he helped hopes If something lie that if something like that
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
extra 's or extra is It's meant to abbreviate "this one's coin is so small," I added the word to make it less confusing :) Fixed the others too, thanks!
u/JulianWyvern [+2] Wayward Wanderer*
Red hooes he helped somehow regardless Red hopes
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor*
Fixed, thanks!
u/Grasmel [+2] *
the bidoof the girl -> the bidoof and the girl
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Got it, thanks you :)
u/tokol [+2] The Greater Good*
"Righ, so like that thing about noticing yourself getting upset, Righ -> Right
So Red starts walking, passing by the various pokemon As a reader, this line jarred me. Having the third person narration use "So" here feels conversational enough that I flipped from being engaged in the story to feeling like the author is speaking to me as a reader.
other than some pidgey and sparrow flying in the distance sparrow -> spearow
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor*
All fixed, thanks :)
u/tjhance [+2] *
She can fight, like most pokemon, but it doesn’t like to. Maybe not a typo, but I thought it was weird that Leaf refers to her pokemon as "she" and then as "it"
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Fixed, thanks!
u/NukeNoodles [+2] *
"If something lie that becomes widespread, it'll cause pokemon to be even more hurt in battles" lie to like
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Fixed!
u/LazarusRises [+2] *
"some pidgey and sparrow" -> spearow
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Fixed :)
u/sharikak54 [+2] *
The bit about the five of them pulling into a taxi confused me. The previous sentences only mention four people - Blue, Aiko, Glen, and Elaine - so it took me awhile to realize you meant to add Red and Leaf back in to the people going to visit Aiko, who was not in fact at the same location as the other three mentioned in the same breath as her.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor*
Yeah, that nagged at me but I thought I was over-worrying. I've just listed there names now instead :)
u/sharikak54 [+2] *
Looking back, I think it's because the start of that paragraph feels like a switch to Blue's point of view.
u/None [+2] *
[deleted]
u/DaystarEld [+2] Pokémon Professor*
Dammit, thought I got all of them. Just did another sweep, hopefully got them now :) Thanks!
u/thrawnca [+1] Carbon-based biped*
against boy's mind/against the boy's mind internal organs and physiology is/internal organs and physiology are
u/Silver_Swift [+3] *
I mean do you want to prove you’re the best of this particular generation of trainers? Or do you want to be the best, like no one ever was Great, now I have that song stuck in my head for the next week or so.
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+3] *
Battle bond and limit break. Sir, I think I love you
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor*
<3
u/TheTrickFantasic [+1] *
What does it say about me that I think Battle Bond was actually the best name? Releasing the conditioning isn't the only thing that Red's doing with the psychic connection - he's also receiving valuable sensory information.
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+3] *
Hello there! First of all, /u/TheGreatTactician took the words from my mouth
I just want you to know that every time I see a new chapter of this story, it makes my entire day. Seriously, I actually spend all month waiting for the next update, only to repeat the process. Keep up the nice work my dude. Secondly, I wanted to ask you some questions. You see, I'm GMing a ptu campaing and I intend to use your world, mainly because it is awesomelly well built, coherent and connected, and is able to give a sense of the dangers of living along such creatures. It is true that I will make some changes in the name of gameplay (capture rate, welcome back) and other just because we (the players and I) like it, such is giving some pokemon intelligence or adding mystic powers to some human blodlines. Why I'm telling you all of this? Well, first because I would like to know what you think about it and if you have any suggestions, second... because I would like to ask you some things I've found out I would need to know. For example, one of my players dislikes the fact that there is death sentence over renegades, and asked my if there is people that opposes it, how many, what kind of groups, etc.
u/DaystarEld [+3] Pokémon Professor*
Glad you're enjoying the story so much! I'm totally fine with anyone using the setting and whatnot for their own stuff, and don't really have any opinions on the changes: do whatever works for you and your players! My only recommendation for the mystic powers in human bloodlines is to try and make sure any you introduce have a weakness associated with it, the way psychics are more at risk from ghost/dark attacks and feel the pain of the pokemon they merge with, and the way dark people can't use teleportation and are somewhat distrusted by society. As for Renegades, there are some groups that are against the death sentence for it, but not ones that have a lot of political clout: think of Renegades as how our world treats terrorists and you'll have some baseline for just how much they're reviled. The rest of it comes from a sense of deep betrayal. The world only works as one where mankind is trying to survive against the monsters all around them: to use those monsters against your fellow man marks them as the worst kind of villain, in a lot of the fiction of the world. What might help is a better idea of the Renegade trial process, which goes something like this:
- Someone is accused of being a Renegade. The accuser tells their story to a ranger or police officer, who puts out essentially a warrant for the accused's arrest.
- If they fight or try to escape when charged, they're assumed guilty and often killed on the spot. If they get away:
- They're marked as a Renegade officially, and anyone who sees them can get a reward for killing or capturing them. Hunters are trainers specifically allowed to train their pokemon to attack humans, and may be employed by the League if needed. If they submit:
- A hearing is called with the original accusers and the accused. Four additional people need to witness against them along with the highest ranking Ranger available. A number of factors go into the process. 4a) If their pokemon directly attacked another human, they're tested to see if they have been trained to do so. If they have and they are not a registered Hunter, this is often considered strong proof, and they are quickly condemned. If the danger to humans was not due to a direct attack, this is skipped. 4b) A psychic is often called to weigh in as one of the witnesses, particularly if it does not appear pre-meditated. If they're Dark or there's reason to believe they might have trained to resist psychics, this is skipped. 4c) Ranger and witnesses ask any questions that might reveal that humans were not put at risk intentionally. The person's background is recited and taken into consideration too. If they have a criminal history, this is often a mark against them. If they have participated in any notable wild pokemon incidents, this is often a mark in favor of them.
- There's a vote, which is often accompanied with official paperwork, but sometimes that part is done later based on potential hectic nature of circumstance.
- If the decision is not unanimous, they are released but put on probation, their pokemon held by the nearest city until they go through some safety courses to ensure whatever incident led to people believing they were a Renegade is not repeated. If the paperwork is delayed and what was originally a unanimous vote is no longer unanimous, protocol differs based on region: in some a new hearing is called and the process is repeated with different judges and Ranger, in others the accused is released. The Indigo League does the the former.
- If it is, they are branded and the nearest Leader is called in to execute them. This is done differently in different regions and is ultimately the Leader's decision. Most put them to sleep first through some thing like sleep powder or jigglypuff singing. An overdose of sleep powder can then be used, or lethal injection of some poison. In the past it was more common for them to be trampled or burned or electrocuted to death, but most modern cities frown upon such brutal tactics, unless the Renegade caused a significant amount of death and destruction.
- If their pokemon directly attacked a human, they are given to Hunters to retrain or killed if they were particularly vicious or deadly. If not, they are given to next of kin as in a normal death.
- If at any point in the future one of the accusers recants their testimony or a witness admits to being bribed or pressured, an investigation is launched and heavy jail time and reparations to the family imposed. This is excessively rare, happening no more than a handful of times a year worldwide, compared to the average of two or three Renegades accused per year in any given region. Hope that's helpful!
u/Ceres_Golden_Cross [+1] *
Wow. I was expecting an answer, but this is awesome! The trial process will be very helpful when the time comes, thanks a lot. I am still thinking about how to handle some pokémon been intelligent. Maybe there are just few like those, and choose to be alone. The interesting part will be the more... Godlike legendaries, as I'm not sure what you will do with them (the creación trio, the lake trio, the swords of justice...) and what their relationship with humans. I always envisioned the aqua and magma teams as the result of some old cult (kinda like the most radical belivers at petalburg) I think that is all for now. I wish I were better at english so I could make deep reviews of the chapters. In any case, keep up the good work!
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor*
No problem! And your English seems great to me, so feel free to review whatever you want :)
u/A_Common_Hero [+3] *
Between Red potentially being "recruited" by Sabrina, who unless I'm massively misremembering is known to be part of the Mewtwo project, Red's power to (temporarily... so far) strip safety conditioning off of Pokemon, and Mewtwo's presumably massively scaled up psychic potential... Hmm. I'm starting to become very concerned that literally no one has asked how safe using this power is for humans yet. So far the closest we've gotten is Leaf insisting it would be dangerous for Pokemon, and Red seeming to be a little aware of (and trying to manage) the risks involved in what he's doing. But so far no one's red flagged this as potentially a potential society destroying mega problem yet if it becomes misused, presumably because (so far) it's completely temporary. But those safety guards Red is lowering exist for a reason, and Red isn't the only one with psychic powers. I guess probabilistically you could assume he can't be the first one to come up with this idea, and the world hasn't ended yet so therefore its harmless, but that's really flimsy logic. No one's really gone through the process of ratifying any potential disasters before jumping straight into Red using it directly to improve the performance of his own starter. What if it weakens the conditioning over time? What if it strengthens a Pokemon's mind against currently used conditioning techniques, making it harder to train them? No one thought to, say, catch a couple dozen Rattata, let the Pokeballs automatically train them up, and then push their conditioned to the breaking point over the course of several months to see what the (honestly not even particularly) long term effects are? If Red is the first one to think of this, and then he goes and tells a bunch of people (despite Aiko's insistence to the contrary, he hasn't been silent about it so far to anyone who just happens to ask), who tell a bunch of people, and other psychics hear about it? If that happens you better hope it really is that safe. Otherwise you'll have a bunch of trainers ignorant to the potential side effects, all using it on their Pokemon, which would be a disaster in and of itself even if it doesn't cause any other form of major (that is, permanent) disruption. And back to Mewtwo. Why do I suspect this ends with Mewtwo learning about this and using his massive psychic ability to deliberately "de-safety" trainer's (non-Dark I suppose) Pokemon on a wide scale? Even just in, say, a building sized area over a temporary time, dialing up this ability to eleven could cause pretty massive problems. And wow, if Red didn't have ethical concerns (and little motivation towards trainer battling), what's to stop him from sending out a "tanky" Pokemon, in hopes it won't die, and then deliberately dial up the "release instincts" dial on an opponent's Pokemon as high as it will go to make them look like they lost control, and therefore get them disqualified? Actually, is that even a thing? I imagine it would have to be. Do that to a Gym Leader and watch the political backlash roll in... Well, I guess one reason he can't do that is he's not that great at connecting to Pokemon he's never seen before as an offhand action yet.
u/DaystarEld [+1] Pokémon Professor*
Can't respond without spoilers, but have an upvote for the great comment :D