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Old Friends- Chapter 2 of Book 3 of Harry Potter and the Natural 20
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Comments:
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u/cae_jones:
I have only one complaint: the story is now split up among so many different settings that we can get a nice, full chapter like this one, and it feels shorter by virtue of it being mostly short, connected-but-not-immediately scenes. It could be worse. It could be the seventh and eighth books of the Wheel of Time, which have the exact same problem, but feel longer for it. This is helpful in a way; one of my stories gets similarly disconnected, and how to make that work for the audience has been bugging me for ages. Who better to learn from than a professional munchkin? (I really like the Luceus/Riddle scene! I like the others, but this one particularly sticks out as clever. I'll reserve comment on Hanna's magic hamster until we get back to it. In the mean time, I'll go looking for previous hints that might explain its plot-hook-if-I-ever-saw-one behavior. ) -
u/None:
The long wait makes it very noticeable how much the writing has improved since chapter 1. This is very good.