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[RT][FF] Chapter 25 of Lighting Up the Dark, a rational Naruto fanfic
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u/ZeroNihilist:
Mother of Learning, Team Anko, and Lighting Up the Dark updating on the same day? What is this, Christmas?-
u/Saffrin-chan:
Well... yes. ^Give ^or ^take ^5 ^days ^:) -
u/Solonarv:
Significant Digits, too. Though that's not as infrequent as the other three :p
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u/shashwat986:
Absolutely brilliant! > The Nara are taught from birth to live in shadow, so that others do not have to live in theirs. -
u/Nevereatcars:
Holy crap, you've somehow managed to have a character manipulate Naruto *even more blatantly* than Eaglejarl did.-
u/eaglejarl:
I'm not sure if I should be flattered to be the standard of comparison or insulted at...something? I know, I'll be insulomplimented.-
u/Nevereatcars:
I didn't intend to insult you, so just be flattered.- u/eaglejarl:
I wasn't actually, I just liked the word insomplimented.
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u/JulianWyvern:
It only gets better because THIS Naruto had time to develop his rationality! -
u/Solonarv:
Wait, what do you mean? [](#s "Kurama") is just trying to help Naruto, why do you have to be so suspicious of him all the time?- u/Nevereatcars:
"I only used you in ways that made you stronger. That's what it means to be used by a friend." -Harry James Potter Evans Verres and Kurama at some point, hopefully.
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u/blazinghand:
I like this introduction of Jiraiya. It's easy to forget that in addition to being a legendary ninja capable of summons and jutsu beyond that of any jounin, Jiraiya is also a spymaster. This is exactly the kind of test he'd run, and also the way he'd choose to apprehend Naruto. Jiraiya is good with people! -
u/DrunkenQuetzalcoatl:
In canon the [Bell Test](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Bell_Test) was not invented by Kakashi. It was already used on the Sannin and Kakashis team. I believe Kakashi continues to give this test in canon even after it has failed on Orochimaru because of nostalgia/trauma. A test you can pass by not caring about passing (like the first Chuunin Test in canon) is not very good.- u/Velorien:
You and I know that. Sasuke has no reason to.
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u/Aretii:
So I'm guessing neither of the Hyuugas passed. Bummer that we now have to wait for undefined time, but I imagine it'll be worth it. Incidentally - are you planning to go back and clean up the initial chapters at any point? Your later writing blows it out of the water, and the contrast in style is really apparent.-
u/Velorien:
RE Hyūga, I never actually meant that to be a source of suspense, but now that I realise it is, it is my solemn duty as an author to maintain it until the final moment. RE cleaning up, what precisely do you mean? Having never written serialised fiction before, I'm not familiar with the concept.-
u/ProperAttorney:
Seems like he means edit. Mostly reading over your work and rewording things in ways that make the story flow better, removing extraneous word or sentences, maybe even adding in descriptions where you think necessary. It's not a point against you, it's that most people become better at things after having practiced them and you've become so much better now that the difference is noticeable between this chapter and the first few.-
u/Velorien:
Fair enough. I'll look into it.-
u/Transfuturist:
It would be better to wait until the entire work is completed before revising, if revising is indeed worth it. You aren't making any money off of this, and revising is probably not as enjoyable as writing the first draft.- u/erasels:
This. A lot of authors want to revise their first few chapters and then stop writing, because of lack of motivation.
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u/None:
Editing, re-writes (Wildbow re-wrote the first seven arcs of Worm later on, for instance), I'm guessing. I definitely agree that the early chapters could use some work. Your writing has gotten much better.
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